Articles
On ham sandwiches and grief.
I want to talk about ham sandwiches. And a dear old family friend, we’ll call Auntie P, who called them sangwiches in her adorable Scottish lilt.
She was a child of the Depression. It’s true, she really was, but my grandmother mentioned this, like, A LOT. Perhaps as some way to normalize her best friend’s extreme thriftiness.
Auntie P herself said she was “frugal”. I loved the way she said it - frugal. It was a foreign word to me when I first heard it, and I assumed it was another word for fancy. She also always spoke in “pennies”. “People in those big houses just have a few more pennies to rub together than we do, sweetie.” Somehow when she said that, it made me imagine that she had piles of pennies upon which to sit.
But back to sangwiches.
When I was about seven, Auntie P and her soon-to-be late husband H went on a trip around the world. On a ship. How marvelous. I couldn’t wait to hear tales of Asia and deepest, darkest Peru (from whence my beloved Paddington Bear came.)
But it was Sweden that she wanted to talk about.
“When we got off the boat, they were handing out free ham sangwiches. FREE! And you could line up twice or even thrice without anyone so much as batting an eye.”
I wondered what it was like to be a child of the Depression. It was hard to imagine sweet old Auntie P at any age other than her tightly permed blue rinsed hair, sensible sturdy flat black shoes and nude coloured knee high stockings would allow. And I could imagine plenty.
But at a minimum, I knew the Depression meant that bread was rare and butter was scarce and ham was impossible to find. I pictured her in her cot (it was a cot, when I thought of it) coping with the pain in her empty belly by dreaming of ham sandwiches.
Dreaming of a time when she might have piles of pennies upon which to sit. Traveling around the world by ship. Being met on the shore with free sangwiches. Dream-by-dream. That’s how I would have coped, in any case.
Did she go within? I’ve never been too sure. We certainly never spoke of it. But I know for a fact that she went without. A lot.
So every occasion included ham sangwiches. Easter, Christmas luncheons, afternoon visits, bridge parties, funerals, christenings, and birthdays and any justbecause reason you could think of. Sandwich-by-sandwich, we celebrated and mourned.
I suspect this was the tie that bonded Auntie P and my mother, their love of ham sandwiches. For my mother though, it wasn’t about the sandwich itself. It was about being made a ham sandwich. That was a devotional labour of love.
Now, I don’t wish to speak ill of the dead. I really really don’t. But I didn’t enjoy Auntie P’s ham sandwiches. You see, I was not a child of the Depression, so good quality Black Forest ham was plentiful in my refrigerator. But for Auntie P, ham was ham, and pennies were pennies that needed to be rubbed together, for whatever reason one would rub pennies together. Seemed to me the fewer pennies the ham cost, the lighter the pinkish hue, ‘til Auntie P’s ham was but one shade above white. More opalescent than anything else, slightly slick with gelatin.
But her delight in displaying the sangwiches was legendary. With flourish rivaled only by her best friend Milly, she would summon us to the oilcloth covered table with a “come and get it, dearies”. And my mother delighted that a ham sandwich, any ham sandwich, was served with love.
We would often go to the Copper Kettle for lunch, a sandwich counter marked by a huge marquee of copper sequins that flapped in the wind. I loved going there. Not because the sandwiches were good – they weren’t much better than P’s, bless her, but mostly because of the sign and the ride. My grandmother would drive her fire orange Plymouth (that today would be called a muscle car) like a bat out of hell. Auntie P and I would sit always sit in the back bench seat, no seat belts of course, this was late 70’s after all, and as my grandmother took the corners like every corner was the last one she’d ever get to experience, Auntie P would squeal: “here we go ‘round the get together corner” like it was a midway ride.
If she didn’t say it, I’d worry she wasn’t well. Hearing her say that was as satisfying as the little green light when the power adaptor has made its connection with the MacBook.
But. That’s it, isn’t it?
Connection.
She didn’t teach me to knit, but we did spend pleasant evenings munching ham sandwiches and cross-stitching little kitten patterns purchased from the dollar store. The teeny stitches both confounded and delighted me. Auntie P’s patience was infinite even as her eyes failed and the lights were dim in her sitting room. My eyes were strong, my patience, less so. Three stitches done and I was anxious to see the green eye completed, not just a fraction of the pupil.
It was through Martha Stewart that I learned to knit and purl. The sum of my output to date includes three scarves and one lap blanket and a couple of things I've forgotten about. But the crowning jewel of my knitting prowess was a mohair afghan I knit for my mother when she was very very very sick. It was of the most exquisite fuchsia colour imaginable.
