Unshakeable confidence is the kind of confidence that you can count on and that won’t quit you.
It’s not about never having your confidence waver. Nuh uh.
What we know about in these fiercely trying times, is that we need to hang onto something...and often that something is in our own capacity.
Now, to be clear, you may think I’m suggesting you don’t have confidence. Nope.
But I’m talking about the kind that you can count when it’s time to do the important stuff. Like...have the hard conversations. Make the big asks. Say NO. Level up.
I’ve made quite the study of this, as I am endlessly fascinated by what it takes for people to do remarkable things in times of adversity. How people step up, rise up, stand up when it seems like life is trying to keep them down.
I witness it in my beloved clients, leaders I admire and folx weathering the storms of uncertainty and those who have said: Nuh-uh. Nope. Not today.
There seems to be this through-line running through all of their experiences.
So I’ve been paying pretty close attention and I do believe I’ve figured it out.
Actually...I KNOW I’ve figured it out.
Unshakeable confidence isn’t something you HAVE. It’s something you cultivate, practice, devote yourself to.
And when you practice it? You become FAR more resilient to the Impostor Complex when it shows up (and it will.)
You can see the Impostor Complex’s lies for what they are, and have a faster recovery when it tries to take you out.
You expand your capacity to bring in more, much more, of what you desire.
You know what it’s comprised of?
It’s about knowing what you stand for.
Knowing who you are and what you’re HERE FOR.
Taking right action from there.
Whether it’s swinging out on your dreams, hiring the team, raising prices, speaking your message to bigger audiences, or setting bigger goals.
Unshakeable Confidence is the practice of a lifetime.
THERE are three cornerstones of UC.
Three legs of a stool, each with their own value and merit. Each of equal importance.
Integrity means you trust in what you stand for.
Presence means you know who you are and what you’re here for.
Action means you get it done.
Like I said: three legs of a stool. Each of equal merit and value. Each of equal importance.
And when all three are engaged, the stool is stable. It is unshakeable.
When you have Integrity and Presence engaged, you can TRUST in it.
When you have Integrity and Action engaged, you can ACTIVATE from it
When you have Action and Presence engaged, you can COUNT on it
Does that mean you will never wobble again? That you’ll never second-guess your decision?
No. Our fears and insecurities our life’s challenges get more sophisticated alongside of our own evolution.
But when we know what we’re up against, we can make better, more aligned choices when your foundation isn't cobbled together between your mood, worries about how much other people think of you and caffeine.
We can ask ourselves how we are honouring presence, integrity and action and make different choices.
You know the oft-cited saying “if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for everything?” Absolute truth. If integrity needed a bumper sticker, it would be that.
And what I know about integrity is this:
- it’s comprised of relentless obedience to your vision
- it’s about honouring your word
- it’s about operating from authenticity
For me, Business Strategist, Author, Podcaster and Community-Builder Tara Gentile is the literal epitome of integrity. In business and in life. As long as I’ve known her, she has been driven by a desire to build another way of dispersing power...a New Economy. One where outsiders become insiders become leaders and collective wisdom reigns supreme.
It’s what she stands for and what she stands in. Over the years, this vision has been refined and expressed in new and innovative ways, from an actual co-working space in Oregon, to its current iteration: CoCommercial, the online business brain trust and virtual office space for over 700 and counting members.
Her word is her code and her code is all about lifting up others. And she shows up with pure unadulterated authenticity. Who she seems to be is who she is.
She is integrity. And her vision is blossoming as a result.
TO be clear, she is also steeped in presence and action. Integrity and action actually are her set points, but she’s done work with PRESENCE.
- What do YOU stand for?
- What visions are you obedient to?
- Do you honour your word?
- Do you show up authentically?
Integrity, my friends. Nothing, and I mean nothing beats it.
There’s a reason Amy Cuddy wrote an entire book devoted to it...she posits that they opposite of Fear is not Fearlessness, but rather PRESENCE.
