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The unsolved mystery of the stolen iPhone
It has finally happened. I, avid seeker of truth and resolver of mysteries have finally met one that shall remain unsolved…by my own design. My iPhone was stolen…then returned. How it was stolen, I am not sure; why it happened, I can guess (but may well be off-mark) and the wondrous part of the story; why it was returned, I think I’ll never know. Nor does it really matter.
Here’s what happened. I had not been feeling well and so after being diagnosed with a chest infection, I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled. I had my daughter, a plethora of parcels and a fever…instant recipe for at least one ball to be dropped (thankfully it wasn’t my daughter).
We returned home in a haze of hacking and stumbled into the house to get on with the night (which for me couldn’t end soon enough…my demeanor is less than gracious when ill). I went to retire on the early-ish side and went to recharge my phone. When it wasn’t in its one of ten usual spots (I’m organized like that), I called it. I do this often. What does NOT happen often, however, is that a man answers (who was not my husband). Dialogue went like this:
Me - Ummm…hello? Eloquent Man Who Answered My Phone (EMWAMP)– huh? Me – uh…hi…I…uh..think you might have my phone by accident. EMWAMP – No.. MY phone. Me – Oh really? What number did I just call then? EMWAMP – I dunno. Me – Well, I happen to know what I just dialed and it was my phone number so can you please do the decent thing and return…
CLICK
I feverishly hit “redial” and got my annoying outgoing message (good reminder to change that…have been meaning to do so!). And then I called again and again…and of course, he didn’t answer…he may not be eloquent, but at least *somewhat* clever.
I then proceeded to spend one hour with my cell provider working through a myriad of possibilities to resolve this mess (all which added up to a resolution costing $500, any way I sliced it...including breaking my contract). I kinda sorta blew my resolve to be kinder and gentler with customer care reps and in the end, we came up with a solution, albeit a rotten one. I was not satisfied, but at least clients could reach me once again…in three days.
And while I had the service blocked (from that moment he couldn’t call out OR receive incoming calls on my dime) all of my personal info was still on there…not to mention pictures of my daughter. Creepy. It was NOT a good night trying to fall asleep.
And yet, as I drifted off, I reflected on what all this meant:
My phone has become too important – I was reduced to tears at one point…this is not right. Tears are for love, joy, pain, and empathy. Not for plastic communication devices with fancy apps like UrbanSpoon and Pac Man.
My inability to keep it all together was heightened by my fever…this is lame and stupid. I should have not tried to juggle so much. A call to my loving support network to get the Px filled and daughter picked up would have meant that I was tending to what needed tending to…me.
As angry as I was with EMWAMP, I realized somewhere along the way that he may not have been altogether INTENTIONAL in taking it…it may have simply been a lark. A shiny curiosity for him that wasn’t linked to the consequences that it bore on my life.
I fell asleep with this thought: "this is a good world, tomorrow will be a good day" and I silently pleaded with EMWAMP to return my phone to me… no questions asked.
Next morning, my husband found my phone in the car. Just like that…sitting innocently on the passenger seat, patiently waiting to be noticed and returned to my loving embrace.
Was it taken from there as I forgot to lock the car last night and returned in a moment of remorse by EMWAMP? Did I imagine the conversation? A review of the call log revealed that I did not, in fact, imagine it…AND that EMWAMP made two calls (both local) at 6:04 and 6:49 before the block was imposed...not exactly a huge iPhone joyride for him.
As soon as I had the phone back in my hands, my thoughts IMMEDIATELY turned towards the punitive…I wanted blood. Revenge. I wanted to call the people on the call log and demand to know who this dastardly beast was who put me out and made me so bloody angry. And then, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror all miserable and scowly, and I laughed at the absurdity of it all.
It IS a good world. This IS a good day and it WAS returned to me. My end of the bargain needed to be upheld. No questions asked…and that includes “why”, “how” and “who”. The only important became “so what?”..and this needed to be asked of me.
In this day of enlightening and luscious tweeted quotes of Deepak, Buddha and Eckhart, one maxim persists: shit happens.
So what? What am I gonna learn from it? Well, I was reminded to: focus; lock my car (duh); password protect my phone; and, be present to what matters. EMWAMP may well have learned something too...or not. So what?
