I often forget to say it, hoping that my daily practice of gratitude captures it all. Yet I know that it doesn’t.

So thank you.

For being here when you could be somewhere else. Somewhere fancier. Somewhere smarter. Somewhere more elegant. Somewhere more hilarious. Somewhere hipper.

Oh yes, I have those thoughts.

And yet, you are here.

Thank you for reading my words.

Thank you for sharing your comments, sharing your dreams, sharing your goals, sharing your gifts.

Thank you for sharing my words with your “likes”, “tweets” and “recommends”.

Thank you for being patient, receptive, warm and loving as I grow and stretch and retreat and grow some more.

Thank you for asking me for what you need from me (please don’t ever stop…) It means we’re in relationship.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

Love,

Making the decision to raise your rates is a grade A biggie. There are good reasons to keep your old rate (everyone will be happy). And there are consequences to keeping your old rate (everyone will be happy except you…and you know how well THAT usually works out).

Once you’ve made the decision to raise rates, all the negative self-talk and naysaying saboteurs/gremlins/inner critics love to show up for a feeding frenzy. They’re your first obstacle. And they hate nothing more than clarity. So that’s what you must feed them: a steady diet of straight talk.

Here’s What You Tell Yourself (and Your Saboteurs)

Say this, loud and proud:

I am raising my rates because:
1) I know the value of my worth and it’s time that I was compensated accordingly. (This may mean saying “no” to brain-picking too…your call).
2) I know what I need to do to grow my business and raising my rates will allow me to create more. (More of what is up to you).
3) I have done my due diligence and I know what the market will bear. (Because you HAVE).
4) I know the value of my worth and it’s time that I was compensated accordingly. (This bears repeating…saboteurs like to pretend they didn’t hear you the first time).

So, that’s what you say to your saboteurs…but let me be clear. How you handle your saboteurs is very different from how you handle your beloved clients.

Here’s What You Tell Your Clients

With respect and appreciation and clarity, state: “I am raising my rates next month.”

Period.

You could try to explain how your rate increase means you’ll be working with fewer clients and providing them with better service etc, but truthfully, when I’m on the receiving end of this speech, it rarely resonates. I get it. You’re in business. And you deserve to be compensated. But as your client, I’d like to know:

“What’s the impact on me?”

At this point, you have two choices:

1) Temporarily grandfather the existing rates of your current clients and in doing so give them a couple of months grace before the new rates take effect. If you do so, it remains important that you tell them about the increase. If you’re good (and you must be, you rate-raiser, you) they are referring you to others. And if that’s so, you must educate your sales force – a.k.a “your clients” – about your price. No one likes sticker shock.

2) Have your existing clients start paying your new rate immediately. If this is the case, I am hoping that you have managed expectations early in the hiring process. When I start work with my coaching clients, we typically agree to a three month arrangement at a given price ($400/month + tax, if you’re curious). In our written agreement, I have included this caveat: Client and coach will discuss any rate increase at least one month prior to the agreement ending in order to establish a new agreement. People like surprises even less than they like sticker shock.

Will clients walk away?

The simple answer is…possibly.

Possibly yes, possibly no.

If you opt for choice #2, then it’s possible they have become quite comfortable with the old rate and they may believe your new rate is outside of the perceived threshold of what they can handle. DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY. You can either try to convince them the work you’re doing together is every bit as valuable as it ever was (feel the energy drain?), or you can invest that energy in finding new clients that are happy to pay your new rate (feel the energy lift?).

And for those who choose to walk away, lovingly hand them a list of people in your field that offer their services at the lower rate. It’s a classy and unforgettable act of generosity. No regrets, no hard feelings. Just expansive growth.

Stand as a model for your clients. Chances are good it’s time they raised their rates too. Show them how to raise rates in the most elegant and masterful way possible.