A little more purple than pink, but just enough pink to brighten her cheeks as she snuggled it in her chair, nibbling appreciatively, but with no appetite, on the ham sandwiches I would bring her. Lovingly prepared, crusts cut off, to mimic “fancy sandwiches” of the high teas she wished we went to with much greater frequency. Like, more than twice in her lifetime.
I speak of the afghan in the past tense because we had it cremated with her. It was clear to me she’d want to take it with her wherever she went. You know, when I saw her ashes, I half expected to see fuchsia mohair fluff among the pallid sombre gray. Gray that was a little more white than black, but not enough to be lively. No, anything but lively. Of course not. How could ashes of a dead mother be lively? If anything, it was a detached colour. Can a colour be detached?
The mind’s funny that way. I mean, I know how cremation works – it’s not complicated – everything in the path of the fire gets incinerated. But still…I had hoped to see that fluff.
We served ham sandwiches at her wake, of course. Ham sandwiches, and egg salad sandwiches, and cucumber mint sandwiches, and lemon bars, and nanaimo bars, and scones with clotted cream, and a whole other varietal of delights you’d find at high tea. It was a tough time. I had an 8 month old with a ferocious diaper rash, a father who was...mourning and a sister who…missed her mother. I organized every detail. Including the eulogy. The thank you roses to the nurses’ station. The obituary. In truth, I’m sure I forgot more details than I remembered, but I know for a fact that remembered to cut off the crusts. Remembering those details was how I coped. Task-by-task.
I don’t recall Auntie P’s funeral. I think I probably wasn’t allowed to attend. Too distressing for little girls, you see.
But there can be no doubt that her final get-together corner included ham sangwiches.
Or at least, I pray that this is so.
Click below to discover your ICONIC Identity:
Unshakeable Confidence
Unshakeable confidence is the kind of confidence that you can count on and that won’t quit you.
But.
It’s not about never having your confidence waver. (I mean, I wish, but…)
What we know about in these fiercely trying times, is that we need to hang onto something...and often that something is in our own capacity.
Now, to be clear, you may think I’m suggesting you don’t have confidence. Nope.
But I’m talking about the kind that you can count when it’s time to do the important stuff. Like...have the hard conversations. Make the big asks. Say NO. Level up.
I’ve made quite the study of this, as I am endlessly fascinated by what it takes for people to do remarkable things in times of adversity. How people step up, rise up, stand up when it seems like life is trying to keep them down.
I witness it in my beloved clients, leaders I admire and folx weathering the storms of uncertainty and those who have said: Nuh-uh. Nope. Not today.
There seems to be this through-line running through all of their experiences.
Unshakeable Confidence
So I’ve been paying pretty close attention and I do believe I’ve figured it out.
Actually...I KNOW I’ve figured it out.
Unshakeable confidence isn’t something you HAVE. It’s something you cultivate, practice, devote yourself to.
And when you practice it? You become FAR more resilient to the Imposter Complex when it shows up (and it will.)
You can see the Imposter Complex’s lies for what they are, and have a faster recovery when it tries to take you out.
You expand your capacity to bring in more, much more, of what you desire.
Whether it’s swinging out on your dreams, hiring the team, raising prices, speaking your message to bigger audiences, or setting bigger goals.
Unshakeable Confidence is the practice of a lifetime.
You know what it’s comprised of?
Lean in.
There are three cornerstones of Unshakeable Confidence.
Three legs of a stool, each with their own value and merit. Each of equal importance.
Integrity means you trust in what you uphold.
Presence means you know who you are and what you’re here for.
Action means you get it done.
Like I said: three legs of a stool. Each of equal merit and value. Each of equal importance.
And when all three are engaged, the stool is stable. It is unshakeable.
When you have Integrity and Presence engaged, you can TRUST in it.
When you have Integrity and Action engaged, you can ACTIVATE from it
When you have Action and Presence engaged, you can COUNT on it
Does that mean you will never wobble again? That you’ll never second-guess your decision?
No. Our fears and insecurities our life’s challenges get more sophisticated alongside of our own evolution.
But when we know what we’re up against, we can make better, more aligned choices when your foundation isn't cobbled together between your mood, worries about how much other people think of you and caffeine.
We can ask ourselves how we are honouring presence, integrity, and action and make different choices.
Integrity
You know the oft-cited saying “if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for everything?” Absolute truth. If integrity needed a bumper sticker, it would be that.
