Visualize the destination, she says. And so I do. When my home is tidy, I say to myself, there will be room to stretch, and I’ll eat better, and I’ll be thinner, and I’ll do breast massage, and I’ll be healthier, and my business will flourish even more, and we’ll travel more, and I’ll be better…at everything, and he’ll love me more, and they’ll love me more and I’ll love me more and even if they all stop loving me more, I’ll still love me more and then I’ll never be lonely. Or unloved.

So yeah, I think I can pitch that vase.

You’re the impeccable housewife, the diligent housemaid, she says. You seek a spotless emotional realm. (God, how did she get so smart? I make a note to add “I’ll be smart” to my list of outcomes when my house is tidy.)

She’s right. Of course. I tidy and scrub my metaphorical house with joy, until it gleams with great swaths of sunshine. I sit back, Instagram it, and toast myself for a job well-done, a life well-lived. Until I spy a dirty smudge of sadness and apply a hefty dose of reframing onto a rag of tenacity and scrub ‘til my arm can scrub no more.

A gleaming psyche that sniffs of zesty lemony freshness in the most satisfying way is what I want, to be sure.

The problem, of course, is that I am not alone in my emotional house. Someone always shows up with muddy boots…and I let them in. (I make a note to add “I’ll stop being a people pleaser” to my list of outcomes of a tidy home.)

So my house never stays clean. There will always be the scuffs and smears and drips and wrinkles of life going on. It will never.EVER.be.clean.

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Sort by category, not by location, she says.

Oh…so this is why things are chronically untidy. I’ve been sorting by location my whole life…so all the shit in the same category gets moved from one room to the next.

Things I thought I dealt with already in one bathroom are repeated in the next.

Didn’t I already pitch a water glass? No, that was in the upstairs bathroom.

What I was supposed to do was an entire house sweep for all glasses, then gather them all.

From every room, every closet, every box, every corner. Pull them all out, out, out.

All.

Survey the pile. Then pitch the glasses that no longer bring me joy.

Then all the clothes. From every room, every closet, every box, every corner. Pull them out, out, out.

All.

Survey the pile. Then pitch the clothes that no longer bring me joy.

Then all the magazines. Then all the books. Then all the knick-knacks. Then all the toys. Then all the mementos.

From every room, every closet, every box, every corner. Pull them out, out, out. Survey the piles. Pitch from there. Pitching all that no longer brings me joy.

And then my house will be tidy.

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Thoughts I thought I dealt with already in one area of my heart are repeated in the next. Didn’t I already pitch by belief of notenoughness in my business? No, that was in my parenting.

What I was supposed to do was an entire emotional realm sweep for all notenoughnesses, then gather them all.

From every room, every closet, every box, every corner. Pull them all out, out, out.

All.

Survey the pile. Then pitch the notenoughnesses that no longer serves my joy.

Then all the fear. Then all the anger. Then all the betrayal. Then all the frustrations. Then all the disappointments.

And then my emotional house will be tidy.

When my house is tidy, there will be room to stretch, and I’ll eat better, and I’ll be thinner, and I’ll do breast massage, and I’ll be healthier, and my business will flourish even more, and we’ll travel more, and I’ll be better…at everything, and he’ll love me more, and they’ll love me more and I’ll love me more and even if they all stop loving me more, I’ll still love me more and then I’ll never be lonely. Or unloved.

So yeah, I think I can pitch that belief.

And then everything will gleam. Until someone walks in with muddy boots.

Really, though: what SHALL I make for dinner?

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

Dearest L – It’s your eleventh birthday. You’ve said this is a dreamy age. Over the pressure of double digits,  not yet a teen, still a kid. You’re happy about that.

For your eighth, I made some wishes upon your sweet head.

For your ninth, I offered you a well of wisdom to drink from.

For your tenth, I asked our friends to help you see the power of YOUR wishes.

For your eleventh, I simply wanted to share the you that I see.

It’s the morning after your Terrific, Happy-ful, So Good, Very Rad birthday party. Last night, we took you and your friends on the subway to an artisanal pizzeria. You laughed like maniacs and delighted in the crazy. (We did too.) You came home and chased the cats, pummeled each other with balloons. Instead of the custom cakes I’ve been making you for years, you requested a sundae bar. You then watched a movie and judging by the look of the basement carpet, got into a popcorn fight that everybody won. You and your friends whispergiggled far too late into the night.

