The ICONIC Framework
Over the years, I’ve been talking a lot about what it means to be ICONIC.
Because at a baseline, I believe it sits at the center of so much that we want.
To be one of a kind
Irreplaceable
Unforgettable
Legendary
Influential
Recognizable
Unapologetic
Relevant
It is undeniable in how indelibly we are marked by folks who we see as ICONIC in their influence on culture:
Tracy Chapman at the 2024 Grammys, comes to mind.
Iris Apfel (RIP, Icon)
RuPaul
Oprah
Billy Porter
Cher
Michelle Obama
In part, they know WHO. THEY. ARE.
And let’s call it: there are very few folks I know who would not love being seen and known as ICONIC. For their impact, their thought scholarship, their influence.
Think about it: when you’re told that something you do is iconic, don’t you feel well seen?
And of course, the reason I’m so fascinated by this experience is that the desire to be ICONIC can rankle the IC–the Imposter Complex. (You might say “Imposter Syndrome”, but I don’t and here’s why.)
In fact, you can’t spell ICONIC without “IC”...twice. It will try to get you coming and going.
And expressions of this fascination include my TEDx talk on the Imposter Complex.
Programs and a quiz I’ve created around ICONIC Identity.
Experts I’ve spoken to about the ICONIC Effect.
Programs devoted to ICONIC Impact and mastermind spaces dedicated to creating ICONIC Legacy.
(And if any of this work sounds inviting to you, let’s get on an ICONIC spotlight session to see where it would best support you.)
But I’ve never shared with you the exact framework that I developed to truly address and tackle the IC, (with the help of the Thumbprint Model created by Pam Slim, Darron Padilla and Josiah Owens).
Until now.
It’s a process that is so simple to me.
It’s how I approach everything that is worth doing.
And I’m sharing it with you such that it will support you in all you want to do as well.
Let’s go.
First of all, ICONIC isn’t JUST a rabble-rousing word. It’s not JUST a calling forth that evokes an immediate and visceral response.
(I mean it is…go ahead and try it out…say aloud “I am ICONIC” and see if you don’t sit up just a little bit taller.)
It’s also a very clever acronym.
An acronym that every icon has ever used to do anything and everything that matters, whether they have meant to or not.
And I want you to have it.
I is for Identity
And it’s as frustratingly simple as that.
Oprah had to envision herself at the helm of her own network before it became a reality. Mel Robbins embraced her potential to host a groundbreaking podcast before it topped the charts. Malala Yousafzai saw herself as a catalyst for change before she was recognized as a Nobel Peace Prize laureate and a global advocate for education.
From business mogul to social justice warrior to pop culture icons, they had to see themselves as the person CAPABLE of their incredible feats first.
And so how you see yourself is the very beginning of the ICONIC journey.
Which is why I’ve been thinking so much on the ICONIC Identity you need to step into that will get you there. Now, long time readers will recall that I’ve been using “starring role” language for a really long time. This ICONIC language feels even more resonant.
Aspirational with a healthy dose of gravitas. Rooted. Powerful.
This work stems from my ICONIC Identity Quiz and the occasional delivery of a short ICONIC Identity workshop/course that illustrates the “golden shadows” that the coping (and safety) mechanisms of the Imposter Complex reveal…and potential ICONIC Identities to explore.
For instance:
The CEO: Perfectionism highlights a commitment to excellence, a trait central to the iconic identity of the CEO. This pursuit of impeccable standards showcases their dedication to achieving the highest peaks of success.
The Host: The tendency to please others reflects a deep-rooted value of inclusivity, key to the Host's iconic identity. By striving to accommodate and welcome everyone, the Host embodies the spirit of unity and belonging, making them a beacon of hospitality.
The Healer: Leaky boundaries demonstrate an underlying generosity, marking the Healer's iconic identity. Their open-hearted approach to giving, (sometimes beyond their limits) underscores a profound capacity to care and heal, making their generosity their hallmark.
The Maven: A habit of comparison underlines a desire for connection, pivotal to the Maven's iconic identity. This continuous seeking of benchmarks and learning from others fosters a deep-seated sense of community and shared wisdom, establishing them as lifelong seers, learners and connectors.
The Visionary: Diminishment reflects a value of humility. Often visionaries feel the bigness of their ideas, but tend to hide behind them, forgetting that we need them out in front WITH their big world-chaging ideas. Both/and.
The Sage: Procrastination can reveal a great value of discernment, integral to the Sage's iconic identity. This careful consideration and delay in decision-making highlight a deep wisdom and thoughtfulness, ensuring that actions taken are meaningful and informed.
Go ahead and take the ICONIC Identity quiz to see which one is most likely yours. (Hint: your result will also highlight your leadership edge.)
