In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Dr Michelle Mazur

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Dr Michelle Mazur (like lazer). Michelle Mazur, Ph.D. delivers audacious breakthroughs for speakers who want to stand out, be the best-in-class in their field, and position themselves in a category of one. She is the CEO of Communication Rebel and the author of Speak Up for Your Business. The speakers she works with have gone on to book speaking gigs across the United States, raise 3x the amount of money expected for the launch of a charity, and speak in front of world leaders and First Ladies. She lives in Seattle, WA with her adoring husband, 2 obsessive felines, and a huge collection of Duran Duran memorabilia.


WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • The intersection between speaking and the Impostor Complex
  • How Michelle feels the IC when speaking even with (especially with) a PhD
  • The balance between structure and flow
  • Facing the lie of “I have nothing to say.”
  • The gap between dipping your toes in and diving in
  • Going on an information detox
  • The barriers people put in place to keep from taking the plunge
  • What people are afraid of when it comes to speaking

MICHELLE SAID//

  • Speaking is like riding a bike. You’re going to fall off, but it’s about learning something and getting back on.
  • There can be diminishing returns when it becomes about how great you are more than the audience experience.
  • There’s a lot of noise out there and if you’re really listening, you will stop yourself from saying what you need to say.
  • If someone is already talking about it, it’s great because it means it needs to be talked about. It just needs your unique spin.
  • The way to lead in your work: realize you do have something to say.
  • It’s time for you to hear your own voice so you can bring out what’s unique about you.
  • It’s an identity change when you fully decide to step into the role of Speaker.
  • It starts with one step not being on stage in front of 1,000 people.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out to make it happen. You just have to put a little skin in the game.
  • On pitching: Figure out what they need, wrap your solution around it

TANYA SAID//

  • When we focus so much on the audience experience we lose the honey of what we are there to talk about and deliver.
  • We want to stand on the shoulders of our leaders and give them attribution, but we should look at their work as a springboard.
  • The velocity has come from work that has been done by people before us.
  • Under the false equivalencies is really fear.
  • Trust the intelligence in the room

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:



Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

We’ll take your questions and bring our best answers. It’s part coaching, part exploration, part Q+A, all delicious.

It is hosted on Crowdcast and simulcast to Facebook Live.

I don't believe people when they say they don't experience the Impostor Complex

When they say they don’t experience the Impostor Complex, I hafta ask: Why not?

I’ve got some bad news for you.
But stay with me.
Because I also have some good news.

But first, the bad news.

Just like grief that comes along and trips you up when you least expect it, the Impostor Complex too is like a wrinkle in the (red) carpet.

No matter how much work you’ve done.
No matter how evolved you are.

When you set out to do something big and new and exciting and important, you WILL wonder: “damn...why am I coming up against this NOW? I thought I had this stuff figured out and in the bag.

Because we never really figure it out.
Not fully, in any case.
Because it mutates.
It adapts, shape-shifts, and it grows new heads.

Every time you step UP. We overcome it to be certain, but we don’t ever fully close the gap.

So, for instance, YES, you overcame your Impostor Complex when you took that stage.
But that doesn’t mean it won’t show up when you are asked to headline the conference.

Sure, you worked the three key strategies I speak of to overcome the IC (you met the critics, bolstered your authority thesis and assembled the cast) and found your way to accepting the new role of leading the team. 
But rest assured, when you’re asked to lead SEVERAL teams, it’s going to re-present.

And of course, you got past the IC when you managed to self-publish that book.
But when the agent comes a-calling, so too will the IC.

Deep breath. I’m just here to remind you that you’re feeling wobbly because you’ve never been HERE before.

“Successful people don’t experience this’ is actually lie #2 of the Impostor Complex.

It’s a lie we buy into because we hope it’s a truth that will eventually apply to us. When we have reached a certain pinnacle, this shit will be behind us.

Nuh-uh.

Same shit, higher hill.

