Articles
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Jamie Ridler
Jamie Ridler, MA, CPCC, is the founder of Jamie Ridler Studios. Jamie inspires a passionate creative community, helping them find the courage and confidence to follow their dreams. Jamie’s creativity is fueled by an unwavering enthusiasm for life and a deep affinity to the arts. Her body of work encompasses writing, photography, visual art, theatre and dance. You can access her list of free resources here.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest is Jamie Ridler.
Jamie Ridler, MA, CPCC, is the founder of Jamie Ridler Studios. Jamie inspires a passionate creative community, helping them find the courage and confidence to follow their dreams. Jamie’s creativity is fueled by an unwavering enthusiasm for life and a deep affinity to the arts. Her body of work encompasses writing, photography, visual art, theatre and dance. You can access her list of free resources here.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
How Tanya started In The Spotlight and battled the Impostor Complex to pursue a podcast
How to start something that is meaningful to you
When you start something new, what voice should you listen to?
Making big, brave asks with integrity, sincerity, and respect
Unhooking from the fear or pain of rejection
Sometimes the impostor complex shows up more when we are working alone than working in partnership
Starting out and forging your own path instead of following predetermined paths step-by-step
What kind of person is enjoying success
Being scared to do something new is normal… do it anyway.
JAMIE SAID//
Starting is my favorite.
When I decided I was going to do a podcast … I didn’t know anything.
I looked around the blogosphere at all these women we all adored, that inspired us every day - and I thought, I don’t know what their voice sounds like.
When I’m starting something new that is a service, an offer, a business kind of thing… something that’s going to have an impact on somebody else… [I think] of the person it’s going to impact. ... I sit there and think, well, I could be scared, I could listen to that inner critic that thinks “Who am I to…?” or I could do something. I’m going to get over being afraid and I’m going to show up.
My strongest strategy towards the Impostor Complex is [having] a pure heart.
When I am making an ask, I sincerely try to think of it as an offer, not an ask. I try to ensure that I am very clear in integrity about what I am offering. If, at the beginning, if I don’t even know if anyone’s listening [to my podcast] I’m not going to write to Julia Cameron and say “I’m going to offer you exposure.” That’s just not very sincere.
Time your offers around something that the person you’re asking from wants to share. Do they have a new book, a new documentary, a new single they’re releasing? That’s the time to ask. Be sensitive to what they need and be honest about what you can offer. And then the secret is… just do it.
If you don’t hear back, don’t take that a “no” forever. Don’t take it as a reflection of you. We’re all busy. Do you answer all of your emails? Probably not. … Try again in six months. Wait for the next thing that they’re about to launch. Ask again.
Our inner critics hit us hardest when we are not on stable ground. Having a pure heart and having integrity makes you feel like you’re on stable ground.
We are all human beings and we are interested in having a meaningful conversation that manners. The reciprocity absolutely comes from, “I am offering you respect, knowledge of your work, a willingness to be an open conversation, and a willingness to be in this place of generating some wisdom and sharing it with the world, and on that you and I are on the same mission.
[A “no”] is not a reflection of me. It’s so wildly egotistical to think everything I encounter is a reflection of me.
Don’t get too hung up on rockstars - there are so many people with great wisdom. Don’t feel like one person’s “no” is your disaster. There is plenty of genius to show up for you
Sometimes working alone brings more of the impostor complex.
It is hard, it is scary, it is brave. Newness is always scary. It sucks that it’s always scary, but it’s also normal. It doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It doesn’t mean it’s not for you. It doesn’t mean you don’t have what it takes. You’re being charged like that because it matters to you, you’re being charged like that because you’re being called, you’re being charged like that because this IS for you.
Take good care of yourself, get good sleep, don’t underestimate the power of self care in these moments. Then find your bravery, find your friends, the people that make you feel strong… and just do it.
TANYA SAID//
I have three specific strategies that I always come back to when I know I am nose-to-nose with the Impostor Complex, and that is: I need to challenge my inner beliefs and meet the critics, I know I need to bolster my authority thesis and remind myself of my capacity, and I know that I need to gather my people.
I love what you do. You say “Hey everybody, here’s my crazy idea!” And that “Hey everybody!” is deeply brave.
You looked around and the need hadn’t been met.
I think that the idea of reciprocity [when it comes to making big asks], as a potential, is important.
Our work compels us to make asks, no matter what it is that we’re doing. People want us to succeed, they want to lift us up, but we do have to ask.
Where people are enjoying success is where they’re taking best practices of their forebearers of the movement and applying it... but bringing their own spirit and pure heart with them.
