Articles
When one door closes…
…it can get pretty stuffy in here. Sure, another door will open…we all know that. That’s why clichés have endured since the beginning of time. But really and truly, how much do you love being told some peppy platitude when you’re feeling kicked around?
The subject of trite clichés has come up a number of times over the past several days: in today’s Globe and Mail; in a conversation with a job-seeker who is less desperate to find work than she is to receive some MEANINGFUL input from friends and family; and finally, from a life coaching skeptic. He asked if coaching wasn’t really about “lobbing cream puffs like ‘every cloud has a silver lining’”. Ummm…sure it is…which is why it’s so effective.
Indeed, coaching is rooted in empowerment. Ergo…optimism (which is why it resonates so well with me). HOWEVER…no good coach worth his/her salt would suggest that if you’re handed a lemon that you should make lemonade. Why?
That’s called giving advice. We don’t do that. Consultants do. And it may or may not work as it may or may not be resonant with you. And besides, go ahead and try to make a living on 25 cents a glass.
What might we ask if you’ve been handed a lemon? What’s good, bad, ugly, or possible about this lemon? What’s available now that you have this lemon? Depending on the client, it could be the discovery that extract from the rind makes a wonder fertilizer for tropical plants, or perhaps it's the inspiration for a blockbuster movie....heck, it may even BE that making lemonade was an unrequited dream. And blessed be, if there’s nothing to the lemon for the client, they can choose to pitch the lemon...and what that action means to them. It’s about choice, learning and action. Not a cream puff in the mix.
So…if you really want to help a friend who’s lost a job, suffered a breakup or is generally in the dumps (oops…cliché alert), please don’t tell them to look on the bright side. If they’re important to you, feel the suckiness of their situation with them, ask how you can help (from a genuine and sincere place) and if that’s not possible, put them in touch with a life coach. I can hook you up.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Shiny happy jewellery
A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to attend the launch of SoloMag, the brainchild of Jacqueline Parker. More on that cool woman in a later blog posting. I am drawn to people who glow. Call it the law of attraction, call it what you will. As such, I was drawn to Monica Graves.
She is radiant as a baseline…but when she talks about her business, she pretty much hums. Why? Quite simply, she loves what she does. And she’s very good at it. Her company is glamjulz and she sells her stunning creations in over 100 stores across Canada.
Her Story
She started her first business at 16 painting t-shirts then moved on to painting murals but realized somewhere along the lines that these weren’t particularly lucrative. To supplement the income of her artistic pursuits, she took up some babysitting gigs. Believe it or not, that lead to an offer of work at Canada Post (time and time again…it’s who you know!). It wasn’t where she was planning on going in her career, but it certainly served a purpose. On the one hand, she recognized that she was denying her creative side, but on the other, the steady income was a toasty security blanket.
Along the way, she was offered a sales position with the organization and they encouraged her to go to business school.
Canada Post taught me about another side of myself…I already knew my artistic side pretty well. Art comes from within me and the more comfortable you are with something the easier it is to create. So for me, it’s pretty easy. Business lives on the other side of the brain and I found it was a new world of learnings.
I’m so happy that I was able to go to business school, thanks to Canada Post. If I had have pursued arts school, I’m really not sure where I’d be now.
Instead of letting the creative part of her lay dormant, she picked up the beading tools that she bought on a whim with a friend and started creating what she loved. Turns out, what she loved was what people wanted.
Before long, she had a sales person taking her creations to market and her husband was running glamjulz full-time. The pace of full days at Canada Post until 6pm and then creating stunning baubles until midnight started to take its toll on her well being.
Monica needed to take a step back and evaluate…and like all forks in the road, it was hard. On the one hand, she told herself that if she took the plunge full-time into glamjulz, she may well become the huge success that everyone around her told her she would be. On the other hand, who says no to Canada Post?
The Shift
Three years ago, pretty much out of the blue, Monica was offered a package. Even though on some level she believes she manifested the situation, she still felt the three “s’s” pretty acutely: surprised, shocked and scared. She was faced with the choice: “should I stay or should I go?” This is not a fun choice to make. Canada Post had been a grounding force in her life…and now it was slipping away.
After the offer was made, she spent some time comparing herself to those around her. Then, after some values assessment and soul-searching, she saw the situation for what it was…an opportunity. With the support of friends, family and a much bigger vision of where she wanted to go, she was able to see what was now available to her. She took the package and immersed herself fully into developing glamjulz into the going concern it is today. Her creations adorn the necks, wrists and earlobes of the likes of Fergie, Paris Hilton, Elisha Cuthbert…and after pilfering my jewellery box, my daughter too. Monica has a robust bridal consulting business and her work has been featured on shows like “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”.
