Posts in In the Spotlight
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Vanessa Mentor
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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Vanessa Mentor. Vanessa Mentor moves in the world as a Black Haitian Woman, Mom, Words Lover & Story Catalyst. She strongly believes that we all come to earth with the inner wisdom and personal resources that we need to live life with more grace and ease. Through her work, Vanessa creates sacred practices & experiences for women in their 40's who've left their person behind and now want to Become & Live Unrestrained in their Body + Mind + Soul.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

 

  • The Impostor Complex and how it can get wrapped up in our body beliefs

  • Is my story worth sharing?

  • How to create stillness to be inside of yourself and connect with yourself

  • How to truly listen and gain answers and wisdom for questions that we face everyday

  • How becoming a mom was a catalyst moment for Vanessa

  • How to decide if you should share a particular story

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VANESSA SAID//

  • I do this work to help people come to the understanding of who they are and why they are here, and that they have all the answers inside. This I believe hugely.

  • I’ve always loved stories, these words bring affirmation to our own lives… I can be a witness of my own story and pass it on because I believe in legacy.

  • Draw into your body because there is wisdom there.

  • (In relation to the Impostor Complex) There’s so much focused on the way we look, then our physical appearance becomes how we see ourselves and determines our worth.

TANYA SAID//

  • “Creativity is not benign.” - Brene Brown

  • (Vulnerability vs. Intimacy) Vulnerability as a means to connection and intimacy as accessibility… use this as a lense of sharing when thinking about if a story should be told or not.

LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT

FIND VANESSA

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the SpotlightTanya Geisler
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler: Tanya's Solo Show!
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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week, I’m hosting ITS SOLO. I’m answering ALLLLL of your Q’s on the areas of my life that rankle my own Imposter Complex: parenting, speaking, coaching, business. The things that matter the most to me. Ask me ANYTHING about those topics. I'll bring it. With prosecco.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • Results of Tanya’s Birthday Offer (over $4k raised for charities around the world!!)

  • How Tanya decided her area of expertise was the Imposter Complex

  • Tanya’s first TEDx talk and how she found her passion for dismantling the Imposter Complex

  • The six behavioral traits of the Imposter Complex that we go to, to avoid being found out as an impostor or fraud - perfectionism, procrastination, comparison, diminishment, leaky boundaries, and people-pleasing (Tanya’s particular coping mechanism)

  • Our ministry is where our misery (and joy) has been

  • Where the Imposter Complex shows up for Tanya and how she handles it

  • How to share your work if you’re afraid

  • How to handle really big goals

  • “Slowly, slowly” vs “Hustle, hustle”

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TANYA SAID//

  • [Realizing that the Imposter Complex is where my ministry is…] it’s the lens through which I see everything, it’s in my every conversation, and I can’t unsee it.

  • People-pleasing is where I like to hide out.

  • I believed that boundaries were probably one of my biggest issues up until probably about a year ago, and I hadn’t stopped to celebrate that I had done some great boundary work.

  • Over time, if you work the tools, it will shift and you can heal those aspects. They might still come up but again, it’s all about the faster recovery.

  • Your ministry is where your misery has been. I also say [your ministry] is also where your joy has been, lest we forget we are also allowed to speak from our places of deep joy because that’s where healing has also happened.

  • [For me,] the Imposter Complex shows up on the precipice of something new. … It does show up for me when I look to evolve my message.

  • The places of stretch for me happen when I speak about things I haven’t fully integrated.

  • One of the huge things about the Imposter Complex is that it’s supported by your deep values of integrity, excellence, and mastery.

  • You really just need to have a look at what you’re really afraid of, what are the consequence you imagine would happen, and how do you mitigate them the best that you can?

  • The fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood is no joke. I have deep empathy and compassion for those of you who are on the precipice of saying the hard things. Go in as strong as you possibly can, and then really do look at “And then...?” questions. “What happens? (They won’t like it.) And then?” And I think you’ll know how you want to respond.

  • We make a decision to do something, we make sure that it’s aligned, we make sure we have the support, we make sure we have the resources, then we do the work, and then we celebrate.

