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Me, my Boss and I (part 2)
Do forgive me if there are some typos in this posting. I’m typing this out on my back deck and am coping with the computer screen’s glare. Nice problem to have, I’ll admit. You see, I’ve really taken my last blog posting to heart about being my own best boss. I’m like the Scrooge on Christmas morning treating myself all over town for my great work. I cannot be stopped! In fact, I’m playing hooky (sp?) tomorrow! Mind you, I am having summer tires put on the car, the house prepped for a house swap with a friend this weekend and 2 client calls…but still, there’s a pedicure planned in there, so it feels like a day off!!!
I love that there’s a shift in our collective consciousness a-brewing about rewarding ourselves. A client passed this on to me after my last entry.
Today, my reward for some good efforts is to work from my back deck (26 degrees out here) for an hour and a half (or until my battery dies) and sip cranberry soda. I have another 40 minutes of power...and another application of sunscreen. How will you reward yourself today?
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Me, my Boss, and I
The word “kindness” has been coming up a lot lately…in reference to me. Apparently, my circle of influence thinks I’ve been beating myself up as it pertains to my business of late. I, of course, think there’s nothing wrong with being an overachiever when it comes to my own stuff. Being Type “A” is a good thing….isn’t it? I realized my hypocrisy when I found myself suggesting to a dear client that they might offer themselves a dose of kindness.
I got off that call feeling great about some things that we worked through in our session and then went back to my desk. I sat down, shook my head at my ever-increasing to-do list (or worse still…the pile of sticky notes that have yet to be even transcribed ON TO the to-do list) and felt that tightness in my shoulders that I get when I start to feel overwhelmed.
I thought about this dichotomy. Why one thing is good for my clients but not me.
I realized something today…that I have been running my business as a business (duh) but not with a lot of empathy to my staff of me. I realized that if I reported to a boss that was as unyielding as I’ve been, I’d have quit long ago (and I’m no quitter!!!)
I started to think back to my former corporate life and reflected on the way I treated those who reported to me. I’d argue that I was fair, equitable and appreciative. (And if you ever reported to me and thought differently, email me and we’ll talk!)
So…why am I so hard on myself? In my business, I’m making great headway, have phenomenal clients, am honing my craft, my work ethic is strong and my intentions are excellent. I come up with creative solutions to complex problems and anything else you can think of that would have me ace a performance review. I decided that my new maxim ought to be: “Do unto yourself as you’d do unto others”.
I decided to give myself a little bonus today (and I do mean little as I’ve yet to develop a bonus structure for my exemplary staff). A pretty plant that will remind me to breathe.
Because I’m THAT kind of boss. A good boss. And a kind boss.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Saying "NAY" to the naysayers
Listen to the MUSTN’Ts, child Listen to the DON’TS Listen to the SHOULDN’TS, The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS Listen to the NEVER HAVES, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child ANYTHING can be. -- Shel Silverstein
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about Ray Zahab and his incredible journeys…both physical and emotional. I heard back from a lot of people saying they were incredibly moved by his tenacity...I hope they shared that with him too.
Part of his story that really resonated with me was the number of people that showed up for him right before his first race (100 miles in the Yukon no less…please, if you haven’t read the post, please do so now...it’s wild). They said he couldn’t do it…and was crazy for even trying. (BTW - if I could SCRIPT the voices of my own saboteurs, they’d say just those very things…so to have people actually SAY those words to me would be devastating.) Ray kept on going, regardless…sticks and stones and all the rest.
And guess what happened in that race? Not only did he FINISH…he WON!!!! This is the stuff that movies are made of. WOO HOOO!!!!!!!
So...why DO we pay to see these stories in the movies?? Because we always tell ourselves we can’t do what’s in our heart…and to have others validate that for us can be crushing…but almost a relief in that it “permits” us to not go on.
But sometimes we do go on.
I bet we’ve all done something more courageous than we think…and were probably told not to bother even trying. Feel like sharing your moment?
I’ll start: When others thought I shouldn’t, I listened to my heart and did the hard thing…and am grateful every day that I did.
What did you enjoy getting right that others thought you’d get wrong?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Why the media likes to suck lulu-lemons...
The media never misses an opportunity to poke gentle fun at Lululemon’s yin/yang balance of brand (eastern philosophy and enviro-consciousness) and business acumen (P&L statements and aggressive growth targets). Articles regularly abound with headers such as “Zen and the Art of Retailing.”Some find the company pretentious and overpriced; others feel it’s a welcome antidote to the proliferation of big box suburban sprawl in cities like Toronto. But no one can deny they reached the right niche at the right time.