Remind yourself of every time you’ve stood on the precipice of that move. You’ve been here before, you’ve done it before… it just hasn’t looked exactly like this.
FIND JAMIE
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Ricardo McRae
Ricardo is committed to creativity and commerce working together. Today, he’s bringing creativity to life as the Host of The Framing Podcast on iTunes, and helping families across Canada as a licensed Financial Advisor. Prior to his most recent endeavours, Ricardo was the Creative Director of a boutique consultancy, Wedge15 and the Creator of BlackInCanada.com - Canada’s leading source on Black Excellence reaching over 1M people in 100 countries with 30K+ fans and followers. He studied Fine Arts and Business at the University of Windsor and the Ontario College of Art and Design before acquiring his Project Management designation and becoming an award winning entrepreneur and TEDx speaker.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest is Ricardo McRae.
Ricardo is committed to creativity and commerce working together. Today, he’s bringing creativity to life as the Host of The Framing Podcast on iTunes, and helping families across Canada as a licensed Financial Advisor. Prior to his most recent endeavours, Ricardo was the Creative Director of a boutique consultancy, Wedge15 and the Creator of BlackInCanada.com - Canada’s leading source on Black Excellence reaching over 1M people in 100 countries with 30K+ fans and followers. He studied Fine Arts and Business at the University of Windsor and the Ontario College of Art and Design before acquiring his Project Management designation and becoming an award winning entrepreneur and TEDx speaker.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
Ricardo’s background and amazing life stories
Change is hard but is required if we want to accomplish anything
Value is created by framing
Answering a client question about profitable passions
RICARDO SAID//
If you are not dead, you can change. You can change your circumstances, you can change your life, you can DO something. And if you’re dead, all of your problems just got solved. So there are no really bad situations. The problem is action. Are you going to take an action to make a difference in the things you want? … Do something. Do anything.
Value is created. If you dance on the side of the street, you will get pennies. If you dance at Carnegie Hall, you will get millions. The only difference is the location and the frame.
The frame is the most valuable thing in artwork. It’s not the art, it’s the frame. If you take a piece of art and put it under your bed and disrespect it, it has zero value. But if you frame it and put it in a gallery and set the lights and tell the people to be quiet when they come in the room, it’s now worth millions. … Being able to frame things creates value.
Everything is valuable if it’s framed properly. Everything. And everybody is valuable if you just give them the opportunity to talk. Everybody has a story.
Everything is google-able. Information is not the problem. Access to information is not the problem. It’s self-discovery. What do YOU want to do when every possibility is now open to you? That is what we have to teach our children moving forward.
Don’t make your passion or your drive responsible for feeding you. Those are two different things and they don’t have to live together. Do what you have to do to make sure you can eat and live and do the work. It’s a marathon. If you are not here it probably won’t get done, so make sure you are taken care of. Then spend the rest of your time working on that passion and that thing that’s going to drive you. It [may not] generate money right now [but] it is good work doing great things - you’re going to find a way along that journey to [monetize or fund it].
TANYA SAID//
Change is hard, babe. Change is just hard.
You just helped me to understand what I actually do in the world! As a leadership coach, I’m constantly helping people to reframe what they’re thinking or the narratives they’re living in and believing!
It’s less about confidence and more about alignment. You know who you were when you were one. The sense of the true is strong in you, and my suspicion is that that’s always been true.
FIND RICARDO
Patreon.com (self funding website for your reference)
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Theresa Reed
Theresa Reed (aka “The Tarot Lady”) has been a full-time Tarot card reader for close to 30 years. She is the author of The Tarot Coloring Book, an illustrated tour through the world of Tarot with coloring sheets for every card in the deck. In addition to doing private Tarot readings, teaching Tarot classes, and speaking at Tarot conferences, Theresa also runs a popular website—TheTarotLady.com—where she dishes out advice, inspiration and tips for Tarot lovers of all experience levels.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest Theresa Reed (aka “The Tarot Lady”) has been a full-time Tarot card reader for close to 30 years. She is the author of The Tarot Coloring Book, an illustrated tour through the world of Tarot with coloring sheets for every card in the deck. In addition to doing private Tarot readings, teaching Tarot classes, and speaking at Tarot conferences, Theresa also runs a popular website—TheTarotLady.com—where she dishes out advice, inspiration and tips for Tarot lovers of all experience levels.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
The intersection of writing a book and the Imposter Complex
Tanya’s secret business weapon (hint! It’s Theresa!)
Theresa walks us through her writing process and the publishing process
How Theresa is a champion for her industry and peers
What Theresa has learned by stepping into her Starring Role
What Theresa would say to someone ready to rise above the pack
Pricing yourself as a creative or in the mystical profession
A live card reading
THERESA SAID//
Technically I’m a writer but I never considered myself a writer. I thought a writer was like Steven King.
