Are you a fair weather friend to your desires?
It was pure delight to get to speak with Kate Northrup on Tuesday. Pure + unadulterated. Being with someone so present in their star power is like that. Amazing to think we tackled money, priorities, freedom alignment, praise and criticism, being an understudy, feeling like a fraud, AND laughed our asses off.
It was the conversation about priorities that I’ve been sitting with. How we say we want more money, to be more present, to have more intimacy, to have more grace, to be more organized, to write more, to take better care of our relationships, to eat better, to learn how to tie a scarf like a Parisian woman (oh, maybe that’s just me), to play a bigger game, to let in more love, to step into our starring role…
And then? (You can see where I’m going here.)
Yup.
We don’t take action.
The morning of the telejam, I had a tough conversation with our daughter about what it means to be a good friend and what it means to be a fair weather friend.
Someone who’s only there when THEY need you. And then who abandons you when they don’t.
(It’s the same conversation I had with my mother when I was nine. I’m still learning.)
In her fabulously delightful and practical book Money: A Love Story, Kate counsels readers to consider their own Money Story. So I did. And in doing so realized that I have spent much of my life in that kind of fair weather relationship with money. Attentive and concerned when I’ve needed it, ambivalent and blithe when I haven’t. And then shocked when my money situation needed my attention and concern once again.
Seriously, if you were money, would YOU want to stick around for that kind of friend? Me neither.
Kate asked::
Are your actions lining up to what you (say you) really want?
Good one. What are you making more important than what you say you want?
Try this.
Step one:: Declare what you want. (Understanding WHY you want it is imperative.) Step two:: Love that desire in being. Take action. Tend to it. Nurture it. Be faithful to it. (In short, make it happen). Step three:: Keep doing step two.
What kind of a friend does your faith, money, art, starring role need you to be for it to stick around?
You know how to be a good friend. Fair weather just isn't your style.
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