In an April 13 Globe & Mail profile of Chip Wilson, the founder and past-CEO offered a few interesting nuggets about his decision to hand over the reins of the company but remain as their “Chief Idea Officer”:
“Once an entrepreneur gets hold of how wonderful it is to be good at what they're good at - and let someone else do what they're not good at - that's when life gets really fun.”
Chip sees the value in focusing your life on what inspires you wherever possible—this is advice we’d all do well to take.
PS - He sponsors run in Vancouver in support of a children's hospital called "Chip's not dead yet". Rationale? "I don't want to wait until two minutes before I die to be excited about my life. I found that by envisioning my death, it has got me more excited about living right now."
Getting excited about life NOW? I'll say it again...this is advice we'd all do well to take.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Thinking and smiling...and smiling and thinking
I have a dear friend…he knows lots of things about a lot of things. And when he tells me to look at something, it’s always worthwhile. It may make me smile, it may make me think. It may make me think AND smile. I received this attachment when I arrived home after a long and interesting day in a conference about “change management”. Top-line learnings of the conference…an affirmation that we are expected to work better, faster, harder, smarter, for less of everything because that’s just the sign o’ the times. And what about the satisfaction of a job well done? Well, it seems that nowadays your project gets yanked off your plate before you can even complete it because, you guessed it, mandates have changed. Yoink. So that simple pleasure’s gone too. There are ways to work within the constructs of change…and yes, outcomes can be very positive…but bottom line…change can be hard.
I watched this and smile I did…for four minutes. So I smiled…then I thought…who might have done this and why? I’ll tell you this…I don’t know WHY they did THIS particular stunt (as a means to sell), but can only guess that they THOUGHT people could use a smile. And they’d be right…oh so very right.
And what better way to make people smile but to pipe in the beloved Sound of Music…with some kind of Spike Jonze inspired-Macarena and I *think* grapevine thrown in (but it’s been a while since I’ve broken out into dance in a busy train station so my dance move terminology may be off).
The last bit of thinking I care to do today is to challenge myself to answer this question…"what have I done to make someone smile…simply for the joy of making them smile”. Sounds like a fun think to ponder as I drift off to sleep.
Thank you for the smile, Central Station Antwerp people, whatever your intentions may have been…and to my friend for sharing it.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Ray Zahab...inspiration incarnate
It’s been oft-quoted that Lao Tzu said “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” What’s the first step in a 1,100 km trek in Antarctica? But now I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go even further back… what’s the first step if you’re a pack-a-day smoker, 30 and generally feeling sluggish and like you’re missing out? For Ray Zahab…the step was asking himself if this was really what his life was all about. And his answer to himself? “No. There’s more…much more…I’m just not sure what”.
In the relatively short span of 10 years, Ray overhauled his entire life. He made the decision to butt out (a feat in and of itself), adopt a healthier lifestyle, and get active. An enjoyment of hiking and mountain biking eventually (and unbelievably) led him to ultra-marathoning in the Canadian north and the Amazon jungle. Pushing the envelope even further, Ray and two other ultra-runners made history in 2007 by running 4,300 miles across the entire Sahara Desert.
By this time, he wasn’t facing the challenge of extreme sport only for his own satisfaction. Using the profile of his success for a greater good, Ray and two others accomplished the trek which in turn raised awareness of clean-water initiatives in Africa. You may remember it…it was the subject of the Matt Damon-narrated Running the Sahara. In January, Ray completed the South Pole Quest to raise awareness about climate change. Antarctica. Really and truly.
I am fascinated by people who make changes in their lives…at the core of the Board of Your Life philosophy is that, deep down inside, everyone has the tools to initiate change and become their best self. They need only find ways to identify and use those tools. Ray is an extreme embodiment of that…and upon learning about this incredibly cool man, I reached out to him to talk about his feats. He generously agreed to speak to me…told you he was cool.
Here are some of the highlights on our talk about his thoughts on motivation and inspiration…two of my very favourite topics. Ray on the “Stuck” Mindset—and how Mindsets can Change
With the changes in the world and the internet connecting people on a global scale, we’re now more aware that we only have one life to live and we have to take advantage of it. We have more diverse perspectives on the world which makes it easier to see that we have to make the most of every day we’re here. I think perhaps people look at their lives more introspectively than they used to—people get to 40 or 50 and think there’s got to be more to life.
