Articles
Thing Finding Thursday With Jenny Blake
What's Your Thing?
I admit it: it's a fascination. A necessity. A mission.
I found my thing - and kapow! finding my thing was a game-changer, a life-changer - and over and over again, that's what clients come to me for: help figuring out what they want to do with this one wild and precious life.
Again: necessary. A mission. For you and me.
So if you're asking yourself "What's my thing?", then Thing-Finding Thursday is for you...and we're kicking it off college and closets and cupcakes, oh my!
In other words, I talked to Jenny Blake. Jenny Blake is a popular blogger and life coachess with the mostess (umm, my words, that probably wasn't in her official bio), creator of Make Sh*t Happen, an eight week course where you take your "improbable idea and turn it into inevitable success", and author of Life After College, a book she describes as what happens when Twitter meets What Color is Your Parachute. It's part journal, part motivator, and part guidebook, and all useful - like having a life coach in your purse. If you're carrying the book around in your bag...and you'll want to.
And oh yeah, Jenny worked for a lil' company you might have heard of. Google. Which she loved...and helped her find her way to her thing, which is coaching. So she knows a little sumthin' sumthin' about life-changing, "soul-stirring" decisions.
That's why I had to talk to her for Thing Finding Thursday - and why I think you'll connect with what she has to say about how you can find your thing.
I love it when it's simple: what do you really want?
Or maybe it's the question that is simple, because the response is magnificent. When you answer it - with words, spirit, action - the joy begins.
So keep asking it. Every time you ask it of yourself, you'll get a little closer to your thing.
And I'll keep asking it, too. Every Thing Finding Thursday.
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Transcript for your reading pleasure
Tanya: So, Jenny Blake, how did you find your thing?
Jenny: I found my thing – I use this analogy that it’s like revamping your wardrobe – I had started working at a startup company out of school and little by little I just, it’s like cleaning out your closet, where I looked at the things that I was doing in my day to day job, what I really enjoyed and how I could do more of it and what I was not so happy with and how I could get rid of it or offload that or move into something else. And that kind of took me along this path of working at a startup company doing online advertising, managing our websites, managing the office, into Google where I started delivering AdWords product training. I realized I loved working with people but I was sick of talking about AdWords.
Tanya: Right.
Jenny: I eventually found coaching and then from coaching it led me to my two parallel lives of eventually making it onto the current development team at Google, and also starting my own blog, which was truly where I really get to express myself and explore what I’m most passionate about. And that blog has since led to the book, Life After College: The Complete Guide to Getting What You Want.
Tanya: We can see what your thing is. Like, this is where you are really lit up.
Tanya: And then, so you’re in this illustrious university and you’re sort of partway through your studies and doing really well because you’re Jenny Blake and you do really well. And so, halfway through this is when you decided to go for the startup. Right?
Jenny: Yeah.
Tanya: So, you and I like to use coach-y words like “values.” So what? You know, just because it was a zigzag. It was a zag, I guess, when you could have zigged or whatever, but you when over here. What values were you honoring in that moment for making this pretty bold decision?
Jenny: What an amazing question. No one’s ever asked me that before. The values that it honored for me were growth. I knew that I had been working with this professor, when she offered me the job I knew that the potential for my own personal growth was going to be astronomical being the first employee at this company.
And possibility, and that feeling that I was really going to be challenging myself.
Almost too, part of it was like, I have a value around independence and with trusting my gut, and I think a big part of it was I just knew I would regret saying no. But there wasn’t really a scenario in which I could see myself regretting saying yes and just giving it a shot.
Tanya: Two things are showing up here too. One of them that probably makes you a hellaciously awesome coach is that your intuitions are really, really, really strong right, so that’s awesome. And second is clearly ease. Like, what I’m loving about this is that there really doesn’t seem to be a lot of struggle.
Jenny: Yeah. And I think it’s just creating the space, and then listening for things to happen and sometimes I listen better than others and sometimes I have what I refer to as my, “Universe smacks me upside the head” moments where it’s like I haven’t gotten the signs early enough. But we all figure it out eventually.
