It has finally happened. I, avid seeker of truth and resolver of mysteries have finally met one that shall remain unsolved…by my own design. My iPhone was stolen…then returned. How it was stolen, I am not sure; why it happened, I can guess (but may well be off-mark) and the wondrous part of the story; why it was returned, I think I’ll never know. Nor does it really matter.

Here’s what happened. I had not been feeling well and so after being diagnosed with a chest infection, I went to the pharmacy to get a prescription filled. I had my daughter, a plethora of parcels and a fever…instant recipe for at least one ball to be dropped (thankfully it wasn’t my daughter).

We returned home in a haze of hacking and stumbled into the house to get on with the night (which for me couldn’t end soon enough…my demeanor is less than gracious when ill). I went to retire on the early-ish side and went to recharge my phone. When it wasn’t in its one of ten usual spots (I’m organized like that), I called it. I do this often. What does NOT happen often, however, is that a man answers (who was not my husband). Dialogue went like this:

Me - Ummm…hello? Eloquent Man Who Answered My Phone (EMWAMP)huh? Me uh…hi…I…uh..think you might have my phone by accident. EMWAMP No.. MY phone. Me Oh really? What number did I just call then? EMWAMP I dunno. Me Well, I happen to know what I just dialed and it was my phone number so can you please do the decent thing and return…


I feverishly hit “redial” and got my annoying outgoing message (good reminder to change that…have been meaning to do so!). And then I called again and again…and of course, he didn’t answer…he may not be eloquent, but at least *somewhat* clever.

I then proceeded to spend one hour with my cell provider working through a myriad of possibilities to resolve this mess (all which added up to a resolution costing $500, any way I sliced it...including breaking my contract). I kinda sorta blew my resolve to be kinder and gentler with customer care reps and in the end, we came up with a solution, albeit a rotten one. I was not satisfied, but at least clients could reach me once again…in three days.

And while I had the service blocked (from that moment he couldn’t call out OR receive incoming calls on my dime) all of my personal info was still on there…not to mention pictures of my daughter. Creepy. It was NOT a good night trying to fall asleep.

And yet, as I drifted off, I reflected on what all this meant:

  • My phone has become too important – I was reduced to tears at one point…this is not right. Tears are for love, joy, pain and empathy. Not for plastic communication devices with fancy apps like UrbanSpoon and Pac Man.
  • My inability to keep it all together was heightened by my fever…this is lame and stupid. I should have not tried to juggle so much. A call to my loving support network to get the Px filled and daughter picked up would have meant that I was tending to what needed tending to…me.
  • As angry as I was with EMWAMP, I realized somewhere along the way that he may not have been altogether INTENTIONAL in taking it…it may have simply been a lark. A shiny curiosity for him that wasn’t linked to the consequences that it bore on my life.

I fell asleep with this thought: "this is a good world, tomorrow will be a good day" and I silently pleaded with EMWAMP to return my phone to me… no questions asked.

Next morning, my husband found my phone in the car. Just like that…sitting innocently on the passenger seat, patiently waiting to be noticed and returned to my loving embrace.

Was it taken from there as I forgot to lock the car last night and returned in a moment of remorse by EMWAMP? Did I imagine the conversation? A review of the call log revealed that I did not, in fact, imagine it…AND that EMWAMP made two calls (both local) at 6:04 and 6:49 before the block was imposed...not exactly a huge iPhone joyride for him.

As soon as I had the phone back in my hands, my thoughts IMMEDIATELY turned towards the punitive…I wanted blood. Revenge. I wanted to call the people on the call log and demand to know who this dastardly beast was who put me out and made me so bloody angry. And then, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror all miserable and scowly, and I laughed at the absurdity of it all.

It IS a good world. This IS a good day and it WAS returned to me. My end of the bargain needed to be upheld. No questions asked…and that includes “why”, “how” and “who”. The only important became “so what?”..and this needed to be asked of me.

In this day of enlightening and luscious tweeted quotes of Deepak, Buddha and Eckhart, one maxim persists: shit happens.

So what? What am I gonna learn from it? Well, I was reminded to: focus; lock my car (duh); password protect my phone;  and, be present to what matters. EMWAMP may well have learned something too...or not. So what?

Relief in release.