42 Truths your Imposter Complex Doesn’t Want You to Know
This is for the marketer who hedges on their own marketing.
The coach filled with self-doubt that their clients will find out they have self-doubt.
The writer, unsure they have anything worth writing.
The business owner, afraid of the success just around the corner.
The leader stalled with bouts of uncertainty.
The visionary whose vision has been shrouded by the Imposter Complex.
The artist, stymied by comparison, who isn’t sharing her art.
The parent, partner, sibling, sister, daughter, friend constantly trying to do more because she’s afraid what she does is never enough.
In short...these truths the Imposter Complex doesn’t want you to know are for humans dead-smack in the middle of their humanness.
But before we dive on in, let’s take a pause and a breath.
There are 42 truths in this well that are on my mind this week. And though they all feel like Capital T TRUTHS, they are most likely lower t truths. Because context is everything and matters most. And the idea of there being “one right way for ANYTHING” smacks of white supremacy culture nonsense.
I trust you to know what you need to read. To remember. And to reclaim.
Given that, go on and drink deeply...finding what most slakes your particular thirst.
And remember that your Imposter Complex (here’s why we call it Imposter Complex and not imposter syndrome ‘round these parts) doesn’t want you to know these truths. It wants to keep you out of action, doubting your capacity, and alone and isolated.
But I believe that out of these 42 drops of truth? At least one is for you.
You will not exhaust all your excellent ideas at once. Stop hoarding your good shit.
There is room for you at every table you wish to sit at. And there are also tables that you are required to build yourself.
Feedback is a gift. It may not always fit, but if given with care and intention, it is to be savoured.
You will not please everyone. Nor do you need to.
If it starts with “I’ll be happy when…”, it’s not a goal. It’s a trap.
What you admire in others lives within you too.
If you want to experience wonder, you’ll need to relinquish the need to figure it all out.
You can't spell "integrity" without "grit".
All obstacles seem smaller once you've overcome them. And this is why we celebrate. It seals in the goodness.
You will be too much for some and not nearly enough for others. And in between the two, there lives an entire world waiting for you exactly as you are.
Allow yourself to be astonished by the good fortune of your existence.
Remembering that you’re human is often the most humane thing you can do.
Your tenacity is currency.
The more you expect of yourself, the more you can count on yourself.
Keep awake to your blazing beauty, brilliance and wisdom.
You’re bigger than your doubts.
See yourself the way you want to be seen.
You are not your numbers.
You can be fiercely independent AND lean into the support and care around you.
You are not contractually obligated to be small. And if you ARE, then it's time to write a new contract.
There is a world of difference between getting noticed and being seen.
Your calling made no mistake when it chose you.
You DO have excellent ideas. AND you are smart/connected/important enough to make them happen.
Jealousy is simply the by-product of a devoted belief in scarcity. Check your devotion.
Your job is to evolve. No apologies required. (Yes...this means you GET to change your mind. And NO, this does not mean you are flakey. Discernment for the win.)
The Imposter Complex robs us of the joy we have earned.
There are no badges for procrastinating on the things that move you forward.
“I’ve tried everything” is another way to try to offset disappointment. Fair enough. And still, I wonder...have you tried everything?
You know more than you think and you’ll never know it all. (Feel the grief AND the relief in that?)
You may think no one will be interested in what you have to say...but what if you’re quite wrong about that?
There are likely no “official” credentials, degrees or certificates for the precise brand of expertise you already hold.
They can’t find you if you stay hidden.
No...you can’t do it ALL. But your SOME just may be more than enough. Stop stopping.
If they’re hearing you say the thing for the second time, they NEEDED to hear you say it for the second time.
You may be looking for proof that doesn’t yet exist because you have yet to create it.
If you’re worried about swinging out too much, you probably still have plenty of space to swing out.
Your work matters. But it is not the only measure of your worth.
No matter how good its PR, perfectionism does not create immunity from criticism, nor does it assure safety, love and belonging.
The next level you desire is yours to step into. But the steps needed will not be mapped out in endless social media scrolling.
If they only love you when you’re diminishing yourself, that’s not love.
Honour your word to others, to be certain. But be sure to honour your word to yourself. That’s where the real integrity lives.
You will realize the infinite opportunities available to you by becoming the solution. Opportunities AND impact.
Feeling seen?
I hope so.
And if you still feel thirsty for the impact you are desiring to create, reach out to book some time with me over the next two weeks to discuss. Your Impeccable ICONIC program may be the right next step...like it was for Cerise.
“I now have the courage to think bigger, knowing I have all the tools and skills needed to become the solution. And the impact will be one of sincere human connection (personally) and COLLECTIVE transformation (professionally).” -Cerise S.