Articles
Three Little Words
I love you. Are there any words more powerful than those? When they’re backed with full intention, they can end wars and ignite flames. When they are not backed with full intention, they are a heart-wrenching lie. The stuff that starts wars.
I know some other pretty powerful three-word combos. YOUR three words for the New Year. You’ve heard Chris Brogan talk about them for a while now. They are like guideposts for your year to come. Touchstones of inspiration. Beams of clarity.
Being clear about what we want is the surest way to gain on it. And I’m with Martha Beck in my belief that knowing what we want has a lot less to do with outcomes than with feelings. So this year, in the year-end completion and new-year welcoming tool I share with clients, I asked:
What three adjectives do you want to feel as you lay your head down on your pillow every single night of 2011?
_____________, ________________, and ________________.
Be with that a moment, will you?
How do I want to feel? Every night before I go to bed?
Me? Well, since you asked (thanks), I choose to feel: masterful, vital and nourished.
They may mean nothing to you, yet here's what these simple yet powerful words conjure for me:
Masterful - authority, immersion, depth, roots, refinement, elegance, enduring
Vital – energized, sensual, resonance, important, joyful, light, jubilation, laughter, wonder, connected
Nourished – satiated, serene, honoured, healthy, full, enough, quality
Hubba hubba whoo whoo!!!
These words have EVERYTHING to do with my personal and professional goals for the year. They will help inform every decision I make because every action moves me towards or away from these three words.
Will working on this new project lead me towards or away from mastery? Will working with this person make me feel more vital, or less so? Does this new book nourish my mind, body and/or spirit or is it the Kraft Dinner equivalent?
Of course, there is not absolute “right” answer. My intuition will be the Ultimate Guide here, as ever. But even the finest of Guides appreciate guideposts from which to orient the path.
And if I don’t feel nourished, masterful or vital as I lay my head on my pillow, I get to try again tomorrow.
Let’s find yours
If you didn’t land immediately on the three words to describe how you want to wish to FEEL every night, then you may choose to sink into some of your values that are begging to be honoured.
I notice that my words represent in part my Future Self. The person I am becoming, the one I know awaits me in 20 years. May be the same for you. They may also be traits of someone you admire.
Whatever you land on, please make sure they are steamy for you. That you LOVE them in that blushing, hot under the collar way that a well-intended “I love you” makes you feel. Please make sure they are resonant and truthful. Otherwise, they are impotent lies. And who needs that?
A final word about love. Because really and truly, finding your words is a powerful exercise in self-love. Creating the year that YOU want. One decision at a time.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
My wishes for you
May your days be filled with warmth and love. May your mind be filled with curious wonder.
May your heart be filled with joy.
May you realize all that your heart desires this coming year.
With love, gratitude and respect,
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
A good swift kick in the awakening
Signs, messages, prompts, signals - they’re everywhere. Some we choose to ignore and some we allow to wake us up. Earlier this week, I broke front door lock with my key. Standing on the front porch with our daughter in sub-zero weather, a tsunami of rage engulfed me: I had THINGS to do, DAMMIT! Had to get things DONE before I went out with a girlfriend for cocktails. HAD to get reading done with my daughter. Had emails to return and couldn’t get them done on my iPhone with frozen fingers. I didn’t have time for this crap…and being cold SUCKS!
Then this thought stilled me:
Being cold and having no place to live sucks even more.
As I fumbled around in the relative warmth of my neighbour’s garage searching for the spare key for another door to my house, I became painfully aware that there is an unacceptable amount of people without heat, shelter and hope…everywhere. No neighbours, locksmiths and spouses on the other end of the phone, intending to make it all okay.
This is not new information…this is awakened information. Within me.
Twenty minutes later, I was in my warm house, hot chocolate on the stove, and sniffly noses blown. I didn’t know where to put this all so I logged on to Tweetdeck to share:
Broke door lock. Wait in cold w/ kid for 20 min for locksmith was reminder I needed to do my part for TO's homeless. Hate that I needed it.
That prompted a message from a Reverend letting me know about a need for volunteers in her church’s Out of the Cold program. Which prompted another friend to commit to volunteering there. And the messages, emails and invitations to collaborate on programs haven’t stopped. (More on what I decide to do in a later post.)
Here’s what I’m learning:
Any time you hear yourself saying “this was the kick in the ass that I needed” to:
start volunteering;
get my finances in order;
sort out my trouble relationship with my mom; or,
lose weight,
what you’re really saying is: I was sleeping, and I’m awake now.
If you’re feeling done with stumbling around, sleepily looking for the keys in your life, and waiting to get your ass kicked into gear, here's a less painful way to wake up...one that I intend to heed with greater attention. Keep the important things top of mind (like these things and your values).
You'll awaken what needs attention.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Giving thanks, for a joyful, ordinary week
I try. I really, really do try. To get it right. To be present. To be aware. To be grateful. To say thanks and give thanks. I write about how I’d like to binge less with life’s gooooooooood things and find a more moderate way. Sometimes I get it right, and other times...well, less so.
Although this post may well be precipitated by my American friends’ Thanksgiving (hellooooo!!!!) it’s a regular old Friday here in Toronto. In an otherwise ordinary day what better time to recap what’s going right?
Here’s what brought me joy this week:
Monday morning - Huge heart to heart hug with my Lisa before she headed back home to Montreal after a memorable weekend-long visit.
