You’re the good girl who was
destined to become the “perfect woman”.
Always have been.
To avoid feeling like a fraud, the Impostor Complex has us hide out in certain behaviors: procrastination, perfectionism, comparison, people-pleasing, diminishment, or in your case, LEAKY BOUNDARIES.
Boundaries are a beautiful thing. But when we start to allow them to become leaky, we tend to do things out of obligation (which can breed resentment), we tend to overshare information about ourselves, and we tend to give greater weight to others’ opinions over our own. In short, it’s hard to tell where we end and someone else begins.I have so much more to share with you, so if you’d like to learn more, pop your email in here. I’ll share why you’ve done this (psst...it’s not all bad!), how it relates to the Impostor Complex and has been in the way of your Unshakeable Confidence and above all, what you can do to move past this so you can shine even brighter. We need you.
And it’s the reason your best friend wants your mantra to be: "I choose me".
Now...don’t get me wrong. The reasons your boundaries are a little leaky ACTUALLY come from an excellent place.
- Your deep care for others’ and their perspectives is gorgeous.
- Your generosity wants to offer others second chances.
- Maybe your value of kindness fears that having strong boundaries will keep people OUT, and that holding firm boundaries will make you self-centered.
I totally get it.
And here’s what I know:
We tolerate our boundaries leaking to avoid experiencing the sting of the Impostor Complex. To make sure we fit in. To preserve harmony and foster connection.
But there is a double bind here.
When our fear of belonging becomes bigger than our own thoughts and wants and desires and TRUTHS and we start to adapt to and adopt others’? Well then, of course, we actually ARE standing in opinions that are not our own and we are building some legitimacy to the claim that we are Impostors. That’s how confirmation bias works.
Where you are headed requires the fullest version of you, and not some lesser version of someone else. You standing strong in your integrity with yourself and your values is vital to your activation.
And no one will respect your boundaries if you don’t respect them first.
Over the next couple of days, I’m going to be sharing some resources with you to help you get strengthen up those boundaries so that you can lean into Unshakeable Confidence.