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The Trailblazer Phenomenon™: Why the Language of 'Complex' No Longer Fits
"Mi nombre es Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, y si hoy estoy aquí en el Super Bowl 60 es porque nunca, nunca dejé de creer en mí. Tú también deberías de creer en ti. Vales más de lo que piensas, créeme."
"My name is Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, and if I'm here today at Super Bowl 60, it's because I never, ever stopped believing in myself. You should also believe in yourself. You're worth more than you think, trust me."
When Bad Bunny spoke those words on one of the world's largest stages last week, he introduced himself by his full name. He carried language, culture, gender expression, and national pride into a space that has rarely centered voices like his. He was unapologetic in his fabulosity and did not contort himself into something many said would be easier to digest.
The halftime show was a masterclass in resistance, joy, and meaning. I learned. I was moved. I felt hope.
And then Monday morning came.
The commentary arrived right on schedule. He went too far. He didn't go far enough. And I'm not just talking about the predictable camps demanding he "speak English"—I'm talking about fractures that appeared even within communities that had previously supported him.
An ever-present reminder for all Trailblazers: you will be too much for some people and not enough for others, with a world that sits in between.
Some may say it’s a hard world to navigate, but for me, I see it as a very wide sweet spot. A chasm of possibility, really.
For years, I've worked with leaders experiencing Imposter Complex at inflection points in their leadership—and then evolved that language to the Trailblazer's Complex. That reframing mattered. It shifted the focus from "what's wrong with you" to "what are you courageously building."
(Side bar for those tracking the evolution of language: I’ve written extensively about why “Imposter Syndrome” misses the mark in favour of “Imposter Complex.” “Syndrome” pathologizes the experience. But even “complex” still implies dysfunction—something to fix. So I’m upleveling it.)
And I’ve known, and taught, all along that it was never any of those things. That the self-doubt that arose at the precipice of expansion wasn’t proof that you shouldn’t be doing it, but rather a predictable experience that arises when you lead in places without precedent.
Enter: The Trailblazer Phenomenon™.
The Distinction That Changes Everything
All people who experience Imposter Complex are Trailblazers. But not all Trailblazers experience Imposter Complex.
Some leaders—like Martha Stewart, who has publicly dismissed experiencing Imposter Syndrome (and I had many thoughts about it that I wrote here)—move through scrutiny and innovation seemingly without internalizing doubt. Her response makes sense here, because whether doubt surfaces for her or not, the terrain remains.
The Trailblazer Phenomenon™ describes that terrain—the full landscape of what happens when you're First, Only, or Different (F.O.D.). When your identity, approach, or vision doesn't fit established norms. When you're building without a template.
Which means the focus shifts from "what's wrong" to include the conditions shaping the experience.
Misunderstood Brilliance
Your ideas are filtered through bias, projection, and unfamiliarity. You can be admired and misread in the same moment, celebrated for your outcomes while quietly resisted for your process.
We’ve seen time and again that brilliance ahead of its time looks disruptive before it looks visionary.
And when that brilliance comes in a body or identity that's been historically underestimated, the distortion intensifies.
The Visibility Tax
For many Trailblazers, you're not just leading—you're representing. Your success gets treated as exceptional, an anomaly rather than evidence of competence. Which unfortunatly means that your mistakes carry disproportionate weight. The margin for error narrows as influence expands.
Ever heard: “heavy is the head that carries the crown?” THAT.
Take Gu Ailing at the Olympics.
At just 22, she became the most decorated female freestyle skier in history. And still, at a press conference, a reporter asked whether she considered her two silver medals “two silvers gained or two golds lost.”
Her response was immediate and grounded:
“I’m the most decorated female freeskier in history. I think that’s an answer in and of itself… I’m showcasing my best skiing. I’m doing things that quite literally have never been done before. And so I think that is more than good enough.”
More than good enough.
Her record stands. Her pride is earned. And yet the question lingers.
With every rung of success, the spotlight intensifies. The achievement expands. So do the expectations.
That is the Visibility Tax.
The Blueprint Void
There's no template for what you're building—at least not by someone like you. You're designing the architecture while inhabiting it, writing the playbook as you work out the steps, and to round out the metaphors: building the airplane in the sky.
All the while being measured against it, expanding categories that didn't previously include you.
Creation under those conditions generates both exhilaration and isolation.
And to work in this space demands grit and stamina. Good thing you've got both in spades.
Environmental Obstacles
The very landscape the Trailblazer navigates isn’t just unmapped…it’s literally resistance.
Some of what you encounter is structural friction — systems calibrated to reward what already looks familiar. Funding models that privilege pattern recognition. Leadership archetypes shaped long before you arrived. Informal rooms where decisions are made and you are the First, the Only, or the Different presence at the table.
And sometimes it is less institutional and more intimate. You may be the first in your family to start a business. The first to step into the arts without a safety net. The first to choose a path that doesn’t resemble anything you inherited. There is no template on the kitchen table. No one to show you the hidden levers. You are building while learning how building works.
You did not design those conditions. And they still require energy to move through.
Then there are moments of deliberate resistance. Gatekeeping. Dismissal. Exclusion. Individuals or institutions invested in preserving the status quo because your presence stretches it.
Not every barrier is malicious. Also true: not every barrier is accidental.
But what matters is that the terrain is real.
When you are blazing a trail, you are not simply building something new. You are navigating conditions that were not originally designed with you in mind. That reality demands strategy, stamina, and discernment.
Understanding the terrain does not remove it, but it does restore perspective.
And perspective protects your agency.
Imposter Complex
Since 2012, my work has centred on understanding and helping leaders navigate Imposter Complex — across articles, keynotes, workshops, and coaching rooms. I have studied its behavioural traits, its protective strategies, and the way it activates precisely at the edge of expansion.
