Articles
What I like about “u”
Let’s get this straight…when I refer to “u”, I mean the letter and not that I have devolved into some a slacker texter.
I love “u”. Perhaps not as much as Melissa Etheridge might on Sesame Street, but I do nonetheless.
This appreciation became evident this evening as I watched my daughter draw my likeness. I’m happy to say that my smile (and not the frown that all parents secretly fear that their children will draw) was a perfect, huge U. We discussed the fact that my smile looked like the letter, which devolved into a pretty funny conversation; me saying I like “u”, her saying that she doesn’t just like me, she loves me and so on (“who’s on first, anyone”?)
So…why do I love “u”? Likely because it physically represents a 180 degree change in direction. (BTW, pet peeve # 57 for me…people who say “360 degree change” when they mean “180”). Think about U-turns (and the centrifugal force in your chest and spirits you feel when you do one mindfully and skillfully)…and then think about language. I find it very cool that by doing a simple 180 on the meaning of words by adding un- as a prefix, many have more power than they had in their (no pun intended) unaltered form: uncanny, unrequited, unadulterated, unbridled, unalienable, unfettered, unabashed etc. We rarely use these terms in their original form...so much less interesting.
Change can happen. Shifts can happen. But they are usually mindfully, skillfully executed. There’s effort in redirection, to be sure…but when it all comes together, what a rush.
And finally…add a “p” to and you get “up”. Could there be a more purely beautiful word than that?
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Globbing and conscious incompetence
Last summer, I was introduced to the step-wise notion of conscious and competence, or incompetence, depending on if you’re a glass is half-empty kinda person. Step 1 is “unconscious incompetence” (file that one in the “ignorance is bliss” category). Step 2 is “conscious incompetence” (this one really sucks…“I’m aware how far away I am from knowing anything”). Step 3 is “conscious competence”…“hey look at me, I’m water-skiing…I never thought I’d be able to…SPLASH” and Step 4 is the anticlimactic “unconscious competence”…you’ve mastered it but are so in the zone that you forgot that you once didn’t know how to do it…but by now you’re probably beating yourself up that you’re consciously incompetent about a different skill-set.
At the risk of being accused for being altogether unkind to myself, I will preface the following list with the caveat that I am unconsciously competent at many things (most recently, reverse parallel parking). That out of the way, here are some of the areas in which I am consciously incompetent:
Blogging (or “globbing” as our daughter calls it)
Speaking Italian
Tying scarves in that elegant Parisian way
Making consistently good bread
Playing drums
Snowboarding
Any sort of dance that may involve actual steps rather than flailing gestures
Bridge
Most home renovation projects
While there is most certainly more, these are top of mind today. And I’ve committed to myself that I will seek out counsel on effective blogging, so am shouting this out to the universe (or blogosphere or whatever this place is called…see what I mean?) So if you feel like you want to revel in your competence in this realm, please email me your thoughts, input, tips etc.
If not, I’m sure my 5-year-old will have the globbing thing figured out before me and can give her dear old Ma some pointers.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Embrace...
One of my favourite word is “embrace” (“peace” too..I wonder what it is about the “-ce” ending). It evokes so many lovely and comforting images for me: from the obvious - warm hugs – to the more personalized - soft cashmere pashminas and luxurious bubble baths. On Wednesday night, I came home after facilitating an Advisory Board session as part of my Board of Your Life program. I was reflecting upon the fantastic energy that was shared by that group and was sort of at a loss as I tried to get my head around what it was “like”. Then I received my Daily Om entitled “The Energy of an Embrace”. I realized right then, as hokey as it sounds, that this is what the program delivers…an emotional and intellectual embrace.
Take this excerpt: “Because a hug requires two active participants, each individual taking part in the embrace experiences the pleasure of being embraced and the joy that comes from hugging someone. As both individuals wrap their arms around one another, their energy blends together, and they experience a tangible feeling of togetherness that lingers long after physical contact has been broken.”
My program works on the same premise…two parties engaged: client trusting in their hand-picked Board and receiving their energy, support and knowledge, and Advisory Board honouring that trust, imparting their perspectives and insight and sharing in this person’s self-identified and desirable shift. And I get to be the lucky witness to this communion of energy. Divine.
My Mom had a lot of opinions about hugs. If you were going to bother hugging, then it ought to be a good one. The flaccid pat-pat on the back? Unacceptable. My husband learned pretty quickly what kinds of hugs would pass the muster in the Geisler family. Same deal here. If your intention as an Advisory Board member is to provide a pat on the back, thank you, but no need to bother. Someone who has asked you to participate is boldly stepping in a new direction and needs a firm embrace…”we are here…we will help you see what you are…we support you…we believe in you…we want whatever is best for you”.
And off the client goes…courageously but safe in the knowledge that that togetherness will be there long after the contact has been broken.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Being alive
I was recently introduced to the visual metaphor of living an alive life being akin to a heart monitor. The huge peaks and valleys means that your heart is well and full…BA-BOOMP, BA-BOOMP. Living a dull life means that you’re near the middle of the range…almost flat-lining (blip-blip, blip-blip). This is not usually for me.
