In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week, I’m hosting ITS SOLO. I’m answering ALLLLL of your Q’s on the areas of my life that rankle my own Impostor Complex: parenting, speaking, coaching, business. The things that matter the most to me. Ask me ANYTHING about those topics. I'll bring it. With prosecco.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
Results of Tanya’s Birthday Offer (over $4k raised for charities around the world!!)
How Tanya decided her area of expertise was the Impostor Complex
Tanya’s first TEDx talk and how she found her passion for dismantling the Impostor Complex
The six behavioral traits of the Impostor Complex that we go to, to avoid being found out as an impostor or fraud - perfectionism, procrastination, comparison, diminishment, leaky boundaries, and people pleasing (Tanya’s particular coping mechanism)
Our ministry is where our misery (and joy) has been
Where the Impostor Complex shows up for Tanya and how she handles it
How to share your work if you’re afraid
How to handle really big goals
“Slowly, slowly” vs “Hustle, hustle”
[Realizing that the Impostor Complex is where my ministry is…] it’s the lens through which I see everything, it’s in my every conversation, and I can’t unsee it.
People pleasing is where I like to hide out.
I believed that boundaries were probably one of my biggest issues up until probably about a year ago, and I hadn’t stopped to celebrate that I had done some great boundary work.
Over time, if you work the tools, it will shift and you can heal those aspects. They might still come up but again, it’s all about the faster recovery.
Your ministry is where your misery has been. I also say [your ministry] is also where your joy has been, lest we forget we are also allowed to speak from our places of deep joy because that’s where healing has also happened.
[For me,] the Impostor Complex shows up on the precipice of something new. … It does show up for me when I look to evolve my message.
The places of stretch for me happen when I speak about things I haven’t fully integrated.
One of the huge things about the Impostor Complex is that it’s supported by your deep values of integrity, excellence, and mastery.
You really just need to have a look at what you’re really afraid of, what are the consequence you imagine would happen, and how do you mitigate them the best that you can?
The fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood is no joke. I have deep empathy and compassion for those of you who are on the precipice of saying the hard things. Go in as strong as you possibly can, and then really do look at “And then...?” questions. “What happens? (They won’t like it.) And then?” And I think you’ll know how you want to respond.
We make a decision to do something, we make sure that it’s aligned, we make sure we have the support, we make sure we have the resources, then we do the work, and then we celebrate.
[The Impostor Complex] never really goes away. It’s like a traveling companion and it’s a little like fear. It’s not something that you’ll ever fully eradicate. Once again, it’s something that you can recover from more quickly such that you can get into action. And you don’t ever want to lose it entirely, because A) it’s going to let you know that what it is that is triggered is deeply important to you and B) it’s also here to remind you of your values of integrity, excellence, and mastery. In fact, when I think about all the times that I don’t experience the Impostor Complex, that just lets me know that maybe I’ve got a little more swinging out to do.
LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
We’ll take your questions and bring our best answers. It’s part coaching, part exploration, part Q+A, all delicious.
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!