That body of work stands.
What has evolved is the container.
Imposter Complex rarely operates in isolation. It emerges inside specific conditions: heightened scrutiny, limited precedent, the weight of representation, and the structural terrain just described.
If we call this “just” Imposter Complex, the burden stays entirely inside the individual. You are left to mindset your way through conditions that are not imaginary.
But when we name the Trailblazer Phenomenon™, we widen the frame.
Within that wider frame, the internal activation makes sense. It is not proof that you are unqualified. It often signals proximity to something that matters deeply.
And just how deeply you want it.
Some Trailblazers feel that activation intensely. Others move forward with remarkable steadiness.
Both are navigating the same terrain.
Which brings us to the question that always follows:
Why Blaze Trails At All?
Because we are called to do so.
Because the world is beautiful — but in desperate need of improvement.
Because everything we say we want — equity, creativity, innovation, representation — lives on the other side of resistance.
Because progress has never been powered by compliance.
Because on the other side of trailblazing lives the kind of joy and brilliance we witnessed on that Super Bowl stage.
Those of us who felt that shift will never un-feel it. We will not forget the pride, the audacity, the full-bodied presence of someone refusing to shrink.
And as we’ve seen with Bad Bunny and Ailing Gu, there will always be “too much” and “not enough.”
Even excellence is critiqued. Even history-making performance is second-guessed.
Scrutiny is not the exception. It is part of visibility.
So if the scrutiny is coming either way, you might as well build the thing that needs to exist.
I believe, with everything I know and am, that fortune bends in favour of those who believe in a future that doesn’t exist yet — and then work to make it happen.
You are not navigating this terrain because you enjoy difficulty. You are here because you can imagine something that is not yet here. For you. For us. For what comes next.
You are reclaiming language that once misnamed you.
The world does not need more people colouring within inherited lines.
It needs your voice.
Your lineage.
Your story.
Your lived experience.
Your magnetic contradictions.
Your fire.
Your care.
Your presence.
The resistance is just part of the gig.
And the gig is so much more than worth it.
But calling is not enough. Trailblazers who become icons develop footing.
From Trailblazer to Icon: The ICONIC Framework™
If this is the terrain, coherence becomes non-negotiable.
Over more than a decade of studying and teaching on Imposter Complex, I’ve observed a clear pattern. Some Trailblazers move through scrutiny, friction, visibility, and expansion without fragmenting. They still feel the stretch. They still face resistance. They still get misread. What distinguishes them is not ease. It’s integrity of self.
There is a structure beneath that steadiness.
I call it the ICONIC Framework™.
I — Identity
Every icon makes the internal move long before the culture catches up.
The irony is that Trailblazers often judge the very patterns that signal that move is already underway. Perfectionism. Comparison. Procrastination. People-pleasing. Diminishment. What gets labelled as weakness frequently carries a golden shadow: devotion to excellence, humility paired with vision, discernment mistaken for procrastination.
Your leadership edge is rarely something new to acquire. More often, it is something to reinterpret and claim.
Bad Bunny did not step onto that stage wondering whether he belonged there. He stepped onto it in authorship.
Mi nombre es Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio.
Identity first.
You must see yourself as the leader you are before the room confirms it. Visibility without identity destabilizes. Visibility anchored in identity steadies and sharpens. This is the root. Without it, everything wobbles.
C — Confront
The Imposter Complex has always aimed for three outcomes: paralysis, self-doubt, and isolation. It operates through critics — external, inherited, and internalized.
Confronting is not about fighting every voice. It is about discerning what is actually present. Is the objection strategic? Structural? Protective? Fear-based?
When you name the critic accurately, you respond with precision instead of reflex.
O — Optimize
High-achieving leaders routinely forget their proof, largely because the ego prefers striving over arriving.
Optimization is the disciplined remembering of what you have built, delivered, healed, survived, and created despite resistance. It is the gathering of internal evidence before seeking external validation.
When you optimize, you build self-efficacy and you remember your authority…with no need to manufacture it.
N — Network
No one was built to navigate this terrain alone. Icons assemble ecosystems — teachers who shaped them, peers who sharpen them, those rising behind them who they lift as they climb.
Perspective stabilizes inside support.
I — Implement
Also known as “do the work”...also know as “take action”. Because confidence follows action, and not the other way around. Trailblazers move before certainty settles. They iterate, refine, and adjust in motion.
Like I’ve always said: simple, but not easy.
C — Celebrate
And possibly the most resisted step trailblazers? Celebration. But I insist upon it because integration signals completion. Celebration closes a cycle of exertion (and expansion) before the next begins. It’s a capacity builder unlike any other….and icons know it.
Without integration, momentum becomes depletion. With it, growth becomes sustainable.
Why This Evolution Matters
The language of “complex” kept us asking what's wrong with you. The language of “phenomenon” asks what's happening around you. It’s a shift that changes everything.
It situates internal experience within external conditions. It accounts for identity, visibility, innovation, and systemic and structural contexts simultaneously. It holds personal responsibility while acknowledging environmental reality.
Leaders who recognize themselves here often feel something both subtle AND seismic: relief. The relief of context.
If you've felt capable and scrutinized, visionary and questioned, energized and destabilized—your experience makes sense inside this terrain. The ground beneath you may be uneven, but you're still moving forward.
And forward motion, anchored in identity, is how Trailblazers become icons.
I’m here for that.
Twenty-One
Dear Lauren,
I think I’ll forego the annual reference to how fast time is passing us by. (Lord knows I’ve covered that theme well enough in my previous letters for when you turned eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen and twenty.)
Like every year for the last 14 years, I’ve sat at my computer searching for the words that might come close to expressing the depth of my love for you—and the awe I feel in witnessing who you’re becoming.