In this moment, you’re still downstairs. You’ve slept 6.5 hours and are currently playing Would You Rather. Debates are raging over who would rather sport a beard of licorice over an afro of crazy straw.

If I had a quarter for every time I heard one of you said fart, I suspect that trip to Europe we’ve been planning would be imminent.

So the you I see is silly, yes.

And thoughtful. You, the girl who brings $5 to the bake sale and comes home with $4 worth of meringues for me, a chocolate cupcake for your father (that sat on your desk all day, tormenting you), and gave 25 cents each to two friends who didn’t have cash. You had a sugar cookie. A burnt one. You don’t like sugar cookies.

And encouraging. Only you could get Daddy to write. He listens to you.

And wise. You remind me always that we have always this moment, when I find myself melancholy about the swift passage of time.

Yes, eleven is pretty dreamy. And though you never like talking about this,  we can’t deny that your beautiful body is beautifully changing. That’s its job.

I love that you are starting to deepen into the wisdom that it holds. Though you find it perplexing, may I offer you this: don’t try to figure it out. Don’t fight it. Just listen to your body.

Because there will be times, my Darling, that you’ll think you’re supposed to do this. Think that. Say this. Be that. You will try to fit in.

But if you get really quiet, and really listen, you will hear your soul speaking through your body. Ask her what she knows.

And then you will know what you’re supposed to do. Think. Say. Be.

When things feel tough, really tough, ask her what she knows. And hear her whisper: it won’t last, sweet one.

When you wonder what you should wear, hear her whisper: that which makes you feel like you, honey cakes.

When you don’t think you know what to say, hear her whisper: the truth, angel love. Always the truth.

And when you want to express thanks for her wisdom and guidance and ask her what she wants from you, honour her when she says: don’t make anything more important than me.

Please don’t. Don’t make anything more important than honouring your soul. My friend Julie taught me that. And now I’m teaching you.

Can you promise me that?

I’ve got a breakfast to make and a scavenger hunt to organize and a badminton net to set up. So here's what's left to say:

You make me laugh. You make me think. You make me appreciate. You make me crazy. You make me so unfathomably happy to be alive it hurts my heart. In the best possible way.

You are eleven. You are love.

xx/Mama.

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Navigating the tenderness and magnificence of this age is no small feat and it's for this reason that I am so excited to be speaking at G Day Toronto on April 26th. A day of empowerment and celebration for girls (and their champions). How wonderful is that?

Tear off the mask; your face is glorious. ~ Rumi

I could have called this post “The number one reason you don’t need Step into Your Starring Role”, but I prefer “You already know how to do this.”

Because it’s the stone-cold truth of it.

You already know how to do this.

This business of stepping into your starring role. You already know how to do it.

It’s deep down, kept under lock and key in your heart. But it’s there. When you read my words and feel their resonance, that’s simply a recognition of the truth that lives there.

My ego doesn’t want you to know that…but I’ve learned to challenge what it wants. It’s a dance.

My ego wants to rattle cages and tell you that you HAVE to join my Your Impeccable Impact program. That it’s the only path towards your soul’s salvation. That nothing else in the world will lead you to activating the desires of your being. That you must sign up now, now, now, now or else your chance is gone, gone, gone, gone.

But that’s bullshit.

Yes. I can see your capacity with startling clarity. (It’s an honour.) And yes the content that I share in the program is rock-solid and proven. And yes, the container of the program is exquisite. And yes, the calls are incredible.

But I never (ever) want to create fear-based panic. (Ever.) I do not want to engender a sense that this program will fix you. (Can’t fix what ain’t broke.) Or that you are lacking. (Oh sweet merciful heavens, no.)

But.

If you feel like this work will expand you in the best possible way; If you feel like I am the right guide; If you feel like the factors the brilliant Bari Tessler laid out in this epic post are honoured; If it feels aligned with your Brand of Joy; AND, If it feels like the most loving and TRUE PATH for you…

…then sign up.