And what I know about integrity is this:
it’s comprised of relentless obedience to your vision
it’s about honouring your word
it’s about operating from authenticity
For me, Business Strategist, Author, Podcaster, and Community-Builder Tara McMullin is the epitome of integrity. In business and in life. As long as I’ve known her, she has been driven by a desire to build another way of dispersing power… a New Economy. One where outsiders become insiders become leaders and collective wisdom reigns supreme.
It’s what she believes above all else. Over the years, this vision has been refined and expressed in new and innovative ways, from an actual co-working space in Oregon, to its current iteration: What Works Network , the online business brain trust and virtual office space for over 1000 members and counting.
Her word is her code and her code is all about lifting up others. And she shows up with pure unadulterated authenticity. Who she seems to be is who she is.
She is integrity. And her vision is blossoming as a result.
To be clear, she is also steeped in presence and action. Integrity and action actually are her set points, but she’s done work with PRESENCE.
Consider:
What do YOU stand for?
What visions are you obedient to?
Do you honour your word?
Do you show up authentically?
Integrity, my friends. Nothing, and I mean nothing beats it.
Presence
There’s a reason Amy Cuddy wrote an entire book devoted to it...she posits that they opposite of Fear is not Fearlessness, but rather PRESENCE.
And to me, Presence comes down to three things:
it’s about grounding into your POWER
it’s about knowing who you ARE and what makes you YOU
it’s about having reverence for that sacred being that you are
It’s about placing value on what you are, WHO you are...the very things that are not fleeting. And the very things that are not outside of you, like your numbers, fans, followers and dollars in the bank.
Presence is in knowing who you are, where you come from and where you’re going.
Take Lena West, Business Growth Mentor to unapologetic women entrepreneurs. (Even by her HANDLE you know that she knows who she is.)
I had the honour of spending nine months with Lena in my program and let me tell you: day in, day out, Lena was rooted in her seat of POWER, knew who she was, and was a model for us all for being reverent for the gifts she’d been given. And that knowing who she is (and isn’t) gave her the space to be wildly generous and expansive within the context of her massive capacity.
In fact, within the program, we started to adopt her catchphrase, “I’m here for that.”
It was short form for I’m not here for everything, but I know what I know, and I know who I am and I know what I’m here for.
Feel THAT presence? #ImhereforTHAT
Unmistakable and unshakeable. Impeccable, too.
Consider:
What are YOU here for?
Are you rooted in your power?
How well do you know your values?
How do you practice reverence for the glorious being you are?
Action
People think confidence creates action.
Nerp.
Action creates confidence. PARTICULARLY action rooted in integrity built upon presence.
Hesitation creates the mountains...action moves it.
But action isn’t all heft and rigour and sweat all the time.
It’s vulnerable, and tender.
And:
it’s about a willingness to fail
it’s about being resilient
it’s about being tenacious
And when I think of ACTION? I think of former client Maggie Patterson of Scoop Studios. This Mega Maven is unstoppable (tattoos are coming, I’m told).
When the online industry zigged, she rooted into what she does best and kept on going – better, stronger, and more powerfully than ever, releasing some clients and bringing on even more that were truly aligned.
When Maggie realized that she had been hiding behind her work, I saw her pushing herself out onto social media, prompting people to invite her onto their podcasts.
When Maggie was faced with an unexpected shift in her business with her business partner stepping out of the business she quickly turned it into an opportunity to be MORE of what she already is and to amplify her starring role.
Action looks like asking for what you need.
Action looks like saying NO.
Action looks like receiving.
Action looks like DOING.
Action looks like getting it DONE like these two Unshakeable, Unstoppable Small Business Bosses.
Consider:
What do you make happen?
What are you willing to risk?
How well are you cultivating resilience in yourself?
What does tenacity look like for you?
And here’s where things get massively fascinating for me.
You know how I’m always talking about the Imposter Complex and the coping mechanism that we go to to avoid feeling like an Imposter?
Perfectionism, procrastination, diminishment, comparison, people-pleasing, and leaky boundaries?
Welp, turns out they are
Confidence killers, AND
Important keys to the unshakeable confidence puzzle
Got that?
We KNOW when we’re not honouring integrity, because we are stuck in: leaky boundaries or people-pleasing.
We KNOW we aren’t honouring presence, because we get stuck in: diminishment or comparison.
We KNOW we aren’t taking action because we are stuck in: procrastination or perfectionism.
Super handy to see that, right?
Okay.
Now you know.
