I want to share with you the worries of my heart. They don’t show up in my status updates, nor in my Instagram feed. Not because I’m ashamed of them. No no no. I’m not ashamed of them. I just don’t happen to be on social media between 2:22 to 3:30 am on Monday morning when these worries visit me and will not relent. Is my father okay? Are we living the life we’re supposed to? Is my daughter happy enough? Is my business happy enough? Am I making the right decisions? Am I swinging out enough, too much, not enough? Am I missing something (oh why oh why oh why do I feel like I’m always missing something)? What am I forgetting? WHAT AM I FORGETTING?
Because I know you know the 2:22 am worries. They’re like potato chips. You can’t have just one.
If you’re a parent, you live with your heart outside of your body. If you’re an entrepreneur, you live in fear that you’re not activating as you ought to. If you’re a creative, you worry that you’re not creating enough…or that it won’t be well-received. If you’re a human being living and breathing and walking, you worry that it’s all so fleeting. You worry because it all matters.
Though worry, of course, has about as much nutritional value as those potato chips. (And not nearly as satisfying.)
Yes. I know.
And all we can do is continue to breathe.
Count “one” on the inhale, “two” on the exhale, “three” on the next inhale, and so on until you get to ten. Repeat this until you feel yourself back in the present moment.
It’s the meditation that brings me back into my body. The body that knows the ground will support me. That my lungs will breathe for me. That my heart will beat for me. That the work is unfolding for me. That I am in the right place. That my intentions are good. That I am surrounded and guided by love.
You are too.
And from there, I am free to sleep, to dream and to heal.
You are too.