Remember that beach vacation when you were a kid and your older sibling was off chasing boys (or girls) and you were on your own? And your parents, who were more interested in their sangria than managing your social life, distractedly waved you off to “go make a friend” and it seemed impossible in that moment until you saw HER and went over and said: “let’s be friends” and she said yes?

For me, that was Tara Sophia Mohr. We’ve been hanging out on the same beach for a while now and I’ve always been curious about her and her sandcastles (they always seem SO WELL put together). And do you recall the 2012 planning post wherein I declared my search for a publicist and I committed to “Ask my coaching colleagues/peers who they work with (by Dec 31, 2011)”?

That’s what I did. I asked the girl with the well constructed (and beautiful) sandcastle for a Skype chat and she said yes.

I knew she was wise. I knew she was wonderful. What I wasn’t prepared for was how WARM she is. (Frequent and regular Skype tea dates are in the works.)

If you don’t know her, here’s what she’s up to in this world. She’s an expert on women’s leadership and women’s wellbeing. She has created the wildly popular “10 Rules for Brilliant Women” and the 6-month Playing Big women’s leadership program (full disclosure: that there is an affiliate link), Tara’s work has been featured on The Today Show, ForbesWoman, USA Today, More Magazine and is regularly published in Huffington Post. She received her undergraduate degree from Yale University and her MBA from Stanford University. Tara is also the author of Your Other Names: Poems for Wise Living.

Cerebral and soulful stuff. Interested in hearing about her path? Me too.

What’s your thing?

Tara Sophia Mohr:  My thing is being Tara. These days (these years, really,) that generally looks like this:

• bringing women’s voices into the world
• helping women play bigger
• speaking-writing-communicating to bring about the world I want to see. every day there is something new to say. I love saying it.
• letting poems come through.
• creating beauty. basking in beauty.
• laughing in community, being with friends, being over the moon happy that you (and you, and you and you) exist and are right here, with me!
• being silly and dancing around the apartment cracking up my husband.
• compassion, compassion, compassion, because compassion is the natural expression of wisdom, the fruit of seeing things as they really are.

Note on the above: nothing in my life is linear. So please picture these words in a big swirling circle, not in a list.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Tara Sophia Mohr: It was a return. It was a return to my childhood dreams. I’m not someone who was fundamentally confused about what my thing was, though I spent many years saying “I don’t know what my thing is.” Translation: “My thing might be that thing I’ve been dreaming of since I was five, but frankly that thing seems too impractical and scary to go for, so I’ll ignore that and take some career assessment tests instead.”

I don’t think we all “find” our things. I did some combination of remember, recover, listen and experiment my way into my thing.

There was a time in my life about four years ago when I made a pretty radical shift toward living a more authentic life and career. I don’t know what caused that to happen on one day and not another, but the change felt precipitated by intensifying pain: the pain of the inauthentic way of living grew great enough that I was willing to face the discomfort involved in change.

When the old shoe really, really, really gets uncomfortable? That’s when I often start to make change. But what causes the shoe to get uncomfortable at a certain point? Something mysterious, something that has to do, I believe, with the timeline of our soul’s unfoldment.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Tara Sophia Mohr:  For me, life has often felt like trying to sew together two pieces of fabric: one piece is my authentic self. The things she loves. Her natural, confident, uninhibited, blissed-out self. Picture a happy five year old, totally unself-conscious, in her element, doing her thing. That’s piece of fabric #1.

The other piece of fabric is the world: the more competitive, judgmental landscape where that natural self was not always welcomed or safe or validated.

How to sew the two together? How to make them connected, so I can move across them easily? How to walk in the world as my authentic self comfortably and confidently – to say what I had to say – no matter how radical or how ridiculed?

That has been my primary challenge. What has helped me has been in part outer: having powerful support people in my life –community, teachers, friends – who gave me tools and championed my dreams when I was just getting started in listening to them and acknowledging them. But inner work has been equally important, particularly work around 1) clarifying my vision 2) understanding what the inner critic is and how it operates and 3) getting wise about how to deal with fear.