Which stool leg has your confidence feeling wobbly? What needs attention?
Because when you DO stabilize the stool:
You will have a faster recovery when the Imposter Complex shows up.
You will ask for the raise.
Say yes to the speaking gig.
Go for the book deal.
Build the platform.
Plan for massive growth in your business.
Speak up for what you know to be right.
Surround yourself with the best.
Ask for what you need.
Pursue excellence, but remaining untethered to perfectionism.
You become an EXPERT in catching yourself when you start to waver those coping mechanisms crop up.
You expand your capacity to bring in more, much more, of what you desire.
And more is no longer a word that scares you….MUCH.
Show up for you, for your work, for THEM, for your soul.
That’s what I want for you.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
When Your Client Climbs Mt. Kilimanjaro
...you’ll want to know one thing.
HOW?
How did he DO it?
So of course I asked.
And he shared generously and fully.
Lo and behold, he shared the six steps to doing ANYTHING remarkable (which loosely translated is the “Step into Your Starring Role” process…but this is his story, not mine,)
Set the goal. Make sure it’s aligned and that it’s YOURS...and no one else’s.
Prepare for the obstacles. And for him, there were three distinct levels of preparedness required:
Physical conditioning.
Getting the right gear.
Acclimatization. (Four days prior to the final ascent, they did a pre-trek walk to get used to it all. The altitude, the lack of cellular service, the cold...all of it.)
3. Get the help...lean fully into the guides who are devoted to your success.
4. Remind yourself all the times you did something terrifying and came out the other side (or on top, as it were.)
5. Grind it out. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot. No shortcuts.
6. CELEBRATE. Reallllllly root into the magnitude of the accomplishment.
So this is all formidable and incredible to hear and I wanted no details spared. The highest I’ve ever climbed was the CN Tower...and it’s possible that I’ve reimagined history, and in fact, that I’ve only ever walked down...not up. Oy.
But what intrigued me the most in his recounting of the experience was the reverence that he had for the guides who lead them safely up, then down the mountain.
My client is a LEADER, through and through. A tremendously likeable person with strong opinions and high integrity, so I leaned in to hear more about what he perceived in his Kilimanjaro guides. I knew it would tell me everything I needed to know about him..to help him get to where he wants to be.
Because what we admire in others tells us all we need to know about what’s available to us. With some attention.
He said that the guides had the group set off in the middle of the night so that the climb wouldn’t get too hot in the mid-day. But my client suspects that it was so that climbers wouldn’t be able to see the peak of the mountain in the dark and lose their cool knowing how far they still had to climb.
Lesson: 1 Good leaders hold the vision for the group.
Over the course of the climb, the guides uttered one consistent refrain...like a mantra: “pole, pole” which is Swahili for “slowly, slowly.” Everyone can climb quickly at lower altitudes. But over the entirety of 19,000 feet, fewer, slower steps will get you there faster. And more safely.
Lesson 2: Good leaders know the dangers of rushing. One deliberate foot in front of the next is the way to climb any mountain.
After about 4 hours of climbing, at around 5am when the group was tired and feeling like the climb was relentless, as if on cue, the guides began to sing. Like, really sing. Full-chested deeply spiritual singing that reverberated off the mountains and into the canyons. Lifting them up, up, up.
Lesson 3: Good leaders know how to lift the spirits of their team. They know how to show up and model what is possible, what is hopeful, what is helpful, and what is resonant.
You can see why my dear client held such reverence for these guides, yes?
I’ve got some mountains of my own to climb these days. We all do. It’s helpful to me to remember to pay attention to those I also admire.
And then to drink deeply from those observations and remember that what I admire in them, I have available to me. As do you.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Vanessa Mentor
Vanessa Mentor moves in the world as a Black Haitian Woman, Mom, Words Lover & Story Catalyst. She strongly believes that we all come to earth with the inner wisdom and personal resources that we need to live life with more grace and ease. Through her work, Vanessa creates sacred practices & experiences for women in their 40's who've left their person behind and now want to Become & Live Unrestrained in their Body + Mind + Soul.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest is Vanessa Mentor. Vanessa Mentor moves in the world as a Black Haitian Woman, Mom, Words Lover & Story Catalyst. She strongly believes that we all come to earth with the inner wisdom and personal resources that we need to live life with more grace and ease. Through her work, Vanessa creates sacred practices & experiences for women in their 40's who've left their person behind and now want to Become & Live Unrestrained in their Body + Mind + Soul.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
The Impostor Complex and how it can get wrapped up in our body beliefs
Is my story worth sharing?