Tanya: Absolutely. Okay, so let’s not be afraid of walls. Walls create clarity. Like, we get really clear on what we don’t want, right?
Jenny: One of my favorite quotes is, “You have to say no to the good so that you can say yes to the great.” Sometimes you’re saying no to a good job or a good opportunity, but for you as an individual or for me, it’s not great. It’s not soul stirring.
Tanya: I had this conversation fairly recently with somebody and she was saying, “Don’t say yes to your good ideas. Say yes to your genius ideas.”
Tanya: Oh, yeah baby!
Tanya: There is a question that you and I both know is like, the key to everything and that is, “What do I really want?” So why is it such a hard question for people to answer? Some of the viewers right now are sort of thinking, “If I knew what I want I’d be going for it.”
Jenny: “I wouldn’t be here!”
Tanya: That’s right! So why is it such a hard question? What’s wrapped up in, “What do I want?”
Jenny: In my thinking, there’s two things going on. One, that question is like a layer cake. And I love cupcakes so I’m just going to go with the cake metaphor that we can ask, “What do I really want?” And it’s not the first answer or the second or the third, sometimes it’s the tenth time in a row that we’ve had to ask that we really figure it out.
Another, when I’m teaching coaching I use the metaphor of a tree. And the first time we say, “What do I really want?” it’s the roots. We’re getting at the surface. But every time we ask that question again and again we’re getting really deep, deep, deep into the very lowermost roots of the tree. And I think sometimes people give up at the first surface level answers that come up. “What do I really want? A good job.” Okay, what’s important to you about that? Like all these questions that you and I use all the time, but I think people stop too soon and don’t give themselves the space.
And then I think a second barrier is exactly what we were talking about, about having to throw things away. Sometimes in order to admit what we really want there are some scary questions that we don’t know how to answer yet about are we going to disappoint someone or do we have to let something go. Sometimes I think it’s just too scary and we don’t want to look under the hood at that moment.
Tanya: In this kind of work a lot of saboteurs do tend to show up.
Jenny: Yeah, raging.
Tanya: Well, there’s a lot of, “Why haven’t you figured this out yet?” So, a lot of judgment, a lot of judgment.
Jenny: Right. Everyone else has figured it out.
Tanya: Yeah, what’s wrong with you?
Jenny: Totally.
Tanya: What other saboteurs do you think show up when people are trying to find their thing, and what kind of swords can we give them?
Jenny: First of all, I’m so glad that you asked this because inner critics exist, and we all have them and those of us that beat ourselves up because we have them, we’re missing the point that it’s like, part of the human condition for some odd reason, that we have these. And one of the exercises in my book, I call it the “Inner Critic Inventory.” I always tell people when you have this rushing wave of inner critics, first of all it’s a sign that you’re on exactly the right track, and second there’s information there.
You’re too old, you’re too young. I think a lot of times, when we’re answering the specific question, “What do I really want?” or, “What am I most passionate about?” it’s like, “Well, am I even capable of that? Is that possible?” I had a coach tell me, “Don’t get caught up in the tyranny of the hows.” We get so worried about how. “Well, if I want to be a blogger, how do I set up a blog, and how do I get started, and how do I build an audience?” And the noise level there becomes so high that we’re paralyzed out of taking action.
Tanya: And the inventory. I mean, I think it’s really cathartic stuff to have people sort of start to identify, and then even personify them a little bit. So you really have a sense of, “Oh, that’s Bertha. That’s Bertha, oh yeah bring it Bertha! What do you got to say today, Bertha?”
Jenny: And there’s a quote I read somewhere that I loved too, that “intelligence is about knowing what questions to ask.” It’s not necessarily having the answers yet. So I love that idea that, if we can at least just frame up the questions: “What do I really want? What do I most desire?”, that we are more than halfway there.
Tanya: Oh, yes baby! Thank you, thank you! Jenny, one final, where can people find you?
Jenny: You can find me, my blog is lifeaftercollege.org, the website for the book is lacbook.com, and I’m on Twitter @jenny_blake. I would love to hear from any and all of you, so thanks so much Tanya for having me.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
NEW! Thing Finding Thursday
Hello Lovelies, Been immersed in researching for a new offer that I'm developing. {Top secret.} Noooooo it's not. It's fully not. It's about finding your THING. The thing that feels like your purpose. The thing that has you living your values. The thing that makes you shout that effusive, OHHHH YES!!!
