Articles
My friend, the metal clay artist
Heather Bell Denison is a brave woman. She is mother of two boys, is a trained Occupational Therapist and is a funny, funny woman. When she told me two years ago that she was leaving the comforts of her profession to become a potter, I gulped, smiled bravely for her and wished her the very best of luck. I felt a tinge of exhilaration for her…but then turned my thoughts elsewhere.
I didn’t think much of it again until I saw her at a community event…she was selling the most amazing, unique and quirky pieces of fine silver jewellery I had ever seen (including a 3D house pendant…proceeds going to a local women’s shelter). We talked and talked…and as much as she had ENJOYED the clay work, she didn’t LOVE it…until she figured out a way to work in silver the way she worked in clay…in a relatively new medium called precious metal clay. Eureka! She is a happy happy woman. And now the world cares. The world cares about people who have spark. I have zero “physical/scientific” proof of that…but it just seems right.
Heather is part of the community of inspiration that helped me to switch direction and launch my business - Board of Your Life. As such, it seemed only natural that she be the one to create a pendant for me of my logo. I give this pendant to my program alumni.
The intention of the gift is for them to be physically reminded of the brave step they took towards getting to their best selves. Not a NEW self, but their TRUE self. Which is their BEST self. (Cuff links are in the works!) The logo is also intended to be a reminder that we can always come full circle back to ourselves…that we ARE everything that we need.
It is my (admittedly lofty) hope that everyone everywhere finds and takes the opportunity to take their own life’s pulse…to ask themselves if they are being their BEST selves and living their BEST life.
With or without my pendant around their necks.
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The Yoga Confidence
This morning, the family took a little trip to the Metro Toronto Convention Centre to check out the Yoga Conference, or as our daughter kept calling it...”the yoga confidence”. My husband took in a demonstration, my daughter and I bought as much stuff as we could hook or strap on to her stroller and it was generally a very fun outing.
We enjoyed the phrase “the yoga confidence” as merely a cute mispronunciation of a 5-year old…but then I really started to see the true parallels. The way I see it, yoga ought to be less about our butts looking cute in luon and much more about challenging ourselves physically and mentally…and building confidence along the way. I personally struggle the most with the calming of my mind and stilling thoughts. The Sanskrit phrase "yogas citta vritti nirodhah" translates as "Yoga begins when thinking stops”. I’ve been working hard on this…really hard…probably harder than is yogically acceptable.
Arm balances still also kick my sorry behind, so to this end, we’re going back tomorrow to take in a 2-hour clinic on twists, back bends, arm balances and inversions. If I survive it, and actually get even close to doing a headstand, you’ll see me wandering the conference aisles lit up with the glow that only genuine confidence can bring.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
When bad people do bad things…
About a month ago I was enjoying a lovely lunch with a lovely friend. I came out to my lovely 6-month old parked car, only to find a not so lovely gouge out of my rear taillight and left bumper. Lovelily (sp?) there was a note from a Good Samaritan (henceforth to be referred to as GS). I will paraphrase here, but it generally said a van smashed into my car, paused for a nanosecond (long enough for GS to get down the license plate number), the driver then cackled and rubbed his hands fiendishly (ok…that could be my interpretation) and sped off. Rather than elaborating on the minutiae of the steps that I/we had to take to get to this point (one month later) with fixed car, I’ll bullet point here:
Trying to find the right person to talk to find out what to do now – 1 hour
Reporting to the vehicle collision reporting centre – 2 hours
Taking car in for estimate – 1 hour
On phone with insurance company to find out that if they don’t catch the guy, they’ll pay the $3000 in damages, but we’re on the hook for $500 deductible – 1 hour
Taking car in for repair and working out rental car – 2 hours
Time complaining aloud about the rental car we were given (I’ll not brand slag here…not my style…but suffice it to say, we dubbed it the “Crapnica”) – countless
Picking up happy new car – 1 hour
So…that was all the petty, annoying stuff. Here’s the good part. The day that we were to pick up our car, we got a call from the insurance company…they found the guy. I am by no means a punitive person…BUT after having gone through close to 8 hours of time to resolve the issue and the hassles therein, I would have been beside myself if we had to be out of pocket $500 as well.
And here’s the silly part. As NON-punitive as I am, I would have happily worked something out with the guy if he had have left the note himself, owned up to it and done the right thing. Now…hours of police/insurance tracking time have lead them to him and he’ll face some charges, impact his record and insurance AND be out of pocket. Not cool.