The programs I lead are very informed by what has most helped me – and what most helps the other women I work with.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Tara Sophia Mohr: Some of my favorite questions:

What is my message to share in this situation, my unique truth? (Note: if no one else sees what you are saying or is talking about what you are thinking, that makes your perspective more needed, not less; more valuable not less).

What does my heart need in order to follow itself? (In any situation to ask your heart, “Dear heart: what do you need right now, to follow yourself?”)

How can I be a representative of love in this situation? (This question has saved me a hundred times. Saved me from pettiness, fear-based responses, aggression and brought me right back into love. You be surprised how well it works in business environments too.)

***

I’m appreciating the notion of the two fabrics. I’m appreciating her powerful questions. I’m appreciating the power of support systems. And I’m appreciating the worn shoe metaphor. I’m appreciating it all.

What are you appreciating?

Please share in the comments or let’s talk about this on Facebook OR go ahead and spread her wisdom with your people on Twitter.

Tweetworthy Tara Sophia Mohr-isms (for your sharing pleasure)

——–

You can find Tara Sophia Mohr at her site; or on Twitter.

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What's YOUR Thing? If you’re trying to find your thing, then signing up for updates is the thing for you. Get Thing Finding Thursday updates, plus:

Top secret and supershiny notices, events and discounts.

We celebrate Christmas on the Eve with my family. It is a quieter affair, with smoked salmon, pierogies + boeuf bourguignon (always), Christmas story reading, stockings (each item, no matter how small, yields an appreciative “ooohhhhHHH” so this is a very long, very humourous ordeal). Once our daughter reluctantly goes off to sleep clutching her bear, the adults will sit together, listening to Mahalia Jackson tell us what her heart knows about Christmas, then get lost in our own thoughts about Christmas Eve’s gone by. Mine will stray to that magical Christmas Eve in Innsbruck, or to the first Christmas spent with my boyfriend (now husband) when he gave me the Led Zeppelin box set (uh huh) and Coco Chanel.

We will miss my Mom.

Once Santa visits (usually around 11pm…odd), we will wake our girl up and she will be bleary-eyed and searching for proof of his visit, grilling us on the details. Her heart’s desire will be wrapped in shimmery paper and this will quell any more discussion. For now.

And it will be beautiful. 

The next day, we’ll spend it with my husband’s family. It’s a large family so everything will be a little, MORE.  Many presents, many people, many stories, many memories.

And it will be beautiful.

I am more grateful than I could ever express that I get to be with two families where there is love. In several different homes where there is food and light and heat. Where there are happy, healthy children.

In fact, I feel a little overcome by it all.

So today, as I charge around, picking up last minute things for the “ooohhhhHHHs” of the stockings, pop in to visit friends for some cheer, and try not to fret that the (PERFECT) gift I found for my husband seems to be stuck at the US-Canadian border, I will keep checking my look in the mirror to make sure what I’m feeling in my heart is found in a smile on my lips.

I am also grateful to you, Dear One. That I get to do the work I get to do is an honour. That I get to write to this blog (and that you read it and love it and tell me in your comments, in your emails, and with your subscriptions) makes my heart fuller still.

So, until we meet on the other side of Boxing Day, here’s my Christmas wish list for you:

• That you set your intentions for how you want these holidays to be, so that there are no regrets.
• That you have it be easy.
• That you enjoy being as gracious of a receiver as you are a giver.
• And once again, that your days are filled with warmth and love; that your mind is filled with curious wonder; and, that your heart is filled with joy.

I’ll see you next Thursday, with an interview with the sublime Danielle LaPorte for Thing Finding Thursday.

Wishing you peace, elation + hydration (that smoked salmon can be a doozy).

Inspired by Schmutzie, a brilliant light I met back in October at the BlissDom Canada conference, I present you: things I love in 400 words. Because seriously, people… isn’t now the perfect time to take stock of your own loves?