  • [The Imposter Complex] never really goes away. It’s like a traveling companion and it’s a little like fear. It’s not something that you’ll ever fully eradicate. Once again, it’s something that you can recover from more quickly such that you can get into action. And you don’t ever want to lose it entirely, because A) it’s going to let you know that what it is that is triggered is deeply important to you and B) it’s also here to remind you of your values of integrity, excellence, and mastery. In fact, when I think about all the times that I don’t experience the Imposter Complex, that just lets me know that maybe I’ve got a little more swinging out to do.

LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT

FIND TANYA

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the SpotlightTanya Geisler
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Tiffany Han
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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Tiffany Han. Hand raiser and yes sayer, Tiffany Han is a branding strategist for highly-creative women and host of the Raise Your Hand Say Yes podcast and co-host of the How to be Remarkable podcast. The love child of Terry Gross and Don Draper, she crafts programs and resources that not only help female entrepreneurs be more successful in their creative business but also have as much fun as possible. In her spare time (ha!), she starts as many dance parties as she can with her husband and twin daughters. They live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Find out more at tiffanyhan.com and go behind the scenes on Instagram @thetiffanyhan.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • Branding and the Impostor Complex.

  • How branding helps us communicate with the world

  • How to find your voice?

  • What is a strong brand?

  • How to step into a bigger brand?

  • Letting the brand to do the work

  • Tiffany's new webinar Don’t Hate Your Website

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TIFFANY SAID//

  • When we “Say Yes!” it helps us get out of the Impostor Complex before doubts start to come in.

  • Branding helps us communicate to the world what we’re all about. If you’re not controlling the message, someone else will do it for you.

  • Let yourself shine, let yourself be seen in a powerful way. We want to make an impact on the world but we are ourselves back from our full power.

  • The power we have on the world starts with our branding.

  • A strong brand shows your unique voice in every interaction you may have. Seeing 40 seconds of Bruno Mars you know immediately his brand.

  • Strong brands don’t have to always be loud, they can be very soothing.

  • Be consistent when you are communicating and how people feel when they walk away from you.

  • The Impostor Complex can also show up through leaky boundaries by asking for too much feedback from too many people that don’t matter.

  • The Impostor Complex can also show up through procrastination and making convenient excuses to put off tasks

  • By establishing your brand at the beginning you are able to eliminate so many conversations that you don’t want to have and create boundaries.

  • The deeper you go into your own voice, the deeper you go into your own brand. And the deeper you go into your brand, the right people will show up.

  • How to find your voice can be answered by the following questions: What do you really want to do? What are you really after?

  • Sometimes we have to wade through a lot of “should haves” to see the light. We must be willing to get uncomfortable.

  • Let the brand drive the work and not the individual products

  • When wanting to expand your business, focus on depth instead of breadth. Go deeper into who you are and what you want to say to the world instead of trying to add more projects and products.

  • In order to revolutionize yourself, you have to start with clearing out what’s not working.

  • It is important to find the right support or assemble your cast.

  • We hate our websites because our brand is not strong or clear enough, or we rely on the designer to figure out our brand for us and then we end up with website that is not working.

  • When we outgrow our website it can feel powerless.

  • Next time you have a thought: Just do it and see what happens.

TANYA SAID//

  • We need make sure we are aligned with our inside belief and our outside portrayal

  • Branding is one of the most frightening things we can do

  • 6 coping mechanisms for the Impostor Complex and many show up when it comes to Branding

    • Diminishment: we don’t want to feel like we’re standing out or draw attention to ourselves so we dim it and diminish

    • People pleasing: we want to be all the things for all the people. You can’t.

    • Perfectionism: keeps us from being authentic

    • Comparison: we see a brand we like and try to repeat it instead of owning our own voice

    • Procrastination: put it off because no one wants to think or talk about branding

    • Leaky Boundaries: we don’t allow ourselves to stand in our truth but let other people own parts of it as well.

  • Other people’s experience with you is still their truth but it is not Capital T: Truth.

  • The Impostor Complex always shows up on the precipice of new things

  • The Impostor Complex always shows up the most when we ask ourselves what we want to be doing. It is because it feels like the biggest risk.

