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Clogs vs. flow
For the past couple of weeks, we’ve been having drainage problems. Not the kind caused by rogue tree roots under your basement floor (we’ve experienced that particular brand of annoyance), but rather the kind that makes your sinks drain really slowly. The kind you don’t really understand but hope it just sorts itself out. Throw a bottle of toxic drain cleaner in there and hold your breath. That didn’t work. The slow drain led to a non-draining laundry tub which overflowed with every load. When the next bottle of toxic drain cleaner yielded no results, a rubber hose was connected from the washing machine to the floor drain to reroute the rinse cycle. An effective stopgap solution, but hardly a permanent one.
Then the dishwasher started to leak. A lot.
I seem to be okay with a hose running along the basement floor but I draw the line at a lack of dishwasher. I have my limits.
The drain guy came in and did his thing with a scary looking electric snake. Turns out there’s been an accumulation of crud in our pipes from last year’s tile work in our basement. A year after the fact, our sloppy workmanship finally caught up with us. Washing the grouting tools in the laundry tub led to the build-up. Which blocked the tub. Which tied into the dishwasher and caused it to leak.
So now things are moving. But still slowly. One more step to go…though the drain is somewhat clear…we need to add another vent…something about neutral air pressure. All I understand is that this will help the flow. And flow is good.
So here’s the thing. I’m a sucker for metaphors and this here’s a doozy.
We all have emotional crud. Some of us have more, some of us have less. It might originate from our own incompetence (like washing tools in a laundry sink) or from factors beyond our control (like roots growing under our floor). But it’s still our crud to deal with. And if you don't deal with it, it WILL back up and cause leakages in other areas of your life (sound familiar?). And that's another big mess to deal with. So deal with the blockages. Here are some ways you can approach it:
a) leave it alone and watch everything back up b) dump toxic crap in and see what happens c) chip away at the crud; or, d) vent it out.
I highly recommend c) and d).
Talk to a friend, find a good coach, do the work and watch the crud drain away. Let it flow, let it flow.
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When two positives make a negative...
I just spent a lovely weekend with my family in Montreal. We did a house swap with a friend who stayed at our humble abode in Toronto and it all worked out very well indeed. Before you dismiss this posting as a “here’s what I had for lunch” blog, hear me out. This here sign got us the honking of a lifetime.
You see…perhaps it’s a cultural thing…perhaps it’s an idiot thing. We thought the friendly green circle in the sign indicated that MTQ suggested that we would PREFER to go straight or right…we did not think that we really really really weren’t supposed to go left.
Hence the honking (complete with language-bridging gestures).
This sign kind of reminds me of the new shift towards putting a positive spin on everything. Case in point, have you noticed that you’re no longer asked to turn off your cell phone but are now “reminded to turn your phone back on after this session”?
There’s such thing as being too positive (yes, I, Tanya Geisler, the Pollyanna of Pollyannas have just declared that there may well be such thing as being too positive). Sincerity can be compromised, clarity can be lost and confusion can reign.
While this sign is far more welcoming than the no-left turn signs we’re accustomed to (it makes me curious about what’s possible ahead and to the right), its initial ambiguity wasn’t helpful. Clearly.
In considering the double positive of this sign (go right, go straight but don’t go left) I was reminded of a story told by a friend (turns out it’s Jack Rosenthal’s story in the New York Times, but clever nonetheless):
A colleague recently told Roger Gould, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, about a lecture, place uncertain, referring to double negatives. Every language, the lecturer observed, has a construction in which two negatives make a positive. But in English, he said, there's no construction in which two positives make a negative.
From the hall came the perfect, anonymous response: "Yeah, right."
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Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
The _______ Fairy
We’re out four bucks this week. Our daughter lost her two front bottom teeth and apparently a toonie per tooth is the going rate. I suppose baby teeth are a commodity. We’re conflicted about her passing another milestone. On the one hand, we’re sad to see the end of the baby toothed-era, but we (including our daughter) are excited that she’s moving into the big-toothed era. That and the fact that she has the unique situation of her adult teeth already moving in behind the recently departed baby teeth. Quite simply, that mouth wasn’t big enough for the both of them sets of chompers.
As if the excitement of a new phase of growth wasn’t enough, society had to heap on the expectation of financial reward in exchange for used (if tiny) body parts. Appropriately, our little recipient is thrilled to have shiny new additions to her piggy bank.