With higher stakes.
Which is good and tricky, all à la fois.

But that promised good news: awareness brings about a faster recovery.

Just remember every time you felt this...what were you on the precipice of? Pressing publish? Leaving the job? Closing shop? Charging THAT price? Saying the hard truth?

Felt scary. Felt hard.
It mattered.
 
Okay?
OKAY.

I repeat: it MATTERED. So when someone tells me that they don’t ever experience the Impostor Complex anymore, I ask them this.

Why not?

Not why not as in ‘let me drink from your fount of enlightenment’. But rather, why not, as in ‘why have you stopped taking risks?’ ‘Why have you stopped doing the work that matters?’ ‘Why have you stopped looking down the barrel of your potential?’

There’s only room on the red carpet for those of us doing the work. Yes, we’ll be tripping along the way. But land sakes, will we look fine. 

All love,
Tanya


PS - Speaking of speaking (and the Impostor Complex), the Founder of the Communication Rebel, Dr Michelle Mazur is joining me In the Spotlight TODAY at 2p EST. Join us here with your questions. 
 

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Staci Jordan Shelton

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Staci J. Shelton. Staci is a performance consultant and fiber artist. She is passionate about people, process, and creativity…and knitting. Dissonance and liminal spaces are her playgrounds of possibility. Her work is helping leaders resolve inner dissonance productively so that they can work harmoniously and achieve better outcomes.


WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • What is Unraveling?
  • The intersection between the Impostor Complex and Unraveling
  • Unraveling and internalized oppression
  • Portable Peace
  • Staci’s metaphor of knitting and life
  • What to let go, what to keep, how far to go back?
  • Staci’s Unraveling method
  • The distinction between self-doubt and the Impostor Complex
  • How to know when you are ready for unraveling
  • Positive declarations of worthiness

Staci SAID//

  • People aren’t broken, systems are.
  • I can’t always change the system, but I can absolutely help some people unravel that stuff, change the narrative, take some risks and get free.
  • Is it really true, or is it just something that you’ve taken on and adopted as your truth?
  • The fear: If I let it go, am I going to be sorry that I unraveled this?
  • What version of the “not good enough” myth are you living?
  • Before the truth can set you free you have to realize what lies are holding you hostage.
  • Unraveling starts with noticing.
  • I start to notice where my fight or flight kicks in and that’s always a good place to start [unraveling].
  • I don’t believe anyone comes here unworthy, I think we take on unworthiness.
  • I call my inner critic my inner terrorist, and I don’t negotiate with terrorists!

TANYA SAID//

  • It’s always a good day to unravel
  • Unraveling isn’t a method or a pattern, it’s an organic process.
  • With unraveling we go gently.

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:


Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients, particularly as it relates to the Impostor Complex. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?) 

We’ll take your questions and bring our best answers. It’s part coaching, part exploration, part Q+A, all delicious.

It is hosted on Crowdcast and simulcast to Facebook Live.

“Moderate Your Voice”

When I was an infant, I had a fever of 106. AFTER aspirin. AFTER an ice bath. 

106 degrees.
 
I, of course, remember none of it.
 
What I do remember is being told by my beloved mother, over and over and over and over and over again to “moderate my voice”. Especially in public. (Only in public? Yes, I think that’s so.)
 
You see, when the fever left me, it fought its way through my vocal chords and wreaked havoc there for years to come. My voice became forced, scratchy and whiney all at once. (A little like I imagine Owen Meany’s would sound, now that I think of it.) And when excited, it would become especially forced, scratchy and whiney.

“Moderate your voice” became something of an anthem.

A Pavlovian response to a child’s excitability.
 
Moderate your voice – so as not to disturb anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to alarm anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to offend anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to drive anyone away.

 
Because people leave a scene, you know.
 
At first, it was near impossible. I thought moderating my voice meant whispering. But what I saw around me deserved more than a whisper. And then I thought it meant not speaking, but drawing instead. But what I saw around me happened faster than my colouring pencils could dance.
 