Ultimately I was speaking in my own voice but then feeling worried about my own voice.
When you copy someone else, what is missing in yourself?
People want to take shortcuts instead of doing the internal work.
There is no fast and easy. Sometimes there’s fast. Sometimes there’s easy, but they are rarely together.
The meanest hate mail has never come from my clients, it’s come from my peers
Every time you take an evolutionary leap, there's always going to be someone threatened by it, jealous or they want to take some of it, but you can't get distracted by that.
Haters come from a very very small place.
Haters are sign that you've gotten to a new level, that you've struck a nerve and you're moving up.
You aren’t paying for your reading, you’re paying for my time, and my time is valuable.
We’ve got to bust through those glass ceilings and say NO! I will not be paid less than a man. Get paid ladies!
Sometimes we have to blow our own top, we have to get out of the stinkin thinking, and the only way to do that is to face the fear and dive in even if we can't see what's below us.
TANYA SAID//
Don’t mistake the depth of the power because it’s actually fun to do.
This is not going to shrink me. This is actually going to make me stronger
LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED//
“New levels bring new devils.” -Steve Maraboli
FIND THERESA
Theresa’s new book: The Tarot Coloring Book
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
Celebrate Someone's Light
“To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.” - Ben Franklin
Ohhhh, Ben. Your misogyny is showing.
But the truth is this: as a woman of public profile, most assuredly, someone’s going to come after you. And nine times out of ten, it’s another woman.
It just is.
And, honestly, there are no words that need to be wasted on that nonsense. We know why it happens. (Hey, hey, patriarchy that tells us there’s only enough room at the top and it's saved for dudes that look like Ben Franklin),
We can - and must - do better.
We can’t let comparison, envy and hero-worship get in the way any longer.
It’s a distraction that is keeping us from changing the mess we’re in.
I’ve written about putting away the scissors before. And I’ve conceded that not EVERYONE wants you to succeed.
And so today, I have some requests of you.
Be someone’s cheerleader.
Be someone’s hoist up.
Be someone’s presence.
Be someone’s open hand.
Be someone’s wish come true.
Be someone’s radiant mirror.
Be someone’s point of connection.
Be someone’s ear without feeling the need to fix or heal. (Anne Lamott said “help is the sunny side of control.” Huh.)
Be someone’s spotlight on their genius and talents.
And celebrate someone’s light like it’s your own.
Because you know what? It is.
Don’t believe me? Well, it’s true – even if you can’t see it.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Lena West
Lena is the leading expert on how women entrepreneurs can successfully and sanely grow a business on their own terms. She is also the Founder of Crescent: The Mastermind Experience, the only business growth mastermind program created specifically for women entrepreneurs over 40 and CEO DNA, a custom methodology for helping entrepreneurs determine their most effective business model based on personality, values, strengths, and other self-knowledge factors.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week’s guest is Lena West. Lena is the leading expert on how women entrepreneurs can successfully and sanely grow a business on their own terms. She is also the Founder of Crescent: The Mastermind Experience, the only business growth mastermind program created specifically for women entrepreneurs over 40 and CEO DNA, a custom methodology for helping entrepreneurs determine their most effective business model based on personality, values, strengths, and other self-knowledge factors.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
Many people (especially entrepreneurs) still believe there is a one-size-fits-all road to success.
You don’t have to fit into a formula to be a successful CEO. You can create your own brand of CEO.
If we don’t know who we are and what our strengths and gifts are, we might end up “hiring ourselves” and failing to execute our vision.
Be willing to meet yourself for who you really are and don’t beat yourself up for what you are not.
Be aware that some people will cling to you because they want to siphon your energy.
LENA SAID//
Everyone has a gift of marketing. You just need to find out what your gift is.
You can be your own brand of CEO. Don’t exclude yourself from that pool because you’re not a dude who’s working in Silicon Valley. The definition of CEO has got to change.
For the past two or three years, women have really been stepping in and stepping up, and I want to continue that onto the business front. I want to say, “Listen. You can be your own brand of CEO. Whatever it is that you want to be your brand of CEO, it can be that for you. It doesn’t have to be somebody else’s stiff, cold, patriarchal definition of what someone who runs a company looks like and is like.
[Your personal CEO DNA] gives you the freedom to walk away from things that aren’t working and embrace things that will work. It is not based on my opinion of you, it is not based on what I think you can do, it is based on who you are.
You don’t have to suffer for success. You don’t have to do the “should’s.”
