Who does the internet say you are? Time for a (re)introduction.
This letter is long overdue.
It’s inspired by a beautiful post from Jena Schwartz on Facebook. She kindly cites my work on the Imposter Complex. And shares of herself...which is what I intend to do here.
It’s also inspired by a comment from a new client who said she spent the better part of a day researching me to see if I was who I said I was. (She landed the plane on the fact that I am. And that’s pretty fantastic.) I figured it was time again to share a little more about myself than my TEDx talk, training, and testimonials show. More than the internet says I am.
Who does the internet say you are? (Good Q, huh?)
It’s ALSO inspired by the fact that there are hundreds of new readers in this space since last month. I believe many of you found me through my newest training. Thank you for following the breadcrumbs to my digital home. And for those of you who have been faithfully reading my words since 2007, I thank you for your continued gift of your time. I appreciate you deeply.
Let’s go.
The last corporate job I held was in advertising. It was not, as we would say, soul-nourishing in any way shape or form. But it was ‘fine’. When my mother got sick, however, I started to develop a super complicated relationship with western medicine. Tricky, given my clients were all Big Pharma. There were definitely aspects of the work that I loved, to be certain. Things came to a head for me when I was in Ottawa supporting the launch of an Alzheimer’s drug. The planes crashed into the Twin Towers. In spite of the horror, we were told the “the show must go on”. THE. SHOW. MUST. GO ON. Apparently, we had yet to “dollarize the number of North Americans with Alzheimer’s.” Nah. And THAT was the beginning of the end for that career.
I found my way into coaching through a program I created out of necessity for a dear friend of mine called Board of Your Life. You should probably know that I intend to revive it with a fervour in the coming year. My sense is that now more than ever we need this kind of connection. More on that some other time.
You're going to hear me talking a lot about my mother here as she was a Model of Joy for me. I don't think we have enough Models of Joy… so I share her with you. Nor do we have Models of Celebration. Nor Models of Righteous Anger. When you find them, share them back.
We live with three cats. One is named Snoopy Bloodle Rainbow Pasta. The other is named Ramona Gergie Crookshanks Sarney Geisler. And the third, and this is my favourite of all the names, is Mateo. You can tell who did the naming and at what ages.
Speaking of which, I have a 15-year-old daughter who breaks my heart open with lifejoy on the daily. If you want to know more about her, I've been writing birthday posts to her for the last eight years. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Her 16th birthday is coming. That's gonna be a doozy.
I say shit like doozy all the time. I also say shit.
I am grateful that I have gathered excellent people around me...an excellent team and excellent friends. (Like Victoria...those are her hair-fixing hands in that picture. She makes me laugh like my sister does.)
I am endlessly fascinated by the Imposter Complex, which is likely what brought you here, and we should start by saying I call it the Imposter Complex (not Imposter Syndrome) for a very specific reason that I share in this article. It has three main objectives and I've written extensively about those here, here, and here.
I also think it's important that we undo a lot of the gaslighting that has been happening in the self development space around the behavioural traits of the Imposter Complex (like perfectionism, people-pleasing and diminishment etc.) and I attempt to unpack some of that here.
Speaking of undoing, I recognize that in my earliest works, I may have been reductive in my analysis of the Imposter Complex, which has maybe felt like bypassing for some. My podcast attempts to resolve some of that. Deepening into my body of work is exceptionally important to me. But doing it with care matters even more. I’m endlessly grateful to my coach Desiree Adaway for her unwavering support in these waters.
My deepest wish is some Grand Unified Theory on the Imposter Complex… but it’s, erm, complex. So I keep uncovering the layers. Imperfectly.
I have a daily journaling practice, and I'm not sure that I'm doing it right. (Ha!)
I could probably subsist on salad, popcorn, and cherries for all the days, but let me be clear: that salad would be loaded with all of the things and that popcorn will be swimming in butter and nutritional yeast or romano cheese.
I'm pretty sure that most of us spend half of our time wondering how we got so old. Further to that: I can never seem to remember if I like orange juice with extra pulp or no pulp. Related: I have a million notes of pithy aphorisms...and I am perpetually unsure of their source. Mine? Someone else’s? Case in point: "There are no launch codes to your life, your art, your movement. There is just the decision." (If you know the source, please share with me.)
I started drinking black coffee about a month after my dad died which I find strange and fascinating and also totally on-brand for our relationship. Speaking of coffee… I adore coffee dates with Staci and am pretty sure that being handed a steaming hot cup of coffee by my husband is my love language.
Cooking is joy for me.
So is my husband, Greg.
So is travelling. I adore traveling, but eco-anxiety is real my friends, and I am working hard to make sure that travel is saved for pleasure more so than work and have started doing way more webinars for corporations and organizations than speaking gigs. This cuts down on air travel and their costs. Win-win. Speaking of eco-anxiety, my friend Suzanne will be hosting a workshop in Austin in March. Speaking of Austin I'll be there in June — anyone want to set up a meet-up? Full circle.
I share more more more about what I love here in this ten year old article. Much is still true. Some of it is not.
I’m in my head about virtue signaling a LOT.
I’m on day 4 of JOY30. A 30 day exploration I created for myself as I was feeling under-resourced. Happy to share the outcomes once it’s wrapped.
A client once told me that I help people cross over an invisible line that was once a wall. That’s feels like the everything in my coaching work.
If you are up against a wall in your work, leadership and actualization, you can book a call with me here.
I’m glad you’re here. I’m grateful you’re here.
Check out my free training on the 5 Shifts Our Clients Use to Overcome the Imposter Complex and Grow their Income and their Impact
Where I pull back the curtain on five shifts to start raising voices, rates, and hands all while being the kind, congruent, and authentic leader I know you to be.