Over time, I learned to do the impossible. To moderate my voice. To tuck my chin into my neck and to consciously calm and quiet my vocal chords.
 
And I suspect my mother was relieved. Now no one outside the family would be disturbed, alarmed, offended or driven away.
 
Let me be clear. She adored me. With all she had. With the force of a thousand suns, she loved me. I couldn’t sing loud enough, or laugh hard enough, or talk ENOUGH enough for her. But outside the walls of our home…that’s where the dangers lurked. Because that had been her conditioning. That had been her experience.
 
Having me moderate my voice was one more way to keep me safe. Unmocked, unnoticed and out of the crosshairs.
 
But, if I was to set the world on fire, as she prophesied, I recognized somewhere along the line that I would be required to amplify my voice. To risk disturbing, alarming, offending and driving people away. To risk being left.
 
And so I did. I unlearned and then I newly learned. What I discovered was, as you can guess, quite the opposite. Well, let me rephrase that.

Some people left, yes. But more people, my RIGHT people CAME.

I’m not gonna lie. Amplifying your voice is no small bit of work. 
 
But before you can do that even, you will need to stop moderating your voice. You will need to stop diminishing. You will need to stop equivocating. And you will need to stop apologizing. It’s also no small bit of work. But your people are waiting.
 
PS - Join me and Michelle Mazur on Tuesday May 25th for a free one-hour webinar called Defy Diminishment - part four of my six part series on Untying the Binds of the Impostor Complex.
 

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Ronna Detrick

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Ronna Detrick. This week's guest is Ronna Detrick. Ronna Detrick reconnects us with the sacred that exists all around us and especially within. She is a writer, a speaker, and a coach/Spiritual Director. She has been blogging for more than ten years, offering online products and courses for eight, and having rich, sacred, and provocative conversations longer than both of these combined. She has done a TEDx talk on Eve, creates and offers free weekly NotesFromHer, has an App called Sacred Muse, and offers SacredReadings, sort-of like Tarot, but with the ancient, sacred stories of women she so loves. She has most recently created a new offering called SacredWriting for writers, journalers, everyone! In the midst of all this, she drinks too much coffee, toasts “being enough” with champagne on Fridays, and is beyond proud to be the mom of the two most amazing daughters in the entire world.


WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • What is Sacred Writing?
  • The fear of being seen and heard.
  • A deeper experience of your own writing.
  • Opening yourself up to feedback
  • Ronna’s daily writing practice
  • The intersection between writing and the Impostor Complex
  • The know that you know, that you know voice inside.
  • How do we learn to listen to that still small voice inside?
  • The process of Sacred Writing
  • The one thing you can do today for your writing to be more sacred.

RONNA SAID//

  • When we step into self-reflective processes, when we have practices and disciplines and ways in which we can explore our very selves- that is the Sacred.
  • No matter what you do or how you write (in that space) it’s Sacred Writing.
  • When we’re seen and heard, everything changes. And that really scared us.
  • Other people can see what we can’t.
  • We say really smart things to other people that we can’t say to ourselves.
  • There are threads of the Sacred all over the place in everything that happens, that if I'm curious enough about and kind enough about I will learn something new and be drawn into a deeper place of wisdom.
  • The process of writing moves me to clarity and much less concern about what people think.

TANYA SAID//

  • My writing becomes sacred after it goes through this process.
  • When writing Sacred, it becomes truer. Not better.
  • We get a lot of input when we open ourselves up to it.
  • Just because someone else sees something in your writing doesn’t make it YOUR truth. It’s A truth.
  • Write through it.
  • It’s big because it matters.
  • What makes it sacred is seeing it and the truth.

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:

FIND RONNA:


Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

We’ll take your questions and bring our best answers. It’s part coaching, part exploration, part Q+A, all delicious.

It is hosted on Crowdcast and simulcast to Facebook Live.