At the end of November, I hosted my first ever (of oh-so-many) Step into Your Starring Role one-day retreats.

The day was magical. So, so magical.

And it wasn't made magical simply because of the 25 brilliant lights who showed up from near and far. From across the country, and from across the city. From North Carolina and from north Toronto.

Who booked off clients, organized sitters, arranged hotels, fixed flat tires in the wee hours of the morning, and MADE IT HAPPEN.

Who showed up for themselves and then discovered they were showing up for each other.

No. It wasn’t made magical simply because each of those 25 gorgeous participants dug deep. Really deep.

I mean, it was. But, unbelievably, that wasn’t all.

It wasn’t made magical simply because I had the most incredibly thoughtful and prescient Architect of Sanctuary as my right-hand woman that day and the weeks leading up to the event. Who drove in from five hours away to hold the space and tend to the exquisite details of venue excellence and sumptuous catered food and otherworldly flowers and loot bags. And it wasn’t made magical simply because of the prosecco celebration. And it wasn’t made magical simply because the video crew was unparalleled.

I mean, it was. But, unbelievably, that wasn’t all.

Some day - and that day is not today - I will tell you exactly what went on behind the scenes for me personally. Some day - and that day is not today - I will tell you exactly what was going on inside of my heart.

But I will say - today - that I had vast fears that I would not be able to attend my own event.

For once, this wasn’t coming from the Imposter Complex having a go at my capacity, capabilities, nor my readiness. No. It was coming from the fact that I spent the day before the event in the emergency room with someone I adore who is dealing with some pretty heavy stuff. Things were feeling pretty grim.

Day by day, as they say.

But this isn’t about that. Some day. But not today.

This is about how the magic happened THAT day.

It began, as all great stories of magic do, with a "yes."

I finally said "yes" to the whispers I’ve been ignoring for years about creating and teaching my own event.

And when I said yes, I knew I’d need support. So I reached out to Tania. And she said yes.

And then I opened the EventBrite page and made the offer in one single Facebook post and THEY said yes. In under 24 hours we were filled to capacity.

To be sure, there were plenty of times that I had doubts about my capacity, my capability, and my readiness, but when those unwelcome thoughts crept in, I drank deeply from the chalice of advice I asked Elan Morgan to pour me in advance of my TEDx Women talk years ago. She generously complied and my cup has continued to overflow with the goodness ever since. And so, I offer you her words.

1. Everyone in the audience is rooting for you and they already believe in you.

2. Pretend you are telling your favourite client this stuff.

3. You’re the one in the know on this topic.

4. Wear comfortable shoes. Brené Brown wisely wears Danskos.

5. You will be excellent.

6. You can totally rock this. It’s terrifying as all hell, but so is all the great stuff we do in life. It’s a sign of exhilaration.

Yes. Of course she was right. (Though I never ever heed her wise fourth point.)

And when I was tired and cold and in doubt of Elan’s third point and wanted to over-prepare to the point of exhaustion, I would wrap myself in the swaths of wisdom I asked of Julie Daley who heartily and fully offered me this:

1. Leave space in the room.

2. You are simply the vehicle for the intelligence in the room.

3. Feel for the ripeness and use the emergent.

Yes. Of course SHE was also right.

So, so, so right.

And while I had some lingering worry that I wouldn’t be present that day, with so much concern for the health of my loved one, I did it.

I WAS present. I rose up. I made space. I WAS space.

In the words of the 25 gorgeous souls who attended, the day was indeed “magical”. AND ALSO?

“motivating, epic, intense, uplifting, relief, mind-blasting, safe, healing, inspiring, connected, grounding, essential, revealing, transformational, unforgettable, love-filled”

(All photos: Marius Masalar)

Yes, I did that. We all did that.

And you will too.

When you are on the precipice of meeting your own desires and finally heeding the whispers of your soul, may I remind you to:

1. Surround yourself with the best.

2. Ask for what you need.

3. Show up for you, for your work, for your soul. For them.

4. Be assured that your love and deep desire for light creates the space for the magic.

5. Pursue impeccability, but remain untethered to it. No perfection guaranteed, no perfection required.

6. Do your work. As you do best. Teach. Sing. Lead. Coach. Write. Do it. DO IT.

And when you do, you will be excellent. And you will rewarded with the knowledge that you rose UP.

And you will know that magic happened.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

My daughter was recently tasked with asking me and my husband how many minutes we’ve been alive.

For me: 22,645,440.

That’s a lot of minutes.

And I remember many of them very very well.