Time for a famous Geisler/Sarney woman sidebar: Do you know that every time I cut your father’s hair—something I’ve been doing every three weeks since the start of COVID—he always says the same thing after he surveys the results in the mirror? “Well, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say… this is your finest work yet.”
Of course, he’s now said it about 81 times (give or take), so I cut him off after the “well,” but honestly, if I didn’t hear it, I’d feel sad.
I feel the same way writing this letter to you as I have for the past 14 years.
Worried that THIS time, I will have failed to encapulsate or name my absolute and profound love for you. Worried that THIS time you won’t receive a reflection of the you we are fortunate enough to see.
Because being seen, as you know, matters. And I pride myself on reflecting well.
Except when I don’t.
This year, there’s a note of melancholy in this letter. You might feel it around the edges.
To say it’s been a hard year would be reductive.
It’s been brutal.
And the world? It’s rougher than I ever hoped it would be when you opened your eyes on your 21st birthday. News cycles filled with leaders—and those who empower them—disregarding humanity and the planet. Injustices I wish I could shield you from. But I can’t. And I wouldn’t. Because that’s not what you’re here for. And it’s not how we do.
Last night, as we marvelled over the incredible plant-based Japanese steak at Planta (seriously—how do they do that?), and again over molten lava cake in our little corner of the world, you opened up about what’s weighing on your ever-expanding heart.
More than once, I caught my breath.
I pride myself on being attuned to all that you are holding. But this year, it’s been harder to track it all. Mostly because the hits have been coming from every corner.
And when I say I’m proud of you, I mean I am PROUD.
I fail (often) and I get a lot right (often). But your grace for my humanness (and hers, and his and theirs) is what makes you legendary.
And the way you allow yourself to BE with the hard and the disappointment and the fears as WELL as the joys, whatever they may be, well, damn. That’s some quality maturity I didn’t have access to until I was well into my 30’s.
I believe that at your best, you remember your literary crush Walt Whitman’s "I am large, I contain multitudes."
I think you have that on lock as a touchstone to come back to.
So today, I want to offer you a different invitation from Walt Whitman. One that feels right for now:
“I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.”
— Song of Myself
Let’s break it down.
“I celebrate myself.”
Not someday. Not when you’re the perfect version of you feel you are supposed to be. The one who wakes without an alarm and never gets it wrong and always reflects the best and loves the gym and gets the perfect job and loves every part of herself and always says the right thing and always always always chooses to fight the good fight and has the shiniest hair (this one may sound all too familiar).
Not then.
Now.
An invitation to stand tall in your identity, your beauty, your becoming. As you are. Because the fact that you exist is more than reason enough for celebration.
“... and sing myself”
And today? On your 21st birthday? My God. Sing as loud as your lungs will allow.
You won’t be singing alone, mind you. Your voice will be joined by a chorus of friends, family, neighbours, acquaintances and chosen family overjoyed to celebrate the stunning revelation of a human that you are.
(And yeah, you KNOW I’m woo enough to remind you that your and theirs and ours are STILL not the only voices singing. You’ll be hearing in stereo as some beloveds sing from the other side too.)
But my deep desire is that you learn to sing yourself. For when we do get it wrong and drop the ball. Like we have, and like we will.
Sing yourself for your wit and your wonder. For your honesty and your charm. For your non sequiturs and your laser-sharp insight. For your beauty and your righteous rage.
There is oh so much to sing about. Maybe that’s why I found myself breathless last night.
And then notice how Whitman folds you into the universe itself. Every atom that belongs to him, belongs to you too.
Which means—
You are part of everything.
EVERYTHING.
You belong.
You matter.
And your voice—your being—is essential.
Worth celebrating, worth singing.
Remember that.
I love you with all I have, and then some, and then some more.
/Mama
The Masks Always Slip (Good Thing You Don’t Need to Wear One.)
Over the weekend, while recovering from the Norovirus (10/10 do not recommend), I found myself watching two wildly different Netflix productions that somehow spoke the same uncomfortable truth.
One was Apple Cider Vinegar—like its namesake, a bracing look at the wellness industry that may be hard to swallow for some. Compelling enough that I watched the whole series in one sitting (okay, in one laying). The other was Kinda Pregnant with Amy Schumer—sporting a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 19% that some might say is generous… and yet? It was entirely and ridiculously enjoyable, and exactly what my beleaguered brain and body could handle.
The common thread? Fraudulence.
Both played with the idea of someone pretending—convincingly, at first—until, inevitably, the mask slipped. And watching that unravel is deeply uncomfortable. Because we know what’s coming.
Let’s be clear: We are (I trust) not out here faking brain cancer in some Munchausen-fueled scam or donning stolen rubber baby bumps to fake pregnancy.
And yet… that moment. That fear of exposure. That bone-deep "what if they find out?" feeling?
That’s viscerally familiar.
Fraud Watching: Our Favourite Pastime
The downfall of a fraudster has become appointment viewing.
From The Dropout (Elizabeth Holmes’ Theranos scandal) to Inventing Anna (Anna Delvey’s con artistry in designer clothes and a truly baffling accent), to Fyre: The Greatest Party That Never Happened (Billy McFarland’s Instagram-fueled festival scam that left influencers stranded with cheese sandwiches)—we can’t look away as these so-called visionaries get exposed for the frauds they always were.
Our own schadenfreude kicks in as we watch them delude, deceive, and ultimately destroy themselves.
Because we’re not them.
And yet?
We still fear being “found out,” in spite of what the evidence shows.
The Imposter Complex Has You Bracing for a Reckoning That’s Never Coming
You’re not faking. You’re not playing pretend. You’re not conning anyone.