The tooth fairy comes and takes away that which we don’t need, making room for new growth and possibility. So what can we extract (pardon the pun) from this? There can be opportunity in loss, I think.
If you could have a fairy come and take something away from you to give you more room in your life for growth and possibility, what would you be rid of? (Don’t hold your breath for cash under the pillow on top of it though…that’s just plain greedy).
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. - Alexander Graham Bell
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Me, my Boss and I (part 2)
Do forgive me if there are some typos in this posting. I’m typing this out on my back deck and am coping with the computer screen’s glare. Nice problem to have, I’ll admit. You see, I’ve really taken my last blog posting to heart about being my own best boss. I’m like the Scrooge on Christmas morning treating myself all over town for my great work. I cannot be stopped! In fact, I’m playing hooky (sp?) tomorrow! Mind you, I am having summer tires put on the car, the house prepped for a house swap with a friend this weekend and 2 client calls…but still, there’s a pedicure planned in there, so it feels like a day off!!!
I love that there’s a shift in our collective consciousness a-brewing about rewarding ourselves. A client passed this on to me after my last entry.
Today, my reward for some good efforts is to work from my back deck (26 degrees out here) for an hour and a half (or until my battery dies) and sip cranberry soda. I have another 40 minutes of power...and another application of sunscreen. How will you reward yourself today?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Me, my Boss, and I
The word “kindness” has been coming up a lot lately…in reference to me. Apparently, my circle of influence thinks I’ve been beating myself up as it pertains to my business of late. I, of course, think there’s nothing wrong with being an overachiever when it comes to my own stuff. Being Type “A” is a good thing….isn’t it? I realized my hypocrisy when I found myself suggesting to a dear client that they might offer themselves a dose of kindness.
I got off that call feeling great about some things that we worked through in our session and then went back to my desk. I sat down, shook my head at my ever-increasing to-do list (or worse still…the pile of sticky notes that have yet to be even transcribed ON TO the to-do list) and felt that tightness in my shoulders that I get when I start to feel overwhelmed.
I thought about this dichotomy. Why one thing is good for my clients but not me.
I realized something today…that I have been running my business as a business (duh) but not with a lot of empathy to my staff of me. I realized that if I reported to a boss that was as unyielding as I’ve been, I’d have quit long ago (and I’m no quitter!!!)
I started to think back to my former corporate life and reflected on the way I treated those who reported to me. I’d argue that I was fair, equitable and appreciative. (And if you ever reported to me and thought differently, email me and we’ll talk!)
So…why am I so hard on myself? In my business, I’m making great headway, have phenomenal clients, am honing my craft, my work ethic is strong and my intentions are excellent. I come up with creative solutions to complex problems and anything else you can think of that would have me ace a performance review. I decided that my new maxim ought to be: “Do unto yourself as you’d do unto others”.
I decided to give myself a little bonus today (and I do mean little as I’ve yet to develop a bonus structure for my exemplary staff). A pretty plant that will remind me to breathe.
Because I’m THAT kind of boss. A good boss. And a kind boss.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Saying "NAY" to the naysayers
Listen to the MUSTN’Ts, child Listen to the DON’TS Listen to the SHOULDN’TS, The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS Listen to the NEVER HAVES, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child ANYTHING can be. -- Shel Silverstein
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about Ray Zahab and his incredible journeys…both physical and emotional. I heard back from a lot of people saying they were incredibly moved by his tenacity...I hope they shared that with him too.
Part of his story that really resonated with me was the number of people that showed up for him right before his first race (100 miles in the Yukon no less…please, if you haven’t read the post, please do so now...it’s wild). They said he couldn’t do it…and was crazy for even trying. (BTW - if I could SCRIPT the voices of my own saboteurs, they’d say just those very things…so to have people actually SAY those words to me would be devastating.) Ray kept on going, regardless…sticks and stones and all the rest.
And guess what happened in that race? Not only did he FINISH…he WON!!!! This is the stuff that movies are made of. WOO HOOO!!!!!!!
So...why DO we pay to see these stories in the movies?? Because we always tell ourselves we can’t do what’s in our heart…and to have others validate that for us can be crushing…but almost a relief in that it “permits” us to not go on.
But sometimes we do go on.
I bet we’ve all done something more courageous than we think…and were probably told not to bother even trying. Feel like sharing your moment?
I’ll start: When others thought I shouldn’t, I listened to my heart and did the hard thing…and am grateful every day that I did.
What did you enjoy getting right that others thought you’d get wrong?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.