How to Speak Up & Be Seen—So You Can Play Big & Build Your Platform

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“Speak up!”

“Post on social media!”

“Toot your own horn a little.”

“You have to talk about what you do so people can hire you…”

Oh, if only it were that simple. 

Often, a fear of speaking up or being seen is a symptom of a person struggling with Imposter Complex. 

(By the way, here’s why I say Imposter Complex instead of Imposter Syndrome).

It shows up when there’s a conversation going on around you (digitally or in real life) and you have an opinion… but can’t quite form the words to get it out.

It shows up as writer’s block when the cursor blinks maddeningly at you, daring you to write what you really think…

It might show up for you somewhere else — in a meeting at work, at a party with friends, in opportunities to promote yourself, or anywhere your voice might be heard.

It’s usually a version of one of the 12 Lies of the Imposter Complex rattling around in our brain: “You have nothing useful to say.” 

This is a blatant lie, of course. Because you? Have big plans. You have big ideas. And these big ideas require us to play bigger and build a platform that — GULP — requires us to speak up and speak out. 

But when we believe this lie, we say nothing. We don't communicate with our audience, our clients, our fans. We pass up opportunities to share our message (what message?) and don't collaborate with our peers (everyone knows more than I do about the topic!). And we miss out on growth, learning, and connection.

Unfortunately, many of us were taught — implicitly or explicitly — that it wasn’t safe to speak up. Girls and women in particular are taught that to be quiet is to be “good” from an early age. We’re disciplined in school for talking out of turn. 

For some, the trauma associated with being seen is real. And for Black, Indigneous, and People of Colour and other marginalized people in particular, that feeling of being unsafe can be very real. 

So we learn to keep quiet. Don’t rock the boat. Don’t speak out of turn. (And when exactly is our turn?)

When I ask the members of my Facebook group how the Imposter Complex shows up for them, I get answers like:

"I stay quiet & small"

"I’m passive"

"I'm the best kept secret"

"I wish I could just say things"

"I wonder which voice is mine vs. others"

"fear of being seen"

"playing big vs. small"

"I second guess myself"

"I minimize my visibility"

"I’m the last to speak up"

"I have nothing to say"

"promoting myself feels like heavy lifting"

"avoiding tasks that put me out there to get rolling (like follow up)"

Any of that sound familiar? 

How a fear of speaking up & being seen might manifest for you

Depending on which of the six behavioural traits of the Imposter Complex you most often experience, you might experience the self-doubt of Lie #4 in different ways:

If you’re a people-pleaser, you might find you don't want to "bother" people with your unoriginal thoughts. If you tend to compare, you’re always comparing what you want to say with what others have already said (and probably finding your version lacking). If you tend to diminish, you’re going to get stuck on the idea that not only has it been said before, but it’s been said better. 

No matter which behavioural trait is keeping you from speaking your truth in the way that only you can, the solution is to remember that your people want to hear your take, your version, your view.

How to speak up & be seen — even when the Imposter Complex tries to tell you not to

How you actually find your voice will vary from person to person — but remember that it is your voice to find, and that your people will want to hear what you have to say.

A few practical tips to get you started:

  • Take note of when you do feel confident speaking up and when you don’t. For example, a friend of mine often feels uncomfortable speaking up for herself with clients — but if her team members need something, she has the courage of a mama bear to speak to the client. Interesting…

  • Plan ahead. If your fear of showing up and being seen is truly about an event (ie: speaking up in a meeting, going live on Facebook, sharing your prices with an interested person on a sales call), writing down what you want to say ahead of time and practicing is a great way to start. But don’t just practice the words; practice the feelings of confidence as well.

  • Take imperfect action. The Imposter Complex wants to keep us out of action — one of its sneaky tricks. Allowing yourself the freedom to take imperfect action disrupts its plans.

  • Call in your people.  As I’ve said above, your people are rooting for you. They want you to win.  So stack the deck in your favor. Invite a few ringers to the audience to start the applause or ask the first question. Ask a friend for support when you have to make a difficult phone call. Invite your besties to be the first to like your new thing on social media. It’s like priming the pump, and believe me that even if they are the first to join you, they won’t be the last. 

When you fully embody your Iconic Identity and start sharing the full expression of who you are and the important work you’re creating, lots of magical things start to happen. It’s inevitable. 

What’s also inevitable is that some people in your life may not really understand it. And, this will likely sting a bit. Your work will be in being okay with it.  And that may not happen right away. 

However you deal with these folks, remember one final inevitability that WILL occur as you start to speak up, be seen, and do your important work:

The people who GET it will show up. They are your fans, your champions, and your new source of inspiration and motivation.

So practice speaking up, showing up, playing a little bigger. You may be amazed at who is watching.  


Click here for my free training:

Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.

Tanya Geisler