It’s an illusion that you're in this all on your own.
You know the lesson that you are here to teach? The one you keep learning, relearning, and learning once more?
“We teach best what we most need to learn.” – Richard Bach
That lesson, for me, is:: “It’s an illusion that you're in this all on your own.” Time and time again, I hear myself say it to my clients. It showed up in this Cue Card last April.
It’s an illusion that you’re in this all on your own
In fact, it’s the very premise of my Board of Your Life offering.
Because IT’S TRUE. Just about everything I have ever, EVER created was made better or smarter, more easily, more pleasurably, more joyfully when I’ve done it in community. When I haven’t tried to muddle through on my own. When I’ve sought counsel. When I’ve invited support. When I GOT OVER the fact that it didn’t make me seem weak or less independent or LESS THAN because I wanted help holding all that I was trying to create. We all do.
I am surrounded by a stunning flock, to be sure. But it wasn’t something that just happened because I got lucky (though I am indeed, very very lucky). I’ve cultivated relationships. I’ve tended and tendered. I've helped and I've asked for help.
So when it came time to getting the word about the Step into Your Starring Role program in a wider and broader way, I knew that I would be required to ask for help again. And, I resisted. Because, once again, I bought into the illusion that I'm in this on my own.
Why? For all the same reasons my clients resist, my colleagues resist, YOU resist.
1) We don’t want to be a burden. 2) We are fiercely independent.
Let's unpack that.
We don’t want to be a burden.
Of COURSE we don’t want to be a burden. Nobody wants to be a burden. But when you make an ask of someone, ensuring that it is reasonable, specific, brief, respectful and CLEAR (oh please, let it be clear), then it rests in the hands of the person you’ve asked. They can say yes, if the ask aligns with their time, energy, interest, ability and capacity and they can say no if it doesn’t.
Remember though, that if you’re asking for something that is close to your heart and meaningful, then you’re asking someone who knows that to be true and wants it for you as well. Deeply. In fact, if you’re swinging out with your magnificence in any way, I know that they are thrilled for you. Because it’s an illusion that you are keeping all of that brilliance to yourself.
Others want to play a part. (If their time, energy, interest, ability and capacity allows).
Need a reminder? Just think back to any time someone you deeply cared for needed your help. Did you consider them a burden? Unlikely. You probably discerned if and how you were able to support them, and accordingly said yes, no or made a counter-offer.
You ask, and they answer. It’s a beautiful thing.
We are fiercely independent
Like the toddler who discovers he can stack his blocks all.by.himself, we want to feel free of anyone else’s control. We want to make our own decisions. We don’t want to be beholden.
I came across this yesterday::
"thing is... you need enough ego to act when everyone else says it's impossible, and enough humility to know that once you've made it happen, it wasn't about you." - Jonathan Fields
It’s rarely ever about you. That’s a sort of good news/bad news thing. Forces beyond you, WELL beyond you, are at play. You’ve felt it every time you’ve been lifted by an unseen hand. Angels. Devas. Luck. Stars. Serendipity. Whether you’ve named it or not, you have had those moments when you’ve felt that the universe in conspiring WITH you. It’s called pronoia and it’s the opposite of paranoia. And it’s heeding the call of your ego…which is very very good (in spite of the bad rap the “ego” gets.)
So yeah, it’s an illusion that you're in this all on your own. Because you’re NEVER all on your own.
May as well lean back into the glorious people in your life who want to see you thrive.
Which is what I did.
When there were aspects of the program launch that I didn’t want to do, or scared me, I asked for help. When I needed help spreading word wide and far about the program, I asked.
The support has been swift, stunning and humbling and so very appreciated with much, MUCH more coming over the next two weeks. There have been tweets, likes, shares. Every last one sweet like a kiss.
And these gifts of heart:
Erin, Amy, and Tania let me share their Step into Your Starring Role experience.
Tara Gentile took the lead in conceptualizing and creating the stunning sales page and has been a steadfast partner, friend, and collaborator, for whom I am deeply grateful.
Jen Louden and I had a fabulous conversation about the imposter complex and the pain of waiting.
Lauren Bacon wrote a post heralding this program and my work with the imposter complex that brought tears to my eyes (and included one of the most heartfelt disclosures about affiliate partnerships that I’ve seen.)
Chris Francoeur (brilliant coach, former participant, and I’m excited to share, the ASSISTANT for the program) spoke of the life-changing and EXPANSIVE impact of the program.
Ronna Detrick and I spoke about the spotlight, shining and what the soul wants. So good.
Erin Giles reminds you about the game-changing work you're up to in the world. And how Step into Your Starring Role helped her with hers.
Jackie Dumaine and I spoke about asteya and how NOT stepping into your starring role is actually a form of stealing as part of her Yoga Code Free Virtual Conference (our conversation is live TODAY).
And TOMORROW, brilliant light Annika Martins and I are doing a live call about Stepping Into Your Spiritual Authority. Being the star of your spiritual life - the queen of the castle of your heart. If you've been hiding or minimizing your spiritual beliefs (WHATEVER they may be) in order to make other people feel comfortable or to avoid judgement, this call is for you. Click HERE to sign up.
Yeah. It’s an illusion that I have to go this alone. It’s an illusion that YOU have to go this alone. (Tweet)
So…just ask. You’ll just may find the road traveled will better, smarter, easier, more pleasurable and far, FAR more joyful. In fact, you may even find yourself utterly blown away by the number of people who really want to see YOU step into your starring role.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.