Yes indeed.

I love 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, martinis with onions AND olives, olives, lily of the valleys, crusty baguettes, warm puppy smell, popcorn with romano cheese, a clever turn of phrase, covertly watching my daughter play host on an imaginary cooking show, listening to her sing Fountains of Wayne (or Foo Fighters, or Bon Iver or anything else on our iPod), my father’s bear hugs (because it means he’s not in pain in that moment), “just because” postcards, Diptyque candles (Les Baies, natch, though Figue is a close second), Amarone, crunchy fall leaves, listening to kids sing the national anthem, having the door held open for me, the smell of my husband’s scalp, whoopee cushions, an unloaded dishwasher, brainstorming sessions, savasana, the sound of my aunt’s laugh (it’s like my Mom’s, oh God how I miss my Mom), when my daughter reaches for my hand, smart people who make me feel smart, stargazing in the backyard under duvets, little girls plotting in the tree house, how fabulous my ass looks in luon, the smell of orange blossoms, airport reunions, the bittersweetness of Christmas carols, sticky notes, really really old cheddar + fall apples, older couples holding hands, crystalline snow, Sunday afternoon cooking sessions, the kindness of strangers, Liz Lemon, getting up (sometimes) on a surf board, “I love you, Tanya Geisler, because” notes, prosecco with my girls, grass stains, a purring cat on my pillow, being called “Mama”, the lobby of the Park Plaza, smart design for small spaces, frozen grapes, the reverberation of a powerful question, the way the house shakes when my daughter plays with her cousins, kale, the stage, squeaky clean post-dentist teeth, heated floors, watching cats nod off to sleep, the way my husband says my name, pressing “publish”, a shin splint-free run, inari tofu, weighty pens, double rainbows (though a single will do in a pinch), the beaches of Georgian Bay, the song of the ice cream truck (no matter how evil it sounds), a healthy jade plant, waking up to PayPal payment notifications, Japanese gardens,  collaborations that make sense, the riotous colours of Chagall, tear-streaming belly laughs (especially the ones with my sister), Chicago’s waterfront, when it works juuuust right, attentive (but not cloying) waiters, impromptu campfire sing-a-longs (especially when Lisa yells “HONEY” during The Gambler), my husband’s Thurston Howell III imitation, recognition + acknowledgment, and this from my beautiful friend Michelle Ward:

Your turn. What do you love?

To me, Susannah Conway is beauty. (And I’m not just talking about those eyebrows). She’s everything that I appreciate: Honest. Smart. Curious. Forthright. Raw. Elegant. No bullshit. Quirky. Transparent. Brilliant.

Yes. To me, she is beauty.

So it’s no surprise that her work is also about beauty. Capturing and curating as a photographer, writer and the creator of the wildly popular Unravelling e-courses. A Polaroid addict and very proud aunt (love!), her first book, This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart (Globe Pequot Press), launches in June 2012. Registration for her next Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self class opens this Saturday, December 3rd.

…curious as to how she found her way? Me too.

What’s your thing?

Susannah Conway: I help women reconnect to their true selves using photography as the key the open the door. I do this by leading online classes in photography and self awareness, and blogging honestly about the stuff I know to be true. Next year I’ll be spilling my guts in a book, too.

Was finding your thing the result of a divine revelation, an insane invention, a culmination of insights…or something else?

Susannah Conway: I found my thing by experiencing it first and then sharing what I’d discovered with others. In 2005 the man I loved died very suddenly and everything I thought I knew about life changed in that instant. Now I look back and see that my life has unfolded in two acts: in the first 32 years I was lost and disconnected from myself. In the last seven years I’ve healed and become the person I am today.

