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Thing Finding Thursday – What’s YOUR Thing?
I truly cannot express how joyful it’s been to invite some of my favourite people into my virtual living room on Thursdays to discuss their THING. What it is, how they found it and sharing their collective wisdom about how you can find yours. I’m richer for the experience and it is my sincerest hope that you are too.
Remember these interviews/posts and these gems?
Fabeku Fatunmise – Trust the bigness inside of you that is pulling you toward your thing. (TWEET IT)
Chris Guillebeau - The goal isn’t so much to vanquish fear, but to find a way to channel them into s.t. positive + motivating. (TWEET IT)
Jen Louden- It’s okay to find [your thing] + abandon it + find it + abandon it. (TWEET IT)
Tara Sophia Mohr - Compassion is the natural expression of wisdom. (TWEET IT)
Dyana Valentine - I want you to believe that you know the difference between right and right now. (TWEET IT)
Susannah Conway - do the work that makes your heart sing the loudest. (TWEET IT)
Pam Slim - Focus on where you can make an impact based on who it is that you are. (TWEET IT)
Jenny Blake – Sometimes in order to admit what we really want there are some scary questions (TWEET IT)
Amy Kessel - And making peace with not knowing the answers is a crucial aspect of these journeys. (TWEET IT)
Matthew Stillman - (When we’re young) our radiance goes out in 360 degrees. (TWEET IT)
Jasmine Lamb - Stop and listen. What is your life, right now, trying to tell you? (TWEET IT)
Megan Potter- My Thing is ME(TWEET IT)
Sabrina Ali– In facing doubts, ask yourself: Where is the love coming from + what’s it saying? (TWEET IT)
Brandy Glows - We could all use more gorgeous crazy in our lives. (TWEET IT)
Mary-Margaret McMahon – WHY NOT spread your gifts and enthusiasm? (TWEET IT)
Oh so much richness and light shared. And oh so much more to come.
And, for an added dose of inspiration, we’re going to hear the answer to the question from someone who HAS found their thing. And wants to share it with you.
This week, we're graced with the sparkliciousness of Andrea Schroeder of www.CreativeDreamIncubator.com. With a paintbrush in one hand & a glitter-gun in the other, Andrea lovingly mentors men & women who want to lead creatively abundant lives — and do ‘impossible’ things, with ease & joy.
So, Andrea, what’s YOUR thing?
My Thing is Creative Magic.
I help people find their creative spark and use it to bring their dreams to life, with spiritual practices & personal development techniques that feel less like silent meditation & group weeping, and more like magic potions & tea parties.
This means I support myself as a coach, course leader & creator of magical kits to help with everything from overcoming fear to mapping your goals to building the heart-centered business of your dreams. I spend a lot of time playing with crayons and glitter, wearing costumes and giggling. My job is the funnest thing ever.
I’m actively & passionately working on my mission of overflowing this whole world with sparkly wishes (fulfilled!) and dreams (come true!) — and I’m enjoying every second of my chosen adventure.
Express the greatest parts of who YOU are, at www.CreativeDreamIncubator.com.. You can also find Andrea sprinkling glittery joy over on Twitter.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Self Love begins with Values
(I’m delighted to have been asked to write about Values for a blog series put together by Molly Mahar of Stratejoy. She’s organized a blog crawl + Treasure Hunt where 26 writers I admire are blogging about self-love. Please be sure to go check their posts out.) I say “delighted” in the intro above because I truly was. And then, I became overwhelmed. Surprisingly quickly.
See, as juicy as values are, they are so foundational to self-love that it’s almost impossible for me to uncollapse the two. And values form the most basic level of the work I get to do as a coach. I could write a book about values. Two books. Maybe three. And self love? Yikes…don’t even get me started.
But I have just one blog post to write.
So, as I do when I feel overwhelmed, I went rooting through the closet of my values to see which one could help me out of this pickle.
There it was: simplicity.
(Knowing your values allows you to cut through the vines of your thought with machete-like discernment.)
And it really is JUST this simple: to know you IS to love you.
It’s rare that you can love that which you do not know.
So, let’s get to know you.
Spelunking for Values
Values, by the way, aren’t necessarily what you VALUE. Nor are they necessarily morals, ethics, or principles.