It's starts this Thursday. Make sure you sign up for my posts (if you haven't already). Some great people and fun things are coming to this space.
Promise.
PS - and that cutie tabby-siamese in the background? That's Ramona...she also wants you to find your Thing. We all do. XO
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
My road to coachdom, and introducing Kate's "The Coaching Blueprint"
A long time ago, I was in a rather, shall we say, “unfulfilling” career. Plenty of good stuff, to be sure, like, ummm, a steady paycheck and no-guilt breaks to grab a Starbucks with a colleague, wherein we’d complain and natter about our meany boss and how under-appreciated we were. My husband would pick me up at the end of the day, and I’d continue my tale of woe-is-me. (Sidebar: I was a real joy to be married to.)
Rinse and repeat.
I climbed the ladder. I got paid more. And then more. And things were supposed to be good. ‘Cause good bucks = good career, right?
And then the complaints would evolve slightly. Under-appreciative bosses would be the main course, with a sprinkling of whining about the art department, and a side of unreasonable clients. And there would be cocktails at the end of the day. Often many.
Rinse and repeat.
The year that our daughter was born (2004), my mother passed away. And in that time of life and death, it became crystal, CRYSTAL clear: my mom’s mantra “don’t postpone joy” wasn’t just a pretty catch phrase; it was the secret to personal fulfillment.
We are meant to live joyfully. We are meant to live FULL lives…not just after 5pm.
It’s a sin that it took her passing for me to face it, but as we know, life wakes you up when you need it most, whether you’re ready or not.
Let me say this: I am incredibly grateful to my time in my former career. If I fumbled along too long, not questioning what I was truly called to do, I was simply being a martyr. And fearful of change.
And so because I was so clear about what I enjoyed about work in that career (thrills, creativity, leadership, collaboration) AND what I didn’t enjoy (micro-management…mine and others’, dissonant project work, etc) it made my “what’s next” option a whole lot juicier.
In that process, I developed the Board of Your Life program when I realized there were many, many like me, successful in careers and scared to leave for fear of what might be next. It’s an incredibly powerful and supportive program that to this day makes me proud to have conceived it.
In that process, I realized I was a Coach. Always had been, always will be.
And the angels sang.
My heart was bursting with joy that I could apply all of my favourite skills, help people’s lives immensely, witness cathartic breakthroughs, help mend marriages, forge incredible businesses and have people live their truths. AND GET PAID FOR IT.
So, I trained with CTI, became certified and started a business. Just like that.
Except, the “starting a business” part wasn’t “just like that.”
It was hard. And scary. And uncertain. And confusing. How much to charge? Board of Trade? Niche? Target market? Which events to focus on? How much time+money on marketing? EVERYONE SAYS I’M A FABULOUS COACH SO WHY AM I NOT MAKING ANY DAMNED MONEY?!
But my love of coaching sustained me. And a hellaciously supportive network.
What I was yearning for was a Blueprint. The Coaching Blueprint. That Kate Swoboda…she’s a smart cookie. She done did it.
And if you’re a new coach, this is a fabulous e-book resource for you. Kate pulls back the curtain on how to build a sustainable coaching practice because, in her words, “you did not leave a job that was not fulfilling you only to start working in another field and then have that not fulfill you”.
True dat.
It is a HUGE feather in my cap that I am one of the coaches she interviewed (and a proud affiliate, to boot) along with these folks that I admire: Julie Daley, Jamie Ridler, Dyana Valentine, Michael Bungay Stanier, Pam Slim, Tara Sophia Mohr, Tara Gentile, Jennifer Lee, Michelle Ward, Bridget PilloudandSteve Bearman.
You can pre-order it now for some fun extras (including a 60-day membership workflow app called Satori developed by my new buddyLachlan Cotter). In the meantime, here’s a wee excerpt of our interview…oh it was fun!
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Simple, and yet...