How to create stillness to be inside of yourself and connect with yourself
How to truly listen and gain answers and wisdom for questions that we face everyday
How becoming a mom was a catalyst moment for Vanessa
How to decide if you should share a particular story
VANESSA SAID//
I do this work to help people come to the understanding of who they are and why they are here, and that they have all the answers inside. This I believe hugely.
I’ve always loved stories, these words bring affirmation to our own lives… I can be a witness of my own story and pass it on because I believe in legacy.
Draw into your body because there is wisdom there.
(In relation to the Impostor Complex) There’s so much focused on the way we look, then our physical appearance becomes how we see ourselves and determines our worth.
TANYA SAID//
“Creativity is not benign.” - Brene Brown
(Vulnerability vs. Intimacy) Vulnerability as a means to connection and intimacy as accessibility… use this as a lense of sharing when thinking about if a story should be told or not.
LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT
FIND VANESSA
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler: Tanya's Solo Show!
This week, I’m hosting ITS SOLO. I’m answering ALLLLL of your Q’s on the areas of my life that rankle my own Impostor Complex: parenting, speaking, coaching, business. The things that matter the most to me. Ask me ANYTHING about those topics. I'll bring it. With prosecco.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week, I’m hosting ITS SOLO. I’m answering ALLLLL of your Q’s on the areas of my life that rankle my own Imposter Complex: parenting, speaking, coaching, business. The things that matter the most to me. Ask me ANYTHING about those topics. I'll bring it. With prosecco.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
Results of Tanya’s Birthday Offer (over $4k raised for charities around the world!!)
How Tanya decided her area of expertise was the Imposter Complex
Tanya’s first TEDx talk and how she found her passion for dismantling the Imposter Complex
The six behavioral traits of the Imposter Complex that we go to, to avoid being found out as an impostor or fraud - perfectionism, procrastination, comparison, diminishment, leaky boundaries, and people-pleasing (Tanya’s particular coping mechanism)
Our ministry is where our misery (and joy) has been
Where the Imposter Complex shows up for Tanya and how she handles it
How to share your work if you’re afraid
How to handle really big goals
“Slowly, slowly” vs “Hustle, hustle”
TANYA SAID//
[Realizing that the Imposter Complex is where my ministry is…] it’s the lens through which I see everything, it’s in my every conversation, and I can’t unsee it.
I believed that boundaries were probably one of my biggest issues up until probably about a year ago, and I hadn’t stopped to celebrate that I had done some great boundary work.
Over time, if you work the tools, it will shift and you can heal those aspects. They might still come up but again, it’s all about the faster recovery.
Your ministry is where your misery has been. I also say [your ministry] is also where your joy has been, lest we forget we are also allowed to speak from our places of deep joy because that’s where healing has also happened.
[For me,] the Imposter Complex shows up on the precipice of something new. … It does show up for me when I look to evolve my message.
The places of stretch for me happen when I speak about things I haven’t fully integrated.
One of the huge things about the Imposter Complex is that it’s supported by your deep values of integrity, excellence, and mastery.
You really just need to have a look at what you’re really afraid of, what are the consequence you imagine would happen, and how do you mitigate them the best that you can?
The fear of being ridiculed or misunderstood is no joke. I have deep empathy and compassion for those of you who are on the precipice of saying the hard things. Go in as strong as you possibly can, and then really do look at “And then...?” questions. “What happens? (They won’t like it.) And then?” And I think you’ll know how you want to respond.
We make a decision to do something, we make sure that it’s aligned, we make sure we have the support, we make sure we have the resources, then we do the work, and then we celebrate.
[The Imposter Complex] never really goes away. It’s like a traveling companion and it’s a little like fear. It’s not something that you’ll ever fully eradicate. Once again, it’s something that you can recover from more quickly such that you can get into action. And you don’t ever want to lose it entirely, because A) it’s going to let you know that what it is that is triggered is deeply important to you and B) it’s also here to remind you of your values of integrity, excellence, and mastery. In fact, when I think about all the times that I don’t experience the Imposter Complex, that just lets me know that maybe I’ve got a little more swinging out to do.
LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT
FIND TANYA
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler, featuring Tiffany Han
Hand raiser and yes sayer, Tiffany Han is a branding strategist for highly-creative women and host of the Raise Your Hand Say Yes podcast and co-host of the How to be Remarkable podcast. The love child of Terry Gross and Don Draper, she crafts programs and resources that not only help female entrepreneurs be more successful in their creative business but also have as much fun as possible. In her spare time (ha!), she starts as many dance parties as she can with her husband and twin daughters. They live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Find out more at tiffanyhan.com and go behind the scenes on Instagram @thetiffanyhan.