To be sure, when you are living from your values, there is a sense of “rightness” for YOU, but that’s not to say that values are intrinsically virtuous.
They are your own unique thumbprint of who you are. At your core. From the inside out.
Now, that innate “rightness” (also known as “resonance”) is a pretty powerful metric in learning what your values are. You can uncover some of your core values by thinking back to a time when you felt at your best. Like everything was right with the world and time could stand still. Conjure that moment and jot down what was going on, who was there, how you were feeling. That’s called “Peak Experience” and it’s a doozy for getting clarity.
Also notice what you’re always insisting upon, who you admire, and what makes you crazy (the flip of that emotion is likely a value).
At this point, you’ve got yourself a pretty robust sense of what makes you tick.
In the spirit of Molly’s ABCs, here are some values that my clients tend to own (this list is by no means exhaustive…nor is it a shopping list from which to load up your cart).
A – Adventure, authenticity, achievement
B – Beauty, bodaciousness
C – compassion, caring, community, connection, congregation, creativity, courage
D – Determination, duty, delight, diversity, discovery
E – Ease, excitement, energy, elation, efficiency, excellence, equality
F – Fun, freedom, flow, faith
G – Generosity, gratitude
H – Health, happiness, hope, humility, honesty
I – Innovation, intimacy, independence, integrity
J – Joy, justice
K – Kindness, knowledge
L – Love, luminosity, leadership, luxury
M – Mastery, meaning
N – Nature
O – Optimism
P – Power, peace, pleasure, performance
Q – Questioning, quality, quiet
R – Resourcefulness, respect, responsibility
S – Sharing, sensuality, success, simplicity
T – Trust, truth, transparency
U – Understanding, unity
V – Vision
W – Worthiness, wholeness, wisdom
X – Excitement (erm…)
Y – Yummy factor
Z – Zen, zest
See which ones show up in your work, and claim them as your own.
Rating your Values
Now that you have your list of say, 10 or 15 top values, rate each of your values on a scale of 1-10. How alive and well is that value in your life right now (one being the lowest and ten being the highest).
Given that you are human and have a pulse, Imma gonna guess that some values are rated pretty high and some have been taking a beating of late. And, if you feel any discontent in your life right now, it will become pretty clear why when you see which values have been ignored.
Let me be clear. This is not about you doing something wrong. Living fully from your values isn’t always comfortable. Just ask anyone with a core value of authenticity. Often, they must make choices to honour that value at the risk of saying some hard truths.
But selling out on your values is the quickest way to selling out on your self. A most inelegant act of self-loathing.
And we’re about self-love, right?
Onward.
Action
If you’ve identified that some of your top values have been a bit unloved as of late, make note of which ones need the attention and make a plan of action.
Also notice that you’re always moving towards, or away from a value.
Say you decide that you need ramp up the yummy factor in your life (a common value my clients are desiring more of) you can ask in a moment:
“Will this decision move me towards or away from the yummy factor?”
Or if you’ve identified that you’re missing ease, ask yourself:
“How can this (task, project, decision) be easier?”
Electric truth in the form of elegant simplicity.
Now, tap into that creative value of yours. What actions can you take to shine the love on your value of beauty, freedom, adventure, gratitude, pleasure?
Beauty? Adorn your night table with trinkets of gorgeousness. Freedom? Commit to clearing a day for white space, by lovingly saying no to dissonant obligations. Adventure? Lose the city map and go for a stroll in a new part of town. Gratitude? Journal your gifts. Pleasure? Well, I’ll leave that one up to you.
Love up those values but good. And in doing so, you’re loving yourself up.
Purely, resonantly and honestly.
Hallelujah.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Thing Finding Thursday with Fabeku Fatunmise
Fabeku Fatunmise . First of all: can you even stand how great his name is? Me neither. Moving on.
If Fabeku had a business card (which he doesn’t), it would read: Business awesomizer. Suck exorcist. Sonic alchemist. World’s Most Skeptical Shaman.
More mm-mm-good copy from his site: Translating music magics + shamanic secrets into nuggets of biz-building BOOM!
Seriously. How could I possibly be holding conversations about Finding your Thing and NOT invite the man who rocks HIS Thing as gleefully as he rocks his red doc martens?