I found my way back to myself through my cameras and journals. For as long as I can remember writing has been the way I figure stuff out and connect with how I’m feeling. I’ve always kept a journal so it was very natural for me to write my way through my grief. In the second year of my bereavement I discovered blogging and it opened up this whole new creative world to me. Being able to share my thoughts and feelings online was incredibly empowering — it was my way of ‘getting back out there’ from the safety of my living room. I started re-exploring self portraiture, which helped me to see myself again — literally, but also as the woman I was becoming, a woman working her way through loss and finding herself again. There were so many layers to unravel and the healing went far deeper than the bereavement alone.

My Unravelling course began as a local evening class and drew inspiration from my healing journey. I brought my photography and journalling ideas together and shared them with a room full of women. To my surprise the class was a great success! As blogging was such an important part of my life it seemed natural to find a way to share the class online somehow. So in 2009 I did, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Obstacles/fears/doubts – what were they, how’d you vanquish them?

Susannah Conway: 1. Who am I to do this? I can’t say this doubt has been fully vanquished yet. It lingers around me like a bad smell and every time I break through a new boundary it whirls up again and tries to trip me up. All I can do is calm myself down, cross my fingers and keep moving forward. Writing my book brought up a lot of doubt and the anticipation of seeing the finished book out in the world is already starting to fill my stomach with butterflies (actually, no, butterflies sound far too light and pretty — these are more like evil moths) but I will keep going nevertheless.

2. How can I do this? I procrastinated a LOT when creating the online version of Unravelling because I was scared. Scared I’d fail. Scared no one would take a chance on my thing. So I let the technical practical side overwhelm me. I’d do anything other than what needed to be done to build the course. I vanquished that fear by doing it one tiny little step at a time and then setting a public deadline — that was very motivating

3. What if it’s no good? The perfectionist’s reason to not start something! This one has been easier to wrangle with every project I complete. I try to trust that what I put out into the world will be exactly what someone out there needs in that moment. This has been my experience on so many occasions I’m starting to believe that when we do the work we feel called to do it will take flight in the way it is supposed too. It might take a lot of guts, and a shedload of patience, but hard work and faith really can get you there.

What questions did you ask yourself to trigger your a-ha moments…and what signs and milestones should others be looking for in their journeys?

Susannah Conway: 

1. What do I have to offer?
2. What would I do even if I wasn’t getting paid?
3. What comes easily to me?

The answers to those three question have shaped my work life and business. I think it’s really important to pay attention to how you already spend your time. For me it was blogging/being online, journalling and taking photographs. Those were the constants in my day and the three skills that helped bring my thing into being.

And be aware of what makes you feel most like YOU, too. Try to be transparent in all you do, and do the work that makes your heart sing the loudest. If you’re truly passionate about what you do you’ll be more willing to devote all your time and energy to making it work — because that’s what any fledging business or project needs. Give it everything you have, and make it the most honest version of you and your beliefs/desires/dreams. For example, I spent a year trying to make my portrait business grow, networking locally and pimping out my talents for jobs and commissions. At the end of the year I was drained and uninspired, and not wanting to put myself out there any more; I’d thought that was the sort of photography work I should be aiming for, but it just left me depleted.

A few months later, when I was asked to create a photography evening class, I suddenly found myself doing work that inspired me SO MUCH it’s lead to the creation of a full-time business. I’m still using my photography skills, just in a more authentic way. Once I was doing something that was more “me”, everything seemed to start working, business-wise. Life-wise, too.

***

So much richness and texture here. Notice the medicine that heals you may be the medicine that heals others. Notice what depletes you (and stop doing it). Notice what you’re being asked to do. Notice the power of public deadlines.

And what I’m really hoping you’re noticing is how people who are really, REALLY happy with their thing have managed to stitch their skills, loves and desires together. Are you seeing that? In spite of fears? In spite of doubts?

So let’s start there: what are THREE things that make you feel most like you?

(let’s talk about this on Facebook)

——–

You can find Susannah Conway at her site; on Twitter; or Facebook. Find her and revel in beauty. And then sign up for her Unravelling: Ways of Seeing My Self class and revel in your own. You just may find your thing there.