But the Imposter Complex would have you believe otherwise. It’s waiting for the moment you slip up, certain that someone—anyone—will finally expose you for the fraud you secretly suspect you are.
And yet.
Check the receipts.
You earned the gig.
You asked for the work.
You put in the reps.
You ran your paces.
You showed up. Again. And again.
That’s not luck. That’s not deception. That’s yours.
Alain de Botton on Why We Fear Being Found Out
In his classic book, Status Anxiety, Alain de Botton argues that much of our fear isn’t about failure itself—it’s about how others will perceive that failure. The shame, the judgment, the imagined humiliation.
Which is why we hesitate.
Not because we aren’t capable. But because we assume there’s an invisible jury, always watching, always waiting to pass judgment.
But what if that audience isn’t as invested in our downfall as we think?
Like I said: unless you faked cancer, jammed a roasted turkey up your dress, or spent years speaking in a faux-European accent, your fear of being exposed is wildly disproportionate to reality.
From Imposter Complex to Trailblazer’s Complex
The fear of exposure might feel real, but what if it’s just… misplaced?
What if this isn’t proof that you don’t belong, but rather proof that you’re at the edge of something bigger?
In Think Again, Adam Grant highlights that true experts tend to doubt themselves, while the least competent are often the most confident. (See also: the Dunning-Kruger effect.)
That discomfort you feel? It’s not proof you don’t belong—it’s proof you care. Proof that this matters to you.
And that feeling pulling at you—the weight of stepping into something bigger? That’s not fraudulence.
That’s what I call the Trailblazer’s Complex—the discomfort of leading beyond the status quo.
It’s proof that you’re in the arena, doing the work, pushing the edges of what’s possible.
The frauds aren’t feeling this. They’re marching forward in full delusion, wearing crowns they never earned.
You? You put in the work. You know this matters. You feel the weight of it all because you actually give a damn.
That’s what trailblazing feels like.
Meanwhile, in the Real Hall of Mirrors…
This whole moment in history is peak Emperor’s New Clothes—full of leaders (and I use that term loosely) swaggering around, insisting their robes are majestic when it’s clear to anyone with eyes that they are wearing nothing but bravado.
And it works. Not because they’re competent, but because they’re loud.
Meanwhile, you—the one actually doing the work, holding the line, delivering the results—wonder if you belong.
Enough.
You’re Not Playing King. You Are an Authority.
You don’t need to fake it. You don’t need to act like you belong.
You already belong.
So now? Make it yours. Own it. Claim the space you have earned.
Because if you don’t, someone else will.
And let’s be honest: do we really need more emperors strutting around in imaginary robes while the real leaders hold themselves back?
Or is it time for the ones actually doing the work to take up the space they’ve earned?
Martha Stewart Laughs at Imposter Syndrome—What’s the Joke?
When Martha Stewart laughed off a question about experiencing imposter syndrome, it sparked a wave of reactions. I’ve had dozens of people (and counting) send me the clip—some inspired, some annoyed, some just… puzzled.
For many folks, her laugh was aspirational—a woman so self-assured, she doesn’t waste time second-guessing herself. Fantastic! For others, it was a clear sign of privilege: the kind that allows someone to move through the world without ever questioning their place, finding the very idea of doubt absurd.
FWIW: I loved the Martha Stewart documentary. I appreciate the way she is exactly who she says she is. Authenticity is compelling, and there’s something undeniably magnetic about her confidence. (And I will never use a small knife to cut an orange, if I ever did.)
But laughing at the Imposter Syndrome? Feels complicated.
Because for most trailblazers, the Imposter Complex (IC) is real. And yet, it’s deeply misunderstood, misused, and the way we talk about it can be weaponized in all manners of ways that leave people—especially women and systemically excluded leaders—out of action and questioning their worth…which is what the IC is already trying to do.
The Difference Between Underestimated and Overestimated
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again and again: being in spaces where your competence is underestimated is not the same as feeling like your competence has been overestimated.
When you stop short of raising your hand and challenging the status quo because the institutional groundcover to support you isn’t there, that’s not a “play bigger, stop diminishing” problem or an IC problem. That’s a “this-system-isn’t-designed-for-me” problem.
And feeling like you don’t belong is worlds apart from being told you don’t belong.
But here’s the thing: the IC doesn’t ask about context. It doesn’t care whether your doubts come from systemic barriers or internal struggles. It just whispers, “You don’t belong here,” leaving you questioning your worth. And that’s why it’s so damaging—it isolates, invalidates, and keeps trailblazers out of action, even when their competence is beyond question.
And this is why we need tools.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect and Trailblazers: A Tale of Two Extremes
The clip of Martha captured momentum just as cabinet appointments in the US fill with individuals who are largely glaringly unqualified, making it impossible to ignore the stark contrast between the Dunning-Kruger effect and the Imposter Complex.
On one side, we see people emboldened by systems designed to cushion their falls, confidently overestimating their competence. On the other, trailblazers—overprepared, undervalued, and constantly second-guessing their place in the room—must navigate spaces that weren’t built for them.
For women, systemically excluded folks, and anyone breaking barriers, this isn’t a theoretical divide—it’s lived. And it’s exhausting.
The PMS Parallel: Diminished and Weaponized
When folks are told, “Oh, you just have imposter syndrome,” but the reality is that they’re being underestimated, it’s beyond infuriating. It’s reductive. It’s gaslighting. It’s like telling a woman who has the audacity to not smile because she’s over it, “You must have PMS.” It’s insulting. It’s a huge NOPE.
We know better. But knowing better doesn’t erase the existence of PMS—or the Imposter Complex. Both are real experiences. They might not be an actual issue for the accused in that moment, but denying that they exist at all isn’t the answer either.
