Is the Imposter Complex ON your side?!
Post-vacation catch up and pre-back to school busyness has kicked in over here at TG Coaching HQ.
With my business mind spinning with new ideas and my mama heart trying to (unsuccessfully) figure out how to bottle time, I’ve been trying to get centered by listening to more podcasts than usual.
One of the many conversations I enjoyed listening to was between Dr. Maya Shankar and Adam Grant about the science of changing our minds. As someone who continues to look critically at my own relationship with decisiveness and discernment, I was already hooked, given the subject matter. However, what I wasn’t expecting was for them to take a quick detour to talk about the Imposter Complex, and namely why it can be a GOOD thing.
In my work, I definitely attempt to dial down the gravitas of the Imposter Complex, because I often find folks will gaslight themselves for having the experience. But it’s not often I hear others saying the IC has great BENEFITS, so I found myself leaning in a little more.
I’m gonna take a quick sidebar here to say: we’re seeing tons of new folks on our list (maybe you found me through my newest training, so WELCOME!)
If you’re new here, allow me to offer up a little overview on some of the GOOD NEWS about the Imposter Complex.
If you experience the Imposter Complex, you are BY DEFINITION a high-achiever with strong values of proficiency, excellence and INTEGRITY.
If you experience the Imposter Complex, you are HIGHLY RELATIONAL. (You can see that in the challenges you may experience relative to people-pleasing, comparison, and boundaries.)
If you experience the Imposter Complex, doing things RIGHT and by the book MATTERS to you. (And honestly? I want to live in a world where THAT matters to more people.)
I hope you’ll forgive the continued overuse of the word “matters” here, but if you experience the Imposter Complex, it’s ONLY in the areas that matter to you. Your leadership. Parenting. Writing. Teaching. Activism. Business. It’s a litmus test of sorts. Like, “does this matter enough?”
Alright, now that everyone’s refreshed on those very important points, back to the Grant and Shankar conversation. They mentioned research done by Basima Tewfik on the ways in which high-achievers might be more successful BECAUSE of their imposter-based thoughts.
For instance, medical professionals who hold any degree of uncertainty about best ways forward are far more inclined to LISTEN to their patients, rather than make presumptions about their lived experience. This is very good. Tewfik found the same was true with investment professionals. Better listening, better outcomes. Win-win.
I know for myself, the less I think I know about something, the less confident I feel in my COMPETENCE. I am that much more inclined to listen more to others who know more than I do, which is also very good.
And this exploration dovetailed beautifully with another podcast episode I have listened to more than once. It was an extraordinary conversation between Alok and the hosts of the Man Enough Podcast, about compassion and the intrinsic value of interdependence. It’s that last sliver that I’m thinking about as it relates to the Imposter Complex (but the whole hour is worth listening to.)
When we drop our pretense of perfection, when we lean in with curiosity, when we gather up support...this is when we are at our best. When we are at our most vital.
This is when we are at our most human and humane.
And this is where I ended up after sitting with both conversations.
There are useful things we can know about ourselves when the Imposter Complex shows up in our lives. Concurrently, it can also be true that there are moments in which those IC-based thoughts force us to stand up taller, listen harder, and think about things from a different lens.
But also: I’m on a mission to make sure it isn’t holding you back from doing the life-changing work you’re here to do.
Yes, I want to live in a world where folks are highly relational, curious, good listeners who want to do right by the book.
AND?
I ALSO want to live in a world where those same highly relational, curious and listening folks REWRITE the book. Because the “how this has always been done” book of status quo wasn’t written with everyone’s freedom and activation prioritized.
And the Imposter Complex may be keeping that proverbial book from being rewritten.
It may be keeping the words lodged in your throat.
It may be keeping your hand lowered.
It may be keeping you from rising up to meet the challenge.
It may be keeping you from finding your right people and your right people from finding you.
It may be keeping you ONLY in the questions and precluding decisive action.
It may be keeping you from taking up the space the universe has carved out for you and only you.
To all of this I say: not on my watch.
That’s why I do THIS work. I help folks challenge their internal programming so they can in turn challenge the programming that creates and colludes with systems of oppression.
I like to ask at the beginning of each of my speaking gigs: How can we talk about the things that feel risky when we struggle to talk about the things that reside in our wheelhouse of excellence? How can we claim a seat at a new table when we don’t even sit up tall at our own?
Let’s stay highly relational. Let’s keep being curious. Let’s embrace our high-achieving selves. Let’s retain our values of proficiency, excellence, and INTEGRITY. Let’s keep listening.
AND let’s get into action.
Informed by the Imposter Complex, but unencumbered by it.
Both/AND.
This is what I do best.
You and me.
You’re ready, and so am I.
And the world is waiting.
Click here for my free training:
Five ICONIC shifts leaders use to overcome Imposter Complex.