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Whattahook, eh? “Setting Yourself up for Success”? In “seven steps”? Sensing you’re in for some kind of cheesy post, aren’t you?

You’re not.

But you ARE about to get the value of one or two coaching sessions with me in this here monster post, if you do your work.

Ready?

“Success” has such an amorphous quality that it’s almost benign to me. (You too?)

If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.

― Albert Einstein

What does success mean to YOU and where are you at on that spectrum right now?

Let’s find out, Tiger.

Draw a circle on a piece of paper and intersect four lines so that there are eight pie wedges.

Now, assign each pie wedge a different label, each area representing a different aspect of your life.

This is a tool from CTI (called “The Wheel of Life”) and they recommend you label the sections:

Career, Money, Health, Friends and Family, Significant Other/Romance, Personal Growth, Fun and Recreation, Physical Environment

You can download CTI’s Wheel of Life here (it’s on page 2).

I usually have my clients fill out the wheel before we even start working together, so we can get clear on where they are, and where they are going. But I’m finding that the eight categories aren’t representing the full picture, so we’re getting creative with our own categories: sexuality; soul work; relationship with children; relationship with parents etc etc and etc.

And for my solopreneur clients, “career” isn’t quite cutting the fullness of the entrepreneurial experience. So some do a wheel for their personal life, as well as one for their business, while others choose to do a mash-up on the same wheel.

The business wheel could have categories such as: Marketing; Sales; Operations; Accounting; Strategic Planning; PR; Innovation and Development; Customer Service, Communications; Results; Leadership/Team Development; Licensee Management; Flexibility; Productivity and so on. Totally specific to YOU.

(You could also do a wheel for how well your team is performing, or can take a look at your own management process. Those will have different categories still.)

There could be much, MUCH debate about what encompasses “leadership” or “customer service”. I don’t need to be right, I just need you to know what YOU mean by leadership or customer service. On my own wheel of business, I have a Ha-Cha-Cha Factor. This means everything to me and possibly nothing to you. It’s my personal reference point of resonance: am I doing work I love? Is my heart soaring? Am I being philanthropic? Am I collaborating on fabulous projects? It’s super clear to me what it means in any given moment.

Once you have your wheel drawn out (or printed out), assign a number that represents your CURRENT level of satisfaction in that area. Zero – 10, where zero is at the centre where the lines intersect and 10 will be at the perimeter.  Zero means you are completely dissatisfied and 10 is, well, a 10. This is COMPLETELY subjective so don’t overthink it. Once you’ve plotted your number, draw a line, creating a new outer edge for that section and do the same for all 8.

If you’re like most people with a pulse, your wheel will be anything but perfectly round. And if you imagine that wheel going down a hill, you’ve GOT to know that it would be a bumpy ride.

No need for judgment. It’s just a snapshot.

Now dive on in to EACH area of the wheel:

What’s working in this area? What do I want to celebrate? What’s NOT working? What do I want more of?

And most importantly:

IF THIS WERE A 10, WHAT THREE THINGS WOULD BE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?

Go on and write this down. (THIS IS HUGE).

So, you have your vision (life in all realms at a 10) and you have your reality: one bumpy-assed wheel.

Let’s bridge the two, shall we?

Wherein I show you mine

Here’s my wheel:

Clearly, some areas are working very well and other areas could use a bit o’ loving: namely PR. It’s been on the back burner while I focused on other aspects of my work (which accounts for the higher levels of satisfaction in those realms. (Clarity and attention work wonders for satisfaction levels).

I’m pretty clear about what would be going on if PR were at a 10 in my biz:

1)    I’d have a solid PR plan in place.

2)    A rock star publicist would be working the plan like it was her job, ‘cause, like, it WOULD be her job.

3)    She’d actually be enjoying the interesting challenge of keeping up with the media demands for my time: Some TV work, some radio, some writing…all delicious.