If not, don’t.

Whether you do Step into Your Starring Role or not, you will continue to be the startlingly beautiful, brilliant, radiant, essential, irreplaceable YOU that you have ever been. Sacred.

We just want to see you without your mask.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

Step Into Your Starring Role just launched on Monday. For me, it’s a big, big deal.

And like any big, big deal project, it was not undertaken lightly. I did the research, planned and crafted. I know the kinds of women who I’m hoping will rise up and step into this work. And I’m ALSO running a business, so in truth, I have some ideas about how MANY I hope will show up.

And? I’ll celebrate the group when they have gathered. Nomaddahowmany.

For the moment, however, I am required to celebrate the work and effort that has gone into THE LAUNCH. Marketing and sales are my least favourite aspects of running my business. I’ve made the launch as aligned with my Brand of Joy as possible and it’s been no small feat. It’s taken many hands, hours, decisions and dollars.

So I’m celebrating it all by leaving the country for a week with my family and friends.

An unorthodox time to be leaving, for sure. Of course it would be wiser to stay during the registration period, non? Surely celebrating hitting my sales target (ugh) at the END of the registration period is smarter, non?

Non.

Because I’m also cooked. Stretched out and tired and weary, like at the end of a particularly long yoga practice. Ready for savasana.

I also want to be fresh and ready for this new group of women who have started to gather for the program. They deserve my best. They will GET my best.

Instead of fretting about outcomes and numbers and all the things we shoulda coulda woulda done, I’m calling it a day (or, rather, a week) and rejoicing on what WAS done. (So, so much.)

I’m a big, big fan of celebration.

Tracking wins. Acknowledging the hard work. Putting a ribbon on a job well done. Synthesizing the learnings. Conditioning us for more (when we’re good ‘n rested ‘n ready.)

It’s so important to me that I’ve devoted an entire module to the art of celebration in the Step into Your Starring Role program…because while celebration seems like it’s SUPPOSED to be fun, it’s also incredibly hard for us to find our way to it.

“If you ask me what’s the most terrifying, difficult emotion we feel as humans,” she says, “I would say joy.” – Brené Brown

Could be, Brené. Could be. And I think one of the most challenging, difficult things we do as humans, is to celebrate.

Have I done enough to warrant celebration? Won’t I jinx my efforts? Who has time to celebrate? It’s gauche to celebrate my efforts. It’s called “work”, not “play”.

But this much I’ve learned:

Scheduling celebration as integration time isn’t selfish. It’s strategic.

So, back to my Step into Your Starring Role program.

My brilliant team will be handling any inquiries and I will be in touch with them some. That is, when I’m not teaching my girl how to snorkel, or having her teach me archery (the only target I’ll have my eye on.)

I’m celebrating my yes’s, my no’s, the zigs and the zags.

And I’ll be opening my heart and arms up to the women who will decide if this is the work they are being called to do. I’ll just be doing it from the beach rather than my desk.

Over to you. Which of your yes’s, your no’s, your zigs and your zags want to be celebrated today?

+++

The leader in you wants to be seen. Click here to shine.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

What if you trip and fall? You might. What if you get to the top and find out you’ve been climbing the wrong mountain? It happens. What if the expectations at the top are more than you envisioned? Could be. What if people are resistant to your ascent? Also possible.

Those are good questions. Sane questions. RESPONSIBLE questions.

They’ve kept you safe and that’s a good thing.

But I’ve got some other questions to ask you.

How much longer are you willing to wait? When does it get to be your time? When will you be ready enough to meet your desires?

Above all:

Given your drive to strive, your value of excellence and mastery, how can you NOT step up?

To be certain, the climb is high.

There will be twists and turns. (It’s part of the terrain.)

You will fall and you will rip your pants. (You will get new ones.) Along the way, you’ll meet naysayers. (And you’ll meet some yaysayers.) You will question, you will calibrate, you will course-correct. (That’s your job.) You will get tired. (Nap.)

You will amaze yourself and dazzle your soul and your heart will burst open and you will know, once and for all what emergent magnificence you are truly made of.

You will finally see what we’ve been seeing all along.

You will be changed for the experience. And you will never, ever look back.

Step up.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.