I now have power and am doing what’s right for me.
Could this have all come together without the Canada Post package offered to her? Monica knows that she would have made the shift eventually. She would have found some way to make it work. Because, underneath it all, she gets the value of knowing her values. Her advice to others thinking about making the leap into a new business venture?
Know your values and rate them in priority. When things are thrown at you, you’ll know how to handle it. You also need to really believe in yourself. It’s how energy works…write your business plan like the success is already happening.
And for those people who want to make a shift but simply don’t know what that shift could be?
Go back to your childhood; tap into what excited you as a kid. Notice what it was that set you apart from everyone else. It’s knowing our differences that helps us to see who we are. Something in there is magical.
And in Monica Graves’ case, not just magical, but shiny and beautiful too.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Want to innovate but can't create?
Ever had what you thought was a brilliant idea? Ever spent a whole lot of time talking about it but not actually DOING anything about it? Ever spent so much time waiting for some sort of divine intervention that someone else bypassed you with the same idea because it was too good NOT to do? No? Well, I have. I called it a “Coffee Cuff”, which was an unclaimed name at the time. Aaaahhhh, the coffee cuff. So simple…so smart.
My husband actually came up with the idea back in 2001 on a long drive to the family cottage. “Why are coffee sleeves only intended for a single use and why can’t there be a non-disposable version?” This begat a cloth version in my mind which begat a beaded funky version (also in my mind) that people could wear as accessories. Distribution channels, market research, packaging, logos, pricing, marketing all became quite clear and crystallized (again, in my mind).
One problem…I know not thing one about sewing or beading. We bought a $300 sewing machine. I threw a piece of hemp at the machine, but low and behold, it simply wouldn’t make itself.
In the interim, I talked about the idea with anyone who would listen: Who knew what about patents? What were the market trends for coffee? How much would you be willing to pay for a coffee cuff? How would you distribute this? Who do we know at Starbucks HQ?
And still, no prototype. And then I got bored of talking about it…and the idea just kind of died away.
SHOULD you find yourself in the position of having a great idea that you want to get off the ground, you now have the luxury of living in the age of “micromanufacturing”. Create your design, upload it to a site like Ponoko, tell them what material you’d like it created in and they’ll produce it (to 1,000th-of-an-inch precision). You can then set up a store and sell it with Ponoko even taking care of credit-card billing and shipping.
Go ahead…check out “Coffee Coat”. I’m not bitter, really!
No need to cry in your latte for me. I’m wise enough to know that if I'm not moved to fight for something, there is an excellent chance it wasn’t really worth fighting for…likely because it wasn’t in sync with my values. My life purpose is less about innovative creations and more about helping people make powerful and transformative changes in their lives.
I’m right where I need to be right now.
But…if YOU are moved to innovate but lack the means to create…strike that off the list of why it can’t be done. It may not be divine intervention, but it is a kick in the butt.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
When support becomes a crutch
I am a huge proponent of hiring those who are simply “better” at certain tasks than me...and often encourage my clients to do the same. Case in point? I could run 100% of my business on my own. But not very well. As it stands, I have a bookkeeper, a business advisor, an accountability partner, a designer, a coach, a lawyer, and I’ll confess, my husband is my Chief Marketing Officer (the pay’s lousy but the executive retreats are lovely). I will be hiring a PR consultant, a web integrator, and a couple of other pros to help me continue to build my business and support my marketing efforts. Why in the world does a Coach and Program Facilitator need all of those people? Because I’m very good at what I do but NOT at what I don’t do. Nothing ground-breaking there.
Don’t get me wrong, I WISH I was more capable in the realms of social marketing, IP and accounting (ok, not really accounting). I was heartened when a colleague reminded me that the only reason I get hundreds of tweets a day by genius social marketers selling their “how-to reach your customers through twitter” tutorials is due to that fact that few really get how it all works (or so I keep telling myself). Cross that one off my list of things to feel badly about.
Here’s the challenge. While I have the muscles to do many of the tasks described above, they’re undeveloped and weak. So I lean on those who are strong in those areas. But by leaning on them too heavily, I’m not only NOT developing those muscles, but I’m actually sensing that they’re turning into flab. This means that I’m not as limber as I’d like…even in the areas where I feel most competent. When I have a brainwave these days, I feel a need to run it through my team…eliminating much of the spontaneity that has served me so well.
