Five of the best pieces of speaking advice I've ever received
Since sharing my Speaking Gig Discovery Call Checklist (yours to grab here if you missed it), I’ve been fielding a lot more Qs than usual about the speaking arm of my business.
Seems you didn’t realize just how much of it I actually do, or how meaningful this part of my business is to me.
Because being invited to a stage is a most incredible honour. As I’ve said before, our attention is being commodified at every turn. So to be entrusted with the time and attention of dozens, hundreds or even thousands of people is just about as good as it gets for me.
Which means you can bet I show up and I DELIVER with everything I have.
And everything leading up to taking the stage is something of an art form.
The talk itself is just one of them.
Getting to the venn diagram of where the audience’s needs intersect with both the desired outcome of the organizers AND the content that I am best suited to deliver is something of an art form.
Pricing is something of an art form.
Structure is something of an art form.
Running the Discovery Call is something of an art form. (Precisely what the checklist will help you prepare for.)
And then there’s taking the stage.
Now, in fairness…this, FOR ME, is the easiest part. (I know this is true for many of you too. But not for all.)
I dream of that moment I take the stage.
I dream of the way time seems to stand still when a point I’ve made really connects with the audience. The moment that was previously not known will now never be unknown. (That was a mouthful, but it’s pure magic.)
I dream less about the applause and more about the lively Q+A portion of the keynote.
But/and, as comfortable as I have been most of my life in front of an audience, when I sit with the investment of time and energy and resources it takes to get me onstage, my nerves can still have their say.
And so, I come back to the five best pieces of speaking advice I’ve ever received.
1.Trust the intelligence in the room.
This comes from my friend and colleague Julie Daley who shared this with me in 2012 as we were preparing to take the TEDx stage. The meaning of this has shifted and deepened significantly as I have spoken in every conceivable kind of room.
But what I’ve always held it to be is a reminder that we are all co-creating an experience. That I am not the only one with will here. That my words matter, but so does the impact. And also, it reminds me to leave plenty of space for what shows up.
2. Know that everyone in the audience is already rooting for you.
It’s so easy to imagine folks wanting to pelt tomatoes, but you know yourself, when you see someone on that stage, you WANT them to win.
They already believe in you…match their belief and rise up to meet it…and then, go on and blow their hair back.
And for the 5% who may be unconvinced? You weren’t going to win them over anyway.
3. Imagine you’re speaking to your favourite client, reader, friend or teammate.
You want them to hear and know your message because what you name is going to shift something vital for them.
There is a bottleneck that is keeping them from their full expression and activation…and what you are naming just may release it.
This MATTERS.
4. You may not be the only one in the room who knows your topic, but you’re here for your unique perspective and lived experience.
There are two parts to this for me.
Remembering that MY experience is mine and though we may be in the same shared space, we aren’t all experiencing the world in the same way. (I give thanks to my friend Staci Jordan Shelton for this context.)
In more recent years, I’ve begun every talk acknowledging that my work is informed by my experience as a white, neurotypical cishet woman of middle class means living in North America. And I acknowledge that my experience may well not be the same as many in the audience. Nor am I the teacher or guide for everyone.
AND that my lived experience IS what brings uniqueness to my perspective.
I certainly didn’t invent the notion of the Imposter Complex. AND no one talks about it the way that I do, with the particular nuances borne of my stumbles and deepened understanding of intersectionality and the ways this experience plays out.
In fact, if I were to believe my perspective didn’t matter, I’d be paradoxically colluding with lie #4 of the Imposter Complex “you have nothing useful to say.”
Nope. Not on my watch.
5. “You can totally rock this. It's terrifying as all hell, but so is all the great stuff we do in life. It's a sign of exhilaration.”
This came from Elan Morgan after I saw them speak at a conference and was struck enough by their presence to seek their best speaking advice. And whew.
I believe this more and more every time I remind myself of all the stages I have ‘totally rocked’. Rooting into proof positive about all that we have done is a vital Imposter Complex-busting strategy. Especially all the times we remembered that we jumped and discovered the party was on the other side of the resistance.
There you have it. My five best pieces of speaking advice I have received and that I have to offer.
But while we are here, after the gig, you will want to know how you did. (Just as I did recently).
That is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of your value of excellence, proficiency and integrity. It’s a sign that this part of your thought leadership and thought scholarship is meaningful to you. It’s a sign that you are a pro. Ask for the feedback.
Okay, then.
Reminder, if you haven’t downloaded the Speaking Gig Discovery Call Checklist, have at it here. My inbox is full of emails of appreciation from folks already implementing my process. (You’re welcome!)
Share the love! I would be so grateful if you invited the speakers in your life to sign up for the resource here.
And finally, If you are keen on getting support in your own speaking, I just may be able to help.
Click here for my free training:
Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.