Lie of the Imposter Complex #11: You're Gonna Have to Fake it 'til You Make it.
How many times have we heard people suggest that we “fake it ‘til we make it” in uncertain or uncomfortable circumstances?
It’s so common — and it’s #11 in the 12 Lies of the Imposter complex.
(By the way, here’s why I say Imposter Complex instead of Imposter Syndrome).
This oft-cited directive has been a well-intended strategy to circumvent the Imposter Complex. And while I completely understand the science underneath playing the game, ramping up our bravado, taking powerful stances until they are baked right into our confidence, I take a strong stand for this simply colluding with our already exacerbated sense of imposterhood.
Because in my experience, you don’t have to fake anything.
You already have qualifications, abilities, skills, and capacities that you’re bringing to any situation.
You don’t have to fake it — you’re ready enough. (See Lie #7 — You’re not ready.)
And of course, per my Ready Enough podcast interview with Janelle Allen, “fake it ‘til you make it” is a perspective that has privilege baked right in. I highly recommend you listen to Janelle’s thoughts on this.
How faking it ‘til you make it might manifest for you
Depending on which of the six behavioural traits of the Imposter Complex you most often experience, you might experience the self-doubt of Lie #11 a little differently:
If you’re a people-pleaser, you might fall into “fake it” thinking as a way of diminishing or explaining how you’re going to show up — for fear that you won’t live up to other people’s standards.
If you have leaky boundaries, you may shelve what you think you know, what you THINK you are capable of, in favour of others’ perspectives, which erodes your confidence and convinces you that you have to fake something.
If you tend to compare, you will compare your efforts, your readiness, your abilities to someone else’s and find yourself “fake” by comparison.
If you’re a perfectionist, you might feel like you’re always faking it, whatever it is, because your efforts never live up to your internal standards.
If you’re a procrastinator, deciding that you must fake it in order to make it might be just the excuse you need not to try right now (or… ever).
If you tend to diminish, thinking that you’re “faking it” is a way of internally diminishing your own abilities, and talking about it is a way of broadcasting that diminishment to others (see Lie #6 — you must tell everyone about this).
But none of this is inevitable.
You, my friend, are not fake — and you don’t have to be anything other than your most authentic self in order to “make it.”
Rooting into what's true, meaningful, and authentic about your qualifications, abilities, and capacity is far more important and enduring.
“Embody what’s already here and authentic for you” isn’t quite as catchy as “fake it ‘til you make it”, but it’s still the truth.
Click here for my free training:
Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.