  • We are all evolving and we can always be better

LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT

FIND TIFFANY

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the SpotlightTanya Geisler
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Jen Brown
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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Jen Brown. Jen is a Trail Running and Triathlon Coach as well as the founder of Sparta Chicks, a community and coaching business that supports women who participate in endurance sports and outdoor adventures to chase their dreams (in sport and life) with less anxiety, fear and self-doubt and instead with more confidence. A former Corporate Lawyer, Jen now specialises in coaching women and is an author, speaker and the host of the Sparta Chicks Radio podcast. In her spare time, Jen can be found drinking coffee or exploring her beloved trails throughout the world heritage listed Blue Mountains, outside Sydney, Australia.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • All about Sparta Chicks and how it got started

  • Swapping out the word “jogger” for “runner,” or “blogger” for “writer” - what story does that perspective tell?

  • The power in naming ourselves “athletes” to feel like an athlete

  • Trying to start a new habit again, after failing before

  • How the impostor complex shows up in Jen’s work

  • Jen’s new podcast, Sparta Chicks Radio

  • The impact we have on our people

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JEN SAID//

  • The thing that holds us back is not the physical stuff…. What holds us back is all that stuff upstairs, the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and who we’re not.

  • What do you think of when you say the word runner? I used to say, “I’m not a runner. I’m just a jogger.” I [had to think] about the story I was telling myself about running…

  • There’s a fear that someone will call you out: “You’re not a runner because you’re so slow” or “You’re not a runner because you don’t look like what a runner looks like.” You’ll never feel like an athlete until you [call yourself] an athlete.

  • I know a lot of women who would not call themselves athletes even if they do very athletic things.

  • (If you’re starting a new habit) Start small - it’s really easy to get trapped in comparing yourself to your old self or what you used to be able to do. For anyone starting out, or trying to get back into running again - start small. I have clients who start out with 30 seconds of running, 4.5 minutes of walking and then repeat that four or five times. Start with small, bite sized chunks. Try not to run [in such big chunks right away]… You’re setting yourself up for failure.

  • Question those stories you are telling about yourself in your head, about your fears or your inadequacies. What’s that narrative? What’s at the core of it? Is it the fear of failing again, is it a fear of failing again in front of your family? There is always a much deeper underlying theme going on under the surface.

  • You need to do both - do the smart training, start small on the physical side. But you also need to examine the stories you tell yourself.

  • For me the biggest lie of the impostor complex tends to be that I’m not ready or good enough, which I’ve realized feeds into procrastination or perfectionism.

  • It’s funny how something (my podcast) that was such a cause of angst and fear and self doubt is actually one of my favorite things I’ve done in my career. Full stop. End of sentence.

  • Often the things you are most proud of in life are the things on the other side of the greatest struggle or fear.

  • I had the skills I needed to do the job.

  • You put your work out into the world - it doesn’t matter what it is - and you’ve got no way of knowing how it’s being received. And the fact that you’re not hearing how it’s being received doesn’t mean it’s not being received. Keep doing what you’re doing. You’re changing lives in ways you’ll never understand.

  • Go out and chase your dreams. Accept that you’ll have failure, accept that you’ll feel completely scared at times. But life’s too short. You can change lives. Whatever you do - just go do it.

TANYA SAID//

  • Swap out the words jogger for runner, blogger for writer.

  • We’re afraid of failing or being called out or our inability to commit… but usually in business, often fear of failure is actually fear of success. Usually that’s hidden around the inability to handle success.

  • Will people be proud of me? Will people be happy for me?

  • You have no idea the impact you’re having on people.

  • Small bites. 30 seconds at a time. Next step, next step, next step. First it’s ten minutes… then it’s 100 kilometers.

FIND JEN

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the SpotlightTanya Geisler
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Jamie Ridler
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In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Jamie Ridler. 

Jamie Ridler, MA, CPCC, is the founder of Jamie Ridler Studios. Jamie inspires a passionate creative community, helping them find the courage and confidence to follow their dreams. Jamie’s creativity is fueled by an unwavering enthusiasm for life and a deep affinity to the arts. Her body of work encompasses writing, photography, visual art, theatre and dance. You can access her list of free resources here.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

  • How Tanya started In The Spotlight and battled the Impostor Complex to pursue a podcast

  • How to start something that is meaningful to you

  • When you start something new, what voice should you listen to?