So, the upside for me is that, well, I enjoy a lot of ups. The downside? You guessed it…there are some downs. Light and dark and all that jedi stuff.
I succumbed to the down over the weekend. Could have been be brought on by a number of things. But, I did allow myself to be self-indulgent. I felt sorry for myself and even had some tears (not that this would come as a surprise to anyone who’s ever met me). Don’t get me wrong, I think have a good cry is not only good for the soul, I think it’s a healthy physical release (my grandfather also had a theory about it releasing toxins during a cold too). Here’s the reason I’m impatient with myself:
On Friday night, my husband and I were invited to a stunning gala in support of the Credit Valley Hospital. We knew we were in for a fun martini bar and some good time to chat with our gracious hosts. That was all we were really expecting. Then it happened. I sat down next to Tony and Sharon Clark.
Tony and Sharon are like the prom King and Queen…just being near them makes you feel cool. And when Tony told me their story of how they met, I had no choice but to tell the 63-year old that he was like a 17-year old…devilish, filled with mischief and fun. I suspect he has always been like that.
Tony was diagnosed with kidney cancer in 2004 and was told in 2005 that he had one year to live. Since then, he founded Kidney Cancer Canada (with co-chair Deb Maskens) whose mission statement is as follows: “Our Mission as the first Canadian-based kidney cancer support group is to increase awareness about kidney cancer and provide timely information to patients and caregivers facing a diagnosis of kidney cancer.” You wouldn’t believe how far they’ve come in 2 years. It is astounding.
I was sad when Sharon and Tony had to leave on Friday night as I really enjoyed talking with them both…about life mostly. They had to leave early to get on with theirs.
Next morning, I googled them. Yup…I’ll admit that I do this when I meet interesting people. And I came across this quote from Tony: “I wake up each day and say, thank-you God. I’ve got another day. People are just so busy that they’re not enjoying the journey. They’re just trying to get to the destination.”
So I was pretty surprised when I found myself feeling sorry for myself yesterday afternoon when I got some disappointing news and allowed myself to have a weep…and actually heard my internal voice ask myself: “why do bad things happen to me?” After that question was asked, I stood up, shook my head, thought of Tony…and moved on.
Today, I’m home with my flu-ridden daughter. And though the day is disappointing for us both (she wanted to go to school and play, I wanted to get work done), we’re going to sip chamomile tea and watch the “Sound of Music”. And enjoy this journey. Today, in the mid-range, tomorrow in a peak or a valley. It won’t matter. Life is good. Living it is better.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Do Over Day
Today is "Do Over Day" in Canada. A day to atone for the mistakes we’ve made in the past by shouting them out as cautionary tales for others to heed. Yup…we have all had our days…am blushing right now just thinking about ALL of mine. And as a nation, it turns out that we don’t like to talk about our bad days…or so says the Founder of the day: “It struck me that Canadians inhabit a maze of social conundrums,” says Reggie. “On the one hand we think of ourselves as an easy-going, polite, even mild, people. But there’s also a passive-aggressiveness in Canadians that is tempered, thankfully, with a collective deep sense of embarrassment about our many flaws. That’s why we decided Canada needed Do Over Day, a notion resoundingly confirmed by the over four thousand focus groups we convened for this very purpose.”
So very very cool. And while the day is not rooted only in the sharing of flaws, but also the sharing of joys, it got me to thinking: How great would “Relive Your Perfect Day” be? I’m not quite ready to share the days I’d like to “do over” for my grievous mistakes, but I will joyously share my perfect day….stay tuned for www.reliveyourperfectday.ca...
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
A couple of perspectives on mucous
I have a tickle in my chest. It’s not nervous energy, nor a nagging feeling, nor love (though I have that in great abundance). Nope, this is good old fashioned phlegm. No violins are necessary….I pride myself on not being one who’s life shuts down with a cold. The flipside is that I don’t get people who refuse to take a reprieve from work etc when they are TRULY sick. It makes me want to be aware of the slippery slope that is the walk from stoicism to martyrdom.
It’s a dance that I’m all too familiar with…the idea of getting caught up in “doing the right thing…at whatever cost”. At first, people look at you with admiration for your courage, tenacity, strength (fill in the blank). This phase is one that I’m quite addicted to. Then those adoring looks turn to head shaking. I could do without that. What I love about colds (I never thought I’d write those words), is that they keep you honest. I’ve been on an emotional high for the past little while with no signs of letting up. But my body is saying “if you don’t slow down, you’re going to get the head-shaking of a lifetime…in the form of mucous” (BTW, I have many voices in my head…infer what you will…I choose to call them “perspectives”). So…I look at this upcoming day from two perspectives: “Wonder Woman” who can do it all without breaking a sweat and “Bubby Tanya” who nurtures and coddles. Wonder Woman will have me honour 7 of my 9 commitments today (one to a friend, two to family, three to clients, one to my business advisor) while Bubby Tanya will make sure I have a big helping of homemade chicken soup, go to bed early and “rest rest”.
I’ve heard said that you’re either moving towards or away from balance…and I don’t have the formula figured out in a real and practical way…but listening to my body is a pretty decent start.
And now I’m back off to bed.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.