Ultimately, this smacks of an organizational challenge that I was bound to face any given day now. The balance is getting out of whack…and I don’t care for it one bit.
Now that the challenge has been identified here are some solutions for me to consider:
Remember why I’ve surrounded myself with my team of excellence;
Let them do what they do best, freeing me up to do my very best;
Continue to make decisions based on trusting my instincts and information provided by the experts;
Pick areas in my business that I’d like to understand better and build those muscles by asking the experts to tutor me and relinquish all areas that do not interest me (poor accounting); and,
Make mistakes frequently and learn from them.
I’m feeling stronger already.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Betty or Veronica?
After 67 years of playing the field in good ol’ Riverdale USA, Archie finally made his choice: that raven-haired vixen Veronica Lodge. Yup...he's asked her to marry him.
Are you surprised?
According to today’s Globe and Mail, 78% of their readers thought he should have picked Betty. 22% thought he made the right choice.
Why did the overwhelming majority vote in favour of Betty Cooper? I mean….she’s just the same drawing as VL but with blonde hair, right?
I think she represents some of the values that we cherish as a society: loyalty, kindness, generosity, wholesomeness. Veronica, on the other hand is rich, spoiled, unfeeling, uncaring and doesn’t use her manners. Boo hiss.
By picking Veronica, Archie is thumbing his nose at those tenets that we SAY we hold dear and embracing those that we find repugnant…but strangely compelling. He’s validating what we want to repress…good girls finish last…even hot ones.
As a good girl who does use her manners, is kind to the elderly and loves to cook, I of course sided with Betty…and if she really wanted to be with Archie, then so be it. Who am I to judge?
This is just “my stuff” but while I did hope that Veronica would end up with that lousy Reggie, I also secretly hoped Betty would run off and find someone far better than that dopey, fickle, tic-tac-toe-headed, jalopy-driving cheapskate. And while I would have loved for her to do so on her own terms, it’s not what life (or the fine people of Archie Comics Inc) had in store for her. But now she can do just that…find her own way without ever looking back and wondering “what if?”
I do so love happy endings.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Gardening for values
I celebrated the return of neck function by getting busy in my garden with my husband and daughter yesterday. Other than the “champagne problem” of getting sunblock in the eyes, it was a painless, productive and rewarding day. And fun! This morning as I enjoyed my coffee on the back deck and reveled in the rewards of several jobs done well, I realized why it was so satisfying to me. Pretty much every task spoke to my values.
Planting a Wisteria vine - Small, but beautiful. It will take four years for it to bloom, but I like putting down my roots and investing in the future.
Dividing hostas - Yeah yeah…I know we’re late to be doing this. In any case, by dividing hearty plants, it’s giving them room to breathe and thrive. And by proliferating, beauty is spread.
Planting annuals – This is not a good investment (see #1) but I like pretty, bright things…and am impatient for my perennials to flower (as are the bees).
Turfing unwanted plants – I know that the difference between a wildflower and a weed is mere desirability. I also know that I’ve spent the last six years since we’ve bought the house feeling duty-bound to see the beauty in some of these ghastly creatures. It was time to give myself permission…and boy howdy did it feel good. Every plant in the garden is now officially there because we want it to be. We will apply the same liberating logic to the invitation list of our next social gathering.
Planting vegetables I know will never yield a bite – I have never succeeded in serving a single tomato from my garden. Oh, I’ve grown them…but the moment they turn a pinkish hue, the animals of the ravine behind our house establish a war room to draft and execute a coordinated offensive attack on our backyard. I’m pretty sure they flip us the bird as they retreat. In spite of that, at my daughter’s insistence, we planted a bean and carrot patch. And a tomato plant. My husband is plotting some futile defensive measures (likely involving a broom handle and a helmet fashioned from our large colander) but the ravine beasties will nonetheless enjoy a satisfying reprieve from ransacking our garbage.
Seeding the lawn – this is my husband’s thing. He revels in lying on a patch of relatively lush green in our backyard on a sunny summer afternoon. It’s his way of celebrating the little patch of the world we can call our very own. Honouring his values honours mine. (However, our sandy soil is his perpetual white whale—he's giving it one more year before we completely naturalize.)
Sometimes a rose is just a rose. And sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s even more.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.