50 Gifts to myself on my 50th birthday.

I turned 50 years old today.

It’s an age that holds a lot of meaning for some.

I know some folks who would give anything to get to this age.
I know plenty who say that life begins at this age.

Most people say it’s just a number.

And then there’s Mrs A – our Trinidadian octagenarian neighbour who revealed that she would only celebrate my 50th and my 75th with that wild twinkle in her eye that I have come to count on over the years.

Given that sagacity is one of the few things our culture seems to prize about aging, I thought I’d share what I have LEARNED over 50 years…to like about myself. 

Because acknowledgement is a sacred gift, and it’s one I’m gifting myself this year.

Without further ado…let’s roll.

  1. I like how I parent.

  2. I like how I partner.

  3. I like how I coach.

  4. I like how I sister.

  5. I like how I daughter (and even how I bonus-daughter and how I daughter-in-law).

  6. I like how I friend.

  7. I finally like my eyebrows, my hair and my ankles.

  8. I like my style…in most, if not, all ways.

  9. I like the business I have created.

  10. I like the team I have gathered.

  11. I like my self-care regimens…mostly.

  12. I like that every morning, I can find 108 things to be grateful for before I get out of bed...even on the roughest of mornings.

  13. I like the communities of care and friend groups I have gathered.

  14. I like how I grieve. I don’t like all the practice I’ve had, but I like how I grieve.

  15. I like how I receive.

  16. I like that I know I am a Star Maker.

  17. I like that I smell possibility in others like a bloodhound. And then I hold it lightly for them to see too…if they so desire.

  18. I like that I get results.

  19. I like that I only work with folks who are in pure integrity and refuse to work with folks who are not.

  20. I like how I do not abandon myself any longer for the fleeting admiration of another.

  21. I like that I am surrounded by honest folks who love me enough to offer conscious critique, and hold me accountable.

  22. I like that I have started to treat my energy as the precious resource that it is, and attend to it with reverence.

  23. I like who I am and I still like who I am becoming.

  24. I like that I have some grace about always being in a state of transition and that I no longer try to white knuckle certainty.

  25. I like knowing that to be ICONIC, you will (I will) face the Imposter Complex twice.

  26. I like my body of work.

  27. I like my body.

  28. I like that I can feel the visceral response to writing #27 and know that body shame is deep and requires care, and still, I know the truth of #27 and all the work that went into having it be so. 

  29. I like that I am developing a new appreciation for rest that will serve me well for the balance of my life.

  30. I like that I no longer need to spend time with people who choose to be exclusively negative. 

  31. I like my 50 stack practice…a way to connect to the truth that sits on the other side of most of the disempowering beliefs that I no longer buy into.

  32. I like that I no longer try to convince people to “do better” and that I can see the extraordinary and inherent arrogance that I was holding. 

  33. I like that I no longer pretend to be okay when I’m not. I gift myself grace and space to want, ask for, and receive emotional support…and more if what I’m given is not sufficient.

  34. I like that "I need time to process how I feel" is perfectly reasonable, and often, THE most appropriate way to respond.⁠ I've spent far too much time in my life enabling others to feel okay about their less-than-stellar behaviour. ⁠(And that's precisely what we're doing when we rush past our feelings and into the resolution.⁠)

  35. ⁠I like that I don't do that any more.⁠

  36. ⁠I like that I am okay with recognizing that I am not for everyone. 

  37. I like that I can take that even further to say: not only am I not for everyone, but I like that I have become somewhat ambivalent about being liked. (Whew.)

  38. I like my energy and recognize that others do too..and some will seek to bleed me of it, so it’s a precious resource I need to tend to (cf: #22), especially if I want to keep liking my energy.

  39. (Clearly, I also like spirals.)

  40. I like that I generally make excellent decisions borne out of BOTH due diligence and intuition.

  41. I like that I am serious when I tell my clients that I’m not attached to being right about something, which means I am equally serious when I assert that I am right about something.

  42. I like that I’m also super fine with being wrong…and work hard on making reparations when required.

  43. I like that I am still working on divesting from praise and criticism. Still.

  44. I like that I no longer force staying in relationships, spaces and places that have faded out of alignment for me.

  45. I like that I live inside my friend Staci’s invitation to, “make beautiful new memories so your best days aren’t always in the distant past.”

  46. I like that I saw a loooooooong time ago that perfectionism was a hungry ghost I could not/would not ever satiate.

  47. I like that I know that I know more than I think and I’ll never know it all.

  48. I like that I know that the version of me someone else feels that they require me to be is not one bit of my responsibility.

  49. I like that I am unapologetic about finding and fostering joy.

  50. I like telling people that I AM Tanya Geisler. Because I know who I am and I know what I uphold and I know where I’m going.

Yeah. That’s a lot to like about being 50.

With so much more to come. I’ll swing back around and add to this list when I turn 75.

Thank you for being here…because I sure like YOU very much. Your presence, your attention, and your care are gifts that mean the world to me.

Click here for my free training:

Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.

Tanya Geisler