The moral for me…be like GS, and always do the right thing. Good guys win, bad guys don’t. And the reality is…if you do something wrong, you’ll likely get busted…and the punishment is always so much worse at that point.
I’m also aware that GS really didn’t need to bother…many wouldn’t have…perhaps even me given the situation. But I will now…so thank you for that lesson, GS. Am trying to pay it forward.
Now if only we could track down the charming originator of the virus that crippled my computer for the last 5 days…
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Transparency
In my life, both personally (as wife, mother, friend, citizen of the world) and professionally (as Coach and Program Facilitator), I endeavour to honour my values. As I've written and will continue to write, sometimes these values are at cross purposes. Choices are made as I ask which ones are most important in a given situation. Today, I choose to honour transparency. On Wednesday afternoon, our family cat died. I was with her as she went and I know the following: we saved her from certain starvation (she was a stray who found us just before winter set in at our family cottage); she had a very good life (if not full by our standards, but lots of sun spots for lengthy snoozes, plenty of food and a perpetual place on our laps and in our arms); and she loved, above all, being a mother's helper to us when it came to raising our daughter...she would even get cross if we upset our daughter in any way.
I also know that this will pass, that there are lessons in here for our family and that I am making a choice right now to be with this (when I could *easily* push through stoically, as our society so often dictates)...but I owe it to myself to honour my value of honesty and say the following:
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
2% milk
The “2%” in reference to milk is a bit of a misnomer to me. It’s not really addressing 2% MILK…it’s addressing the 2% FAT in the milk. But we’re not considering that when we drink it…we’re simply intent on drinking the milk. At a CTI training course this weekend, our skillful leaders Ken and Nina introduced us to the notion of 2%. Consider something you feel strongly about. A person you respect, an image you love, a flavour you detest. Here’s an example: I detest the fluoride treatment I got when I was a kid (especially bubble gum flavour…oooh and the feeling of those horrid styrofoam trays that you had to clamp in your teeth). Got your own example clear in your mind? Envision it, feel it and hold it clear.
Now…consider the complete OPPOSITE. Yeah, I know…it feels weird because it’s completely untrue. I now LOVE the getting the fluoride treatment. So…get that clear in your mind. Own it, feel it, see it smell it…how wrong that statement is for you.
NOW…find the 2% of this perspective that IS true. WHAAAAA? Impossible…the flavour would make me gag. It would make my tears well up as I tried to not throw up. Think, think, think…how can there be any truth in the statement that I could love the treatment. Here are a couple of ways: I live in a country rich enough to make kids’ dental care a priority. I got to miss class because of this temporary discomfort. With this coating of goop, I am now invincible and can eat all the sugary crap I want (I was a kid, after all). Not so nauseated now.
There’s a nugget of truth in every perspective…it may just be 2%, but there’s still gold in them there hills.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Spa-stic
I enjoyed 90 minutes of sheer bliss yesterday in the lap of luxury. A massage in one of the city’s premiere spas…for an hour and a half with my husband….we relished, cherished and nourished. And after the 90 minutes were over, I couldn’t seem to wait to get the heck out of there. What is that??? There is a tea room of luxurious proportions and a changing room with listening pods to heighten my bliss...and I’m thinking “let’s go and get some veggie dogs!!!!!!” So what does this say about me? I used to have a golden retriever named Jesse who simply couldn’t wait to get to the other side of the street (knowing the park or the best hydrant was thattaway). When I cross the street unnecessarily prematurely, my husband accuses me of doing a “Jesse”. So…it would be safe to assume that is the reason I make a bee-line out of spas….to get on with things.
But here it is. Yet another confession. This time in caps. I FEEL LIKE A SPAZ IN SPAS. I am always fumbling with my robe sash, my flip-flops forever squeak and I perpetually lose my keycard. I ooh and aah over waterfalls, heartily huff the aromas of the teas and giggle when my feet are fondled. In short…I do not belong. My money (or moreover, my gift certificate) is as good as anyone else’s there, yet, I am a fish out of water…or, maybe a better fish analogy: a carp in a koi pond.
As I reread what I just wrote, I realize that the biggest distinction between myself and my spa-mates (other than my constant robe adjustment) comes down to the simple fact that I have not perfected the look of utter detached boredom. I could work on that, I suppose…but why bother? I think I’ll continue to rejoice in the treat that I afford myself twice a year…because it IS a treat for me.
Being more joyful in the moment…wherever that is (this side of the street, that side of the street, in a tea lounge or at a hot dog cart) shall remain my continuing mission.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.