Births. Deaths. Weddings. Orangina sipped in the Loire Valley when I was a child. Then chardonnay 20 years later in that same spot as an adult. Sprinklers in Portugal. The moment we were allowed to bring her home. The first time hugging on-line friends in real life. The smell of my dog Jesse when he was a puppy. When I got busted for stealing the gum. Tijuana with my bestie when we were 17. My first pay cheque. My last pay cheque. The first marathon phone call with my now husband (the shortest five hours of my life.) Fresh falling snow that Christmas Eve in Innsbruck. Getting the news from the doctor.

About that last point.

I went for a follow-up appointment with my doctor to see about something that has been on my mind. The news she had for me was so-so.

It’s better than I feared and still not fantastic.

A word on that: I will get ahead of it. Already am.

But this isn’t about that.

I mean, it is and it isn’t.

It’s about what’s next.

As I was sitting in that waiting room, reflecting upon those 22,645,440 minutes, I of course couldn’t help but consider how quickly they’ve gone.

And? We don’t get them back. But we can look to what’s ahead.

(Doctors’ offices are intense.)

We are each treated to, on average, 39,420,000 minutes.

Still a lot of digits.

But. Do the math.

I’m going to have to make the balance count.

You too?

Here’s what we know:

Whatever we are doing consistently, we are getting better at.

New neural pathways get etched in the brain, like water carving out the Grand Canyon. Bit by bit. Thought by thought. Action by action.

We begin to master whatever that is.

Which has me sitting up a whole lot taller and straighter. I know what I don’t want want to master (worrying, sitting in fear, judgment, looking back, apologizing for everything...'it's just easier that way') which makes way for what I do want (more joy - which for me includes: connection, generosity and gratitude - more expansion, more meaning, more healing, more decisiveness, more love).

Over to you.

With your remaining millions of minutes, what do you want to become masterful at?

Or, to paraphrase Mary Oliver, once again:

What will you do with your minutes

Will you spend them devoted to:

Just getting by? Keeping draining relationships alive? Checking your phone like it’s your job (it’s not)? Saying “I’m not ready yet”, to opportunities? Giving into your fears, distractions, compulsions, addictions, and procrastinations? Feeding the worries? Saying “not now”, to your loved ones? Being on time? Raising your hand? Committing to your art? Tending to your body like the temple that it is? Parenting presently? Bringing your light to the dark? Coming home to yourself? Savouring what’s on your plate? Operating from a place of love?

You’re getting masterful at all of those things. Bit by bit. Thought by thought. Action by action.

Starting now.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

You asked for the interview. You asked for the opportunity. You asked for the gig. You asked for the chance. You asked for the expansion.

So why are you secretly hoping they’ll say no?

Because you don’t think you deserve it? That they’ll find out you’re an impostor once you get there?

Lean in close, Honey.

Everything you’ve done and been and said and thought and wanted and healed and built and delivered and taught and created and survived has brought you to this moment.

To this YES.

This yes is yours to receive.

Because you asked for it.

Got that? Good.

But who am I to receive this yes, you ask? Lean in closer still. So our eyes are locked. Feel me looking into your eyes? Good.

(Swapping your name with mine, say it with me now:)

I’m Tanya Effing Geisler and every hour, every second, every decision, every yes, every no, every word, every early morning, every missed family event, every fumble, every edit, every practice, every brushstroke, every risk, every win has lead me here.

This is my time. Mine.

Because I asked for this.

Pass it on. xx/TG

You asked for this

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

This post (with the grade school title) has taken me over four weeks to write. Not because it’s that long (should only take you, like, three minutes to read) but because I’ve had so much to unpack since August 4th. That was the day of my first ever Board of Your Life session. As in ME. I HAD the Board of Your LifeTM session. I’ve facilitated plenty and have walked 100’s of people through their own experience using the Board of Your Life kit, but I have never actually treated myself to the full meal deal.

And it was full, all right. Like a towering buffet, laden with the most succulent splendour. Like perfectly steamed vegetables glistening like gems of every colour. Like endless trays of lusciously ripe fruits and platters of (sustainable!) seafood and, and, and….beyond.

Yes. It was full like THAT. Nourishing. Abundant. Sustaining. Delicious.

But even more than nourishing and abundant and sustaining and delicious…it felt essential. Like, OXYGEN essential.

Let me back up in case you don’t know what Board of Your Lifeis.

It’s a process, a focus group, a fusion of coaching and brainstorming and heartstorming and barn-raising for your soul that I created long before I even knew what coaching was. It's an exquisite immersion in who you are, what you're great at, how you're showing up and what's next. To start.

And creating it LEAD me to coaching back in 2008. It’s extremely powerful stuff. But once again? It feels essential. Oxygen essential.

Like, if-we-lived-in-a-medicine-culture-and-you-lost-your-ability-to-make-your-medicine-it-would-behoove-us-all-to-help-you-to-find-your-medicine-again, essential.