Precisely.
Meet Fabeku.
How extraordinary is Fabeku's question: “Ask yourself what would your bigness do?” That version of yourself that holds itself bigger, smarter, more resourceful, more capable, more...YOU. Yes, that. What would THAT have you do?
I invite you to sit with that gift. What a wildly valuable filter for all that you face.
Tweetworthy Fabeku-isms (now, with 75% more ease!)
Know what doesn’t work? Using other people’s maps to find your home. (TWEET IT)
In finding your thing, look for what’s always been a part of your landscape. (TWEET IT)
Finding your thing may also be about finding the right language to talk about it.(TWEET IT)
Vanquishing your fear is part of process of doing your thing + putting it out there. (TWEET IT)
I trust the mojo of what I do implicitly. (TWEET IT)
Trust the bigness inside of you that is pulling you toward your thing. (TWEET IT)
In finding your thing: Ask yourself what your bigness would do? (TWEET IT)
Stop interpreting fear as a sign that you should stop what you’re doing.(TWEET IT)
In finding your thing, look for the edges that stretch you into your bigness. (TWEET IT)
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Wise + wonderful stuff.
Please go find Fabeku and follow what he's up to at his site and on Twitter. Treats and offers and deliciousness galore.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Thing Finding Thursday with Brandy Glows
Today's Thing Finding Thursday features a guest post by Brandy. She is a word-play arteest who writes and plays at brandyglows.com, a blog that chronicles her adventures in Shalom restoration.
Know what else? She's a brave and beautiful soul. Read on.
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Embracing The Thing That Makes Me Gasp
This morning I watched a clip from The Today Show with Tara Mohr. She shared five of her 10 Rules For Brilliant Women and one of them was to do something that makes you gasp. I remembering thinking my "gasp list" was short. I like limbs and I walk them well. I get high from the adrenaline of turning a big dream into a reality. It's one of the things I love about myself. But it's not my thing.
Kelly Diels encouraged us, a group she coached and coaxed into Artful, Heart-full blogging last summer, to share our stories with Tanya. I am excited to write this guest post because I love Tanya and this series she's created. It's been a great source of inspiration as I trek along the bloggard path. Also, I rock confessional narratives. I like being honest about what I've done and where I come from. I hold my stories tenderly and share them openly because they've made me the person I am today. And that's a big part of what I do, but it's not my thing either.
I've never actually said my thing out loud. I could say I didn't know it, but I think it would be more accurate to say that I didn't know I knew it.
I call myself a digital pastor. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I started a house church, so I guess I'm not strictly digital anymore. I follow Jesus, but believe God is bigger than Christianity. I believe in the restoration in all things. And I believe it's our job. I believe in humanity's capacity to partner with the Divine Source to restore Shalom, or wholeness and peace, in ourselves and our worlds.
I am irresponsibly hopeful.
I studied sociology in college but grew weary of just observing and discussing problems. I longed to create real social change. Let's end racism! Let's feed and cloth the poor and hungry. Let's free all the slaves! Let's reduce, reuse and recycle our asses off.
Let's change the world and leave it a better place than it was when we got here.
I am fierce advocate for social justice. I am a voice for the voiceless. I am a dreamer and a make-it-happener of dreams just crazy enough to work.
What's my thing?
I'm a prophet. (This is where I gasp.)
It scares me to admit it. Even though I'd wager God wants us all to be prophets and stand up against stupid crap. People often think of prophets as crazy people, alone and lonely, screaming their messages to a loud, chaotic world. But in his book, The Prophetic Imagination, Walter Brueggemann suggests instead that they are leaders of social movements.
It makes sense. If Isaiah (a prophet from the Hebrew Bible) was a nobody, then nobody would have listened to him when he preached naked. Or they would have called the cops.
Although I do breastfeed in public, but I probably won't preach naked. Still, like Isaiah, I want to foretell hope, peace, justice. Maybe that makes me crazy. I've got to be crazy to believe in the restoration of all things. But it's a gorgeous crazy. And we could all use a little more of that kind of crazy in our lives.