Relief in release.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
S-u-c-c-e-s-s (part deux)
Ya ya…oh so boring to hear about other people’s successes, right? Well, this one isn’t mine to share…it belongs to 29 amazing people who came out last night to try out a new experience…and resoundingly enjoyed it. Perspectives got shifted, relationships were forged and new possibilities were toasted. It was the first-ever Toronto Coach Buffet and it was delicious to witness. Thank you, wonderful Coaches and assistants, for showing Toronto what REALLY GOOD coaching can bring. And thank YOU, amazing participants, for being brave enough to show up with your full selves, prepared to do some hard work and have some fun in the process.
One of my favourite quotes from a participant: “Great event, well coordinated, fun, enlightening and risk free. Cool”.
Stay tuned to more Coach Buffets…across Canada and into the US in 2010. Hungry?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Talkin’ ‘Bout a Revolution
I don’t know a whole lot about revolutions, truth be told, but I assume that most revolutions start in the streets. Likely because that’s where life is: where humanity and inhumanity intersect in powerful and painful ways. Krystyn Heide started her revolution in lower Manhattan…in the middle of the street, natch. That day, she had found a hate letter directed at anyone who might give a homeless person some money AND was struck by the number of gawkers teeming outside the loft where Heather Ledger had been found dead.
Rather than allow the enormity of the negativity to overwhelm her, she decided in that moment to start her very own revolution: a Hope Revolution. The premise is simple and the impact is powerful: write and leave loving notes to by found by others. Nothing easier than that…ergo, pure genius.
Krystyn agreed to answer my questions...she's now officially my favourite resident of NYC.
When I think of hope, I always think of the advent wreath…can’t help it. The four candles signify hope, peace, joy, and love. You know lots about hope…what do you feel you know about the other three? One thing I tried to encourage in my first notes was to allow yourself simple moments just for you. My first messages were very simple: Listen. Breathe. Pause. I felt like they were things many people, especially myself, took for granted. When you don't make that time, you can become overwhelmed by the negative, and lose hope.
I look at peace, joy and love the same way. You have to make time to find them, every day, even in things as simple as a sunset or your kid's freckles.
Most beautiful hope note ever?
Hmm. A friend emailed me a pretty cool one recently:
But honestly, I've been moved to tears *many* times by photos or videos I've received. I think it's the act of participation, the kindred spirits I come across, more than the actual messages on the notes themselves.
What is so easy for you that you don’t even realize it’s your gift?
I can sing off key like no one can. Glasses spontaneously shatter and babies cry and dogs a mile away start howling. But I guess that wonks the second half of your question because I am fully aware that it's my gift.
You want people to write hope notes. What music do you want people to hear?
I've recently fallen in love again with Explosions in the Sky. I listened to them a lot around the time I created my first note, during a very low point in my life. Even on my worst days, I feel like their music is a reminder that there is still beauty in the world.
What’s the next revolution a-brewing?
I recently moved to New York, and while visiting the Statue of Liberty, a ranger told the history of how the city was built. Something he said that really resonated with me was "We do this not for ourselves, but for our children, and your children." I thought of men building the subway tunnels, the streets, the ports, the things we take for granted every day... not just for a paycheck, but because they had hope in the future. It really hit home.
So I've had an idea a-brewing in my head that's specific to the city. Notes for police officers, the people in the subway toll booths, the people that keep you safe or keep things running. The people who probably aren't thanked enough, if ever.
I'd like to maybe coordinate it in a few major cities, to all happen on the same day. But of course, people could participate on the local level anywhere if they wanted to.
**************************************** So, I have written and posted my first (of many) hope notes, and I intend to get the family in the game too. It lives on a bulletin board at our public school.
Finally, if nothing in this interview made you smile, please check out this vimeo of University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work students spreading hope by plastering hope notes around Houston. Set to Natalie Merchant’s Kind and Generous, it was a bone fide grin-fest for me.
Thank you Krystyn, for being a beacon of what is possible and for helping this in global shift in consciousness move along. With people like you, it may not progress at such a Jurassic pace after all.
