When you fully step into the starring role of your life, start sharing the full expression of who you are and the important work you’re creating, lots of magical things start to happen. It’s inevitable. What’s also inevitable is that some people in your life may not really understand it. And, this will likely sting a bit. No matter how self-possessed and assured we are, it will matter, even as we know it “shouldn’t”. It just does.
Your work will be in being okay with it.
They just don’t get THIS PART of you. I know how huge this part of you is. How transformative and important your work is. And how it could, quite possibly, change the world for the better. But they don’t get it.
And there’s a spectrum of not-gettingness.
There’s the “I want to get this and support you, but I don’t get it”.
Then there’s the “I don’t really get this, nor do I need to ‘cause you SEEM to have a good handle on it, so I’m not going to bother.”
And finally there’s the “I don’t get this, and never will get this and think you’re a lunatic for wasting your life in this way. And I’m going to tell you so, liberally, frequently and with derision”.
You get to choose how you want to be with these people.
You may decide to be patient with them, recognizing that you’ve been preparing for this role your whole life. They haven’t caught up. Yet.
You may decide to change their minds. You may decide to confront them and filibuster for their support.
You may decide to call them out for their derision. You may decide that this latest display of disrespect is the last in a long history of sucking your energy dry and to let them go.
However you deal with these folks, remember one final inevitability that WILL occur as you step into the starring role of your life and do your important work:
The people that GET it will show up. They are your fans, your champions and your new source of inspiration and motivation.
A couple of weeks ago, I had challenging conversations with two different people in my personal realm about my life’s work as a coach. Both conversations left me feeling isolated, a little bewildered, and admittedly, pissed off. That my work was so misunderstood, seemingly irrelevant and trivial. And then, I came back to read this post about the value of coaching from one of my beloved clients, wherein she states:
I could have named this article “Top Ten Reasons I Love Tanya Geisler.”
Validation. Blissful, important validation. Right or wrong, it felt fabulous. And it reminded me, of course, how I am indeed on the right path.
And it made me grateful. To the champions in my life. Of which I am blessed to have many.
And gratitude made way for more gratitude. As I allowed my irritation to get swept away by Dara’s generous kindness, I discovered that I was feeling grateful to the people in my life for showing up where they are, and for serving as models for how I want to treat (or not treat others) others as THEY step into the starring roles of their lives. To be more curious about other people’s work. I may not always be as sensitive as I like to hold myself. And I will continue, patiently, down that path myself.