And it’s taken me over four weeks to write about it because what I learned about myself in that two hour session will sustain me for a lifetime.

(I say “learned”, but I really mean “remembered”. I say “remembered”, but I really mean “reclaimed”.)

It has already shifted the way I make decisions. It has shifted the way I write, parent, coach, learn, create. It has shifted where I see myself now and where I see myself GOING.

It has shifted my relationship with myself.

It has shifted…everything.

I’ll write plenty more on that when the time is right, but for the moment, I want to share what I learned about the experience because I want so deeply for you to have this experience too.

So, without further ado, here’s what Board of Your Life reminded me. About everything.

Your people want you to succeed.

I didn’t set out to hold a Board of Your Life session for myself, you know. But in a call with my mastermind group of super star sisters, it became clear to me that I had, as above, lost some ingredients to the medicine I am here to make. So they reminded me that I had JUSSSST the thing for that in my bag of tricks. That my very own Board of Your Life process was precisely the answer to my questions that had me fumbling around in the darkness of my blind spots.

And that THEY were the ones to light the way. To remind me of who I am. To reflect back the parts of me that I'd tucked away. And they were. And they did.

Your people will show up. BECAUSE.IT.MATTERS.

Julie, powerful and masterful teacher, elected to be my facilitator. Guided by the Fabulous Facilitators' Guide found in the kit, she went above and beyond, imagining every possible outcome, crafting the bespoke experience. She wanted so much and so deeply for me that I could sense her (HER!) nervousness when we began. Ever so subtle. But reminding me, no matter how accomplished and skilled we are that if this matters? You WILL feel nervous. Fact. The Imposter Complex wants to have us believing something else, but that right there is the truth. Nerves show up to show you what matters.

Kate was having trouble getting into the Google hangout, so she went, like, live and in person, to Lauren’s house. She wasn’t gonna miss it. Because it mattered.

Randi was having audio issues but made sure her voice was heard loud and proud (oh, how it was).Amy reached deep into her marrow to offer me up treat after treat. Ronna’s eyes filled with love and knowing told me a lifetime of seeing. Because it mattered.

They showed up. They SHOWED UP. Because of who I am, because of who they are and because of their sheer desire to help me to see myself. Fully. Because it mattered.

Transformation can be extremely fun.

(Whaaaaaa? Yes. It can.)

IMG_8381

When I arrived in the private Facebook group dedicated to me (ME!) I used the first of eight tissues that day. It was like a surprise party in my honour that I already knew all about. I felt the virtual confetti on my cheeks. And the Pinterest Board created and dedicated to their dreams, hopes and visions for me is up there with a picture of my husband and daughter on vacation for my most cherished image on my laptop.

We laughed (a lot).

We are consistently and persistently and unnecessarily hard on ourselves.

Nothing new under the sun here, my friends. But as the Creator of the Board of Your Life process, I was overtly, painfully cognizant of how some of the exercises and prompts in the kit felt outdated. To ME. (You know that feeling when you’ve been living inside of your head, of your content, of your process for so long you feel it’s old and tired…to you?) But they weren’t. The exercises and prompts were perfect for my session. And felt fresh. And new. And insightful. And I just needed to get over it and trust the process that I had created from my deep well of knowing so many years ago. (Your well is just as deep, Love.)

Stepping up for yourself ain’t no small thing.

Board of Your Life is indeed delicious…but it’s not all luscious fruits and confetti. And in stone cold truth, it’s not for the faint of heart. But it’s for those who are no longer content to fumble around.

About a month before I met the brilliant Selena Soo in NYC this summer, I’d heard her being interviewed by Andrew Warner of Mixergy. He’s a tough interviewer and was asking some pretty pointed questions about how she’s managed to realize the quantum leaps in her business that she has.

She told him that she'd held a focus group, inviting some leaders she respected and trusted and admired. Ramit Sethi. Derek Halpern. It sounded much like Board of You Life (it wasn’t, but it held the same intentions.) They offered her some perspectives that were the grease lightning for her in her business.

Smart. Not easy, per se. But smart.

In truth, there were moments when it was a little hard to breathe. How much more could I hold? I noticed the places where I wanted to hide behind note-taking. (Unnecessary…Lauren was scribing like the secrets of the universe were found in our words.) As above, I noticed where I wanted to make the content wrong. Where I wanted to manage the saboteurs of the group, or remind my Board members that the light that they saw in me was merely a reflection of them (which is truth). Also true: these tactics were mere distractions to shield me from the brightness that was being illuminated for me. The brightness that is calling me forth…to step up.