It's us. The bloggers. The stubborn ones who insist we can write and make and work from our living rooms. We are the leaders of the next giant social movement. And unlike our predecessors, we're not limited by space and time. The people in our tribes can follow us from anywhere in the world. I get to share the stories - mine and yours - of radical Shalom. I get to proclaim that we can change the world - and then watch people actually do it!
Being a prophet is a process. I don't own it every moment of every day. Sometimes I feel too weak to shout. Other times my words are too critical or too soft and they lose their prophetic edge.
I know the more I embrace My Thing, the more exciting and dangerous the adventure of life will become. It's already led me on journeys I could never have imagined: Homebirth, helping survivors of human trafficking in India, the World Domination Summit! It's all amazing fodder for the juicy message I've been given.
And it's only the beginning.
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Go find this remarkable woman on Google+, Twitter, or on Facebook.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Emotional Real Estate (and other unapologetically mixed housing metaphors)
Love knows, love grows, bigger than before. In your heart, there’s always more.
{That's not Hafiz. Those are words our 7-year old daughter sings with great gusto (from a Barbie movie, natch).}
Yes indeed. I believe in the heart’s infinite capacity for love.
I also believe in efficiency.
Capacity vs Room.
When clients present in session with uphill battles they’re facing, or difficult relationships they’re “managing” (ugh…do you HEAR the weight of that?), I’ll often ask them to consider the emotional real estate that’s being taken up with the current situation, as it is. You have only so much bandwidth to work within. How much space do you want this situation, this person, that conversation, that decision, this relationship to take up? Is it worth it?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. And ever a good enquiry.
That’s talking about room. Not CAPACITY.
So let’s assume your heart is a home. ‘Cause, it kinda is. It houses your emotions and is your sanctuary when you remember to rest there. You do your best to keep it well-tended. It’s neat and tidy and yours. You are a gracious host and so you invite people in. After the soiree has ended, some guests feel entitled to stay in this loving place for longer. You, of course agree. It would be unkind otherwise.
At first, it’s most convivial. You enjoy the devotional acts of leaving mints on the pillow and making your guests breakfast. Sure, they can pick the movie tonight and don’t worry about using all the hot water. Over time, you start to feel a subtle, but mounting resentment to the space they’re taking up. You can’t walk into your living room without tripping over their bags. Is that MORE dirty laundry for you to do? Don’t they EVER wipe the counters down after they shave? And about that toilet seat…
Then you stop yourself for being unkind. You take a step back and think: no, it’s not the last beer that they drank or the fact that they tear out articles from your magazines. No…the problem is you. It’s your house. If it were BIGGER, then you’d be a more gracious host.
Maybe it’s time to put an addition out on the back of the house. Then there would be TONS of space for visitors and their bags.
Sure, it will cost a ton (money, resources, effort), but then there will be room enough for all? Right?
Hmm.
You have only so much room in your heart. Fact. AND, heart’s capacity knows no bounds. But your love can.
So by all means, throw open the doors. And them all in. Just be mindful of who gets to STAY.
Allow to stay those who give as freely as they receive.
Those who value your radiance; not simply your PVR.
Those who come bearing nourishing greens + sumptuous broths to feed your soul; not three beers from a 6-pack.
Those who make you want to laugh with the world; not at it.
Those who cherish your quirks; not deride you for them.
Those who see you for the infinite light that you are; not just your generosity and comfy couch.
Those who are worthy. Of the space that you are sharing.
Before you know it, your house will have filled well beyond the imagined constraints of any architects’ drawing. There, in every room will be more love, joy, and fulfillment than you thought possible. An effortless expansion with not a bead of sweat.
Exactly what your heart’s been yearning for, all along.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
Thing Finding Thursday with Matthew Stillman of Stillman Says
“Where creativity and wisdom make out on top of your problem.”
Okay. That is some good, good copy. It’s not mine, it’s Matthew Stillman’s. You’ve heard of him…he’s the guy that hangs out in NYC’s Union Square and offers creative approaches to what people have been thinking about. You know…their PROBLEMS (so what if the word “problem” is taboo in the magical world of self-discovery).
“Stirring what is stagnant within you”
“The art of the reframe with the science of the wise”
Seriously. I can’t stop. It’s all just too good.