The IC already isolates and invalidates. It keeps trailblazers out of action and doubting their worth. Dismissing its existence doesn’t solve the problem—it amplifies it.
I Feel Fear. I Should Feel Fear.
Fear is an instrument of evolution—and so too is the Imposter Complex. When I hear someone say they laugh in the face of fear, it doesn’t inspire me. It just makes me feel like I’m getting one more thing wrong.
Every time I take the stage, I feel the fear that THIS is the time I fall flat on my face. THIS is the time they find out I’m not supposed to be here.
And so, I remember the words of Viola Davis in an interview after she won an Oscar: "I still feel like when I walk on the set, I'm starting from scratch, until I realize, 'OK, I do know what I'm doing. I'm human.'" Her words embolden me, reminding me that even icons feel the weight of doubt—but they press on, grounded in their humanity and their craft.
And then I step into the spotlight, and I give it all I have because the audience deserves nothing less.
Feeling fear isn’t failure. It’s intended to keep you safe. The IC is no different. It shows up when you’re about to do bold, audacious work—work that challenges you to grow. And it’s not a fan of that. Learning to work with it, rather than against it, is the work I teach.
Reframing the IC as the Trailblazers’ Complex
That’s also why I call it the Trailblazers’ Complex. It’s not a symptom of inadequacy—it’s a sign of growth. It shows up when you’re leading in spaces that weren’t necessarily designed for you, challenging the status quo, and paving the way for others to follow.
Trailblazers are the ones willing to go first. They’re the ones breaking down walls, questioning norms, and daring to create something entirely new. That kind of boldness doesn’t come without resistance—both from within and from the world around you.
The Way Forward
Martha Stewart laughed. Maybe she’s never felt the Imposter Complex. Maybe she’s always had the confidence to walk into every room and own it. That’s her story. I love that for her.
But for most of us—especially those carving new paths—the IC is real. And if we allow it to be, it will simply be a signal that we’re stepping into the unknown, blazing trails where few have dared to go.
Here’s what to do when it shows up:
Pause. Recognize that doubt is part of the process.
Take the bold steps forward anyway.
Name it for what it is: a signal of expansion.
This experience doesn’t mean you’re not ready—it means you’re on the edge of something extraordinary. Something like everything.
So: name it. Deal with it. And then keep going, icons.
This is your moment.
And yes, it’s a good thing.
From Imposter to Trailblazer. (And why that matters)
(If you’ve been reading my work for a while and already know how I see the Imposter Complex, feel free to head to start reading this at “Introducing, the Trailblazer's Complex.)
I recently had the incredible good fortune to speak with a group of powerful mavens in the Venture Capital industry. These women are devoted to finding, backing and building category-busting companies that reflect changing demographics, including aging, the rising economic power of women, the shift towards the global majority, and innovative healthcare solutions. Disruptors, through and through.
And? They operate in an industry still overwhelmingly dominated by men.
The stats are pretty grim:
Only 12% of decision makers at VC firms are women.
Only 2.4% are founding partners at VC firms.
Women-led startups received just 2.3% of VC funding in 2020, and of 120 new unicorns (a grade A big deal) in that year, only 10 were female-led. (Source: Crunchbase)
Women hold just 10% of executive-level positions at tech companies globally.
The 2023 Midas List of 100 founders featured only 11 women, the same as in 2022 (with ONE Black founder).
Like I said…grim.
So it stands to reason, the Imposter Complex (or Imposter Syndrome as most people call it) can be UP for some of these women. You know, that sneaky, undermining voice that whispers, "Who do you think you are?" That nagging doubt that convinces you you're not enough, despite all evidence to the contrary. And yet, there they all were, rising to the top.
In short, it was a group of women who have both experienced their fair share of Imposter Complex and are also paradoxically somewhat “over it.”
Because for many women, the “diagnosis” of the Imposter Complex is simply yet another misogynistic scheme designed to slow down women’s progress, as author, founder, and activist Reshma Saujani argues in her ubiquitous address to Smith College about “bicycle face”.
I get it. And I also get why it’s up.
As I’ve said before, the global self-development industry is worth $44 billion as of 2022.
That is a lot of money invested in making people feel like crap about themselves and like they need to be fixed (think diet industry but for confidence). I also want to acknowledge that I work and operate INSIDE of this industry.
AND I see how it’s deeply problematic.
I see the gaslighting, the reductiveness, the toxic positivity, and the manipulative and often predatory practices that can run rampant in the race for a slice of that $44 billion pie.
And I’m most assuredly not alone here.
Australian scholar and critic Rebecca Harkins-Cross writes: “Capitalism needs us all to feel like impostors, because feeling like an impostor ensures we’ll strive for endless progress: work harder, make more money, try to be better than our former selves and the people around us.”
All true.
And?
When us are in the thick of the Imposter Complex experience, it will take us out of action, have us doubt our capacity and keep us alone and isolated.
I’m less interested in TELLING folks what they are experiencing and far more interested in helping them when they find their experience is inhibiting their activation.
One of the other things that I have said for a very, very long time is that the experience of feeling like an imposter comes with some good news.
It means that you hold strong values of excellence, proficiency, and integrity.
It means that what you are doing MATTERS. For instance, I feel no IC in my yoga practice, my painting, my gardening, because those activities do not represent what matters most to me. Unlike my parenting, coaching, writing, and speaking…then it is UP.
It means that you are venturing into the unknown…at the precipice of your expansion.
And if I’m interested in living a life well-lived (which I am), the appearance of the IC has become a beacon signaling the arrival of something that I want…and something that I want to make happen.
But I have come to understand that not everyone holds the same perspective. And that language matters. So if the issue is in the imposter language, maybe it’s time to find language that more accurately reflects the experience.