C is for Confront
Confront the CRITICS, that is.
You see…one of the three main objectives of the Imposter Complex is to keep you out of action.
How it does so is pretty layered, with its 12 very specific lies and a myriad of clever tricks.
But in general, what is standing in the way of everything we say we want are critics. And in my work, we go ahead and meet those critics. Head on.
Which is really an invitation to get clear about what’s REALLY here. Be they realistic objections, ACTUAL critics of our actions, or your own inner critics.
Once we know the nature of the objection/obstacle, we can address it. How we do so is layered and nuanced, but we must discern what we’re dealing with first before we devise the action plan.
Because if we are blocked, we are out of action. And the Imposter Complex wins.
And I am CLEARLY not here for that.
O is for Optimize
The Imposter Complex’s second objective is to have you doubt your capacity.
The critics will have done a good job trying to convince you of all the reasons you CAN’T do the world-changing things.
And yes, in the confronting, you’ve worked out the fallacies.
But now it’s about rooting into proof positive about all you have already done so you can be reminded on a cellular level what you are indeed capable of.
This has the energy of drawing back the arrow so you can shoot forward with power.
It’s a reflection of all that has been done, delivered, sold, survived and healed in spite of the tripwires set up by the critics. It’s easy to forget once we’ve overcome the obstacles, but it’s vital that we remember all the OTHER times we’ve stood at this very precipice of our expansion, jumped and saw that the party was on the other side of the resistance.
And for folks with strong values of integrity, proficiency and excellence who operate at a high level, the ego often prevents them from recalling their accomplishments. Why’s that? Because the ego wants to want more than it wants to get.
Sit with that a moment.
The ego wants to want more than it wants to get.
And if you disagree with me, tell me right now, what was your biggest win from yesterday? I don’t want to hear that the weather was lovely, or that your colleague got a promotion. I want to know what YOU made happen that you count as a win?
In my work, I’ve formerly called this piece “Bolstering your authority thesis” and it’s a process of gathering internal data points of accomplishments, certifications, acknowledgments, and THEN going outside for external proof points. The order of that is pretty important, especially for those people-pleasers who will just assume that everyone is just being nice.
(Worth noting, a client did this series of exercises with me only to message me days later to say she had forgotten to include the PhD she had earned.
N is for Network
The third objective of the Imposter Complex is to keep us alone and isolated. But no one was ever, EVER intended to do any of this alone.
Making sure we are surrounded by good people is essential for our good work…so this is where we assess our network. This is really about understanding who we are surrounded by, how we ask for and receive support, and from whom. Not everyone wants to see us succeed, but YOUR people do, so this is about cultivating more of that…and navigating trickier relationships that we just may need to divest from.
It’s also a consideration of how we are supporting others around us.
The most successful people I know do something that I have historically called “assemble the cast”. They consistently uplift and amplify three particular groups:
Their teachers (citing and acknowledging their thought scholarship…attribution for the win.)
Their colleagues and peers (community care and collaboration over scarcity and competition…it’s more than a lovely idea.)
Folks coming up behind them who could use a helping hand. (Remember when a coffee chat might have given you the exact lift you needed?)
This rugged individualism is killing us. Let’s do better, together.
This article explores this in far greater detail.
I is for Implement
In other words…do the work.
Which I always think is good news.
We GET to do the work.
It’s what we love.
It’s what matters to us (otherwise we wouldn’t be experiencing the Imposter Complex).
It’s what stretches us.
So we implement. (“I” could also be for “iterate” or “invoke”, but implement gets to the heart of it.)
We get into action, work with our patterns, remember to circumnavigate the tripwires of the critics, gather the support of our network, remember what we are capable of, and get it done.
Decisions made and action taken. Confidence is created by action. Not the other way around.
C is for Celebrate
The final step in any work that matters is celebration.
You know the annoying yoga instructor who insists savasana is the most important pose in any practice? Yeah. I’m with them on this.
How else would we integrate the learnings? How else do we allow ourselves to recognize, on a cellular level, that we are intended to experience rest in joy?
Seems simple enough, but once again, high achievers struggle with this. The Imposter Complex (and other conditioned influences…capitalism comes to mind) can keep us in a striving loop. But rest and celebration is vital to integrate our good work and to signal completion.
And yes, it also helps us level-set for what comes next…WHEN the time is right.
Ready for the next…you get that?
This IS iterative work.
Reminder that you can’t spell ICONIC, without IC, twice.
Meaning it will come for you the moment you decide you are an icon, and it will get you when you are ready to stretch into the next. Coming and going.
But now you don’t need to let the Imposter Complex win. When you’re ready to fully implement the ICONIC framework, I’ll be here.
Click here for my free training:
Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.