You can build your business however you want. Are there best practices? Are there rules of thumb? Absolutely. Are there guidelines? Sure. Does success leave clues? Absolutely. But you can build your business however you want.
I want women to release the feeling that they have to do things a certain way.
You don’t have to do a damn thing you don’t want to do. I tell people all the time: I do a lot of things I don’t like to do, but I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. And I don’t want that for anybody else.
People will want to be around you not because they love you or because they love who you are, but because they want to siphon. They want to draw from your energy because they have not yet learned how to cultivate their own. It’s your job to as the CEO to protect your confidence and to really exercise discernment.
We hire ourselves because we don’t know who to hire and we don’t have a system for hiring.
When you’re an entrepreneur, you’re not a “finisher” typically. Some people are “finishers” but I think there's a lot of shame… There’s a lot of articles out there that say, “You need to be able to execute, and you need to be able to get it done, and you should be able to wake up early in the morning, and you need to be able to finish your projects, and you need to be able to ship.” You don’t need to be able to do anything other than figure out how to get the stuff shipped, okay? Sometimes that’s you and sometimes, that ain’t you. Sometimes that’s you delegating the shipment to somebody else on your team.
[The person you hire] needs to be able to execute if you’re not an execution person. If you hire yourself, who’s executing?
Be willing to meet a side of yourself that you’ve never met and be willing to accept her, be willing to leverage her, and don’t resist anything that you might see that may be different than what you thought you knew about yourself.
People who want to drain your energy say things like “I just want to be around you. I just want to talk to you. Let’s just talk about anything.” Nope. If you just want to grab onto the coattails of my energy, I can’t have that. I need my energy for me, I need my energy for my family, and I need my energy for my work.
TANYA SAID//
One of the things you said [to me in my own session] that has been really helpful was, “Be mindful of the people who just want to be around you just because of your energy.” That has been tricky and it has been extremely helpful and clarifying for me..
From the impostor complex lens, people pleasing (super tricky, it’s one of the coping mechanisms for the impostor complex)... For the people pleasers that also have this kind of DNA, it’s tricky [to discern].
I think that oftentimes we give being in [our head] a pretty bad rap. Sometimes it’s appropriate to be in the head. Get into your body.
FIND LENA
Add Lena on Facebook and send her a message to book your own CEO DNA session!
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
Are You Sure?
One month ago today, I made a decision to engage in a thought experiment of sorts.
I decided that I would no longer ask the question “Are you sure?”
Are you sure you don’t want me to buy a watermelon?
Are you sure you don’t want me to shift around some calls and take you to the appointment?
Are you sure you only want to charge me that amount?
Because here’s what I had started to notice:
As I was asking the question, I had started to discern varying degrees of hope that the answer would be “Yes, I’m sure.”
Because when I would get really, really brutally honest with myself, the truth was:
I didn’t want to buy the watermelon that would sit uneaten on the counter attracting fruit flies.
I didn’t want to reschedule my calls.
I didn’t want to pay more than was initially requested.
Now, as always, there are exceptions. And the exception is this: If you really want it, I will do my best to make it happen.
You want that watermelon? It’s yours.
Me taking you to the appointment will bring ease to your life? I’ll be there fifteen minutes early.
You’re aware that you’ve been undercharging and are ready to make it right? I’m here for paying what’s fair.
But if I have to talk you into something I’m not really feeling?
Well, that’s resentment just waiting to happen, isn’t it?
Yes, indeed.
When I started to get curious about why I had been asking, for oh-so-long if people were sure they didn’t want X-Y-Z, I also noticed that there was something else here too.
Arrogance in a presumption that I know better. Clearly you are not hearing me and clearly I know better so how about you reconsider your response.
For one month, I’ve not asked “Are you sure?”
Here’s what I’ve noticed:
My social contracts have become cleaner and clearer and far more efficient.
You say you want this. I say I want that. Let’s meet in the middle.Now when I make someone an offer, I know I need to be sure it’s pure and true.
People are learning to take me up on what I offer right away, striking while the opportunity knocks, knowing I won’t ask twice.
If the door has closed on the offer I made, they have the agency to come back and ask for it. And I will respond as is appropriate to me and the new circumstances.
Clean. Clear. Done.
And, best of all, I’m noticing people around me are also shelving “Are you sure?” - suspending the ever-prolonged dance of the polite. Especially my daughter. In one scant month, I can see her giving much more thought to making offers and receiving offers. The equivocating and qualifying and apologizing has been scaled way back. Win.
I invite you to shelve “Are you sure?” too. Try it for a month. See just how better your own social contracts feel.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.