…and it wants to steal your lunch money. It tells you crap like; “this is the way things are” and “I’m in charge here”.
At the risk of sounding like a subway ad, here are some possible circumstances to consider:
Don’t have the money to start your own dream business? Underhoused and overdebted? Friends keep walking all over you? Completely depleted of energy because of all you HAVE TO do in a day? Haven’t been able to bridge your relationship with your Dad?
Consider just one of these. How does it make you feel? Trapped? Small? Weak? Stupid? Powerless? That’s just how the circumstance likes it - it wants to make you feel you don’t have a choice in this matter and the sooner you concede is the sooner you DON’T get that knuckle sandwich.
That boxed in feeling you get when considering the situation is…get this…just ONE PERSPECTIVE on the situation.
There are others. Oh yes, there are others. And you can choose which one you would like to don to look at the circumstance. Don’t worry, I’m not actually suggesting that there ISN’T a problem to be considered. Just that there are multiple ways of looking at it and the sooner you recognize that the one you’re seeing right now isn’t the ONLY way, the sooner you get out of that tight cramped and scary place of helplessness and start exploring what else there is for you.
Oh, I know ALL too well why the current perspective is so compelling. You don’t necessarily WANT to see things from this helpless place, but can’t help it, right? You’ve been living it for so long, gathering reams of evidence that point to this “just being the way it is”, that it FEELS true, immutable and unshakable. Case closed. In fact, you’re pretty much doing the bully’s PR for him.
My suggestion? Deal with the circumstance just as you would a bully:
- Stand up to it and declare in your loudest voice: I DO NOT ACCEPT THAT I AM POWERLESS HERE!
- Take its power away by choosing another perspective. There are others for you to choose…many, many others. Plan action from there.
Can’t see them for yourself? Talk to a coach. THAT’S what we do… help you to see what might be possible from right here, right now and move you into action. (Email me for a sample session or for a referral to one of my fabulous colleagues).