Maybe it’s time to stop focusing on the fears and doubts and instead lean into the bravery, the innovation, and the path-breaking spirit that is the precursor to said doubt.
Maybe it’s time to claim the real real of what’s happening.
Maybe it’s time to call it something else.
Introducing, the Trailblazer's Complex.
Can you feel that energetic shift? Me too. Here's why.
First Out of the Gate
When you're a trailblazer, you're the first one out of the gate. You're charting new territory, exploring uncharted waters, and setting new standards. This can be both exhilarating and terrifying. But this is precisely what makes trailblazers ICONIC. They dare to go where no one has gone before.
Think of every last icon you admire. Oprah, Malala, AOC. They didn't wait for a road map; they created their own.
Ada Lovelace envisioned capabilities for computers that wouldn’t be realized for over a century, writing the first algorithm intended for a machine. She famously said: “That brain of mine is something more than merely mortal, as time will show.” And it DID.
Misunderstood Brilliance
As a trailblazer, not everyone will understand what you're doing. Your ideas might seem too radical, too ahead of their time. Almost by design, trailblazers out ahead of the pack often face skepticism and resistance.
To the old guard and upholders of the status quo, your new perspectives, new ideas, new energy, and new approaches applied to old problems can feel like a threat.
And not everyone’s gonna like it.
Every great innovator faced naysayers. Your job is to stay true to your vision, knowing that what seems obscure today may well become the new standard tomorrow.
And now is a good time to sidebar and acknowledge that this becomes exacerbated when trailblazers belong to groups that have been overlooked, underestimated, and systemically excluded. Women, people of colour, neurodivergent folks, members of the LGBTQIA+ community…you know what I’m talking about.
Alan Turing made significant contributions to the development of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence. Despite his crucial work during World War II, the rampant homophobic discrimination and oppression he faced prevented him from receiving full recognition during his lifetime. (And worse.) “Sometimes it is the people no one can imagine anything of who do the things no one can imagine.”
Facing the Fear
Of course, the fear and self-doubt that we know as the Imposter Complex will still rear its head. It will tell you that you're not ready, that you lack the capacity, that you’re alone in your struggles. This fear is part of the Trailblazer’s deal. But make no mistake—it's not a stop sign; it's a signpost that you're moving in the right direction.
Amelia Earhart was clearly a trailblazer in aviation. In a time when female pilots were rare, her solo trans-Atlantic flight challenged gender norms and inspired countless women to pursue their dreams. “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do.”
Following the ICONIC Path
For the most part, and with one notable exception, trailblazers don’t follow paths—they make them. And in doing so, they become unforgettable. You're not just participating in the world; you're shaping it. This is what it means to be ICONIC. Your courage to take the first step, despite the doubts and fears, is what sets you apart.
But time for that one notable exception. The ONE path for trailblazers to follow…if they want an easier journey, that is. It’s the ICONIC path…and it’s more of a framework than a path but it’s designed for trailblazers and it’s my life’s work.
Identity: You’re going to need to see yourself as the trailblazer you are. Full stop…or rather, full start.
Confront Critics: Address both external critics and your internal doubts. Understand their nature, and then engineer solutions to move past them. Rachel Carson faced significant opposition when she raised awareness about the dangers of pesticides through her book "Silent Spring," sparking the modern environmental movement and leading to policy changes. And yet, she persisted.
Optimize your Authority: Reflect on your achievements. Reflect on all that you have done and won and healed and survived and use this proof as scaffolding for the next and the next.
Network: Every trailblazer knows they were never intended to go it alone. Surrounding yourself with like-minded folks is the solve for the challenges inherent in this trailblazing life.
Implement Actions: You’ll need to take the next step and the next step and the next step if you’re going to blaze the trail. Action builds confidence…it’s not the other way around.
Celebrate: This may well be the trickiest step in every trailblazer's journey…because their driving spirit has a hard time knowing when enough is enough. And yet, it is vital for integrating the hard work, decisions, tenacity, and conditioning us for more of what we say we want. So yeah…don’t sleep on the celebration.
Onward
Moving from the Imposter Complex to the Trailblazer's Complex is not just a semantic shift. It’s about seeing your distinct journey for what it truly is—a courageous path of innovation, meaning and purpose. Solving for the seemingly unsolvable.
It’s about remembering all the times you stood here, at the precipice of your expansion, jumped or forged ahead, and discovered the party was on the other side of the resistance.
So, the next time you feel that familiar pang of self-doubt, remind yourself:
You're not an imposter.
You're a trailblazer.
What you’re doing matters.
You’ve just never been here before…in fact, few have.
The world needs more of your fearless innovation. AND…you’ve been called forward. So you best answer the call. Because it’s just for you.
Blaze on.
Click below to discover your ICONIC Identity:
Your ICONIC Identity is your Leadership Edge
Let’s begin with a very simple premise: If we can’t see ourselves as a person capable of doing the thing, we aren’t likely to do the thing.
We just aren’t.
Like I wrote in this article:
Oprah had to envision herself at the helm of her own network before it became a reality. Mel Robbins embraced her potential to host a groundbreaking podcast before it topped the charts. Malala Yousafzai saw herself as a catalyst for change before she was recognized as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate and a global advocate for education.
From business mogul to social justice warrior to pop culture icons, they had to see themselves as the person CAPABLE of their incredible feats first.
And of course, the moment we try to see ourselves in this upleveled version, the Imposter Complex will show up.
Who do you think you are, it will sneer.
The Imposter Complex (and here’s why I don’t say “Imposter Syndrome”) is dead set on three objectives:
Trying to keep you out of action.
Having you doubt your capacity.
And keeping you alone and isolated.
