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In the news...
...on the front page of the Globe and Mail Life section, to be exact. Lisa and I are pretty excited to get ANY exposure for Coach Buffet, let alone in my (admittedly) favourite section of Canada's largest-circulation national newspaper...pretty excited indeed. Come out and see what Coach Buffet is all about in January...in Toronto on the 26th and in Montreal on the 28th...and beyond that, stay tuned!!!
Zosia Bielski,Globe and Mail, December 1, 2009 - Speed-interviewing: On your marks, get set – hire!
A HUGE thank you to Communications Maven (and a neighbourhood friend) Sarah Kiriliuk for hooking us up in the first place with the Globe and Mail.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Give it away, give it away, give it away now
Libra, November 25, 2009 (Globe and Mail):
For best results you should adopt an easy come, easy go attitude, especially toward money. Chances are you will be too busy having fun to worry about where your next dollar is coming from. You know it will all come good in the end.
This is MY KIND of horoscope. An easy come, easy go attitude comes easily for me (heh heh).
It’s the giving it away part that I trip over. I am generous (some say to a fault…you know who you are). I say that I have much farther to go. Here’s what I’m learning.
The secret to generosity…the real, altruistic kind that actually counts for your karma kredit is…(lean in)…NON-ATTACHMENT.
We’re so focused on “what goes around, comes around” (and this we like to apply alternately to good AND evil). What if we just focused on giving it away (and here I mean the good…please) with no attachment to what we receive in return. What happens then? Flood? Locusts? Frogs falling from the sky? (Sorry…listening to Aimee Mann conjured up a Magnolia Moment).
Or something else?
Let’s try it on for size. (Hint: don’t worry about what will come back to you…that’s the real trick. TRUST and then let it go).
What you seek is PRECISELY that which will do you good to give away. Want money? Sponsor a jitney driver in the Philippines through Kiva. Want time? Give away an hour to the soup kitchen that needs you the most. Want peace? Bake some cookies and send some to the neighbour you’ve been feuding with over the mutual driveway. Want opportunities? Create some for others. Want praise? Find someone doing a damned fine job and tell them (I think I’m paraphrasing Jack Welch here).
There. I just gave you the key to money, time, peace, opportunities and praise.
In return, I want nothing...absolutely nothing.
Who do you admire?
This I believe with my heart and soul: who we admire speaks volumes about who we want to be in this world. I was reminded of this recently as I scribed my daughter’s letter to Santa:
Dear Santa –
I think you are inspiring. I like you a lot. I like how generous you are and how kind you are and how sweet and nice you are. I hope you have a lovely Christmas! I like your reindeers and I like your elves and I think your heart is very sweet and kind. I like you a lot and I love you and Christmas.
- From Lauren
At first glance, these are words from a 5-year old hankering for a very Littlest Pet Shop Christmas (Lord have mercy). But, if you know her, you’d know that she operates under the premise that the following are admirable qualities: inspiration, kindness, and generosity. These are traits that she asks about frequently. No wonder she digs on SC. He’s her benchmark of an evolved person…and as her mother, I couldn’t be prouder.
I tend to admire survivors who elevate our collective consciousness (Pema Chödrön comes to mind). I admire truth-tellers, visionaries, nice people and those committed to making this world a kinder, gentler place….and if they can make me laugh while they’re at it, then I’m hooked forever-more.
You are now privy to my innermost yearnings…the person that embodies those qualities is the person that I am WANTING to become…my authentic self. I have miles to go before I sleep, but I am gaining on it. Very happily.
And you, who do you admire?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
The unsolved mystery of the stolen iPhone
It has finally happened. I, avid seeker of truth and resolver of mysteries have finally met one that shall remain unsolved…by my own design. My iPhone was stolen…then returned. How it was stolen, I am not sure; why it happened, I can guess (but may well be off-mark) and the wondrous part of the story; why it was returned, I think I’ll never know. Nor does it really matter.