You should also know this from his site:
Matt conceived of, wrote the treatment for and co-produced a feature length documentary film about the origins of poverty and why it persists in a world with so much wealth. His film, called “The End of Poverty?” premiered at the Cannes Film Festival and was featured in over 40 festivals around the world. Matt has spoken at the United Nations about the film and poverty four times as well as many other educational and socio-political forums.
Currently Matt is developing a study to radically transform the property tax system in New York City.
Not just another guy “de-problemizing through high weirdness” in Union Square and a really green wall in his apartment. Nope, he's an original, to be sure. And a truly generous person.
So there was NO WAY I could continue talking to people about their things without talking to Matthew about his. And, of course, yours.
Interview with Matthew Stillman for Thing Finding Thursday
Look for the gaps, note the aversions, stay in some uncomfortable places, and play with the purpose of play.
Oh yes.
Tweetworthy StillmanSays-isms (for your sharing pleasure
You need to be willing to stay in some sort of uncomfortable spots and see what opens up there. @StillmanSays http://ow.ly/8PjhN #TFThurs
(When we’re young) our radiance goes out in 360 degrees. @StillmanSays to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8PjhN #TFThurs
(As we age, we feel loss b/c) we've lost access to three quarters of our being. @StillmanSays to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8PjhN #TFThurs
The game being infinite is more important than winning a particular game. @StillmanSays to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8PjhN #TFThurs
Be kind to yourself. You've done so much work already. @StillmanSays to @TanyaGeisler http://ow.ly/8PjhN #TFThurs
Transcript of edited interview (for your reading pleasure)
Matthew: Well, one of my things–the thing that people who are online probably know about me most–is my website, stillmansays.com. And that is an experiment that I've started which I've turned into a business, which is a report of my time spent sitting out in Union Square in New York City, where I live.
At Union Square, I sit with two folding chairs and a table, with a sign that says "Creative approaches to what you've been thinking about" and a smaller sign that says, "Pay what you like or take what you need." I sit out there for 10 hours a day or so, a couple of days a week, when the weather is appropriate, and just talk with strangers about anything at all that they need a creative approach to.
And it's been everything from as simple as "I need a name for my novel," or "I have a relationship problem," or "something going on with my business," to "I need help finding my spirit animal," or "I have a dispute with a neighbour," or "I need to find a new religion," or "I need help avoiding getting murdered." It could be anything at all, and I hopefully help people look at the situation they're in in a very creative way.
Matthew: And then, seeing it differently, it may be figured out. It might not be figured out. Or it might just be seen in its proper or different perspective, which allows you to have a different relationship with it. You know, so often we think that the only way to get into a house is through the front door; but sometimes it's the back door. Sometimes it's through a window. Sometimes you need to dig a hole underneath the house and crawl up through the floorboards.
Tanya: "De-problemizing through high weirdness," this is from your site, this is what you do–I was totally gob-smacked by the genius of that.
How do you go from the time, the opportunity, people say you're really good at de-problemizing through high weirdness, and then you just sort of say, "Yeah, you know what? Union Square: What it's really missing is a desk, and two chairs, and these two signs. And me!
Matthew: Well, I guess that's part of my charm, that I was willing to say, "This is the thing that's missing." I didn't know that it was going to turn into a blog or a years-long experiment. I thought I was going to just do it! But on the first day I went out there, it just worked. And it was very clear I could keep doing this.
Tanya: Right, right, okay. Your last post, or the most recent one that I read, is–I've forgotten the title now.
Matthew: The baby feet one and St. Anthony?
Tanya: The baby feet! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Matthew: It's a good one.
Tanya: I'm really in love with this idea of lost or forgotten voices, and in the realm of thing-finding, I really think that there's something magical and beautiful about listening for those lost or forgotten voices.
Matthew: When we are children, and when we're born, we are treasured by and large for all our qualities. People love us for our selfishness, they love us for our screaming. So all our voices, for a time, are available to us. And for lack of a better analogy, they go out in 360 degrees. Our radiance goes out in 360 degrees.
And after a certain amount of time, we're told by our parents, and our caretakers, and society, "You know, we love you, but it really would be helpful if you were a little less selfish, you shared more, you were quieter, you were–" and it's not done out of malice, it's done out of sort of getting you into a system which can really be useful. But we start to close down and put into a bag the other voices that we have, because they're not appreciated or heard. They're too different.