Yes, that feels like a 10 for me.

So, moving towards that “10” will require action.

And goals.

SMART Goals for the Smart Set

I usually have my clients set two SMART goals per area. I’ve written about this before, but let’s recap. For a goal to be SMART, it needs to be:

S =  Specific (you know EXACTLY what you want to accomplish)

M = Measurable (you know when you’ve succeeded in doing it)

A = Actionable (you know you can move forward and have evidence to back it up)

R = Resonant (it’s aligned with your values and you’re driven to accomplish it)

T = Thrilling (it’s going to be a thrill to accomplish it).

(BTW, R + T = where the honey’s at)

By looking at what a “10” would be like for me in PR, you can probably guess what my two goals will be for that area, non?

1. Hire a rock star publicist.
2. Create a PR plan.

Once I decide “by when”, then both of these goals will meet my SMART criteria.  AND each goal will require upwards of 5 action items to make it happen (download a blank template for planning action here).

For me to hire that Publicist, I’m going to have to go find her.

So, here’s my plan:

For those of you who can’t read Tanyawriting, here’s my plan:

1. Write a job description (by Dec 9th, 2012)
2. Ask my coaching colleagues/peers who they work with (by Dec 31, 2011)
3. Reach out to my media contacts to see who they recommend (by Jan 31, 2012)
4. Interview 10 candidates (month of Feb, 2012)
5. Make decision (by Feb 24, 2012)

Some obstacles may show up in the process. Some will be real: there may be few suitable candidates. Some will be my own saboteurs (“you can’t really afford to take this on right now” or “you’re being too lazy…just do it yourself”). In all cases, I will have a workaround (aka “planned response”).

I usually plan for a reward once the goal has been completed, but in this case, having this extra person on my team is the reward in and of itself.

So, your turn.

1. Create your wheel of life, of business or of life+business (with the most resonant and personally meaningful labels you can muster).
2. Assess your level of satisfaction in each area.
3. Ask yourself: What’s working in this area? What do I want to celebrate? What’s NOT working? What do I want more of? AND IF THIS WERE A 10, WHAT THREE THINGS WOULD BE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?
4. Based on what that 10 would look like, create two SMART goals for each area.
5. For each SMART goal, create your action plan.
6. Work it like your (version of) success depends on it. It does.
7. Rinse and repeat quarterly.

And THAT, my friend, is how you will succeed.

Your definition + Your plan = Your success.

(Go ahead and celebrate that win – and saving the cost of a couple of coaching session  -  by treating yourself to a brand new set of Ginsu knives for your soda can slicing pleasure).

++++++++++++++++++++++

PS – Want more? Contact me. I have a couple of available spots in my coaching practice.

Yesterday was a glorious autumn day here in Toronto. Unseasonably warm, yet with a shimmer of coolness. Brilliant foliage against the backdrop of a dazzling blue sky.

I left my husband and daughter down at the beach to collect rocks while I went off on a run. I inserted my earbuds, selected my run mix then hunkered down intent on making good time.

I started to notice the leaves dance around my feet, and realized that I was missing their satisfying crunching sound, so I turned off the iPod.  I became entranced by the leaves’ dance…there was purpose and abandon. Then I started to notice the  butterflies shyly darting before me, twirling to their own rhythm. I noticed the  volleyball players to my left had their own beat: volley, set, spike while the waves kept their own time as did my own feet. Dogs, children, birds…all with something to sing.

Music, everywhere. Disjointed and messy and exquisitely gorgeous. Everyone a musician, revelling in their beat. Each piece, equally significant in its insignificance.

It reminded me that we are perpetually in process. A hot, chaotic, cacophony that resolves into beauty…you just need to step back to fully appreciate it.

This performance by Bon Iver on Jimmy Fallon articulates this far better than any words I have. (Be patient with the 30 second advertisement…this is worth the wait). Especially around 3:41. Promise.

