In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Julie Daley, an educator, writer, consultant, and leadership coach who's led hundreds of people from all walks of life to develop their creativity and authentic leadership skills. Julie guides individuals from around the world in discovering and uncovering their authentic nature as creative human beings. She offers one-on-one coaching, courses and consulting in creativity and innovation, compassion and collaboration, as well as authentic feminine leadership.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

• As young children we are often embodied, full of life, and free until something or someone causes us to question ourselves.

• As children, we easily know the truth about ourselves and what we want. As adults, it seems to be harder to identify what we want.

• As adults, we tend to cover up who we really are and cut off our own power to better fit into society.

• The body remembers everything, what it felt like to be young and alive.

• We have to wake up and live embodied, but sometimes we are afraid of our true expression because it is powerful.

• As the cells heal in the body, our ancestry lines also heal.

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JULIE SAID//

• The heart, when it’s awake and alive, is vaster than the body. For the heart to be ignited, you’re talking about your entire being ignited.

• Nobody is paying any attention to me, they’re just dancing themselves. Why am I worried about it? So I started to let the joy come.

• The body is in relationship to everything: to others, to self, to the earth, to nature, to animals… and right now, with you. Just looking in your eyes, seeing your smile, it’s like there it is again. It’s like everything is showing us and reminding us of what we are.

• When I got shut down as a little girl, I stopped connecting in the way that I did because it was too painful. I made a choice that I would… believe the stories others were telling me rather than believe the story I knew was true.

• Feeling your emotions, feeling what’s been stuck, feeling anger all the way to a ten out of ten…. Letting yourself have that human experience is another way you wake up.

• I will pretend to be something else so that I am more palatable to society and culture.

• Anything you do to cover [your true expression] up… is truly an “impostor-ized” way of being. It’s just not real. It’s not true. And then we become so afraid of the truth of ourselves that we believe the voice of the imposter. It’s dysfunctional and we believe it because we become so afraid of what we’ve forgotten we are, because it’s powerful.

• The truth is not duality, it just is. It doesn’t even have a problem with the impostor. ...Like when you’re little, you’re just the truth.

• Each cell of the body has the light of the divine in it.

• We are healing a lot of that ancestral suffering and unconsciousness the more we wake up.

TANYA SAID//

• That’s the same tension: it shows up when you’re walking around the dance floor.

• I saw a picture of my house on Google and I recognized that the picture was taken three years ago. I said to myself, “That was a blink ago.” And then I realized, in another blink, she’ll be 16. And in two blinks, she’ll be 19. And I just sat there and just said out loud, “I’m sad.”

• You’re always that person who’s like, “Can you feel it a little bit more?” And I go, “No, no, no! I’m too busy! I have too much stuff!” And you’re like, “Can you just feel it more?” And then we do. And we cry and we laugh and it’s a beautiful thing.

• We are so terrified of this true self that we are.

• The truth feels like a lightness, what exists without the veils and the shrouds and the guardedness.

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:

• As She Is, a film about the feminine “The feminine has been hidden. She isn’t gone, she just has been hidden.”

• Costa Rica Retreat

FIND JULIE

• unabashedlyfemale.com

• Eros Podcast coming soon!

• 1-on-1 Coaching

• Self Study Programs (Belonging + Becoming a Force of Nature)

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Dr Michelle Mazur (like lazer). Michelle Mazur, Ph.D. delivers audacious breakthroughs for speakers who want to stand out, be the best-in-class in their field, and position themselves in a category of one. She is the CEO of Communication Rebel and the author of Speak Up for Your Business. The speakers she works with have gone on to book speaking gigs across the United States, raise 3x the amount of money expected for the launch of a charity, and speak in front of world leaders and First Ladies. She lives in Seattle, WA with her adoring husband, 2 obsessive felines, and a huge collection of Duran Duran memorabilia.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

• The intersection between speaking and the Imposter Complex

• How Michelle feels the Imposter Complex when speaking even with (especially with) a PhD

• The balance between structure and flow

• Facing the lie of “I have nothing to say.”