And you, gentle reader, please join the revolution. Grab you favourite pen, conjure your inner peace-lover, tap into some creativity and love and get writing. The world needs it.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Keeping an eye on the prize (and the road)
Three words: Ophthalmic nurse truckers. Feel like you’ve seen and heard it all yet? Not even close. I love uncollapsing distinctions. My business partner Lisa is a hard-core business strategist…and a sultry tanguera. My husband is a corporate fund-raising genius who can drum Zeppelin’s The Ocean like it’s his…dare I say it? Job.
These are but a couple of people that I know who would love to somehow conjoin their loves with their work…and find ways to infuse the passions they feel for their loves in the everyday workday.
AND there is a merry band of ophthalmic nurses…(could this be more specific and specialized ?) that have found a way to merge their love of their cause (compassionate eye care for all) and their love of the road (I hear strains of the Everley Brothers…is that just me?).
So, imagine this: CNIB identifies the need for a public service for remote communities in northern Ontario. Specifically, eye assessments and treatments of certain diagnosed conditions. But, how do you provide the expertise of highly skilled specialists in places like Moosonee and Kapuskasing? No problem. Enlist the services of ophthalmologists from various Ontario cities and cart them around for eight months of the year in an 18-wheeler retrofitted like a medical clinic. They will service some patients by fitting them with new lenses. They will prescribe drops for early-stage glaucoma. And some will even perform on-the-spot surgery for minor conditions.
How do they get from A to B? The answer? Highly impassioned and qualified nurses who not only provide outstanding care for their patients, but ALSO have their truckers’ licenses so they can drive the whole show from town to town. HONK HONK. In my mind, I imagine the CNIB Eye Van missive goes something like this (and may well be something unrequited here for this trucking mama…though parallel parking often seems thrilling enough for me):
I’m gonna back off the hammer, for now. I’ve got a fat load of purpose and I’m going to have to log some z’s before next clinic.
Down’n gone.
CNIB has connected with Aviva Community Fund…a cool and novel way to reward fresh and innovative ideas (because let’s face it…golf classics are a bit of a snore) with new bucks. And boy howdy, is it needed.
Bravo, bravo, bravo to all of you ophthalmic trucking nurses! For finding a way to make it happen and for finding a way to make us care! We vote for you!
And for us mere mortals (or VW sedan drivers): as part of my quintessential questions, and even before I start coaching people, I ask them to identify what is so easy for them that they don’t even know it’s their gift.
So, I ask, what are YOU always being thanked for? How can you find a way to make that part of you that simply revel in, to merge with what you simply do…and even much much more?!
A cheesecake-baking personal trainer? Bring it! A eukele-playing librarian? Uh HUH!
Is there something ELSE that you’ve often wondered about but don’t quite GET how it fits tidily into your plan? (Hint…this may well be your personal brand of genius…RUN…don’t walk…towards it).
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
The Reframe
When I transferred from my old web site to my new (still shiny) site, I lost all of my emails. Every…last…one. Let me repeat: Every…last…one. After doing what every self-respecting Gen-X’er would do (going on Facebook to wittily bemoan my situation, which oddly enough, didn’t resolve the problem), I moved through the grieving process pretty quickly (am getting good at this):
Denial – No no, I’m sure it’s all still there. Let me close and open Outlook five to 25 more times…that oughta bring them back.
Anger – “Hello domain host provider…please tell me why my complete inbox has vanished and your explanation had better not start with ‘we told you to back everything up before your domain changeover’ because I am a woman on the verge here…oh no you didn’t just say that…let me speak to your supervisor… (note to self: be careful of this tendency to haul off on poor customer service reps…karma is a strange and powerful force)
Bargaining – Ok ok…if I don’t have the emails in my inbox, at LEAST let my sent emails be there….AAAACK (and back up to denial for a visit)
Depression – No words here…just the sound of me hitting the Hallowe’en candy but hard
Acceptance – I guess they’re all really gone. For good. Sigh.
Here’s where I thrive….it’s after acceptance. It’s my stage 6.
The reframe – Wow. Empty inbox. Huh. No more flagged important emails. I wonder how important they really were. Chances are, if I didn’t tend to them right away, they probably weren’t going to alter the course of anyone’s life. I literally have no one to answer to right now. This feels kinda nice. Freeing. Expansive. Spacious. Maybe I’ll make those calls I’ve been meaning to make…
Not bad for an hour and a half’s work of self-talk, eh?