Ray on his own Change
I needed something symbolic to happen in order to turn my life around. I butted out my last cigarette on New Year’s Eve in 1999. The next day i felt subtly different—nothing had really changed except that I had made a big decision, but the new mindset was definitely there. The commitment I made to myself was more important than the actual act of quitting smoking. I told myself I’d do the very best I could moving forward, and there was no looking back from there.
Once I started getting in shape, I spent the next three years doing mountain bike races, but I couldn’t understand why anyone wanted to run. I ran about five times between 2000 and 2003, but it never really took.
Then one day I was reading about ultra-marathoners and a race in the Yukon that was 100 miles nonstop—the fact that these people were running four times the distance of a marathon…I couldn’t believe it. How did they get past the emotional and physical barriers? There was a photo of one guy pulling the sled with all the supplies, looking so happy for his accomplishment, but what struck me was that he looked like a normal guy. It was like he was speaking to me from the page of the magazine. I decided then that I had to do this.
I was in shape from three years of biking but I bought a cheap sled at WalMart and started training.
Ray on Facing Significant Challenge
I went to the Yukon and thought that everyone at the start line looked more athletic, more able than me. Of course it was extremely difficult to continue on through the pain and the cold, and about halfway through I almost quit. I remember thinking in the middle of the night “how do I get out of this?” and I realized that it was the old Ray thinking; I was trying to find an excuse to get out of the commitment I made to myself.
I remembered the phrase “what are you made of?” and was driven by the fact that the race wasn’t about finishing; it was about being true to myself. I got up and started walking, soon I was running, and it was 20 kilometres down the trial, then 40, then 80. At the finish line I could hardly believe I made it, and I was still running at a good clip. I felt better than I’d ever felt in my life, and this was at the end of 160 kilometres. It was the first running race I had ever done.
The organizer came out and couldn’t believe I finished, but then he blew me away when he told me that I had won! It was so incredible a feeling—your highest high but without substance abuse. I decided that day that I was going to go around the world and do all of these races and test myself in the process.
Ray on Finding a Higher Purpose
When I was racing across the Sahara in 2004, I met nomads in the desert and this little girl asked for my water bottle. I thought she wanted it as a toy, but she was actually excited just to have the little bit of water that was left. This affected me for a long time but I remembered it acutely when word came that Matt Damon was interested in making a documentary film of our journey in northern Africa. He’s passionate about the water crisis there, but I hadn’t realized how serious the issue is, along with malaria and poverty.
At the end of the Sahara trip I realized I had to do something to make a difference in the lives of children. When I got to the Red Sea, I realized we’re all capable of doing extraordinary things. It’s a true belief that we can do anything we set our minds to- and a will to work incredibly hard to make things happen. The biggest changes we make in life are the positive ones. In some cases it’s a lot easier to be unhappy than happy on a given day. I don’t believe people are negative by nature, but some have to start by making the effort to be happy in their day to day lives, and they can make that change with hard work—but before long it shouldn’t feel like work anymore. I once was unhappy too- but now feel like the happiest guy in the world!
Through all of this, my life has got to a point where it’s all about inspiring change in young people.
Ray on Getting Started with Making Change
Fear holds people back—not fear of monsters or spiders, but fear of change. It’s a scary place to go. To be “comfortably uncomfortable” is very normal. At one point I analyzed my day that way and realized that I was doing exactly the same things in the same way every day. If you challenge people to change their routine, they are skeptical at first. “How will this impact me? Will I be late for work in the morning if I don’t follow my series of steps once I get out of bed?”
People need to see cause and effect—we need to see or know that something is going to work. But that’s the beauty of the unknown, the uncertain but positive future. The best things in life are the ones we have to really reach for. People have to let go of the insurance policy of their everyday lives and take a risk. This was my thinking: I’ve got one shot in life; I can keep going the way I am, or take a risk. There is no easing into things—there is try or don’t try and that’s the bottom line.
Through his many speaking engagements and his organization, Impossible2Possible, Ray inspires youth to reach beyond their perceived limits. He and his wife are currently looking to develop camps for at-risk youth, including a new one in San Bernadino, California for kids in southeast L.A. Attendees will learn to realize their best selves and get an education on environmental concerns at the same time. I encourage everyone to check out Ray’s websites to learn more about his journey.
And if anyone out there can connect him with some great corporate sponsors to support his programs, drop him a line.
Speaking with Ray was truly inspiring. In a really weird and scary way, I’m still kind of walking around in circles asking myself what else there is for me. I’m doing what I love…but what’s still there? What is now possible that heretofore seemed impossible? For me, a desert-length of possibilities, to be sure.
How about you?
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.