What do procrastination, perfectionism, comparison, leaky boundaries, diminishment and people-pleasing all have in common?
(Nope. This isn’t a joke. We’ve already established that I’m no masterful joke crafter.)
Well, of course they are each a massive pain in the ass and an impediment to getting your work out in the way you want, ammirite?
But digging in a little deeper, they are also common habits for people struggling with the Impostor Complex.
And while we don’t typically experience them all at once (oh LORD…can you imagine a worse fate?) we often experience one or two more acutely that the others. For me, my particular poison is people-pleasing. It’s still acute for me.
But what fascinates me the most about these behaviours is the way in which they are all double binds.
And it’s this fascination that has lead me to create the six-part webinar series called the Untying the Binds of the Impostor Complex.
Here’s why I can’t stop, won’t stop talking about the Impostor Complex. The richness staggers.
Each of the six behaviours actually feeds our confirmation bias. That tendency to find proof that our beliefs are right. And the belief with the Impostor Complex: You don’t belong. You are a fraud. It’s just a matter of time before they find out.
And so on.
For instance, last month, we untied the double binds of procrastination.
We saw how when we suffer from the Impostor Complex, and are about to start something we might feel wobbly about because we’ve never done it before, we might procrastinate in the beginning. We avoid getting to it for fear of imminent failure (or the magnitude of the job, or the difficulty level, or even success). And in the procrastination and putting the work off, we start to feel helpless, foolish, amateurish and beat ourselves up for succumbing (once again) to this habit or pattern of ours. When we finally dig ourselves out from under the mess, we may end up producing work that is sub-par.
And then we use that sub-par effort as PROOF that we are frauds and not worthy of the opportunity we were given. (Someone far more capable than us wouldn’t have procrastinated in the first place, we think.)
See? It can trip you up coming AND going. Like I said, fascinating. And entirely overcome-able.
That’s the fabulous news.
So, in the coming months, I will be diving deeper, much deeper into the inner workings of each of these behaviours in my free six-part webinar series.
Next week, we’ll be exploring the Perfection Paradox on March 23rd, 2pm EDT / 11a PDT (register here). It ALSO happens to be the first year anniversary of the Starring Role Playbook. Expect some special treats.
Email us with any questions you have about the Impostor Complex, perfectionism and I’ll do my best to get to them on the webinar.