Untying the Binds of the Imposter Complex
What do procrastination, perfectionism, comparison, leaky boundaries, diminishment, and people-pleasing all have in common?
(Nope. This isn’t a joke. We’ve already established that I’m no masterful joke crafter.)
Well, of course they are each a massive pain in the ass and an impediment to getting your work out in the way you want, ammirite?
But digging in a little deeper, they are also common habits for people struggling with the Imposter Complex (which is probably what you mean when you’re using the term Imposter Syndrome).
And while we don’t typically experience them all at once (oh LORD…can you imagine a worse fate?) we often experience one or two more acutely that the others. For me, my particular poison is people-pleasing. It’s still acute for me.
But what fascinates me the most about these behaviours is the way in which they are all double binds.
Here’s why I can’t stop, won’t stop talking about the Imposter Complex. The richness staggers.
Each of the six behaviours actually feeds our confirmation bias. That tendency to find proof that our beliefs are right. And the belief with the Imposter Complex: You don’t belong. You are a fraud. It’s just a matter of time before they find out.
And so on.
For instance, last month, we untied the double binds of procrastination.
We saw how when we suffer from the Imposter Complex, and are about to start something we might feel wobbly about because we’ve never done it before, we might procrastinate in the beginning. We avoid getting to it for fear of imminent failure (or the magnitude of the job, or the difficulty level, or even success). And in the procrastination and putting the work off, we start to feel helpless, foolish, amateurish, and beat ourselves up for succumbing (once again) to this habit or pattern of ours. When we finally dig ourselves out from under the mess, we may end up producing work that is sub-par.
And then we use that sub-par effort as PROOF that we are frauds and not worthy of the opportunity we were given. (Someone far more capable than us wouldn’t have procrastinated in the first place, we think.)
See? It can trip you up coming AND going. Like I said, fascinating. And entirely overcome-able.
That’s the fabulous news.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.