  • Making big, brave asks with integrity, sincerity, and respect

  • Unhooking from the fear or pain of rejection

  • Sometimes the impostor complex shows up more when we are working alone than working in partnership

  • Starting out and forging your own path instead of following predetermined paths step-by-step

  • What kind of person is enjoying success

  • Being scared to do something new is normal… do it anyway.

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JAMIE SAID//

  • Starting is my favorite.

  • When I decided I was going to do a podcast … I didn’t know anything.

  • I looked around the blogosphere at all these women we all adored, that inspired us every day - and I thought, I don’t know what their voice sounds like.

  • When I’m starting something new that is a service, an offer, a business kind of thing… something that’s going to have an impact on somebody else… [I think] of the person it’s going to impact. ... I sit there and think, well, I could be scared, I could listen to that inner critic that thinks “Who am I to…?” or I could do something. I’m going to get over being afraid and I’m going to show up.

  • My strongest strategy towards the Impostor Complex is [having] a pure heart.

  • When I am making an ask, I sincerely try to think of it as an offer, not an ask. I try to ensure that I am very clear in integrity about what I am offering. If, at the beginning, if I don’t even know if anyone’s listening [to my podcast] I’m not going to write to Julia Cameron and say “I’m going to offer you exposure.” That’s just not very sincere.

  • Time your offers around something that the person you’re asking from wants to share. Do they have a new book, a new documentary, a new single they’re releasing? That’s the time to ask. Be sensitive to what they need and be honest about what you can offer. And then the secret is… just do it.

  • If you don’t hear back, don’t take that a “no” forever. Don’t take it as a reflection of you. We’re all busy. Do you answer all of your emails? Probably not. … Try again in six months. Wait for the next thing that they’re about to launch. Ask again.

  • Our inner critics hit us hardest when we are not on stable ground. Having a pure heart and having integrity makes you feel like you’re on stable ground.

  • We are all human beings and we are interested in having a meaningful conversation that manners. The reciprocity absolutely comes from, “I am offering you respect, knowledge of your work, a willingness to be an open conversation, and a willingness to be in this place of generating some wisdom and sharing it with the world, and on that you and I are on the same mission.

  • [A “no”] is not a reflection of me. It’s so wildly egotistical to think everything I encounter is a reflection of me.

  • Don’t get too hung up on rockstars - there are so many people with great wisdom. Don’t feel like one person’s “no” is your disaster. There is plenty of genius to show up for you

  • Sometimes working alone brings more of the impostor complex.

  • It is hard, it is scary, it is brave. Newness is always scary. It sucks that it’s always scary, but it’s also normal. It doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes. You’re being charged like that because it matters to you, you’re being charged like that because you’re being called, you’re being charged like that because this IS for you.

  • Take good care of yourself, get good sleep, don’t underestimate the power of self care in these moments. Then find your bravery, find your friends, the people that make you feel strong… and just do it.

TANYA SAID//

  • I have three specific strategies that I always come back to when I know I am nose-to-nose with the Impostor Complex, and that is: I need to challenge my inner beliefs and meet the critics, I know I need to bolster my authority thesis and remind myself of my capacity, and I know that I need to gather my people.

  • I love what you do. You say “Hey everybody, here’s my crazy idea!” And that “Hey everybody!” is deeply brave.

  • You looked around and the need hadn’t been met.

  • I think that the idea of reciprocity [when it comes to making big asks], as a potential, is important.

  • Our work compels us to make asks, no matter what it is that we’re doing. People want us to succeed, they want to lift us up, but we do have to ask.

  • Where people are enjoying success is where they’re taking best practices of their forebearers of the movement and applying it... but bringing their own spirit and pure heart with them.

  • Remind yourself of every time you’ve stood on the precipice of that move. You’ve been here before, you’ve done it before… it just hasn’t looked exactly like this.

FIND JAMIE

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the SpotlightTanya Geisler