And to me, Presence comes down to three things:
- it’s about grounding into your POWER
- it’s about knowing who you ARE and what makes you YOU
- it’s about having reverence for that sacred being that you are
It’s about placing value on what you are, WHO you are...the very things that are not fleeting. And the very things that are not outside of you, like your numbers, fans, followers and dollars in the bank.
Presence is in knowing who you are, where you come from and where you’re going.
Take Lena West, Business Growth Mentor to unapologetic women entrepreneurs. (Even by her HANDLE you know that she knows who she is.)
I had the honour of spending nine months with Lena in the Starring Role Academy and let me tell you, day in, day out, Lena was rooted in her seat of POWER, knew who she was, and was a model for us all for being reverent for the gifts she’d been given. And that knowing who she is (and isn’t) gave her the space to be wildly generous and expansive within the context of her massive capacity.
In fact, within the halls of the Academy, we started to adopt her catch-phrase “I’m here for that.”
It was short form for I’m not here for everything, but I know what I know, and I know who I am and I know what I’m here for.
Feel THAT presence? #I’mhereforTHAT
Unmistakable and unshakeable.
- What are YOU here for?
- Are you rooted in your power?
- How well do you know your values?
- How do you practice reverence for the glorious being you are?
People think confidence creates action.
Action creates confidence. PARTICULARLY action rooted in integrity built upon presence.
Hesitation creates the mountains...action moves it.
But action isn’t all heft and rigour and sweat all the time.
It’s vulnerable, and tender.
- it’s about a willingness to fail
- it’s about being resilient
- it’s about being tenacious
And when I think of ACTION? I think of Starring Role Academy Alumni Maggie Patterson and Brittany Becher of Scoop Industries. These two mega Mavens are unstoppable (tattoos are coming, I’m told)
When the online industry zigs, they root into what they do best and keep on going, better, stronger, more powerfully than ever, releasing some clients and bringing on even more that were truly aligned.
When Maggie realized that she had been hiding behind her work, I saw her pushing herself out onto social media compelling people to invite her onto their podcast.
When Brittany calls herself out for holding back in perfectionism, I see her swing out and say NO to it (I’ve been following along on their “Say NOvember” Instagram challenge)
Action looks like asking for what you need.
Action looks like saying NO.
Action looks like receiving.
Action looks like DOING.
Action looks like getting it DONE like these two Unshakeable, Unstoppable Small Business Bosses.
- What do you make happen?
- What are you willing to risk?
- How well are you cultivating resilience in yourself?
- What does tenacity look like for you?
And here’s where things get massively fascinating for me.
You know how I’m always talking about the Impostor Complex and the coping mechanism that we go to to avoid feeling like an Impostor?
Perfectionism, procrastination, diminishment, comparison, people-pleasing and leaky boundaries?
Welp, turns out they are
- Confidence killers, AND
- Important keys to the unshakeable confidence puzzle
We KNOW when we’re not honouring integrity, because we are stuck in: leaky boundaries or people-pleasing.
We KNOW we aren’t honouring presence, because we get stuck in: diminishment or comparison.
We KNOW we aren’t taking action because we are stuck in: procrastination or perfectionism.
Super handy to see that, right?
Now you know.
Which stool leg has your confidence feeling wobbly? What needs attention?
Because when you DO stabilize the stool:
- You will have a faster recovery when the Impostor Complex shows up.
- You will ask for the raise.
- Say yes to the speaking gig.
- Go for the book deal.
- Build the platform.
- Plan for massive growth in your business.
- Stand up for what you know to be right.
- Surround yourself with the best
- Ask for what you need.
- Pursue excellence, but remaining untethered to perfectionism
- You become an EXPERT in catching yourself when you start to waver those coping mechanisms crop up
- You expand your capacity to bring in more, much more, of what you desire.
- And more is no longer a word that scares you….MUCH
- Show up for you, for your work, for THEM, for your soul
That’s what I want for you.