In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Jamie Ridler
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest is Jamie Ridler.
Jamie Ridler, MA, CPCC, is the founder of Jamie Ridler Studios. Jamie inspires a passionate creative community, helping them find the courage and confidence to follow their dreams. Jamie’s creativity is fueled by an unwavering enthusiasm for life and a deep affinity to the arts. Her body of work encompasses writing, photography, visual art, theatre and dance. You can access her list of free resources here.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
How Tanya started In The Spotlight and battled the Impostor Complex to pursue a podcast
How to start something that is meaningful to you
When you start something new, what voice should you listen to?
Making big, brave asks with integrity, sincerity, and respect
Unhooking from the fear or pain of rejection
Sometimes the impostor complex shows up more when we are working alone than working in partnership
Starting out and forging your own path instead of following predetermined paths step-by-step
What kind of person is enjoying success
Being scared to do something new is normal… do it anyway.
JAMIE SAID//
Starting is my favorite.
When I decided I was going to do a podcast … I didn’t know anything.
I looked around the blogosphere at all these women we all adored, that inspired us every day - and I thought, I don’t know what their voice sounds like.
When I’m starting something new that is a service, an offer, a business kind of thing… something that’s going to have an impact on somebody else… [I think] of the person it’s going to impact. ... I sit there and think, well, I could be scared, I could listen to that inner critic that thinks “Who am I to…?” or I could do something. I’m going to get over being afraid and I’m going to show up.
My strongest strategy towards the Impostor Complex is [having] a pure heart.
When I am making an ask, I sincerely try to think of it as an offer, not an ask. I try to ensure that I am very clear in integrity about what I am offering. If, at the beginning, if I don’t even know if anyone’s listening [to my podcast] I’m not going to write to Julia Cameron and say “I’m going to offer you exposure.” That’s just not very sincere.
Time your offers around something that the person you’re asking from wants to share. Do they have a new book, a new documentary, a new single they’re releasing? That’s the time to ask. Be sensitive to what they need and be honest about what you can offer. And then the secret is… just do it.
If you don’t hear back, don’t take that a “no” forever. Don’t take it as a reflection of you. We’re all busy. Do you answer all of your emails? Probably not. … Try again in six months. Wait for the next thing that they’re about to launch. Ask again.
Our inner critics hit us hardest when we are not on stable ground. Having a pure heart and having integrity makes you feel like you’re on stable ground.
We are all human beings and we are interested in having a meaningful conversation that manners. The reciprocity absolutely comes from, “I am offering you respect, knowledge of your work, a willingness to be an open conversation, and a willingness to be in this place of generating some wisdom and sharing it with the world, and on that you and I are on the same mission.
[A “no”] is not a reflection of me. It’s so wildly egotistical to think everything I encounter is a reflection of me.
Don’t get too hung up on rockstars - there are so many people with great wisdom. Don’t feel like one person’s “no” is your disaster. There is plenty of genius to show up for you
Sometimes working alone brings more of the impostor complex.
It is hard, it is scary, it is brave. Newness is always scary. It sucks that it’s always scary, but it’s also normal. It doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes. You’re being charged like that because it matters to you, you’re being charged like that because you’re being called, you’re being charged like that because this IS for you.
Take good care of yourself, get good sleep, don’t underestimate the power of self care in these moments. Then find your bravery, find your friends, the people that make you feel strong… and just do it.
TANYA SAID//
I have three specific strategies that I always come back to when I know I am nose-to-nose with the Impostor Complex, and that is: I need to challenge my inner beliefs and meet the critics, I know I need to bolster my authority thesis and remind myself of my capacity, and I know that I need to gather my people.
I love what you do. You say “Hey everybody, here’s my crazy idea!” And that “Hey everybody!” is deeply brave.
You looked around and the need hadn’t been met.
I think that the idea of reciprocity [when it comes to making big asks], as a potential, is important.
Our work compels us to make asks, no matter what it is that we’re doing. People want us to succeed, they want to lift us up, but we do have to ask.
Where people are enjoying success is where they’re taking best practices of their forebearers of the movement and applying it... but bringing their own spirit and pure heart with them.
Remind yourself of every time you’ve stood on the precipice of that move. You’ve been here before, you’ve done it before… it just hasn’t looked exactly like this.
FIND JAMIE
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!