And so, I'm making up a number, but let's say you're 10, 12, 14, 16, 20–you have practice putting three quarters of yourself into a bag behind you, and we don't listen to those voices any more, because it makes our life too complex to listen to these other voices. And similarly, because we have to make so many choices every day, we streamline ourselves to say, "You know what? It's easiest if I just listen to these particular voices. I've got to get to particular outcomes faster." And because the world that we live in requires speed and efficiency, we move along with that, and say, "You know what? I'm just going to listen to the voices that are easiest, and get me to the place that I want to be and feel comfortable and safe in."
And then, we have cut ourselves off from three quarters of our being, because there is 90 degrees which is presentable and useful, and the rest of it is not appreciated. So that leaves us feeling, later in our lives, "Why do I feel vacant? Why do I feel closed off? Why do I feel like the same things are happening?" Because we've lost access to three quarters of our being.
Tanya: I've got a seven year old daughter, and she was super proud of an award she came home with, she was awarded in front of the whole school; it was an empathy award. And about a week later, I was talking with her teacher and he said, "It was great to see her so proud of that award. You know, she's a bit too sensitive, though."
Matthew: Ugh!
Matthew: Yeah. I mean, for me, the fact that he said that to a girl in particular. You know, more broadly speaking, so many women are essentially forced to harden themselves and to cast aside some of the core elements of their femininity early. And I've seen too many girls sacrificed on the altar of progress and forward movement and they lose all their softness, or enough of it that they just become something different.
Matthew: You just want to be able to open the door, to say, "Here's A voice." And see if—if you've been carrying around a bag with three quarters of your identity for thirty-plus years, it might be terrifying to look it there, because if you were dragged in a bag for thirty years, you'd be furious! So it is, often, scary to look at those voices. I might say, it's worth looking at the things that you have a very strong aversion to, and just see what your philosophies are about that, and see if that's a part that you have a need to tap into.
Tanya: Love love love that you've said that. I'm big on aversions in the work that I do, too, so thank you for highlighting that
Tanya: Do people ever show up and say, "Dude, what's my thing? Like, what's my thing?"
Matthew: Yeah. I think the most direct question I ever got for that, that I can recall at this moment, is someone who came to me and said, "I've just quit my religion and I need to find a new religion." So that's sort of, "What's my thing?"
But I think the thing of "finding your thing" is to not be afraid to lift every stone and to stay there. Because finding your thing is good, and important, but you're not just one thing. You are—it's more important for you to be whole than to find your thing. Because your thing might be really big.
As an infant, you take absolute delight in playing with your toes, and absolute delight with throwing food, and absolute delight with falling asleep, and hugging your parent's leg and hugging a fire hydrant are the same thing. So I wouldn't close the door to finding your thing, you just need to be willing to stay in some sort of uncomfortable spots and see what opens up there.
Tanya: There's a way in which we have this be very serious, where does curiosity and play factor in?
Matthew: In terms of play, there are two types of games that one can play. There's a finite game, and there's an infinite game.
Finite games are played to be won. They're played within fixed boundaries, and they're played for a title, they're bounded by time and location.
But if you've ever seen people who just love to play basketball, or if you see kids play basketball—they'll run off the court, the score ends up being 117 to 4, no one cares. They're playing for the sake of playing. It's more important to keep the game moving than anyone winning.
So in terms of play, I think it's very important to not be playing for title, or for winning, or for status, but to be playing for the sake of play. And there is where there is freedom. And in order to do that, you need curiosity. And it's important to people to know what the rules are, too. That's perfectly reasonable! But, ultimately, the game being infinite is more important than winning a particular game.
Tanya: And, through that, that's where we find our toes.
Tanya: For the people who are trying to find their things: What do you want for them?
Matthew: To forgive themselves for not having found it. To criticize themselves less for struggling. And to be kind, because they've done so much work already. I think those are probably the most important things to start with.
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Compassion, wisdom, quirkiness, and a truly delightful human being.
Go find him and his incredible stories at StillmanSays.com and on Twitter.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.