Here’s what happened. I had not been feeling well and so after being diagnosed with a chest infection, I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled. I had my daughter, a plethora of parcels and a fever…instant recipe for at least one ball to be dropped (thankfully it wasn’t my daughter).
We returned home in a haze of hacking and stumbled into the house to get on with the night (which for me couldn’t end soon enough…my demeanor is less than gracious when ill). I went to retire on the early-ish side and went to recharge my phone. When it wasn’t in its one of ten usual spots (I’m organized like that), I called it. I do this often. What does NOT happen often, however, is that a man answers (who was not my husband). Dialogue went like this:
Me - Ummm…hello? Eloquent Man Who Answered My Phone (EMWAMP)– huh? Me – uh…hi…I…uh..think you might have my phone by accident. EMWAMP – No.. MY phone. Me – Oh really? What number did I just call then? EMWAMP – I dunno. Me – Well, I happen to know what I just dialed and it was my phone number so can you please do the decent thing and return…
CLICK
I feverishly hit “redial” and got my annoying outgoing message (good reminder to change that…have been meaning to do so!). And then I called again and again…and of course, he didn’t answer…he may not be eloquent, but at least *somewhat* clever.
I then proceeded to spend one hour with my cell provider working through a myriad of possibilities to resolve this mess (all which added up to a resolution costing $500, any way I sliced it...including breaking my contract). I kinda sorta blew my resolve to be kinder and gentler with customer care reps and in the end, we came up with a solution, albeit a rotten one. I was not satisfied, but at least clients could reach me once again…in three days.
And while I had the service blocked (from that moment he couldn’t call out OR receive incoming calls on my dime) all of my personal info was still on there…not to mention pictures of my daughter. Creepy. It was NOT a good night trying to fall asleep.
And yet, as I drifted off, I reflected on what all this meant:
My phone has become too important – I was reduced to tears at one point…this is not right. Tears are for love, joy, pain, and empathy. Not for plastic communication devices with fancy apps like UrbanSpoon and Pac Man.
My inability to keep it all together was heightened by my fever…this is lame and stupid. I should have not tried to juggle so much. A call to my loving support network to get the Px filled and daughter picked up would have meant that I was tending to what needed tending to…me.
As angry as I was with EMWAMP, I realized somewhere along the way that he may not have been altogether INTENTIONAL in taking it…it may have simply been a lark. A shiny curiosity for him that wasn’t linked to the consequences that it bore on my life.
I fell asleep with this thought: "this is a good world, tomorrow will be a good day" and I silently pleaded with EMWAMP to return my phone to me… no questions asked.
Next morning, my husband found my phone in the car. Just like that…sitting innocently on the passenger seat, patiently waiting to be noticed and returned to my loving embrace.
Was it taken from there as I forgot to lock the car last night and returned in a moment of remorse by EMWAMP? Did I imagine the conversation? A review of the call log revealed that I did not, in fact, imagine it…AND that EMWAMP made two calls (both local) at 6:04 and 6:49 before the block was imposed...not exactly a huge iPhone joyride for him.
As soon as I had the phone back in my hands, my thoughts IMMEDIATELY turned towards the punitive…I wanted blood. Revenge. I wanted to call the people on the call log and demand to know who this dastardly beast was who put me out and made me so bloody angry. And then, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror all miserable and scowly, and I laughed at the absurdity of it all.
It IS a good world. This IS a good day and it WAS returned to me. My end of the bargain needed to be upheld. No questions asked…and that includes “why”, “how” and “who”. The only important became “so what?”..and this needed to be asked of me.
In this day of enlightening and luscious tweeted quotes of Deepak, Buddha and Eckhart, one maxim persists: shit happens.
So what? What am I gonna learn from it? Well, I was reminded to: focus; lock my car (duh); password protect my phone; and, be present to what matters. EMWAMP may well have learned something too...or not. So what?