Bon Iver – Holocene @ Fallon 2011 by danydance30

Our lives feel like these epochs, but really we are dust in the wind. But I think there’s a significance in that insignificance.

- Justin Vernon (Bon Iver)

Yes.

A long time ago, I was in a rather, shall we say, “unfulfilling” career. Plenty of good stuff, to be sure, like, ummm, a steady paycheck and no-guilt breaks to grab a Starbucks with a colleague, wherein we’d complain and natter about our meany boss and how under-appreciated we were.  My husband would pick me up at the end of the day, and I’d continue my tale of woe-is-me. (Sidebar: I was a real joy to be married to.)

Rinse and repeat.

I climbed the ladder. I got paid more. And then more. And things were supposed to be good. ‘Cause good bucks = good career, right?

And then the complaints would evolve slightly. Under-appreciative bosses would be the main course, with a sprinkling of whining about the art department, and a side of unreasonable clients. And there would be cocktails at the end of the day. Often many.

Rinse and repeat.

The year that our daughter was born (2004), my mother passed away. And in that time of life and death, it became crystal, CRYSTAL clear: my mom’s mantra “don’t postpone joy” wasn’t just a pretty catch phrase; it was the secret to personal fulfillment.

We are meant to live joyfully. We are meant to live FULL lives…not just after 5pm.

It’s a sin that it took her passing for me to face it, but as we know, life wakes you up when you need it most, whether you’re ready or not.

Let me say this: I am incredibly grateful to my time in my former career. If I fumbled along too long, not questioning what I was truly called to do, I was simply being a martyr. And fearful of change.

And so because I was so clear about what I enjoyed about work in that career (thrills, creativity, leadership, collaboration) AND what I didn’t enjoy (micro-management…mine and others’, dissonant project work, etc) it made my “what’s next” option a whole lot juicier.

In that process, I developed the Board of Your Life program when I realized there were many, many like me, successful in careers and scared to leave for fear of what might be next. It’s an incredibly powerful and supportive program that to this day makes me proud to have conceived it.

In that process, I realized I was a Coach.  Always had been, always will be.

And the angels sang.

My heart was bursting with joy that I could apply all of my favourite skills, help people’s lives immensely, witness cathartic breakthroughs, help mend marriages, forge incredible businesses and have people live their truths. AND GET PAID FOR IT.

So, I trained with CTI, became certified and started a business. Just like that.

Except, the “starting a business” part wasn’t “just like that.”

It was hard. And scary. And uncertain. And confusing. How much to charge? Board of Trade? Niche? Target market? Which events to focus on? How much time+money on marketing? EVERYONE SAYS I’M A FABULOUS COACH SO WHY AM I NOT MAKING ANY DAMNED MONEY?!

But my love of coaching sustained me. And a hellaciously supportive network.

What I was yearning for was a Blueprint. The Coaching Blueprint. That Kate Swoboda…she’s a smart cookie. She done did it.

And if you’re a new coach, this is a fabulous e-book resource for you. Kate pulls back the curtain on how to build a sustainable coaching practice because, in her words, “you did not leave a job that was not fulfilling you only to start working in another field and then have that not fulfill you”.

True dat.

It is a HUGE feather in my cap that I am one of the coaches she interviewed (and a proud affiliate, to boot) along with these folks that I admire: Julie Daley, Jamie Ridler, Dyana Valentine, Michael Bungay Stanier, Pam Slim, Tara Sophia Mohr, Tara Gentile, Jennifer Lee, Michelle Ward, Bridget Pilloud and Steve Bearman.

You can pre-order it now for some fun extras (including a 60-day membership workflow app called Satori developed by my new buddy Lachlan Cotter). In the meantime, here’s a wee excerpt of our interview…oh it was fun!

Today, I am focusing my attention on these questions (posed by my favourite yogi Eoin Finn):

How can I be more loving?

How can I be more kind?

How can I have more fun and spread more joy?

Join me?