Because as Julie so exquisitely said:

It feels like Board of Your Life is an opportunity to (re)construct a mirror of who we truly are - a mirror that is fragmented because none of us can really see the totality of who and what we are, and mirroring is essential to coming to sense it.

Which, like I said, feels essential. And worth it.

So, you’re going to see me make some changes around here in my business. Like new offerings (including an immersive one day coaching experience with me, and retreats, and, and...) you’ll know they came from my Board of Your Life experience. But most of all, when you see me shining fully and truthfully, you’ll be able to trace it back to August 4th, 2015.

And finally, as I share in 12 Lies of the Imposter Complex (and One Truth):

There’s room for improvement.

Absolutely, there is.

For me. For you. And for Board of Your Life, the PROCESS.

This much I do know with every fibre of my being: Your people want you to succeed. Let them help you.

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

The overnight clerk at the grocery store apologized as she rang in the milk and cat food. Sorry to keep you waiting, she said. I was just over in floral wrapping the flowers. No problem, I answered. Are you often all over the store on the overnight shift?

Yeah…I just keep really busy to pass the time. If I sit, time drags on and I seriously just can’t wait to get out of here. I noticed her name.

I’LL BET. You must fall dead asleep the second you get home.

No way, she laughed. I have too many shows to watch on my PVR.

(I’m not proud of this. Not for a second. But it was in that moment that I felt the first unconscious stirring of judgment of the day. It tends to show up when I hear people rushing through life to get to their TV sets. How dare I? I know, I know.)

Oh yeah? What’s going to be waiting for you?

She scanned her memory for the schedule as she scanned my kale. Should be Dancing with the Stars and America’s Got Talent. I hope, she grinned.

Genuinely curious and thinking of my friends who are big dancers, I said: Sounds like you’re pretty keen on dancing. Do you ever get out and get your own boogie on?

She laughed again. Honey? I’m just not a ‘getting out’ gal anymore. I used to go out and play darts almost every night. We’d even go to tournaments out of town twice a month. But now? I’m 52 and prefer to stay home.

Really? I asked as stirring judgment #2 had me feeling a pang of sympathy that she’d already started to “give up”.

Buuuuuuut. No.

Oh yeah. I love heavy metal and there’s no dancing to that, so I just crank it at home and rock out. I also have a dartboard in my living room and if I have a six-pack and my man and some friends? It’s all I need. When I DO go out, it’s to a concert. Going to Mötley Crüe this weekend. And we just got tickets for Judas Priest in November.

(Her eyes were gleaming as she said that last part. It was...awesome.)

I am seriously in love how clear you are about what you want in your life, I said.

Sweetie, I was in an abusive relationship for 19 years. Never again am I wasting time on anything that doesn’t feel good or right for me.

Boom.

I paid up, she wished me a fantastic day and we parted ways. I sat in the car, realized how schooled I’d just been. Wondering why I felt so low after I went in feeling so high.

Because here was my morning up until that 5:50 am conversation.

Woke up. Said a welcoming prayer to the day before my feet hit the floor.

Went downstairs to feed the cats (saw we were out of food), drank hot water + lemon as I made a pot of coffee (saw we were out of milk), hit the meditation mat in front of my crystals-adorned altar, then kissed my husband and headed out to the store, feeling all high vibe + holy.

Walked the aisles feeling immense gratitude for my life, for the day ahead (settling back at my desk after some fantastic time away), house renovations nearing completion, husband feeling in flow, happy daughter heading to day two of horseback riding camp, incredible new clients and invitations showing up and generally, feeling the fullness of it all.

So it was with that beaming joy that I met her. And in less than one minute, I tripped over the rug of my unconscious judgment. Replacing the feeling of joy with the feeling of shit.

Judgment and comparison is like that.

Whether we compare up. Or whether we compare down.

So, I sat in the car, recognizing it for what it was. Giving thanks for my Mötley Crüe-loving Teacher this morning.

Reminding me to continue to do my work in transforming my own judgment habits.

Reminding me to deepen into the content that Lauren Bacon and I have so lovingly, patiently, and attentively created with Beyond Compare. (More to come...stay tuned.)

Reminding me to bring consciousness to the unconscious.

Reminding me just how far I still have yet to travel.

High vibe and holy

Reminding me that high vibe + holy requires consciousness off the mat.

Reminding me all that I forget.

Saturday night, I’m gonna raise a metal salute to her. In the meantime, I intend to bring full attention to where I go unconscious and judge.

Whether it’s someone else’s shoes, decisions, choices, car, taste, content, perspective, ideas. I’ll be noticing it all.

I may not love what I find out, but it will move me closer to my centre. And that’s where high vibe and holy ACTUALLY sync up. And where real change can happen.

Join me?

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.