• The gap between dipping your toes in and diving in

• Going on an information detox

• The barriers people put in place to keep from taking the plunge

• What people are afraid of when it comes to speaking

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MICHELLE SAID//

• Speaking is like riding a bike. You’re going to fall off, but it’s about learning something and getting back on.

• There can be diminishing returns when it becomes about how great you are more than the audience experience.

• There’s a lot of noise out there and if you’re really listening, you will stop yourself from saying what you need to say.

• If someone is already talking about it, it’s great because it means it needs to be talked about. It just needs your unique spin.

• The way to lead in your work: realize you do have something to say.

• It’s time for you to hear your own voice so you can bring out what’s unique about you.

• It’s an identity change when you fully decide to step into the role of Speaker.

• It starts with one step not being on stage in front of 1,000 people.

• You don’t have to have it all figured out to make it happen. You just have to put a little skin in the game.

• On pitching: Figure out what they need, wrap your solution around it

TANYA SAID//

• When we focus so much on the audience experience we lose the honey of what we are there to talk about and deliver.

• We want to stand on the shoulders of our leaders and give them attribution, but we should look at their work as a springboard.

• The velocity has come from work that has been done by people before us.

• Under the false equivalencies is really fear.

• Trust the intelligence in the room

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:

• 12 Lies of the Impostor Complex

• The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women by Valerie Young

• Tanya's TEDx talk: Owning Our Authority

FIND MICHELLE

• drmichellemazur.com

• twitter

• facebook

• Work with Michelle

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

When they say they don’t experience the Imposter Complex, I hafta ask: Why not?

I’ve got some bad news for you.
But stay with me.
Because I also have some good news.

But first, the bad news.

Just like grief that comes along and trips you up when you least expect it, the Imposter Complex too is like a wrinkle in the (red) carpet.

No matter how much work you’ve done.
No matter how evolved you are.

When you set out to do something big and new and exciting and important, you WILL wonder: “damn...why am I coming up against this NOW? I thought I had this stuff figured out and in the bag.”

Because we never really figure it out.
Not fully, in any case.
Because it mutates.
It adapts, shape-shifts, and it grows new heads.

Every time you step UP. We overcome it to be certain, but we don’t ever fully close the gap.

So, for instance, YES, you overcame your Imposter Complex when you took that stage.
But that doesn’t mean it won’t show up when you are asked to headline the conference.

Sure, you worked the three key strategies I speak of to overcome the Imposter Complex (you met the critics, bolstered your authority thesis, and assembled the cast) and found your way to accepting the new role of leading the team. 
But rest assured, when you’re asked to lead SEVERAL teams, it’s going to re-present.

And of course, you got past the Imposter Complex when you managed to self-publish that book.
But when the agent comes a-calling, so too will the Imposter Complex.

Deep breath. I’m just here to remind you that you’re feeling wobbly because you’ve never been HERE before.

“Successful people don’t experience this" is actually lie #2 of the Imposter Complex.

It’s a lie we buy into because we hope it’s a truth that will eventually apply to us. When we have reached a certain pinnacle, this shit will be behind us.

Nuh-uh.

Same shit, higher hill.

With higher stakes.
Which is good and tricky, all à la fois.

But that promised good news: awareness brings about a faster recovery.

Just remember every time you felt this...what were you on the precipice of? Pressing publish? Leaving the job? Closing shop? Charging THAT price? Saying the hard truth?

Felt scary. Felt hard.
It mattered.
 
Okay?
OKAY.

I repeat: it MATTERED. So when someone tells me that they don’t ever experience the Imposter Complex anymore, I ask them this.

Why not?

Not why not as in ‘let me drink from your fount of enlightenment’. But rather, why not, as in ‘let’s consider why have you stopped taking risks?’ ‘Why have you stopped doing the work that matters?’ ‘Why have you stopped looking down the barrel of your potential?’

There’s only room on the red carpet for those doing the work. Yes, we’ll be tripping along the way. But land sakes, will we look fine. 

