Know why you’re feeling so wobbly? Know why you feel like you’re freaking out?
It’s okay, love. And it’s actually quite simple.
You’ve never been here before.
In your lifetime, you have never seen the likes of what you’re seeing in your newsfeed. In fact, even HAVING a newsfeed is new - relatively speaking. So you’re seeing every preposterous tweet. Every unimaginable utterance. Every inflammatory order. Every doomsday prediction.
You’ve never faced this before. Few have.
And when you’re on the precipice of something new, you tend to freak out.
It’s what you (WE) do. Well, those of us who come up against the Impostor Complex, that is.
Those of us who feel a cellular need to GET IT RIGHT. With impenetrable values of mastery, excellence, and integrity. (That’s key.)
Now, normally, I talk about this in the context of the NEW you desire.
The new level. The new opportunity. The new role.
This NEW, of course, is not THE new you had hoped for.
But it’s the new that’s here.
And it’s calling you, US, forth.
And you don’t know how to DO IT RIGHT. Yet.
Just like you didn’t know how to take the stage until you just took it.
Just like you didn’t know how to be a parent until you held your child in your arms.
Just like you didn’t know how to manage someone else before you were made a manager.
You were new to that then. You are new to this now. So cut yourself a massive piece of slack.
OF COURSE you want to do it right. You want to honor those values of mastery, excellence, and integrity.
For yourself, to be certain. And for everyone around you.
No pressure, eh?
And your Impostor Complex, with its incredibly high standards and competence extremities (i.e.: “Lie #3 of the Impostor Complex: You are all or nothing”), are berating you for what you are doing, aren’t doing and all in-between. So, you’re still on the outside. Freaking out on the inside.
I get it.
Oh, and also:
THE STAKES FEEL HIGH.
It feels like it’s all on the line.
Because there’s a way in which it is.
Yes. We all need to rally.
But how should we rally?
From our own known sources of strength. (click to tweet)
Decide what role you need to play. And step in.
What are YOUR strengths? (Try hard not to compare yours to others - stay in your lane of competence and mastery. I repeat: What are YOUR strengths?)
Speaking? Speak what you know so that you may inspire the same in others.
Writing? Write what you know so that you may inspire the same in others.
Coaching? Coach your heart out and get your people into the action they are here to activate upon.
Parenting? Parent like your life depends on it. Feed their minds and hearts and be there to soothe their furrowed brows.
Cooking? We will need soup and comfort.
Healer? Heal. Use all of your tools and heal others.
Hosting? Gather the people.
Share what you have. Share what you do. Bring the joy you have to those who are out of joy. Bring light to those sitting in the dark.
We need marchers and activists. And, yes. we need artists and bakers, too.
Do your job and do it better than ever.
Feeling called to step into a role that you really don’t know?
Learn from those who have been here before. Who have been fighting injustice their whole lives. They are your teachers. Honor their teachings. Honor their hard-earned wisdom and be their willing apprentice. If you show up with tenacity and willingness and a beginner’s mind, they will hand you the tools. Thank them. And then use them wisely.
Still don’t know what to do next?
I shared this on Facebook, and it bears repeating: when you don't quite know what to believe and don't quite know what to do, here are three simple steps towards liberation from the spinning.
- Take a deep breath, with an extra sip of oxygen at the top of your inhalation. Exhale.
- Ask your heart what it needs, and listen for the answer.
- Ask your gut what it wants you to do next.
No matter where you are at, keep your eye on the bigger picture.
Then act in the increments most appropriate to your capacity.
Yes. You may mess up and say and do the wrong things. (That’s always possible.)
No, you may not be fully ready. (No one was ever fully ready. For anything.)
Of course, there is room for you to improve. (That’s the only good news that comes with the Impostor Complex.)
We’re going to need all of you. But it’s not ALL on you. (click to tweet)