In response to the experience, we may try to protect ourselves by hiding out in certain (conditioned) behaviours: procrastination, diminishment, comparison, leaky boundaries, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.
We’ll diminish our vision of ourselves.
We’ll compare it to others’.
We’ll tell ourselves we can’t do the thing until we’ve done all the other things.
(You get the idea.)
And? We’ll make ourselves wrong for colluding with those behaviours.
Why wouldn’t we?
Everywhere we look, we’re told to “stop people-pleasing!”. “STOP comparing yourself to everyone else!”
As if it were that easy.
As if there wasn’t some deep conditioning.
As if there weren’t really excellent reasons for doing so…like safety. Like a trauma response.
The self-development space is a $44 billion industry (as of 2022 - source: Grandview Research). That’s a LOT of money riding on making people feel like shit about themselves.
So I want to do something different here.
Consider:
> What if those learned, conditioned and ingrained behaviours (i.e. the coping mechanisms) pointed towards something else…like our leadership edge?
> What if they illuminated a deep and abiding value that is beautiful and generative?
> What if they helped us to see ourselves in a more optimal (and congruent) light?
> What if they were clues to the ICONIC Identity I know we all hold?
I’d say that’s worthy of exploration.
If you haven’t yet done so, I highly recommend you take the ICONIC Identity quiz. And if it’s been a while, do it again.
(A note on this….we are never only one thing…and if you’ve taken the quiz more than once, you may have had different results. That tracks. 95% of the time, I am a Host. But the CEO shows up from time to time to…exactly when I need her.)
Already know your ICONIC Identity? Then let’s dive in.
The CEO: The High Standard Bearer
The CEO embodies excellence incarnate. Pure and simple.
If you have the ICONIC Identity of CEO, this means you have an extraordinarily strong value of impeccability and deeply yearn for proficiency in all matters that matter.
Just like Beyoncé and Steve Jobs, you operate at a very high level and hold yourself and your work to the highest of standards.
Which is fabulous...until it isn’t.
Because this desire for excellence can tip over into perfectionism quite easily. And perfectionism can be an exhausting tyrant.
Say you’re invited to speak at your industry’s national conference. Your natural and innate desire to do an excellent job and honour your hosts and the attending guests is serving you well. That professionalism is in fact what won you the invitation in the first place. But, on some level, you may feel like a fraud. And so, to prove your “worth” you dig in with over-preparing, refining, polishing, perfecting. You try to learn EVERYTHING (and I mean EVERYTHING) about the subject matter lest anyone find you out. It’s never enough. You may even consider canceling. You become anxious and exhausted and it’s all too much.
And in truth? You don’t feel like you’ll ever be able to do a good enough job. But you push through and finally get on that stage. You do a good job. A FINE job. But not a perfect job… How could you? A) There is no such thing. B) Your stressing and sweating and fretting was showing. You see the other speakers - they seem so calm, so poised. And then you think: a-HA! They are the real pros. Me? If I were a real pro I wouldn’t have had to work so damned hard to just pull off “fine”.
Exhausting, right?
This is why working with the CEO identity will be powerful for you.
CEOs ship even if they don’t feel 100% ready...they know they are READY ENOUGH.
CEOs know that perfectionism stifles creativity and innovation.
CEOs know that places of imperfection are brilliant opportunities to iterate and do better.
CEOs know they can’t go it alone and must get support (in fact, that’s why they hire the best and brightest for their organizations).
The Healer: The Generous Spirit
As The Healer, you are a study in generosity. You give what you have and your kindness and magnanimity make the world go round.
Like the ancient Roman Healer Fabiola, or the Mother Theresas and Princess Dianas of the world, you share your resources, your time, and your energy with care and thoughtfulness for the greatest good.
While it’s true that generous people have more to give, even more true is that resourced people have more to give. And so it’s important that you keep your own resources intact. If you don’t attend to your resources, you may find yourself resentful at best, and burnt out at worst.
Said more plainly: You have an abundance of resources...but not infinite. You have an abundance of capacity...but not infinite.
And this generous tendency to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own can look a LOT like leaky boundaries,
Listen, generosity is a beautiful thing. And so are boundaries. And when we allow them to become leaky, we tend to do things out of obligation, we tend to overshare information about ourselves, and we tend to give greater weight to others’ opinions over our own. In short, it’s hard to tell where we end and someone else begins.
This is especially dangerous for coaches, service providers, and entrepreneurs, because it leads to co-dependent clients, scope creep, and resentment.
The good news is, by respecting your own boundaries, you also teach others to respect them. AND you embody a kind of integrity that is irresistibly magnetic, while creating the kind of impact you yearn to create in your business, vocation and leadership. And STILL be deeply generous.
You will need to remember:
To include yourself in your own circle of care.
That just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you must.
That sometimes you need to say NO so that your YESes have greater meaning.
By respecting your own boundaries, you also teach others to respect them. AND you embody a kind of integrity that is irresistibly magnetic.
The Host: The Ultimate Convener
You are The Host with the most…heart, that is.
You are deeply relational and gather people with ease and attend to their needs with style, and flare and care. People LOVE being around you...and why wouldn’t they? Your ICONIC identity is, by definition, a crowd-pleaser!
Just like Padma Lakshmi and RuPaul, you are a study in grace and inclusivity. Everyone is welcome at your table, you bring out the best in everyone and set them at ease. You know everyone’s preferred beverage and have an epic playlist that everyone will love.
But sometimes, you find yourself missing OUT on the party and the conversations yourself because you are stuck in the (metaphorical) kitchen serving out the hors d’oeuvres, and freshening up said drinks.
This tendency, when not attended to, can look a LOT like people-pleasing.