I love nothing more than a good ol’ fashioned reframe…and let me be clear about what a reframe is NOT. It is NOT rooted in some type of Pollyana-esque eternal optimism, which can be painful to behold in large amounts (though a healthy dose of that never hurt anyone).
No, it’s actually deeply rooted in one magnificent trait: Curiosity. If this is a weak muscle for you, give it a stretch…especially if you fancy yourself an entrepreneur….you’ll need it.
It is quite simple and goes something like this:
“I wonder what’s available to me now?”
Want to give it a whirl? Some scenarios for you to try it out with:
Your boss wants to move you out of marketing and into sales. You hate sales.
Your business partner decides the new joint venture won’t work for her.
The book that lives in your heart simply can’t seem to find its way on to the pages. You are starting to think about scrapping the whole idea.
I see glorious possibility in all of these situations…if it’s hard for you, give me a call. We will find what is newly available, right and resonant for you…and move you into action.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
And, LAUNCH!!!!
Welcome to my new website! I am so thrilled that you’re here. Really, truly and sincerely. This “space” is an amalgam of tons of thought, designs and words turfed, and new possibilities realized and embraced. It marks the end of me hiding behind a clever concept and invites all that I am becoming. In this way, I am now free to live my own brand…sigh…that’s truly lovely for me to write. Getting to this launch was not without its own unique set of challenges. Not from my peeps, mind you. D’NA showed up in their glory and did the design, development, and photography in wicked time like the pros that they are. I was the challenge. My Type A side clashed mightily with my Type L (Lazy) side. At times I wanted to manage every minute detail and at other times, I wanted to just eat Cherry Garcia and have someone else sort out who and what I am.
I had intended to launch the new site by September 28 (as a birthday gift to myself). I am a month late. I am okay with that…ONLY because Type A reminds me what we’ve learned about launching can be shared with you all.
How to launch anything (your business, your book, your BIG idea, your plan, your new direction etc)
Connect with the WHY of what you’re about to do. What is the desired emotion of accomplishing what you’re about to launch. What’s it going to give you? Set your intention in stone and then don’t let it drop.
There are many steps to take when launching anything. You will get bogged down in the details if you so choose. Recognize that this is your prerogative. And as you put up road block after road block, ask yourself why you’re still in your own damned way. Then politely ask yourself to please get the hell off the road…progress wants to happen.
Stop waiting to be READY. You’re smart. You’ve done your due diligence. You know this idea of yours is viable, resonant and that the desired emotion gives you goosebumps. You are probably already 90% there. That’s an A plus grade…good enough to get into most colleges and universities for goodness sake, but not good enough for you, eh? GET OVER YOURSELF! The world wants you to unleash your own brand of genius on us all! If you wait for 100% ready the boat may have sailed…and you’re stuck alone at the port, champagne bottle unsmashed. Reserve the word “ready” for cooking chicken to make sure you’re not poisoning family and friends with salmonella.
Trust your instincts…you are wiser than you know. AND be prepared to turn on a dime… As Seth Godin says in his book, The Dip, “Fail fast.” Find the way to be attached to the plan and yet, NOT à la fois. This is the secret of the successful entrepreneur who knows all about dichotomies. Know that you can always reframe, repurpose and reinvent. Version 2.0 is always slicker, sharper, smarter and savvier. But there needed to be a 1.0 first. The heart of the idea will remain…it's the execution that may evolve.
So with this, I invite you to connect with what’s sitting at the very top of your heart…the thing that is ready to bust on out. It really wants to.
Again, welcome to my very own launch party. I am thrilled that you are here…please poke around, check out the pages and meet some people who have showed up for interviews.
And no party is complete without a loot bag…so before you go, please take this with you: to celebrate the launch of my website, I am offering twenty-five people who want to LAUNCH something (anything…big or small) a 45-minute coaching session. Just contact me and we can set it up. Please tell your friends.
Thanks for coming.
TG
PS – Oh...and while we’re celebrating, my dear friend Catherine Porter just launched her new column in The Toronto Star today – Woman’s Work. Funny, quirky, whip-smart and sleep-deprived…you’ll love her too.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.