In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler is a weekly live show that shines a light on some of the biggest mindset challenges facing leaders and entrepreneurs today in their lives and in their work.
This week's guest is Tiffany Han. Hand raiser and yes sayer, Tiffany Han is a branding strategist for highly-creative women and host of the Raise Your Hand Say Yes podcast and co-host of the How to be Remarkable podcast. The love child of Terry Gross and Don Draper, she crafts programs and resources that not only help female entrepreneurs be more successful in their creative business but also have as much fun as possible. In her spare time (ha!), she starts as many dance parties as she can with her husband and twin daughters. They live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Find out more at tiffanyhan.com and go behind the scenes on Instagram @thetiffanyhan.
WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT:
Branding and the Impostor Complex.
How branding helps us communicate with the world
How to find your voice?
What is a strong brand?
How to step into a bigger brand?
Letting the brand to do the work
Tiffany's new webinar Don’t Hate Your Website
TIFFANY SAID//
When we “Say Yes!” it helps us get out of the Impostor Complex before doubts start to come in.
Branding helps us communicate to the world what we’re all about. If you’re not controlling the message, someone else will do it for you.
Let yourself shine, let yourself be seen in a powerful way. We want to make an impact on the world but we are ourselves back from our full power.
The power we have on the world starts with our branding.
A strong brand shows your unique voice in every interaction you may have. Seeing 40 seconds of Bruno Mars you know immediately his brand.
Strong brands don’t have to always be loud, they can be very soothing.
Be consistent when you are communicating and how people feel when they walk away from you.
The Impostor Complex can also show up through leaky boundaries by asking for too much feedback from too many people that don’t matter.
The Impostor Complex can also show up through procrastination and making convenient excuses to put off tasks
By establishing your brand at the beginning you are able to eliminate so many conversations that you don’t want to have and create boundaries.
The deeper you go into your own voice, the deeper you go into your own brand. And the deeper you go into your brand, the right people will show up.
How to find your voice can be answered by the following questions: What do you really want to do? What are you really after?
Sometimes we have to wade through a lot of “should haves” to see the light. We must be willing to get uncomfortable.
Let the brand drive the work and not the individual products
When wanting to expand your business, focus on depth instead of breadth. Go deeper into who you are and what you want to say to the world instead of trying to add more projects and products.
In order to revolutionize yourself, you have to start with clearing out what’s not working.
It is important to find the right support or assemble your cast.
We hate our websites because our brand is not strong or clear enough, or we rely on the designer to figure out our brand for us and then we end up with website that is not working.
When we outgrow our website it can feel powerless.
Next time you have a thought: Just do it and see what happens.
TANYA SAID//
We need make sure we are aligned with our inside belief and our outside portrayal
Branding is one of the most frightening things we can do
6 coping mechanisms for the Impostor Complex and many show up when it comes to Branding
Diminishment: we don’t want to feel like we’re standing out or draw attention to ourselves so we dim it and diminish
People pleasing: we want to be all the things for all the people. You can’t.
Perfectionism: keeps us from being authentic
Comparison: we see a brand we like and try to repeat it instead of owning our own voice
Procrastination: put it off because no one wants to think or talk about branding
Leaky Boundaries: we don’t allow ourselves to stand in our truth but let other people own parts of it as well.
Other people’s experience with you is still their truth but it is not Capital T: Truth.
The Impostor Complex always shows up on the precipice of new things
The Impostor Complex always shows up the most when we ask ourselves what we want to be doing. It is because it feels like the biggest risk.
We are all evolving and we can always be better
LINKS AND THINGS TALKED ABOUT
Free Webinar with BrandCrush: “Don’t Hate Your Website” on October 4, 2017
FIND TIFFANY
Tiffany’s Raise Your Hand Say Yes Podcast
BrandCrush’s How to Be Remarkable Podcast
Tiffany’s Instagram
Tiffany’s Pinterest
Each week Tanya and a guest star (an expert in their zone of genius) take on a topic that is UP in their work, or in the work of their clients. (Can’t step into your starring role when perfectionism, procrastination, boundaries, comparison, people pleasing, diminishment, and overwhelm are in the way, right?)
Listen to In the Spotlight with Tanya Geisler on iTunes or where you listen to your favorite podcasts!