In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Ricardo McRae

Ricardo  is committed to creativity and commerce working together. Today, he’s bringing creativity to life as the Host of The Framing Podcast on iTunes, and helping families across Canada as a licensed Financial Advisor. Prior his most recent endeavours, Ricardo was the Creative Director of a boutique consultancy, Wedge15 and the Creator of BlackInCanada.com - Canada’s leading source on Black Excellence reaching over 1M people in 100 countries with 30K+ fans and followers. He studied Fine Arts and Business at the University of Windsor and the Ontario College of Art and Design before acquiring his Project Management designation and becoming an award winning entrepreneur and TEDx speaker.

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring The Tarot Lady, Theresa Reed

This week's guest Theresa Reed (aka “The Tarot Lady”) has been a full-time Tarot card reader for close to 30 years. She is the author of The Tarot Coloring Book, an illustrated tour through the world of Tarot with coloring sheets for every card in the deck. In addition to doing private Tarot readings, teaching Tarot classes, and speaking at Tarot conferences, Theresa also runs a popular website—TheTarotLady.com—where she dishes out advice, inspiration and tips for Tarot lovers of all experience levels.

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Celebrate someone’s light like it’s your own.

“To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” - Ben Franklin

Ugh. Groan.

Ohhhh Ben, your misogyny is showing.

But truth is this: As a woman of public profile, most assuredly someone’s going to come after you. And nine times out of ten, it’s a woman.

It.just.is.

And honestly, there are no words that need to be wasted on that nonsense. We know why it happens. (Hey hey patriarchy that tells us there’s only enough room at the top and we all know who that spot is saved for...dudes that look like Ben Franklin.)

We can, and must, do better. We can’t let comparison, envy and hero-worship get in the way any longer. It’s a distraction that is keeping us from changing the mess we’re in.

I’ve written about putting away the scissors before. And I’ve conceded that not EVERYONE wants you to succeed.

But YOUR people do.

And so today, I have some requests of you.

Be someone’s cheerleader.
Be someone’s hoist UP.
Be someone’s presence.
Be someone’s open hand.
Be someone’s wish come true.
Be someone’s radiant mirror.
Be someone’s point of connection.
Be someone’s ear without feeling the need to fix or heal. (Anne Lamott said “help is the sunny side of control.” Huh.)
Be someone’s spotlight on their genius and talents.

And celebrate someone’s light like it’s your own.

Because you know what? It IS.

Don’t believe me? Well, it’s true – even if you can’t see it.


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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Lena West

This week’s guest is Lena West. Lena is the leading expert on how women entrepreneurs can successfully and sanely grow a business on their own terms. She is also the Founder of Crescent: The Mastermind Experience, the only business growth mastermind program created specifically for women entrepreneurs over 40 and CEO DNA, a custom methodology for helping entrepreneurs determine their most effective business model based on personality, values, strengths, and other self-knowledge factors.

Are you sure?

One month ago today, I made a decision to engage in a thought experiment of sorts.
 
I decided that I would no longer ask the question:  “Are you sure?”
 
Are you sure you don’t want me to buy a watermelon?
Are you sure you don’t want me to shift around some calls and take you to the appointment?
Are you sure you only want to charge me that amount?

 
Because here’s what I had started to notice. 
As I was asking the question “are you sure” I had started to discern varying degrees of hope that  the answer would be “Yes, I’m sure.” 
 
Because when I would get really really brutally honest with myself, the truth was:
 
I didn’t want to buy the watermelon that would sit uneaten on the counter attracting fruit flies.
I didn’t want to reschedule my calls.
I didn’t want to pay more than was initially requested.
 

Now...as always, there are exceptions. And the exception is this: If you really want it, I will do my best to make it happen.
 
You want that watermelon? It’s yours. 
Me taking you to the appointment will bring ease to your life? I’ll be there fifteen minutes early.
You’re aware that you’ve been undercharging and are ready to make it right? I’m here for paying what’s fair.
 
But if I have to talk you into something I’m not really feeling?
Well, that’s resentment just waiting to happen, isn’t it?
 
Yes indeed.
 
“Are you sure?” was becoming the refrain of the martyr.
 
When I started to get curious about why I had been asking, for OH-SO-LONG if people were sure they didn’t want xyz, I also noticed that there was something else here too.
Arrogance in a presumption that I know better.
Clearly you are not hearing me and clearly I know better so how about you reconsider your response.
 
For one month, I’ve not asked “Are you sure?”
 
And here’s what I’ve noticed:

  • My social contracts have become cleaner and clearer and far more efficient. You say you want this. I say I want that. Let’s meet in the middle. 
  • Now when I make someone an offer, I know I need to be sure it’s pure and true. 
  • People are learning to take me me up on what I offer right away, striking while the opportunity knocks, knowing I won’t ask twice.
  • If the door has closed on the offer I made, they have the agency to come back and ask for it. And I will respond as is appropriate to me and the new circumstances. 

 Clean. Clear. Done.
 
And best of all, I’m noticing people around me are also shelving “Are you sure?” suspending the ever-prolonged dance of the polite. Especially my daughter. In one scant month, I can see her giving much more thought to making offers and receiving offers. The equivocating and qualifying and apologizing has been scaled wayyyyy back.
 
Win.
 
I invite you to shelve “Are you sure?” too. Try it for a month. See just how better your own social contracts feel.