Ease vs Hustle…the Grudge Match
I was asked this question last week that I loved receiving. Not just because I had a helpful answer, though I sure don’t mind that, but rather because it kept working its way through me. Plinko-style.
“I have to deliver a ‘no’ this week, and even though I know in my bones it’s the right thing, I’m still having BIG feelings about it. It gets easier but never easy, especially when we’re in the level up. What helps you say ‘no’ when it feels scary but also liberating??”
I responded:
Excited for you and for all that is available on the other side of that no. I trust, as you do, that you've done your due diligence and are clear on what that no will offer.
When I’m in that place, I remind myself that growth doesn’t come from ease but rather alignment. And that getting INTO alignment can feel like a contortion.
And when that feels too hard, I remind myself of all the times I’ve stood at this precipice. Clear that the no might feel hard, but necessary. And all the times I jumped in spite of the resistance. And all the times I discovered that that’s where the party was.
And while I’m thinking a LOT about levelling up and helping my brilliant clients do just that all day every day, it was the part about the ease that stuck with me.
Eeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase.
Just say it with me now.
EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE.
Don’t you feel your shoulders melt down in the exhale?
I mean, who doesn’t want more of THAT?
Most of you reading here will identify as ambitious, success-driven and productive humans, looking to disrupt systems, serve at a higher level and create legacy-level impact. Which is to say, ease has not historically been your north star. Hard work and hustle has been. And conditioning, trauma, systemic exclusions, social structures, institutions, workplaces and family dynamics have sought to uphold that.
We have been taught to worship at the altar of hustle.
So when I ask “how can this be easier?” folks tend to respond with gratitude for the invitation. Because this NOT our conditioned baseline.
But I have been feeling lately that in our effort to divest ourselves from hustle culture, we have started to think that ease is the only other alternative.
And honestly, if you listened to the internet, those really are the only two options:
Ease
OR
Hustle.
With nothing in between. (And BTW. this binary thinking is ANOTHER replication of the very systems and structures most folks are working towards untangling from.)
I think it’s causing some confusion on the road to success and that next level of impact.
(Liiiiiiiike, am I supposed to “rest for success” or “slay all day”?)
What I know about success is that it doesn’t come from pure ease or pure hustle. It comes from both/and. And neither.
Success is found in committing to BOTH rest AND resolve. And it will NEITHER be found in waiting for it to come find you, nor will it be found in you working to the point of exhaustion, resentment and burnout.
There will be times to do the damned thing even if you don’t feel like it…and digging deeper will be the answer. In fact, there will be times that how you feel about doing something won’t even matter.
And there will be times that how you feel about something is the ONLY thing that matters…and going slower is the only reasonable approach.
And most of the success will come from the time you spend in the sweet spot of your activation:
Before achieving becomes over-achieving.
Before giving becomes over-giving.
Before delivering becomes over-delivering.
Before “invested” becomes “over-invested”.
In that space, you are your most magnetic, brilliant, disruptive self. When all is possible and time could stand still. When you are deeply connected, resourced and on purpose. And you look like you’ve swallowed the moon.
This is where we need you to be…for the long haul.
Because you’re not here for the next launch…or even the next level.
You’re here for the legacy.
It’s going to take some unlearning, some regrooving, plenty of discernment and will feel like a lot more joy than you ever thought possible.
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