People-pleasing is about trying to smooth the way forward by making sure people like you and that you fit in and relate well with others. Not a bad thing per se, but when it goes unchecked, you can see how it has stopped you from carrying out your big and brave work in the world. And also maybe you can see all the places that you have stopped short of calling your team or clients forth.
It can keep you hustling for worthiness, can keep you from your best self, and can inhibit your ability to create the kind of impact you yearn to create in your business, vocation and leadership.
Because in the quest to be liked, you tend to forget that you are deserving of a seat at the table. It wasn’t just handed to you. And when they say you’ve done an amazing job? No. They’re not just being nice.
So don’t forget:
That your place is IN the party.
That they have come to see and be with YOU.
That YOU matter for who you are and not just for how you make people feel.
That caretaking is not your job.
And you most certainly must NOT water down your magic to make others more comfortable.
(I’m right about this...this has been MY area of growth for some time.)
The Maven: The Insightful Connector
As The Maven, you are deeply tuned into what’s going on around you and beyond.
You have a keen eye and sense of what’s what. You know the best people. You see and have the best ideas.
Think Oprah and her discerning eye and ability to connect the best of the best with the best of the best.
That’s you. The Seer. The Connector.
This tendency CAN mean that you might over-identify with what’s going on “out there”...and less with what’s in your own inner landscape.
It can also mean that in shadow, there might be some projection and judgment about others that keeps you from moving forward on what you say you want.
And you may find that you get stuck in a comparison loop that can be hard to extricate yourself from.
Comparison stems from your desire to discern how you are stacking up against others. In life, business...all of it. It’s not a problem per se...in fact comparison is a very important teacher, AND I suspect you can also see how it may be keeping you from swinging out and bringing your best work out into the world.
The trouble with the comparison habit is that you get stuck comparing your blooper reel with others’ highlight reels. It’s not fair to either of you – and it’s definitely not helping you to lead with the ICONIC Impact you are here to create.
So don’t forget:
Comparison is an important teacher...but so is your own inner knowing.
You ALSO have brilliant ideas and concepts that are worthy of being received.
How others have said or done a thing matters...but YOUR people want to hear and see the way YOU will say or do the thing.
Be reasonable and offer grace when you are comparing yourself to someone else. (Said another way: don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.)
The Sage: The Thoughtful Deliberator
As The Sage, discernment is your superpower.
When folks are busy barrelling forward, you use that power to vet context and you appreciate the intricacies of nuance.
You are thoughtful and deliberate and make excellent decisions borne of due diligence. And you invite us to do the same.
A gentle reminder: you have plenty of time to get everything done — but not all the time in the world.
Be wary that procrastination doesn’t derail you.
It’s an awful feeling that we dread experiencing being found out – isn’t it? The other shoe dropping. Being unmasked for the imposters we are certain that we are. And it’s just a matter of time before “they” find out. So… why tip our hands? Isn’t it better if we just lay low? Stay out of action? Keep researching, incanting, and doing our “due diligence”, right? Then no one can find out that we really aren’t as capable as they had imagined, right?
Except this: when you stay out of action, you deprive us of the gift you are and the gifts you have.
Imagine if Pema Chödrön and Maya Angelou tipped over into procrastination and didn’t ship their extraordinary bodies of work. Imagine them sitting on the gifts that they’ve been given in the name of on-going careful deliberation...and let’s face it: resistance.
Now imagine you may be doing the same.
Depriving us of the YOU that we need.
So don’t forget:
Do your due diligence, yes.
Vet context and allow for a deeper exploration of nuance, yes.
AND get into action.
The Visionary: The Bold Innovator
As The Visionary, your exquisite brain sees a magnificent future. And you help lead us forward. Towards the bigger picture. Towards what is possible. Towards the highest good for all.
You’re with the Barack Obamas and the changemakers, and innovators whose big brilliant ideas create a better world. Whether it’s in creating more access to social opportunities for communities in need or inspiring US to find, articulate, and reconnect with our own north star, even when we cannot clearly see the sky.
Whew. THANK you.
And for you, it may be an on-going struggle to keep showing up for your ideas. Your ideas...and yourself.
Perhaps you’ve been conditioned to believe that you shouldn’t take up too much space. Or that when you are proud of your ideas, it sounds like you’re boasting. That you aren’t humble enough.
And so you may tend to diminish your ideas...or don’t share them widely.
Diminishment is all about staying low, out of the spotlight, and even, dare I say it? Dimming your own light.
It might sound like humility, but diminishment and humility are not the same thing. You can be entirely humble and shine brightly. AND? I know that for some folks it truly hasn’t felt safe to shine.
But what I also know is, that over time, the more you diminish, the more you start to believe in the less-than-confident bio you’ve written about yourself. Or the more you stop believing in your world-changing ideas.
And if you’re a coach, Founder, or entrepreneur, diminishment may well be keeping you from helping the people who truly need what you have to offer. It may also have you undercharging.
So don’t forget:
Your power is in the sharing of your ideas.
Your job is to get out in front of the stage with those ideas.
It can be safe to shine.
You must not hoard your brilliance.
AND, you are to believe in your brilliant SELF as much as you believe in your brilliant world-changing ideas.
So whether you are a Sage that values discernment, the CEO who values excellence, the Sage who values discernment, the Host who values inclusivity, the Healer who values generosity, or the Maven who values connection, let’s take a hot second to pause and acknowledge those values.
In a world gone sideways, THESE are the attributes I’m looking for in the leader I am and the leader I aspire to be, and the leaders I look up to.
My hope is that when the Imposter Complex comes looking for you, knowing your ICONIC identity gives you your very own swift and decisive answer to the question “who do you think you are?”
Because now you know.
An ICON.
Pure and simple.
Want even more illumination on this? Apply for an ICONIC Spotlight session here.