Expect a breakthrough
At the beginning of every coaching session, I will ask my client where they would like to be at the end of the call.
This is a powerful question that typically lands in a peculiar place for most. It generally elicits dead air for a moment. It’s rare and unusual that we are asked what we want.
This question's power is that it sets an intention, but the mind can’t help but constrain it and it sets the unconscious in motion. Where do I want to be at the end of this day, at the end of this week, at the end of this year?
I don’t prompt, and we sit in the silence for a brief time as they navigate the whirlpool of their stories about wanting and asking and expecting. But then the silence yields to a space filled with named desires and wishes and hopes.
And then we’re off.
But every once in a while, I’ll get this answer instead: Well, I certainly don’t expect a breakthrough.
Hmm. Really? And here’s what I always say: Maybe that’s the problem. Try again.
We’ll negotiate back and forth some more until we get to them finally naming the truth: I’d like to experience a breakthrough.
And then we’re off.
You know what happens then, right? Breakthroughs.
Sometimes within 10 minutes, sometimes right at the end of our time, sometimes in rapid-fire succession.
But here’s what you and I both know: the assertion of the expectation IS the breakthrough.
Oh, please….I know expectations are hard to hold. We’ve been disappointed by people who haven’t delivered on their promises. We’ve hedged our asks, dumbed down our requests, held back our desires. Somehow protecting them - from the world, to be certain. But more so? From activation. From seeing the light of day.
Disappointment is hard, but not as hard as the alternative. Your life keeps showing you that.
Expect a breakthrough.
In a follow-up email with my most recent client who had an unexpected breakthrough, I reminded them of their dialed down expectations that weren’t aligned with their heart’s desire. And I wrote this:
The lesson here? No more hedging for you.
Surround yourself with the best.
Ask for what you want.
Expect a breakthrough.
And then watch it show up.
And so, that is also my wish for you.
It’s a good time to start.
Right now.
Expect a breakthrough.
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