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.

In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.

This week's guest is Staci J. Shelton. Staci is a performance consultant and fiber artist. She is passionate about people, process, and creativity…and knitting. Dissonance and liminal spaces are her playgrounds of possibility. Her work is helping leaders resolve inner dissonance productively so that they can work harmoniously and achieve better outcomes.

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:

• What is Unraveling?

• The intersection between the Impostor Complex and Unraveling

• Unraveling and internalized oppression

• Portable Peace

• Staci’s metaphor of knitting and life

• What to let go, what to keep, how far to go back?

• Staci’s Unraveling method

• The distinction between self-doubt and the Impostor Complex

• How to know when you are ready for unraveling

• Positive declarations of worthiness

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STACI SAID//

• People aren’t broken, systems are.

• I can’t always change the system, but I can absolutely help some people unravel that stuff, change the narrative, take some risks and get free.

• Is it really true, or is it just something that you’ve taken on and adopted as your truth?

• The fear: If I let it go, am I going to be sorry that I unraveled this?

• What version of the “not good enough” myth are you living?

• Before the truth can set you free you have to realize what lies are holding you hostage.

• Unraveling starts with noticing.

• I start to notice where my fight or flight kicks in and that’s always a good place to start [unraveling].

• I don’t believe anyone comes here unworthy, I think we take on unworthiness.

• I call my inner critic my inner terrorist, and I don’t negotiate with terrorists!

TANYA SAID//

• It’s always a good day to unravel

• Unraveling isn’t a method or a pattern, it’s an organic process.

• With unraveling we go gently.

LINKS + THINGS MENTIONED:

• Work with Staci Jordan Shelton

• Unraveled Group Program

FIND STACI

• stacishelton.com

• Twitter

• Instagram

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Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)

Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!

When I was an infant, I had a fever of 106. AFTER aspirin. AFTER an ice bath. 106 degrees.

I, of course, remember none of it.

What I do remember is being told by my beloved mother over and over and over again to “moderate my voice." Especially in public. (Only in public? Yes, I think that’s so.)
 
You see, when the fever left me, it fought its way through my vocal chords and wreaked havoc there for years to come. My voice became forced, scratchy, and whiney all at once. And, when excited, it would become especially forced, scratchy, and whiney.

“Moderate your voice” became something of an anthem.

A Pavlovian response to a child’s excitability.

Moderate your voice – so as not to disturb anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to alarm anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to offend anyone.
Moderate your voice – so as not to drive anyone away.
 
Because people leave when there's a scene, you know.
 
At first, it was nearly impossible. I thought moderating my voice meant whispering. But what I saw around me deserved more than a whisper. And then I thought it meant not speaking, but drawing instead. But what I saw around me happened faster than my colored pencils could draw.

Over time, I learned to do the impossible. To moderate my voice. To tuck my chin into my neck and to consciously calm and quiet my vocal chords.

And I suspect my mother was relieved. Now no one outside the family would be disturbed, alarmed, offended, or driven away.

Let me be clear... she adored me. With all she had. With the force of a thousand suns, she loved me. I couldn’t sing loud enough or laugh hard enough or talk enough for her. But outside the walls of our home - that’s where the dangers lurked. Because that had been her conditioning. That had been her experience.

Having me moderate my voice was one more way to keep me safe. Un-mocked, unnoticed, and out of the crosshairs.
 
But if I was to set the world on fire as she prophesied, I recognized somewhere along the line that I would be required to amplify my voice. To risk disturbing, alarming, offending, and driving people away. To risk being left.
 
And so I did. I unlearned and then I newly learned. What I discovered was, as you can guess, quite the opposite.

Well, let me rephrase that.

Some people left, yes. But more people (my RIGHT people) CAME.

I’m not gonna lie. Amplifying your voice is no small bit of work.

But before you can do that, you will need to stop moderating your voice. You will need to stop diminishing. You will need to stop equivocating. And you will need to stop apologizing. It’s no small bit of work. But your people are waiting. 

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 Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact

Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.