I’ve been thinking a lot about funk lately. And not the good George Clinton kind. I mean funk of the ass-dragging, Eeyore-moping, ho-hum variety. Because I’ve been in one this week…which is not, I repeat NOT my natural habitat.
On the rare occasion that this happens, my first step is to check in with what I’m DOING. Upon closer inspection, I’m doing everything I’m “supposed” to be doing. Everything I “should” be doing to lead up to some pretty big goals. Which is good. In hearing the air quotes in my own thought process, I figured it was time to pay attention to them and reevaluate some goals to see if they were SMART or not (that is, resonant and thrilling) and yup, they are. HELL YES, in fact. So, that’s not it.
Step two: checking in with what’s going on when I’ve been feeling really good. And lousy.
This week’s good:
- coaching clients through tricky spots
- contributing to design decisions for the campaign creative of a charitable event I’m chairing (more on this later)
- being fully present during family time
This week’s lousy:
- doing things that don’t feel like me in order to keep up with the Jones’s (oooh, those lousy Jones’s with their brilliant insights, fabulous style, crazy success…you can fill in any number of unrealistic attributes here)
- collaborating on a project that doesn’t have a really clear end result
- going through the motions of checking things off of my to-do…and worse, lacking focus to check off much
- being fairly judgmental about a situation in my personal life
- not having very much fun or many belly laughs
Not surprisingly, what’s felt good has meant that I’ve been honouring some fundamental core values: helping/healing, creativity, collaboration and connection.
What’s been lousy about my week is that I’ve been not only tripping over some other core values, but metaphorically starving them of affection and attention. My values of leadership, authenticity, clarity, recognition, play, empathy and risk taking are getting mighty pissed off and rewarding me with, you guessed it…a funk. And again, not the good kind.
It’s plain to see, laid out on paper like that. Being a coach and having a coach means that I am well aware of what my values are, and what needs tending to. I may not get my life to turn on a dime, but I can shift nimbly and start tending to some attention-starved values straight away….as in, THIS VERY MOMENT. Luckily, they are as forgiving as my jade plant…once they get the right amount of loving, they’ll plump right back up and reward me in an infinite number of ways. They always do.
I’d like to same for you. Stay tuned for the next post…it will be chock-a-block full with tools to help you uncover your values….with or without a coach.
Tanya, you’re in good company. It’s a mathemagical fact that the most depressing day of the year falls around 23 Jan so no worries – this too shall certainly pass. I’ve also been feeling like a four letter word all week and for no good reason. I blame the calendar. February can’t come quickly enough.
ps. I hate the Joneses. Let’s go egg their perfect house.
Comment by Sharon — January 29, 2010 @ 12:28 pm
Hey Tanya- I agree with Sharon. I’ve also heard that, and man is it true- I REALLY felt it Jan 24 2005, a month after Mom’s passing- it was the darkest day I had ever felt. Thank goodness February is only a couple of days away, and it is just a little bit lighter after 5:30 pm now- Spring and sunshine will be here in NO time! Chin up hon, and I hope next week is better for you. When shall we egg the Joneses???
Comment by Christina — January 29, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
Ah…thanks for the commiserative love and offers of vandalism. I joke, I joke, but in truth it’s always wonderful to see people share what is going on for them.
And yes, January and its lack of sun really can impact us (how in sweet merciful heaven do the Finns hack the Arctic night), but it’s given me pause to figure out what I CAN control (like doing things that make me feel like crapcakes) and take steps accordingly. Feeling better for it already.
XO
PS – you’ll let me know if I can ever help you guys, right? Stine? Sharon? I’m here.
Comment by admin — January 30, 2010 @ 8:47 am
Excellent post… I love how you made a list of what you were doing when you felt good and what you were doing when you felt bad.
I think I will try that next time I’m in a funk.
Comment by Shannon | Confessions of a Loving Wife — January 30, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
Yes, for SURE it is wonderful to know that people share your problems and what is going on for them. No one wants to ever feel alone.
I also love the list idea- I just have a hard time penning paper!
Thanks T, of course I know you’ll always be there for me, and know that I’m there for you too………
xo
Comment by Christina — February 1, 2010 @ 7:22 pm
[...] values and how integral they are for me in my life (have you noticed?). If I feel weak, am in a funk or annoyed, I know right away that a value is being trampled on. When I am feeling like I can fly, [...]
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