Monday afternoon - Meeting with new mentee (excited about her vision) and breakthrough with a client (shifts ahoy!)
Monday evening - Deep belly laughs at the launch party of 85 Broads Toronto, led by laughologist Albert Nerenberg (thinking of hosting a laughter party…who wants in?)
Tuesday morning - This image of my daughter’s arranged stuffies. Place of honour goes to Skippy, the beloved stuffed dog from my mother’s childhood, revered by my daughter as a sort of connection to a grandmother she never really knew. Doesn’t he look safe and loved?
Tuesday afternoon - Completion session with a client I adore that is ready to embark on something new and glorious. Sad AND joyful at the same time.
Wednesday - Three new people coming to Clarity Hour (every Wednesday at 12 EST, I coach three people for free on any business life issue) I love the expansiveness of it. And never really knowing who’ll show up AND not being attached to outcome.
Wednesday afternoon - Watching my daughter at gymnastics. I know those legs will be long, lean and strong soon, and for the moment, it brings me joy to know that there is still some baby fat there…she’s not done being 6 and a half after all.
Wednesday evening - Wine with husband over pasta he made, and many, MANY laughs (though NOT over after-dinner “Santa Buddies”…that was more like eye-rolling. Seriously, George Wendt…how COULD you?)
Thursday morning - Volunteering in my daughter’s classroom then meeting Jamie for a cozy coffee, scones and good, goooooooood talks. Time with her makes me feel like this scone looks.
Thursday evening - Speaking at Fabulous Katia’s Fabulous event and helping some amazing women find a way to evoke meaningful conversations leading to meaningful connections. It was a luscious experience.
Today - This and that.
A week of connection, laughter, hugs and food. Yup, that pretty much sums up how I like to roll. Add to the above 5 trips to the gym, 7 other coaching sessions, lots of writing done and 2011 planning well underway and that makes for one pretty incredible ordinary week.
Easy to forget all of this when you’re mired in kids’ fevers, the knowledge that the snow tires need to get changed, billing mistakes, dishwashers to be fixed, and more balls to be juggled. And you know what? It’s easy to remember too.
So here it is: I am privileged beyond words and profoundly grateful for every gift. For everything stated above, and well beyond. For the peace we enjoy, the food, the warmth, the shelter, the education and the opportunities.
And for you. Thank you. For caring. For reading. For being here. And for being you.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Ask Yourself
“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ― Howard Thurman
Ask yourself what people thank you for.
Ask yourself what makes you feel strong.
Ask yourself what it feels like to be your most powerful you.
Ask yourself when you are most in flow.
Ask yourself what you want to be done with.
Ask yourself what makes your heart sing.
Ask yourself what would make this very moment off-the-charts fabulous.
Ask yourself what needs forgiveness.
Ask yourself what one change you are willing to make in this moment.
Ask yourself what you want more of.
Ask yourself what you know to be true.
Ask yourself what is burning to be released from your heart.
Ask yourself who you get to be.
Ask yourself what is in your way.
Ask yourself who will benefit from you coming alive.
Ask yourself if you are ready.
Now. Please go and do it. We’ve been waiting for you.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
An open apology to my beloved blog
Dear Blog - I have been remiss in making time for you. I have made other things more important: my clients, facilitating workshops, speaking, developing programs, the gym, volunteering in the kid’s classroom, etc. Oh yes, I have excuses…great ones, in fact, about where my time and energy has gone.
And when all the excuses are laid out in a pleasing array of colour and textures on the carpet in my office, they really are quite convincing. And they continue to be just be that…excuses.
So, for that, I am sorry. I KNOW better.
It’s not you. It’s me. Clearly. And just so you know, I’ve not gone and done something irresponsible like replacing you with some younger, hipper, slimmer, 140-character version of you.
When everything is said and done, I own that I have two ways of viewing you: one is that you are my Pensieve. A privileged way for me to store my thought. To play with them and explore what they mean for me, and how what I am learning might serve others.
This is the way in which I love you. With full heart and abandon.
The other way is the dissonant, “should”-laden perspective. I should have a blog, they say. I should write to it every week, they say*. Twice, in fact, if I’m worth my salt. And NOT writing twice a week means I’m not worth my salt (whatever the hell THAT means).
So I sit down at my MacBook to write a post…because I SHOULD. It says so in my calendar - I’m a day late, in fact. And the head saboteur takes note and starts to hold court for a while as the other saboteurs start to file in…one by one. The first one to speak says: “sure, she SHOULD write a post…but who the hell cares what she has to say?” Well, that gets everyone else going: “she isn’t a WRITER, she’s a COACH…she CAN’T write”; “well, she CAN write, but should she be?”; “she has nothing to say that hasn’t been said by thousands better and smarter than her”; and so on.
And lo and behold, nothing gets written. The gym starts to look pretty compelling.
I’m done stating my case. Because I’m bored of stating my case to you, dear blog. And I am CERTAINLY done with should-ing all over you.
I know I have choice in how I relate to you.
I am sorry that I have ever treated you as a marketing tool. You are so, SO much more to me than that. Back I go to that resonant place of writing like no one’s watching.
With huge love and renewed commitment,
Tanya
* They also say one should NEVER apologize for not writing. See, that’s simply NOT how I roll.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.