Relief in release.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
S-u-c-c-e-s-s (part deux)
Ya ya…oh so boring to hear about other people’s successes, right? Well, this one isn’t mine to share…it belongs to 29 amazing people who came out last night to try out a new experience…and resoundingly enjoyed it. Perspectives got shifted, relationships were forged and new possibilities were toasted. It was the first-ever Toronto Coach Buffet and it was delicious to witness. Thank you, wonderful Coaches and assistants, for showing Toronto what REALLY GOOD coaching can bring. And thank YOU, amazing participants, for being brave enough to show up with your full selves, prepared to do some hard work and have some fun in the process.
One of my favourite quotes from a participant: “Great event, well coordinated, fun, enlightening and risk free. Cool”.
Stay tuned to more Coach Buffets…across Canada and into the US in 2010. Hungry?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Talkin’ ‘Bout a Revolution
I don’t know a whole lot about revolutions, truth be told, but I assume that most revolutions start in the streets. Likely because that’s where life is: where humanity and inhumanity intersect in powerful and painful ways. Krystyn Heide started her revolution in lower Manhattan…in the middle of the street, natch. That day, she had found a hate letter directed at anyone who might give a homeless person some money AND was struck by the number of gawkers teeming outside the loft where Heather Ledger had been found dead.
Rather than allow the enormity of the negativity to overwhelm her, she decided in that moment to start her very own revolution: a Hope Revolution. The premise is simple and the impact is powerful: write and leave loving notes to by found by others. Nothing easier than that…ergo, pure genius.
Krystyn agreed to answer my questions...she's now officially my favourite resident of NYC.
When I think of hope, I always think of the advent wreath…can’t help it. The four candles signify hope, peace, joy, and love. You know lots about hope…what do you feel you know about the other three? One thing I tried to encourage in my first notes was to allow yourself simple moments just for you. My first messages were very simple: Listen. Breathe. Pause. I felt like they were things many people, especially myself, took for granted. When you don't make that time, you can become overwhelmed by the negative, and lose hope.
I look at peace, joy and love the same way. You have to make time to find them, every day, even in things as simple as a sunset or your kid's freckles.
Most beautiful hope note ever?
Hmm. A friend emailed me a pretty cool one recently:
But honestly, I've been moved to tears *many* times by photos or videos I've received. I think it's the act of participation, the kindred spirits I come across, more than the actual messages on the notes themselves.
What is so easy for you that you don’t even realize it’s your gift?
I can sing off key like no one can. Glasses spontaneously shatter and babies cry and dogs a mile away start howling. But I guess that wonks the second half of your question because I am fully aware that it's my gift.
You want people to write hope notes. What music do you want people to hear?
I've recently fallen in love again with Explosions in the Sky. I listened to them a lot around the time I created my first note, during a very low point in my life. Even on my worst days, I feel like their music is a reminder that there is still beauty in the world.
What’s the next revolution a-brewing?
I recently moved to New York, and while visiting the Statue of Liberty, a ranger told the history of how the city was built. Something he said that really resonated with me was "We do this not for ourselves, but for our children, and your children." I thought of men building the subway tunnels, the streets, the ports, the things we take for granted every day... not just for a paycheck, but because they had hope in the future. It really hit home.
So I've had an idea a-brewing in my head that's specific to the city. Notes for police officers, the people in the subway toll booths, the people that keep you safe or keep things running. The people who probably aren't thanked enough, if ever.
I'd like to maybe coordinate it in a few major cities, to all happen on the same day. But of course, people could participate on the local level anywhere if they wanted to.
**************************************** So, I have written and posted my first (of many) hope notes, and I intend to get the family in the game too. It lives on a bulletin board at our public school.
Finally, if nothing in this interview made you smile, please check out this vimeo of University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work students spreading hope by plastering hope notes around Houston. Set to Natalie Merchant’s Kind and Generous, it was a bone fide grin-fest for me.
Thank you Krystyn, for being a beacon of what is possible and for helping this in global shift in consciousness move along. With people like you, it may not progress at such a Jurassic pace after all.
And you, gentle reader, please join the revolution. Grab you favourite pen, conjure your inner peace-lover, tap into some creativity and love and get writing. The world needs it.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.