Today, I am focusing my attention on these questions (posed by my favourite yogi Eoin Finn): How can I be more loving?
How can I be more kind?
How can I have more fun and spread more joy?
Join me?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Fear on this gorgeous day
Today’s a gorgeous day. Perfect late summer kind of day. Bright and warm, but with a crisp breeze at just the right moment. My daughter’s home this last week (as in, not overscheduled as she has been all summer) and I’ve decided to put work on hold as we fête the waning days of vacation together. Seriously: if it’s not fun, it ain’t on the menu. (Every once in a while, I am THAT mother.)
So to give me the space to get the last bits of work handled before I go off-line for the balance of the week, I booked a playdate with her bestie here to keep her occupied and happy.
Twenty minutes into the playdate, I received a call.
The call display on my handset showed that it was from my home number. The very phone that was ringing. Curious, I picked it up. There was a pause, then I heard an über creepy voice leering: “let’s play a game”. And didn't wait to find out what the game was. I hung up. Ran downstairs to make sure the girls were okay (they were), and promptly got on the phone with my phone service provider. Surely if this was a common prank, they would know about it, right? 40 minutes of my life later, getting bounced around, I was informed that this “shouldn’t have happened” but it “will be resolved” (code for: beat it Psycho Lady, and get another cat).
When things go wrong, I unplug ‘em. (I’m kind of a Luddite like that). I took the landline off the hook. If nothing else, we’d not be bothered with such creepiness for the balance of the day. Though, of course, I was.
How can there be such a gripping fear in my chest on such a gorgeous day? Scary shit is supposed to happen during storms. In the dark. Not when the ice cream truck is happily playing its love song to the children of the street.
In the midst of this, I came across Naomi Dunford’s post about receiving death threats. DEATH THREATS. Are you KIDDING me?????
The end of MY story is this:
As a courtesy, I called the mother of the girl who was here to tell her she’d not be able to reach me via landline. And I told her why. Genuinely distraught, she called me back saying it was her 10-year-old son who made the call. Apologies all around. I still don’t know how he did it, but I can guess why.
Relief in my chest. No one is out to scare me or my family. Or worse.
But they are out to scare Naomi. And worse. And other women bloggers. On this day. On this very gorgeous day, there is hatred in the hearts of those who wish to silence people trying to make a living on-line. This is wrong*. So very wrong.
Please read her post, and share it.
And as often as you may have read the following words over this past week, please reread them:
My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.
-Jack Layton
* Also wrong, I hope it goes without saying, is the millions upon millions in this world who suffer at the hands of oppressors, bullies, terrorists, and haters. It makes my heart drown in sadness and helplessness. And resolved to be even kinder...it's what I can do.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Persist
My husband recently brought an exquisite blog to my attention: Letters of Note - "Correspondence deserving of a wider audience". (Damn near impossible not to appreciate the eloquence of the mission, isn't it?) The day I’m writing this, the letter of note is one from Fellini to Kubrick… sigh. The letter that brought him to Shaun's site was one written by Pixar animator Austin Madison to encourage aspiring animators to persist in the face of creative dips. It was written as part of the Animator Letter Projects, a collection letters of advice for hopeful animators, collated by Willie Downs. (Damn near impossible not to appreciate the delightful intention of Willie's project, isn't it?)
Read on.
(Damn near impossible to not appreciate the heart in this letter, isn't it?)
Do you feel the resonance of Austin's words in your bones? They hearken back to Steve Pressfield’s "Do the Work".
Writers write. Animators animate. Coaches coach. Runners run.
Yes, persistence can FEEL hard. That’s it and that’s all. Like dieting, or working through it, or training for that marathon…no one promised this would be fun.
And the pay-off? Potentially huge.
Persist. It takes courage…and you have that in great abundance.
Oh yes you do.
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PS - I was invited to say more about courage over here at my friend Kate Swoboda's blog.
PPS - Dyana and I talked about the Dastardly Dip a long while back. How do YOU get through the Dip? Would LOVE to hear your words of wisdom in the comments, please and thank you. They will serve to inspire others.
(Image courtesy of Willie Downs' Animator Letters Project.)
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.